Epilogue. Baby fever
Tamara, Ten months later
“Is it possible all the men have baby fever?” Krys asks as we watch everyone fuss over Susannah.
She’s snug as a bug in the baby carrier strapped to the front of her very protective godfather.
No matter who comes over to get a snuggle, Varun finds a way to stop them.
He likes having all her attention and I must admit it’s fucking cute.
I did grow a beautiful baby, so I understand why everyone wants a piece of her.
But the last ten months have been exhausting.
Susannah refused to sleep at first and when we thought she’d finally found a routine, it was in stops and starts.
By the sixth month, she was sleeping through the night.
Unfortunately, Patrick and I had gotten used to zero sleep and lay awake in bed mumbling to each other.
Like everything else in our relationship, we’ve made it work.
Patrick skipped the first portion of the Pro League tournament.
Even though it was hosted in India, I would have killed him if he left me right after Susannah was born.
The reason I survived was because he was there to help me and we had him all the way until June.
Then he joined the rest of the team in Europe for the second half of the tournament.
We’d prepared for it and I was glad we had the schedule ahead of time, but I was still doing it alone.
Eventually, thanks to Tessammai and Rachel stepping in, I was able to get back to work while also being mother of the year.
It was still a lot.
It was the toughest month of our relationship and lives, individually.
Especially when Patrick announced his retirement days before leaving for Amsterdam and sports pundits everywhere got off on blaming me for his decision.
It was frustrating at first, then amusing and finally really idiotic.
The media always likes to paint women as the villains and the only thing we can do is ignore them.
Since I knew the real reason behind Patrick’s retirement, I didn’t care what the press had to say.
Even when they called my office incessantly to get a quote.
I never told him any of it though. While he was gone he had three panic attacks that left him exhausted and messed up.
Even after all this time, it’s still so scary to see him shaken up, to know the strongest man in my life hasn’t been feeling himself.
But we worked through it together, then he’d talk to Dominic and be back on his feet.
A week after they returned, Nihal also retired.
It sent shockwaves through the sports industry.
Everyone wanted to understand why these legendary players were stepping away right when the team needed them the most. Both of them refused to say anything and their lack of social media presence helped them avoid the noise.
The months after they got back, they buckled down and got everything set up for their Reach for the Stars Sports Academy.
Nihal and his wife moved to Chennai to finalise everything.
While it took longer than they would have liked, they were finally able to announce the launch before they were scheduled to leave for the last tournament of their professional careers.
Oh and we got married a few weeks ago.
After much discussion and possibly some bribery, Vera and Elias agreed to a big flashy wedding so Patrick and I could keep it simple.
I love fancy things when it comes to the houses I design and build, but a wedding?
So unnecessary. All I wanted was to call the man my husband and not have to spend tons of money on a big party I probably wouldn’t even remember.
So Patrick, Susannah and I, along with his parents and my aunt and uncle flew down to Kottayam and had a quiet ceremony in the church where I was baptised.
We had to spend a lot of money to keep it hush-hush, but it was worth it.
And now we have all of our friends, family and everyone important in our lives in the backyard of our home to celebrate our nuptials.
“Mama! We have a problem,” Varun calls out and spins around with Susannah squirming and giggling in his arms.
I snort. “As godfather, I believe this is part of your duties.”
“She said doodies,” Vikram supplies between choked laughter.
I smirk at the look of panic on Varun’s face and he stares at my daughter like she’s some kind of creature he can’t understand.
Picking him as Susannah’s godfather was certainly the right thing.
She adores him and whenever he’s in the vicinity, she’ll start to squeal.
However, this is the first time Varun’s had to do anything that’s not making her laugh.
Patrick and I decided we were going to enjoy the evening while everyone else took care of our kid.
So between Varun and Vera, Susannah’s able and wonderful godparents, they can figure out how to change her diaper and clean her up.
“Toots?” He looks at his girlfriend longingly as she piles her plate with food and then huffs when she continues to ignore him. I can’t help but laugh at his plight.
“Vikram offered to help!” I call out and my younger cousin glares at me. His attempt to run away is blocked when my girlfriends step in his way. Huffing and puffing, he stomps into the house behind Varun, my daughter still squealing happily.
The only reason we got this house done within my timeframe was thanks to my long list of contacts.
