Reckless Hawke: A Billionaire Second Chance Forced Proximity Forbidden Romance (The Hawke Family Sec

Chapter 1

ALESSANDRA

The tears welling in my eyes make it almost impossible to see the ultrasound screen and the tiny human growing inside me right now.

I swipe at them to try to get a better look, but when it comes into focus—the cherub face and tiny hands and feet—the panic returns as quickly as the tears do.

No.

Breathe.

I swallow back the terrified sob threatening to launch out of my throat as I watch the movement on the screen, then take a shaky breath.

Dr. Brennan shifts the wand across my belly, happily focused on the screen and examining what she needs to. “I know we’ve talked about this before, and you said you didn’t want to know, but do you want me to tell you the sex of the baby?”

Squeezing my eyes closed, I shake my head.

God no.

That would only make this worse.

Make the threat more real.

I open my eyes, but I look at her, not the screen, afraid a full-on panic attack is going to hit me if I peek at my baby again. Somehow, I force a smile even though I want to throw up. “I don’t want to know.” At her slight frown, I quickly add, “I want it to be a surprise.”

Partially true.

She grins at me. “Your Aunt Nora has been harassing me, trying to get the inside info and to see if she can make me accidentally let the gender slip…”

Despite currently dancing along the thin line between a complete meltdown and barely holding it together, that makes my lips twitch—genuinely this time. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. Nora can be persistent. Although, by now, I would’ve expected her to go into my medical records and figure it out herself.”

Dr. Brennan laughs, returning to check whatever else she needs to on the scan. “Well, I guess she could do that, but it would be a HIPAA violation since she’s not your treating doctor.”

I laugh lightly. “You think Nora cares about that?”

Her returned chuckle fills the room, and Dr. Brennan shakes her head. “Probably not. She’s very protective of you.”

That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.

Since the moment she told me I was pregnant, Aunt Nora has hovered over me worse than Jude, Ang, or even Mom and Dad, like it’s single-handedly her job to ensure my pregnancy goes smoothly.

I release a little sigh. “I know, and I appreciate it, but the closer I get to my due date, the more everyone seems to be doing the helicopter routine.”

She sets down the ultrasound wand and takes my hand in hers, squeezing it gently. “I know this is your first baby, and it can be scary and overwhelming, but you’re lucky to have your entire family there for you to support you through this.”

Since the baby’s father isn’t…

Those words never actually leave her lips, but it’s what she means.

Mom, Ang, Nora, even Skye, Dani, and Caroline have all come to at least one appointment, but Dr. Brennan has never questioned where the baby’s father is—either because she’s incredibly intuitive or because Nora warned her not to bring it up.

The tears well again, and I nod.

I am lucky.

I know that.

Their constant pestering, checking in on me, and circling me like military choppers is all done with the best of intentions. But lately, I’ve been feeling suffocated, like this heavy weight is sitting on my chest and making it impossible to breathe.

And it isn’t just the baby taking up space my organs used to.

It’s because of the reality of what having this child means—potentially for all of us. The danger it presents that I can’t even warn them about because merely thinking about it gives me hives and makes me to want to curl into a ball in a dark closet and hide out forever.

Each appointment only reminds me of how quickly the day of reckoning is coming.

Four weeks…

I only have four more weeks before this baby comes into the world and turns it upside down for all the Hawkes.

Dr. Brennan hands me a towel to wipe off the ultrasound gel.

I swipe it across my stomach. “So…how are things looking?”

My due date looms over me, so damn close and foreboding. A dark, sinister danger I can’t avoid forever. I haven’t been able to shake the growing unease as I tick the dates off the calendar—one by one, moving closer and closer.

All I want is to be able to hold this baby, love him or her, and give my child the best life possible, free of any fears or worries—and knowing I won’t be able to do that is already breaking me before the sweet child even enters the world.

Dr. Brennan smiles. “The baby is in a good position, and typically, by now, there isn’t much room for him or her to rotate comfortably, so I think we’ll be good. You’re only a centimeter dilated, which is completely normal at thirty-six weeks, so you’ll likely deliver right around your due date.”

I release a relieved sigh. “Good…”

Because I still need time to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.

The warning Uncle Stone gave me when Kennedy and Cass dragged me to see him a few months ago rings in my head. “You can’t hide who the father of this child is forever, especially if he comes knocking, wanting to be involved in his or her life. Kennedy said you were scared of him. If there’s something we need to know, that we need to be prepared for, we should start doing that now rather than later.”

He’s right, of course.

I should tell them all the truth. Explain what a mess I’ve gotten myself into—again. But I can’t bring myself to put it into words.

Not yet.

It’s too raw.

Too painful.

Too unfathomable that I’ve fucked up this badly.

But at least I have another month to figure out how to get myself out of this and protect the baby.

