Chapter 28
OCTOBER 03 – FRIDAY 7:40 PM
L iam
The night was perfect. You couldn’t have asked for a better fall evening. The sky was clear of all clouds, leaving us sitting under a blanket of stars. The fire was crackling, but Ren refused to sit closer or ask for a blanket despite shivering. She thought I was difficult to figure out, but she was just as big of a mystery.
Ren was alluring with her stunning features and silver hair. She wrapped herself in a layer of permafrost, but the warmth of her heart was impossible to hide. It was a protective shield from the world, but there was no doubt that when the time came, Ren would stand up and fight.
There was nothing about her that was pretentious or fake, and she didn’t take herself too seriously. I’d poked at her ten different ways already and she never got angry, always giving back as good as I gave. She was quick on her feet with a sharp tongue and didn’t seem to have an ego. I couldn’t understand that. I had never met anyone who truly didn’t give a shit what people thought of them until her.
Was this what drew everyone in? Well, everyone but Myles. He was a love-struck pup the moment he laid eyes on her. But Blake, Theo, and hell, even Nash were all drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I had viewed her as nothing more than a threat. Worming her way into the group and obliterating us from the inside. Destroying me and Theo. But now…now, I didn’t know what to make of her, and that was a new experience for me.
Ren glanced at me a few times before pressing her lips together and looking away. For as alpha as she was, there was a timidness there that would be irresistible in the bedroom. Ren was a conundrum.
“Okay…I’m just going to ask it,” Ren said and wiped her hands on her jeans. I took a drink to prepare myself for Ren’s questions. “Are you going to come in my eye?”
Water spewed out of my mouth and into the fire. I wasn’t expecting that and started laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn’t see a fucking thing.
“What the hell have you been watching?”
Ren glared at me.
“You told me to research, not what to research or where.”
“Fair enough. So, what the hell are you talking about? Why would I come in your eye?”
Ren’s face turned a wicked shade of pink. “Myles and Blake thought they could educate me on your lifestyle.”
My jaw dropped as I stared at her. “Please tell me you didn’t listen to a single word they said?”
“Said…they didn’t say anything. They demonstrated. Myles smacked me and called me slut. He came all over my face and got me in the eye and…stop laughing,” she said, but I couldn’t.
My stomach hurt, and I rolled off the log, howling with laughter, picturing it in my head. The blind leading the blind and trying to make her blind at that.
“Stop it,” Ren said, nudging my foot but chuckling. “Are you telling me that everything they showed me was wrong? Am I going to have to kill them? I am aren’t I?”
It took me a minute to speak as I gasped for air, but I managed to climb back up onto the log.
“Wait, wait, wait…when your eye was red, was that because….”
“Yes,” she growled, and the hysterics started all over again.
“Oh my god. That is the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.” Wiping my eyes, I looked over and Ren was shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I was going to kill them if they called me their come slut one more time.”
“Stop, I can’t take anymore.”
“It’s not funny. I thought…I thought I was finding a way to make you like me. I’m such an idiot. Why did I listen to them?” She stood up to walk away, but I blocked her path. “I feel so freaking stupid.”
“Don’t. I should’ve pointed you in the right direction. That’s on me. But…you get an A for effort,” I said, snickering, then laughed as she punched me in the arm.
“Jerk.”
Sobering, I stared down at her. There it was again, open honesty. I tipped her chin up with my finger, and she shivered.
“We need some ground rules.” She nodded slightly, her eyes going wide as my mouth ghosted over hers. “You never…ever…under any circumstance…ask Myles and Blake about anything to do with the lifestyle. In fact, it’s kind of like fight club. The first rule of the lifestyle is never take instruction from someone not in the lifestyle. Understand?”
“Yes,” she whispered, the word sounding like candy to my ears.
Brushing my nose against the corner of her mouth, I drew a line across her cheek. Goosebumps rose along her skin, but she didn’t shy away from me.
“Tell me why you agreed to do this,” I breathed softly next to her ear and loved how she shuddered.