Otherwise a newborn baby and my regular work schedule would have made it impossible to complete anything.
But everyone joined forces—my family, our friends, my contractors and folks from work—to make my dream home project a reality.
It took lots of blood, sweat and tons of tears, mostly Susannah and me, but we got it done a month ago and even now, I’m surprised it’s mine.
Tessammai found more pictures of me and my parents in this house, which I got framed and hung up in different rooms. While my memories are still quite hazy, knowing I have small pieces of them in the place where I’m raising my child means a lot.
Oh and I most definitely got my sex room up and running.
We put in a hidden door that blends perfectly with the rest of the wall so nobody ventures in there.
In the month since we officially moved in, Patrick and I have used the room a lot.
It’s a really good thing I know how to design and soundproof rooms, because we’ve been loud.
I look around the garden and smile at the number of people here.
We’ve set up a buffet on one side and a long bar on another, where most of the guys are congregating.
Elias and his friends are laughing at something on one of their phones; Nihal, his wife and Patrick’s teammates are standing near the food and talking while serving themselves; Nina’s standing with Kaia as they eat and chat.
After all of her scandals, Kaia’s finally gotten her feet under her.
She’s still one of the most incredible cricketers I’ve ever seen and I’m glad Patrick invited her to join their coaching staff; kids will be so lucky to learn from her.
My aunts, uncles, cousins, Patrick’s family; everyone’s mingling and talking like they’ve known each other forever.
And maybe they do. One of the perks of being Syrian Christian Malayalis is we’re all connected in some way or the other.
That’s when I notice my husband is nowhere in sight.
I excuse myself from my friends and go in search of him, smiling when I find him leaning against the custard apple tree at the back.
He’s twisting his wedding ring while sipping on his drink and is truly the most beautiful sight.
Like our baby shower, we picked each other’s clothes and I put him in light blue trousers and a thin striped shirt.
His hair is pulled back in a knot and his beard is lush and groomed.
His lips are curved in a small smile as he watches everyone gathered and I feel so much love for him, my heart presses hard against my ribs.
“Hey, Trick.”
His smile widens when he sees me. “Hey, Lotus.”
I walk towards him, smoothing my hands over the black pants hugging my wide hips. He picked this black lace bustier with a sweetheart neckline for me and I have to admit I look incredible. His eyes trace the shape of my body and he whistles as I reach his side.
“You are a vision.”
“Takes one to know one.”
He slides an arm around my waist and squeezes my hip. “Thank you for letting us host the party here.”
“It’s your house too or did you forget?”
“Just say ‘you’re welcome, Daddy’, Lo.”
I laugh and tip my head back. “You’re welcome, Daddy. Besides, I wanted to show off my husband to the world too.”
He chuckles and tugs me closer. I can see something else in his eyes and I grip his chin to keep his attention on me. “Thinking about the Cup, aren’t you?”
“How do you know me so well?”
“I’m a Patrick Joseph expert, didn’t you know?”
He shakes his head. “I’m really excited about it and can’t wait to bring home another trophy before I walk away. But it’s also nerve-racking since I’ve possibly set myself up for failure.”
“The man I know, the man I married, would never go into something thinking about failure,” I say and he rolls his eyes.
“Is this stressful? Yes. But you’ve done this before.
You know at the end of it all, you’re officially done.
So give it your all. And if you don’t win, you can walk away knowing you did your best.”
“But I wanna win,” he says with a pout.
“Then go win. What’s stopping you?”
“Absolutely nothing, my love.”
“Exactly. And for the record, my collection is looking a little bleak. So I need that medal.”
He laughs and kisses me, a hand cupping the back of my head as I lean into him. Despite my words, we don’t put his trophies and medals on display. We built a safe in our bedroom to store everything and nobody but Patrick and I know the code. I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who ever remembers it.
The sound of Susannah squealing gets our attention and I look over to see Varun grinning at her, his girlfriend by his side.
“Come on, I need some cuddles,” Patrick says, kissing the side of my head. “And maybe later, Daddy can get some too?”
I poke his stomach and he laughs, taking my hand to lead me into the melee.
My eyes roam across the garden and my heart expands.
I’ve never lacked people who love me or family who cares about me.
I’ve always belonged somewhere. But with all these people here, it finally feels like I’m where I’m meant to be. Where everything makes sense.