Chapter 34
OCTOBER 08 – WEDNESDAY 1:20 PM
R en
Blake’s hand grazed my leg, and I jerked out my day-long daze.
“What’s going on,” he asked, and I shook my head.
“Just can’t focus, and I hate it. My mind is swirling around everything but learning Russian. The stupid thing is, I would know more about my family if I could read it, but nothing is sticking. Feels like I’ve got a mental block or something. Everytime I sit down and try to learn it starts, and no matter what I do the words all jumble together.” Tossing my pen down, I crossed my arms. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
“Spending time with you is never a waste. But I do have to get to class. Do you want me to walk you to the library?”
As tempting as it was to get out of my room for a bit, it was too easy to get distracted by all the books in the library.
“No, I better force myself to study while it’s still quiet. I love Ivy, but she’s a talker.”
Blake leaned in and hovered his lips over mine, putting the proverbial ball in my court. It was an invitation he always offered, and I’d never refuse. I kissed him deeply—what I wouldn’t give to keep him here with me all day.
“I’ll grab us dinner after class. Tell me what you want, anything, and it’s yours,” he said against my lips.
“So many things to choose from. Do you like spicy food?”
“I like anything hot and spicy when you’re involved,” Blake teased and winked. “But, yes, I do. Myles, not so much.”
“Caribbean then. Surprise me with your favorites.”
“You’ve got it.”
He kissed me again before grabbing his laptop and bag and heading for the door. Blake opened it, and Nash was on the other side with his hand poised to knock. Ugh, a showdown with Nash was the last thing I wanted right now.
“Hey, man. We’re getting Caribbean food for dinner. Do you want anything?”
“Jerk chicken, perhaps,” I called out, and Blake laughed.
“Funny, but no thanks. I have to hit the club tonight,” Nash said as he stepped around Blake.
“If you change your mind, let me know. See you later, Ren. Love you,” Blake said and disappeared. Nash stood there staring after him before closing the door.
“I’m busy, Nash.”
Flipping the page in the textbook, I stared at the practice phrases, willing them to make sense. I felt Nash moving around my room, tainting my safe space with his essence. It drove me insane.
“What?”
The asshole laid down on my bed. Jesus, give me strength. With his arm over his eyes, he looked way too damn relaxed.
“Earth to Nash. What are you doing in here?”
He rolled his head in my direction, and his ocean-blue eyes locked on mine. The devil himself wasn’t as tempting to me as Nash. I wanted to hate him, but not loving someone was easier said than done.
“Next week the swim team is heading out of state for a meet.”
“Okay, good luck. Have fun.”
“We can’t leave you here alone. It is far too dangerous, so you’re coming with us,” Nash said, and I chuckled.
“Are you serious? This is the most secure place I could be. Why would I go with you?”
Not that I minded traveling with the others. It sounded fun if I was being honest. But there was no way in hell that I was signing up to sit on a bus with Nash for five minutes, let alone however long it took to leave the state.
“Us,” he corrected. “And because Owen snuck in here on Sunday and put a knife to Myles’s throat.” What the fuck. My hands started shaking, and I stood up, needing to move around so I didn’t explode. “So, Myles didn’t tell you. He probably didn’t want you to worry, but Owen came here looking for you.”
My head was spinning, and my stomach churned. That demented bastard came looking for me and had gotten close enough to hurt Myles again. If he touched one hair on Myles’s head….
“Does Dean Henry know,” I asked.
Nash nodded. “I just left his office. He’s making the arrangements for you to travel with us as the team manager.”
“Team manager? What do I know about managing a swim team? I can’t even swim.”
“You don’t need to know anything. Coach will tell you what he wants, and the rest of the time, you’ll be with us.”
Pacing the room wasn’t helping, and I dropped down into my desk chair again. Nash sat up and ran his hand through his hair. Memories of what it felt like running through my fingers surfaced, and I quickly shut them down.
He shifted closer. I should’ve slid the chair away, but I didn’t and instead crossed my arms to keep my hands firmly to myself.
“Look, there’s another reason that I want you to come.”
He licked his lips, and my heart pounded harder. Even when he was looking me directly in the eyes, it felt like he was undressing me. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and bit it to remind myself of the fact that he was engaged to Vicky, of all fucking people.
“Okay, and what’s that?”
“We’re going to California. I’ve put a call into your family. They really want to meet you, and the red-headed wonder you were asking about is very excited to see you.”
“You did that for me?” Stunned was an understatement of how I felt.
“I promised that I’d set up a meeting for you and your family. I’m not very good at saying sorry, but….”
For the rest of my life, I would swear that I had an out-of-body experience and no control over my actions when I jumped from the chair, grabbed his face, and kissed him. The spark between us was, as always, right there at the surface and burst into a roaring flame. I knew I’d need to douse it again later, but not right this second.