Right now, none of the options are great: run and leave New Orleans—but I have nowhere to go and haven’t had to survive by myself ever, let alone with a new baby. Or stay and wait for the fireworks sure to happen when I give birth and the shit hits the fan—not good for any of us.

Dr. Brennan waits at the bottom of the exam table. “Do you have any other questions?”

Yeah, any ideas on how to handle a dangerous-as-hell baby’s father?

“Any way to stop the Braxton-Hicks contractions?”

Those fuckers have been plaguing me for months, and I could really do without them on top of everything else. They almost feel like they’re some kind of punishment for bringing this danger into our lives…

She offers a kind smile. “Relax. Stress can make them worse, but other than that, unfortunately, no. However, they’re completely normal. And if anything doesn’t feel right, you’re very lucky to have your Aunt Nora and Pope around. Either one of them could help you, should there be an issue.”

Pope…

I cringe at the mention of his name. That alone is enough to form a tremendous pit of hurt and regret in my stomach. “Yeah…”

The poor doctor has no idea how the innocent things she’s saying are affecting me, ramping up my anxiety and reminding me that Pope is likely here, somewhere in the hospital building.

Unless it’s his day off…but I wouldn’t be so lucky.

I slide from the table and pull my shirt down over my protruding belly.

Dr. Brennan wraps her arm around my shoulder. “I’ll see you again next week, but if this storm ends up hitting us, we may need to adjust a day or two either way from our current appointment.” She squeezes, giving me a motherly smile. “You’re going to be a great mom, Allie. You have a lot of amazing ones in your family to help you. Don’t be so worried.”

Don’t be so worried.

So many people have said those words to me over the course of my pregnancy, then told me that everything’s going to be okay, that I’m going to be all right.

But no one knows the truth.

No one knows the cataclysm I’m about to bring to their lives when we already have so much to worry about with the hotel going up, Satriano still a very real threat, and the uncertainty in New Orleans since Roselli’s murder. Not to mention the potential hurricane the weathermen say may be coming our way.

It’s a swirling maelstrom that threatens to swallow the Hawkes whole.

I push out of Dr. Brennan’s office and into the hallway, releasing a heavy breath and sucking in air with lungs that don’t seem to want to fill. The panic heightens with each appointment, with every inch my belly grows, as each day passes and I come closer to meeting this baby. This innocent who is going to cause so much trouble.

My phone buzzes in my purse, and I pull it out, that relief at being done with my appointment instantly switching to renewed terror as I stare at the message.

UNKNOWN NUMBER:

You can’t ignore me forever, Allie. We need to talk.

Oh, God…

That vise that always seems to be strapped to my chest cranks even tighter.

Ever since the day he came into The Grind and told me we needed to talk about the baby, I’ve been dodging him, avoiding him at all costs. I only managed to end that conversation before getting into the nitty gritty with him because Angelina reappeared at the counter. But that’s only going to work for so long—even I know that.

And right now, if I don’t get out of this sterile, hospital-scented hallway and get some fresh air, I’m going to hyperventilate and drop right here on the linoleum.

I make my way over to the bank of elevators and press the down button, quickly deleting the message from him, as if that’s somehow going to make him go away and fix this quagmire I’ve created.

The baby kicks, almost like he or she can sense the turmoil, and I press my hand over the spot and rub gently.

“I love you, kid, but we’re not ready for you yet. Not even close.”

Maybe I never will be…

It certainly feels like I’m teetering on the edge of a gigantic cliff, about to jump off and hope I can fly when my wings are battered and destroyed. At least for now, I can take an elevator down instead of leaping and hoping I don’t crash face-first into the unforgiving ground.

The doors slide open, and I step into the empty cab, then punch the button for the first floor and lean back against the metal wall, letting my eyes drift closed and tilting my head to try to work out the kinks in my neck.

These checkups always leave me so tense. Even when I can’t sneak in without Ang or Mom or someone else showing up to support me at the appointment, their presence just ends up making things worse. Having them with me, so happy, excited, completely oblivious to all the reasons this baby is going to unleash a tidal wave of problems on the Hawkes, makes my guilt eat me alive the entire time they’re in the room.

The elevator stops on the next floor down, and the doors part.

Someone inhales sharply, and my eyes fly open and meet the beautiful cognac ones I had hoped I wouldn’t see today.

You have to be kidding me.

Pope hesitates a second before he steps into the elevator, wearing dark-gray slacks that hang off his trim hips perfectly, a white button-down shirt with his lab coat over it, a stethoscope around his neck, and a tablet in hand. His eyes never leave mine as the doors slide closed behind him.

We stare each other down, and the elevator drops another floor along with my stomach, the air thickening around us.

After all these years, nothing has changed. The man standing in front of me still manages to render me completely speechless with a single look. And why does he always have to look so damn good—toned, lean muscle moving fluidly under his clothes, smooth umber skin, and those dazzling eyes I always get lost in.