I might not be able to understand her outside of sex, but I was picking up on all of her subtle cues when I touched her. Fuck Theo because she was just what I loved.
“I love Theo, and he loves you. If us being together makes him happy, then I want to try.”
“I believe you,” I said, nipping Ren’s ear, and she moaned.
“Will you ever listen to them again?”
“No,” she answered quickly.
“No, Sir,” I said.
“No, Sir.” Her voice was so soft and breathy that if I hadn’t been so close, I wouldn’t have heard it, but it was perfect for her.
“That’s a good Little Rabbit,” I growled, and she swayed on her feet. Taking a slow step back, I stared into her glassy eyes and smiled. She didn’t move or pull away from my finger still holding her chin up. Dropping it, I watched her blink like she was clearing away a fog. “That’s how you teach a lesson. Do you see the difference?”
“Yes,” Ren said, and I lifted a brow. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good.” Walking back to the log, I sat down and picked up my water, keeping an eye on her. Ren bit her bottom lip and eventually wandered back like a wary animal. Her nickname was perfect. She reminded me so much of a rabbit. She’d just gotten a taste of a sweet carrot and was curious enough to look for more as she sat down, closer to me this time.
“I don’t understand. What about all that stuff Theo said about how I couldn’t handle you? And everything you said?”
“We’ll build up to that. You need to know that the lifestyle is about mutual trust, respect, and pleasure. If any one of those is missing, everything falls apart. And yes, I might have been trying to push your buttons in the kitchen to see how you would respond.”
“You really are a jerk.” Ren shook her head, and I chuckled.
“Not as much as Nash.”
Her face fell, and she looked away. I watched her closely, wondering if she might admit what happened in Seattle.
“No, not as much as Nash.”
“If that’s the case, then why did you sleep with him?”
Her head whipped in my direction, anger brimming under her skin. “He told you?”
“No, but you just did.”
She rolled her eyes. “Son of a….”
“Look at me for a minute.”
Ren crossed her arms defensively before looking at me. I reached out, grabbed her, and tugged until she gave up and let her arms fall. Sliding my hands down to hers, I held them. Anxiety was pouring off her in waves.
“I’m not judging, but why haven’t you told the guys.”
“Trust me, I’ve thought about it.”
It was another truth. Ren just wasn’t built to lie. A pro for us, but a con in this world. No wonder Lawrence hit her. He wouldn’t have liked anything she’d said about him.
“What would it accomplish other than turning everyone against Nash? That’s not what the Kings need, even if I never want to see his face again. I’m not after destruction, Liam.”
She looked away, but not before I saw the devastation Nash had caused. Dumbass had no clue. If he wanted to fix this it was going to be a lot harder than I originally thought.
“Okay…I won’t say anything.” She flicked her gaze at me, and I cupped her chin, forcing her to face me. “I promise.”
“If they ever find out, then they’ll be pissed with both of us. Why would you want to take that chance?”
“Because you’re right. They’ll go after Nash, and despite recent events, we need him.” Tracing her cheek with my thumb, I sighed before letting my hand drop. “I’m going to tell you something because…we are up here as a trust and bonding exercise, but this can never get back to Nash.”
“Are you going to try and convince me that he’s actually a sugar-coated teddy bear, and this is all a big misunderstanding? Because if so, I call bullshit,” she sassed, and my cock twitched. Shit, she had a certain, je ne sais quoi.
“No, but that’s quite an image.”
Nash would shoot me if he found out I told Ren about this, but it was worth the risk if it closed the gap between them. Whatever deal he’d made with Vicky’s father, there was no way he would go through with it unless he had a way out. At least, I fucking hoped so. I’d never bow down to Vicky as Nash’s wife.
Reaching into my pack, I pulled out my silver flask and two metal cups. Pouring some in each, I handed her one. “Sip it. Don’t take it as a shot,” I said as she put it to her lips. “It’s sixty-year-old scotch.”
