Chapter 12
Iwake up to a loud, consistent banging sound that shakes the roof. After I get out of bed and throw on some clothes, I find Raze hammering a wooden screen to the side of the hut.
“Do you know what time it is?” I rub the sleep from my eyes.
“Yep.” He stands up, clamping the screen tight in his fist, and testing it to make sure it’s firmly secured. Then he picks up his toolbox and moves past me.
“And do you usually do your home improvements at 6 am?” I yawn and follow him with my eyes.
“Yep.” He drives me insane with another short answer. I’m already annoyed that he didn’t come home last night till after I’d fallen asleep, despite the fact I tried really hard to stay up and wait for him.
There were so many women hanging out on the beach, I spent all night thinking about him being with one of them, and as jealous as it made me, at least it distracted me from my own problems.
I head to the chair and pick up my purse, taking out the cash I have left over from yesterday and he frowns when I hand it to him.
“Your change,” I explain.
“There’s like $250 here, I only gave you $350.” He counts the bills in his hand.
“Yeah, and I got everything I need. $50 on groceries, $50 on clothes.” I point out, proud of how efficient I was.
“You got clothes with $50?” He stares at me as if I’ve gone mad.
“I went to a thrift store.” I shrug as I switch on the coffee machine.
“You went to a what?”
“A thrift store, you know a place where–”
“I know what a thrift store is,” he talks over me. “You were supposed to spend the money I gave you to get yourself somethin’ decent.”
“I did get myself something decent, lots of things in fact.”
“Peyt–”
“No.” Now I cut him off, “I appreciate your help and I was grateful for the money, but you're not responsible for me.” I like the way his jaw tightens and his nostrils flare when I point that out.
“I’ll pay you back the $50 when I can get a job and I’ll pull my weight around the hut while I'm here. I’m not a freeloader.” I make that point very clear before picking up my thrift shop denim skirt along with the Nirvana tee that caught my eye, and heading into the bathroom to change.
I’m disappointed that Raze isn’t there when I come back out, and when he returns an hour later I do not expect to see him in the shorts and trainers he steps through the door in. His torso is slick with sweat, and he heads straight for the refrigerator to get himself some water.
“I never had you down as the exercising kind.” I lift my eyes up from the book I’m reading because he’s just too damn fine not to appreciate.
“I used to run on the beach every mornin’, it clears my head,” he points out catching his breath.
“And what does your head need to be clear of.” My thoughts go back to the way he kissed me last night and it makes my pussy start to pulse. After all that happened with Billy, I never imagined I’d ever have the desires I do when I’m around Raze, perhaps that's why this man has me so mesmerized.
“A lot of things. I’ve been thinkin’...”
Shit, here it comes, he’s going to tell me to leave and sleep at the motel and the panic from that thought instantly hits my chest.
“...There’s a get-together on the beach tonight and if you wanted to...” He avoids making eye contact with me and looks a lot like he’s swallowing his pride.
“Are you saying I can go?” I slam the book down.
“That’s what I’m sayin’,” he tells me, keeping his voice stern.
I’m excited for the first time in so long. I actually feel excited. Even when I was living in Sacramento, Kane would never let me hang out at the club. There, I understood why all of the members hated my father for what he did. Kane never trusted that I’d be safe around them. But, here it’s different, nobody knows who I am, and nobody wants to hurt me. I’m safe and the thought of being included in this party makes me want to happy-dance. Though I manage to pull it back and remain cool.
“That run must have really done you some good.” I drop my eyes down to his abs, and the way they glisten makes me want to touch them.
“The club will be quiet today, you can head on up and help out Polly if you want, she’s gonna be busy preparin’.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal and I have to hold myself back from running at him and throwing my arms around his neck.
“I’d really like that.” I smile as I get up from the couch, then shock him when I move toward him and press a kiss against his bristled jaw.
“Thank you,” I whisper before picking up my new purse and making my way toward the clubhouse to help where I can.
I don’t know where Raze’s sudden change of heart has come from but I’m onboard with it. I take the stairs and when I see Saint, or Sinner, sitting on one of the bench seats on the balcony I smile at him warily until I’m sure that it’s Saint that’s looking back at me.
“I’m not like him, you know.” He catches me before I can move past him.
“Sinner’s always been a part of me and although I get to be present more than he does, he’s the dominant one. He decides when he comes and goes and he always causes destruction.” I notice how tired Saint looks and I feel really sorry for him. “My advice to you is if you see him run in the other direction,” he warns before getting up off the bench and opening the door for me.
“I’ll take that advice.” I smile trying to imagine how awful it must feel to not have control of your own body. It’s not all that hard when I think back to a few years ago and the weight of Billy’s body on top of mine.
“You okay?” Saint looks concerned when I quickly take a step back.
