9. Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
MIKA
I stare out the window in front of me. Papi had someone come in and make a small window so I can sit on the ground and look outside. I still haven’t been outside, and I long to do it, but at the same time I never want to leave.
I’m worried.
Worry fills me every time I wake and I don’t know what to do. I can’t count how many times I’ve filled up my diapers. Every morning and every nap, it’s always wet, and sometimes during the day I don’t even realize I have filled it.
Papi has been diligent about feeding me a bottle every few hours, which has made me put on some weight. I’m not worried about that; I quite like myself now—I look healthy.
I’m worried I’m going to get so comfortable, and he’s going to sell me or put me to work. I’m still exhausted whenever I wake from a nap. Will I survive if he puts me to work again?
Papi said I will never have to work again, but I must. I can’t just live like this. This must be a trial run to see if I do everything he says.
It must be.
Papi enters the room. I can feel his presence, but I can also hear his footsteps. I continue to gaze out the window.
“Poliki Sanki?” Papi takes several steps closer.
I sigh and watch Voklies walking past. I’ve seen several Dagmon men pass by but not many human women. Are they all dead? Will I die in a few months?
Most of the women I have seen, I don’t recognize. How long have they been here? They look older and unbothered that they are walking around wearing only a diaper. Okay, that is a lie. Some of them wear a shirt, but most of them only wear a diaper.
“Mika? Aliki?” Papi sits down next to me.
I feel so small against him. Even sitting, he towers over me, and to look at his face, I must crane back my neck.
“What’s wrong, Aliki?” Papi asks. “You can tell Papi anything.”
“Nothing,” I whisper.
I want to look at him, I crave to see him, but I stop myself. I will spill my guts if I look at him or have any sort of physical contact with him.
That’s how it works and how I believe it’s always going to work. Which sucks for me because Papi knows that.
Papi grabs my pinkie and holds on. “Not acceptable, Aliki. I know something is bothering you. Tell Papi so I can make it better.”
“Do you need anything?” I hope to change the subject.
Maybe he’ll tell me if I need to work now. Maybe he’ll give me a job so I know what to do and don’t feel on edge any longer.
“No, and we aren’t going to change the subject. What’s wrong?”
“Please,” I whisper. “Please. I’m just trying to wrap my brain around everything, and I don’t know where to start.”
It isn’t a lie, but it also isn’t true. I could start anywhere and filter through all my thoughts.
“You have till the end of the day to tell me. We will be talking about it then,” Papi informs me.
I nod and close my eyes for a few seconds.
Papi wraps his hands around my waist and puts me on his lap like he is going to feed me a bottle. “You know I care about you, right?”
I open my eyes to look at him. “Yes, papi.”
That is something I am trying to understand. He hasn’t explained why he picked me as his mate. Why does he need a mate?
“You are my life. Us men of Dagmon have this need to take care of someone. When we found that humans were compatible with us, we approached your government,” Papi explains. “Every month, one of us gets to pick a mate. We get to pick someone we feel a connection to, someone we are going to take care of for the rest of our lives. Someone we are going to love, cherish, spoil, discipline, and grow old with. You are that person for me.”
Okay, it is as if he can read my mind.
“I just want to let you know that you are the only one for me. There is no one else. I am not going to put you to work ever again. Papi works and has enough to last us a lifetime. You are going to relax and be my Poliki Sanki, my little one.”
Him saying those words eases my worries some, but I am still worried. Nothing makes any sense.
“I need to tell you something,” he calmly says. “Do you think you can pay attention?”
Worry bubbles up inside me. What is he going to tell me? Is he going to tell me I am moving to a different person’s house?
I close my eyes. No, that doesn’t make any sense. He just told me he is keeping me forever.
“Polikia Sanki, are you okay?” he asks.
I open my eyes, look at him, and smile.
“We have a tradition on our planet. Both for the male and female,” he explains.
“Tradition?” I ask.
Is it going to be something weird, like me running around naked for a day?
“What kind of tradition?” Anxiety flows through my body as I wonder what it can be.
“Yes, a tradition. Our women get their Papi’s name tattooed on their collarbone. We get our girls’ names tattooed on ours as well.”
It’s like ice cold water is splashed on me. Has he really just said the girls get tattoos on their collarbones?
“No,” I whisper. “There is no way I am going to get a tattoo.”
“Yes, Aliki. It is tradition, and we don’t go against tradition,” Papi explains. “We have an appointment in a couple of minutes to get it done.”
I shake my head and push against him. I am not getting a tattoo. “No, Papi! Please, no. I’m not good with pain!” I yell, still trying to get out of his arms.
With him having four, it makes it nearly impossible for me to get free.
“It’s going to be okay, Poliki Sanki. We have this numbing cream that will help make you feel no pain as you get it,” Papi explains. “It’s happening whether you like it or not. Tradition is very important on Dagmon, and I’m not going to break it.”
Tears flow down my face as I give up in his arms. There is no way out of this.