Ren looked down. “Who takes sixty-year-old scotch camping?”
“Someone intelligent.”
She smirked and took a drink. Ren made a face like she was pleasantly surprised by the flavor as she swallowed. When her tongue peeked out to clean the remnants, I grabbed her chin and kissed her hard, taking us both by surprise. I licked the bold flavor off her lips, sucking the bottom one into my mouth to get it all. I really did like how she opened for me with a small moan. Ren would be easy to train, but if I told her that, she’d smack me, which made her so much more interesting than I initially believed.
“You taste good,” I said, letting her go.
She looked a little less defensive now as she smoothed down her hair, sipped the drink again, and cleared her throat.
“So, what did you want to tell me about Nash?”
“He has many reasons for the way he treated you. But…the one that made him lash out in such a volatile manner is what I’m going to talk to you about.”
“I’m not sure there’s anything you can say that will excuse what he said, but I’m all ears.”
“Nash was in love with a girl. I know, shocking,” I said as Ren’s eyes went wide. “Her name was Mya. Her family was typical middle class, but her father had done a few favors for Lawrence, so the payouts allowed her to attend Sacred Heart. Nash met Mya at one of the joint events, they hit it off, and I’m sure you can guess the rest.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Over five years ago now, they were fourteen the first time they met.”
Ren cocked her head as she looked at me, and I could see the wheels turning. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me this.”
“Relax, I’m getting there.” I poured her a little more scotch. “As I’m sure you can imagine, Lawrence wasn’t happy about Nash dating someone with nothing to offer the family. But they were only fourteen, puppy love, so he didn’t really pay them any attention until two years later when Nash got her pregnant.”
“What? Nash has a child?”
“No.”
Standing up, I took my drink as a shot and let the liquid burn down my throat.
“They aborted, or she lost it?”
“No.”
I dropped my eyes to hers, and she gasped.
“No.”
“Yes. Lawrence wanted to teach Nash a lesson. He made Nash watch as he killed Mya’s family. Then, had Nash taken away as he killed Mya and their unborn child.”
“Oh my god,” Ren said, covering her mouth. Tears filled her eyes, and in that second, I knew I’d done the right thing. She needed to understand the scars to understand the man.
“He’s never been the same. He blames himself for her death, hates his father, but most importantly, he’s never, and I mean never, let anyone back in…until you.” Ren gazed up at me, and I nodded. “Nash is fucking terrified that if he lets you in, something will happen again. Mostly that his father will find out and use you to crush him.”
I sat back down and wrapped my arm around Ren’s shoulders.
“He loves you, but he may never admit it or ever be able to let you in all the way. I’m not telling you this so you’ll forgive him because I don’t think you should, at least not without him begging for forgiveness. Nash needs to really dig deep and fight for what he wants. If that’s you, then he’ll prove it.”
“This is a lot and heavy. I feel terrible, and I can’t say anything. Do the other guys know?”
I nodded. “Yes, but they can’t know that you know, or it will get back to him. I’m better at keeping secrets.”
“I’m not sure that’s a selling feature. It’s kind of like saying this car is fantastic, but it has a speed regulator on it.”
“Oh…I like that reference. But it’s the truth. So, before you write Nash off forever, I need you to understand the fear and wound that is under the rage you saw. He’s not mad at you. He’s mad at himself for opening the door to feelings that he swore he wouldn’t have again. Think about it like this. He wasn’t wearing you down over the last year, it’s the other way around. You got under his skin, and now he’s lost.”
“And what about the marriage to Vicky,” she asked softly, confirming my second suspicion.
“I can’t answer that one, but I know he doesn’t want to marry her. If he did sign a contract for Vicky, he’d have a plan to get out of it. Take of that what you will, but I thought you should know.”
Ren rested her head on my shoulder like she had the night of Myles’s initiation. She was quiet for so long that I thought she’d fallen asleep with her deep, even breathing.
“Thanks for trusting me, Liam.”
“You’re welcome, Little Rabbit.”