“I’m fine.” My heartbeat speeds up when I think about Billy being free to walk the streets, creeping into my room, and crawling onto my bed. He always wore his dirty overalls and it was impossible to wash the smell of oil off my skin afterward.
“I should get to helping Polly.” I fake him a smile before I rush inside the clubhouse.
“Where can I find Polly?” I ask the guy standing at the bar when I see no sign of her. He’s tall, with dark hair that’s shaved at the sides and a little longer on top. His arms are covered with tattoos, and the nose ring he’s wearing is kinda cute, although nothing else about him seems to be.
“Raze know you're up here?” he checks furrowing his brow.
“Raze sent me,” I tell him cleverly. “He said I should help Polly with the prep for tonight.”
“He did now, did he?” He folds his arms as if he doesn’t believe me.
“Well, she’s gone to the wholesalers to get food for the grill. Raze throwin’ this last minute party got her all stressed out so she’ll be glad of the help.”
“Wait, the party was his idea?” I have to admit, hearing that shocks me. Raze doesn’t seem like a party kinda guy.
“Apparently he is, and everyone here’s always down for a party. Strictly no women and kids in the clubhouse though, not unless the women are…” He pulls a smile that matches that nose ring on the cute level. “Ya know?”
“Yes, I know, and I guess I’ll be staying on the beach.” I look through to the back room when I notice some of the other members busying around the big wooden table. They look as if they are dismantling guns.
“What’s going on in there?” I stretch on my toes to look over his shoulder.
“That’s not for you to be worryin’ about.” He steps to the left and blocks me. “If you wanna help Polly, you can wait out here till she gets back.” He nods across to one of the chairs and I take a seat while he steps inside the room and closes the door behind him.
I tap my feet on the worn wooden floor and look up at the clock, wondering how long Polly will be. I was so excited to come up here and be around all the different people that I’m a little disappointed to be left on my own. It’s giving those thoughts of Billy a chance to start swirling around my head again.
The front door opens and the guy who strolls through it acknowledges me by lifting his chin. He’s wearing jeans, and a white tee under his cut. His arms are also covered in tattoos, so is the hand he uses to push back his long, wavy hair
“Raze know you’re here?” he checks with exactly the same look on his face that the other guy had.
“Yes,” I answer, in a much sharper tone than I did before. I was in such a good mood walking up here, and now that I’ve let Billy into my head I’ve become irritable.
“Chill down, darlin’ just tryin’ to keep ya outta trouble.” He smirks as he heads behind the bar and helps himself to a coffee. He’s still smiling at me over the rim of it as he pulls it up to his lips.
“Where on earth did you come from?” he asks, resting back against the bar and studying me suspiciously. I feel unease stir in my stomach when I get the sense he might know something.
“San Diego, why?” I lie because I have to avoid anything that might give me away.
“Just intrigued, is all.”
“I’m Wrath, Raze’s Vice,” he introduces himself.
“I’m Pey–”
“We all know who you are.” He’s got a smirk on his face and I’m about to ask him what he means when the door to the side room opens. The guy who steps out has a bandage wrapped around his head that covers his eye. I can’t recall it being there when I last saw him. But I was too wasted to remember anything much about my encounter with Sinner. I do recall his brother and the guy with the nose ring having some kind of scuffle.
“Nice of you to show ya face, VP.” He sniggers and helps himself to a beer. “We not got anyone on service?” He looks around.
“It ain’t even 11 am.” Wrath laughs at him. “How’s the eye?”
“Docs wanted to keep me in but I discharged myself.” He knocks back his bottle.
“What happened?” Curiosity gets the better of me and I allow the words to tumble from my mouth.
“Why don’t you ask your boyf–” He instantly goes silent when the side door opens and Raze steps inside, bringing with him those flutters I get in my stomach whenever I’m around him.
“Wrath. Griller.” He nods his head at them both before making his way toward me.
“Polly isn’t here, she’s grocery shopping, I was just waiting here for her,” I explain myself far too quickly. From the corner of my eye, I notice Wrath and Griller head into the side room where something is clearly going on.
What happened to his eye?” I ask Raze, even more curious to get answers now. I get the impression that with him, anything is possible.
“He said somethin’ he shouldn't have to the wrong person.” His expression doesn’t change and his eyes remain focused on mine.
“And was that someone you?” I’m pretty sure I know the answer, but I need to hear it from him. Something happens when I’m around Raze that has me forgetting that this man is the president of a motorcycle club. In fact, I find it easy to forget my whole situation until moments like before hit me and give me a reality check.
“I’m sure Polly won’t be long.” He ignores my question and heads towards the door.
“What’s happening in there?” I blurt out before he can open it. I don’t like the idea of being kept in the dark about the things he does. I want to know everything about this man.
“That’s club business, sweetheart.” His rough gravelly voice courses through me, and the wink he gives sets fire to those butterflies in my stomach. How is it possible for him to make me so angry and desperate all at the same time?