Raze (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #1)

Chapter 27

I’m far too wound up to be getting into an argument with Peyton right now. Especially since she’s right. I shoulda been honest with her from the start and admitted I’d been hurt. I was just too damn proud. Maybe I could have handled what happened, back at the club, a little better too, and shown her some reassurance before I took Stacey into my office. But I was in shock, I never expected to ever see that woman again and I certainly never expected her to know where my sister was.

I find myself standing under a tree, looking across the street at the studio my sister owns. It’s real fancy with a full glass front and a few mannequins dotted around on podiums inside. I stand with my shoulder resting on the trunk, smoking cigarette after cigarette as I watch her sitting on a stool and sketching something. A woman paces in front of her throwing out instructions and occasionally looks over her shoulder to look at Eden’s progress. I couldn’t be prouder of her for what she’s achieved, even if she has been sailing a little close to the wind being so close to Cliff and the club.

The woman eventually leaves the studio, pulling down her sunglasses before getting into a chauffeur-driven car and I debate if I should cross the street and take Stacey’s advice. The thought of her wanting me to think she was dead hurt beyond measure, but now I know it wasn’t her choice. It changes things. She’s achieved so much and maybe she’s strong enough to forgive me now.

I’m about to take a step forward when another fancy car pulls up outside the studio doors. A handsome man, wearing a suit, steps out and straightens the sleeves of his jacket before he heads for the door.

They burst open before he can get to them and when my sister comes running out, I smile to myself as she leaps onto him and wraps her arms around his neck the way Peyton does with me. It’s a bittersweet moment seeing her so happy. Sweet because whoever this guy is, it’s obvious she’s in love with him. Bitter, because I know how much Wrath is gonna hurt that he ain’t him.

I watch the guy kiss her and gently place her back on her feet, then after she’s locked the studio door and pulled down the shutter, he holds the car door open for her to get inside.

I rest my head back against the tree trunk and take a breath. It’s very clear that my little sister doesn’t need me, and despite all I said about leaving her be, standing here and realizing that, really hurts.

Seeing Stacey today also brought something else to light, something that I’m too afraid to admit, even to myself.

Ten years ago when I came home and found her in the state she was in, I thought I’d had my heart broken. She was the person I’d wanted to spend the rest of my life with and right there in that moment, I thought Cliff Adams had snatched all that away from me. I see it all so differently now.

I never really loved Stacey, how could I have when nothing I was or did for her was ever good enough? I was too preoccupied with being the man she wanted me to be, to realize that I was losing myself.

I have a beautiful girl at home, one who accepts me for everything I am. I hurt her today and I never took the chance to tell her that no one has ever come close to making me feel the way she does.

I waste no more time feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I march straight back to my bike and ride back to the club.

I use the side gate to the beach to avoid going through the clubhouse, heading straight for my hut and swinging open the door. Peyton’s sitting on the couch, reading a book and I take her completely off guard when I snatch it outta her hands, grab her face, and kiss her.

“I’m sorry.” I eventually pull back, seeing her wide, bright eyes staring back at me in shock. “I shoulda been honest with you. I shoulda made you feel more secure about me takin’ Stacey into my office, but honestly, I saw nothin’ in it because she means nothin’ to me,” I admit and when Peyton still has nothing to say, I realize I’m gonna have to give her more.

“She hurt me,” I admit, hating how weak that sounds. “I went to jail tryin’ to give her everythin’ and when I got out she’d changed. She was sleepin’ with Cliff and takin’ drugs, and I put the blame of all that on myself too. I let her hurt me and I hated myself for that, for so long. I didn’t want to admit that to ya, especially not at a time when we were so happy together.”

I can see her head thinking over what I just said but I still have no idea what she’s thinking.

“You called him a dumb-assed bird.” Are not the words I was expecting to hear from her after my confession.

“What?” I shake my head and check I heard her right.

“You called Reggie a dumb-assed bird,” she repeats, looking to where the raven is perched on the arm of the chair beside her, with his head raised. “You need to say sorry to him too.” She looks me dead in the eye as if she’s actually serious.

“Peyton?” I laugh at her.

“I mean it, you shouldn't have taken your anger out on him.” She proves she really is being serious when she folds her arms across her chest.

“You really want me to say sorry to the bird, don’t ya?” I look between them both wondering if I’m really about to apologize to a fuckin’ raven.

“Yes, Raze, I do.” She smiles curtly.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” I look at him and do as she asks, and his lack of response causes her to shake her head.

“He doesn’t believe you.”

“What…? Pey, you can’t be?—”

“Try using his name, it’s a little more personable,” she whispers, making me wanna spank her fuckin’ ass in frustration.

“Okay.” Staring back down at him, I fake a smile. “Reggie, I’m very sorry.” I look up at Peyton for her approval and when I see her shoulders shaking and her hand covering her mouth I realize I’ve been played.

“You…” I stand up and lift her over my shoulder, never minding the goddamn bird as I carry her over to the bed and dump her on the mattress.

“I can’t believe you just apologized to a bird. Now Alicia owes me $20.” She giggles as I hover over her body and think of all the ways I could get my revenge.

“You bet Alicia that you could make me apologize to your bird?” I cock my brow at her.

“No, but I bet her that I could get you talkin’ to him.” The clever smile on her face is irresistible.

“Yeah well, there's a lotta things I’d do for you that are unbelievable,” I tell her, wondering if there’s a limit. Something about her has me acting all outta character but I like the person I am when I’m around her. He laughs, he smiles, and he believes that good things might actually come from him being here.

I smother her with kisses and tickle the side of her stomach, right where her weak spot is, and just the sound of the laughter she makes has me falling even more in love with her.