From one heartbeat to the next, Nash’s shock dissipated, and he groaned into my mouth. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he yanked me down onto the bed. Nash pressed me into the mattress as his lips almost painfully devoured mine. There was no explanation for the effect that Nash had on me. I’d fought it for so long, but now…now I knew what we were like together.
I gasped for air as he broke the kiss.
“I still hate you.”
“Good,” Nash growled, his hands gripping mine over my head. “I want your hate. You should stay away from me,” he said, kissing a line along my jaw to my neck.
Nash sucked on the sensitive spot under my ear, and my eyes fluttered closed. I twisted my head to give him more room as my entire body shook. My heart and head battled between not allowing this and wanting it at the same time.
“Fuck, you make me insane,” he growled, his teeth grazing my skin.
“You’re an asshole. Stop coming into my room.”
“I am an asshole,” he said. Nash’s breath fanned my ear. “And because of that, I’ll…never…stop…coming…in…you.”
He flexed his ass, grinding into me. I was so close to tearing the clothes right off his body. It was a good thing he had my arms pinned.
“I think you mean my room.”
“No, I mean you.”
My heart stopped. Panting, I glared at him.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone,” I whispered.
“I’m trying, but you’re a fucking witch, Princess. What the hell kind of spell have you put on me?”
“I can’t do this again.”
Lies, all lies. It didn’t matter what words came out of my mouth or how much I wanted them to be true. He could be happily married to Vicky, and I would still crave his touch, his scent, and the taste of him on my lips.
“You broke my heart.”
“I know.” He looked down. “I know, and I wish I could take back every word.”
“But you can’t, and…why her? Why Vicky? Of all people….”
Looking away from him, I closed my eyes.
“It’s com—” Nash started to speak, but the door opened, and we looked over to see Ivy standing in the doorway.
“Oh god.”
Ivy’s eyes were wide, and she was gaping like a fish. There was an apple in her hand halfway to her mouth. She turned around, turned back again, bumped into the wall as she turned away, and hit the door as if she was a stuck Roomba.
“Oh, dear god, I’m sorry. Don’t kill me.” She faced us but with her eyes closed. She was adorable in such a weird way.
“Ivy, it’s fine. Nash was just leaving,” I said.
He let out a frustrated sound and a couple of curses but pushed himself off me.
“This discussion is not over.”
“Yes, it is. We can’t do this again. I told you I hate you.”
“I know, but I don’t care.”
His tone made me shiver. Snatching my chin, he pressed his lips to mine and nipped at my bottom lip. He stared at me for an extra beat before turning to leave, and I knew he was going to continue to push things with us. But why? Yes, I just kissed him, and yes, we had chemistry. He came here with a sweet gesture, but I didn’t get why he couldn’t leave me alone. I’d never be his mistress. He could forget about that.
“Nash?” He looked back at me. “Thank you for setting up the meeting.”
He nodded, shot Ivy a dirty look, and walked out.
I flopped back down on the bed, trying to reign in the frenzied chaos that he evoked. I’d never felt more out of control in my entire life than when he was around me. If I was a computer, then he had infected me with a virus that was slowly eating away all my defenses, leaving behind code that I couldn’t read. Nothing made sense.
“I’m really sorry.”
Ivy was still standing near the door, looking completely out of her depth.
“No, I should thank you. I can’t be alone with him. I don’t trust myself, and as much as I want to kill him…ugh,” I said, holding up my hands in a choking position to demonstrate to Ivy. “He just…ugh,” I growled in frustration.
“So…you never said. Does this mean things went well in Seattle? You haven’t talked about anything. I just assumed nothing eventful happened or it was terrible.” Ivy walked over and sat in my chair while I curled up on my side and looked at her.
“I caved,” I said, and Ivy gasped.
“You and Nash…you know….” I nodded. “Wow, you really did take them all.”
Groaning, I rolled onto my back and covered my face. “I had a weak moment.”
“What I just walked in on seemed like more than just a moment,” she said and bit into her apple.
“It was a mistake.” I looked at her. “I need to stay away from him, Ivy. I never thought I’d ever say that about him, but….”
“I get it. I’ll do what I can to help.” She smiled and took another bite of her apple, making me hungry. “Sooo, can I ask how it was?”
“It was incredible and horrible. I never should’ve gone to Seattle with him.”
“I’m so confused.”
“You and me both.”
She was trying to work that out in her head, but I just didn’t have it in me to explain it all right now.
“What about the Queen Bitch?”
“Nash wants me to trust him, and he says he has a plan. I don’t know if I can. It seems I don’t know much of anything anymore. I always thought school was supposed to make me smarter, but this place…this place has only made me feel like I know nothing at all.”
Grabbing the stuffie that Myles had given me, I rolled onto my side and held it to my chest.
God, I miss my mum.