“I’ll be there every single step of the way.” Papi runs his hands through my hair. “I am not going to leave your side at all.”
“I don’t want it,” I whisper. “Pain is no good.”
“You are going to be fine. I promise you won’t feel anything. The numbing cream will make sure of that, several hours after you get the tattoo done. No pain at all.”
I shake my head and push off his chest again. “Please,” I beg.
Papi sets me down on my feet, and I waddle over to the corner, pushing my back against it and bringing my knees up to my chest. I place my head against my knees and draw several deep breaths.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. So much in so little time and I can’t even process it. I don’t have time.
Tears run down my face as I rock myself.
“Aliki,” Papi whispers, his voice breaking. “Come to Papi so I can hold you and help you calm down.”
I don’t respond, though. I know he can help me calm down, but I don’t know if I want that. Sure, I do, but I want to be able to think about things and feel my emotions. When he is holding me, I don’t feel anything but peace, calmness, and being protected.
“Mika, please. Papi doesn’t like seeing you so upset.”
“I don’t want it,” I say. “I don’t want the tattoo. I don’t like pain. I don’t want any more pain.”
The other day, the spanking was bad enough. Feeling my bottom on fire every time I walked as it rubbed against my diaper or when I sat on a chair was torture. I had tears in my eyes the whole time.
“You won’t feel any pain at all. I promise you,” he says, his voice getting closer. “There will be no pain involved.”
Papi hasn’t lied to me yet, but can I trust him on this?
“I still don’t want it,” I say. “I want to be left alone right now.”
Papi places a hand on my foot, and I try to kick it away.
“Be nice,” Papi warns. “I have been nothing but nice to you.”
“We don’t trade being nice for nice,” I mumble. “Sometimes nice people can be the rudest.”
“Poliki Sanki. Papi is not going to be rude to you. You are my Poliki Sanki, my Aliki. I treasure you. I love you.”
I gasp and stare at him. He loves me? Has he really just said that?
“Yes, Aliki. I do love you, and I have for a while. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I do love you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. Hundreds of years just getting to know each other.”
“H-hundreds?” I ask in disbelief. There is no way I will be able to live to be that old. “Are you planning on keeping my dead corpse with you until you die? Creepy, but to each their own.”
Papi chuckles. “No, Aliki. I don’t plan on keeping your dead corpse with me until I die. I plan on keeping you, very much alive, with me until we both die.”
“News flash but I am human. We live to maybe one hundred max before we die.”
Does he not know this? Has he been misinformed?
“But with our food and atmosphere, you’ll live for hundreds of years with me. You’ll slowly age.”
My mouth falls open as I look at him.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, but we have hundreds of years to get to know each other.”
“So why can’t we wait a hundred years for me to get the tattoo?” I ask.
“Poliki Sanki, tradition. We don’t wait to have the tattoo done. Normally, people get them on the first day they arrive in the village, but it needs to be done before the first week.”
“And we’re getting close to the first week.”
Papi nods. “We are, so I’ll leave you alone for a little bit, but we are going to get it done.”
Papi rises and leaves the room, leaving me to my thoughts and myself. Is there a way to go and not get this done? Even if I get out of the house, I won’t know where to go. I haven’t been out of the house yet.
“Polikia Sanki, it’s time to go.” Papi returns to the room.
I blink several times. Not even a minute has passed, and he is already back.
“Twenty minutes have passed. Come on,” Papi says as he picks me up.
I bury my head in his chest and take several deep breaths. I don’t want to look out as he goes to the place. I don’t want people to see me naked.
“You’re okay,” Papi whispers. “I’ve got you. Nothing is going to happen.”
Nothing is going to happen? I am getting a tattoo, something I don’t want.
“Just keep your head in my chest, and I’ll take care of everything else.”
And that’s exactly what I do. Papi keeps a hand on the back of my head, making sure I do keep my head in his chest, but I don;t mind. More skin-to-skin contact eases me somewhat, but the anxiety still bubbles inside me.
“Reakrid! So good to see you found her,” someone yells.
I move my head slightly, peeking out at an even taller man standing nearby.
“Brunkils! This is Mika, my Poliki Sanki.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Mika. Please, you can sit her down here, and we’ll start.”
I try to grip onto Papi as he puts me down, but I can’t hold onto anything. He doesn’t wear a shirt, which leaves me with nothing.
“Papi,” I whine.
“You’re okay. Brunkils is going to put the numbing cream on, and we’ll wait for it to start working. Then he’ll start tattooing,” Papi explains as Brunkils does something.
I keep my eyes on Papi, not paying attention until I feel something cold encircle my wrists. I gasp as I look, realizing they have handcuffed me to the chair.
“Papi?” Panic is evident in my voice.
“You’re okay. We do this for every Little girl. Just as a precaution but nothing bad is going to happen.”
I shake my head and tug on the handcuffs. Tears pool in my eyes as I look at Papi. He secures two straps across my midsection to keep me in place.
My eyes go wide. Are they planning to torture me?