A million questions lie in his gaze—ones he never voices even though we’re forced to see each other constantly at family events. Probably because I’ve spent the last decade avoiding situations like this.

Being alone with Pope Clarke in any sort of confined space is a recipe for disaster…

The cab keeps descending, and his lips part like he’s about to say something when the elevator stops and the doors spread behind him.

A pretty redhead wearing pink scrubs steps in, grinning at Pope as she presses the button for her floor. “Dr. Clarke, I was hoping I would see you today.”

My gut twists as Pope finally drags his eyes from me and turns toward her. “Melody…”

The nurse peers up at him through thick lashes, batting them like a teenager at her crush. “What time are you off today? Maybe we can grab dinner again?”

Again.

My spine stiffens, and my gut twists violently.

Pope peers back at me, and the woman follows his gaze, her eyes dropping to my hand resting protectively over my belly.

“Oh!” Her brows rise. “I’m sorry. Were you talking to a patient?”

Red-hot anger mixes with the kind of raging green-monster jealousy I have no right to feel over him anymore.

Before he can answer, the ding fills the tight space, and Melody glances at the panel above the door. “This is my floor.” Her green eyes dart back to Pope. “Call me later, okay?”

He doesn’t respond before she slips out and the silver slabs close behind her, sealing us back into what suddenly feels very much like a tomb.

I grip the rail behind me, squeezing it so tightly that my fingers actually hurt. Pope slowly turns back toward me as we descend again, his eyes hard and unreadable even with as well as I know him.

“Al…”

I raise my hand off my stomach. “Don’t. Please…I can’t.”

The cab jerks to a halt on the first floor, the signaling ding ringing in my ears like a warning bell to get the hell out of here.

Great idea.

Before he can say anything else, the two huge slabs of metal keeping us in part, revealing my escape route into the bustling main hallway of the hospital.

Averting my gaze from the man who is so damn good at breaking my heart, I hustle around him, my shoes squeaking on the linoleum as I race past the ER nurses’ station without a look back.

His heavy footsteps follow me, echoing through my head the same way his heartbeat used to.

I can’t do this today.

I can’t.

My phone buzzes in my purse again, and bile climbs in my throat at the possibility that it’s him again with another threatening text.

Time is running out.

And I won’t be able to run forever.

* * *

POPE

Allie’s thick,dark hair bobs with her strong, determined steps away from me and through the ER toward the front desk and waiting room. Her short legs might not be able to move her very fast—especially given her current condition—but she is using them to evade me like a thief running from the cops.

Ironic, considering the way she stole my heart all those years ago…

She makes it to the waiting area and peeks over her shoulder at me just long enough for me to see the telltale shimmer in her Hawke-blue eyes.

Fuck.

Her tears always did me in, and time hasn’t changed that.

Go after her.

The voice in my head that has screamed those words at me so often over the last decade begins the same incessant command.

Go after her. Go after her. Go after her.

I’ve ignored it so many times. Talked myself out of it, knowing it was for the best that I stay away and let her live her life without me in it the way I want to be. Watched her slide into the passenger seat of someone else’s car. Kiss someone else’s lips. Stare into someone else’s eyes with affection when it should have been me.

Go. After. Her.

This time, I almost follow the instruction, but Nora steps from one of the exam rooms to my right, blocking my path. I skid to a halt on the linoleum, and Nora turns her head to follow my gaze in time to see Allie dart out the sliding glass doors to the parking lot.

Nora sets her inquisitive aquamarine gaze on me. “Was that Allie running out of here like her ass was on fire?”

“Mmhmm.”

I stare at the doors, as if she might actually come back when I know damn well that woman isn’t voluntarily going to be in my vicinity under any circumstances.

Maybe rightfully so.

But even with her gone, I still feel her presence, the suffocating weight of knowing what she thought when Melody came into that elevator. What she’s always thought of me. What I let her and everyone else think because it’s easier and far less painful than admitting the truth.

“Pope?” Something waves in my peripheral vision. “Earth to Pope.”

I jerk my head away from staring after Alessandra and turn toward Nora, who watches me expectantly with a blond brow raised.

The corner of her mouth twitches into a grin. “Did you hear me?”

Fuck no.

I was too busy obsessing over the woman I can never have. Shaking my head, I run a hand over my cheek. “No, sorry. What’d you say?”

She glances toward the door, then back at me. “I asked how your patient was doing, but you seem a little preoccupied with something else.”

More like someone else.

Shit.

Nora is far too observant for me to get away with that and have her not notice. It’s what makes her so damn good at her job and such a good teacher to me and the others who did their residency here.

Even if I hadn’t worked at this hospital for several years, through my internship and now residency, she would still see right through any attempts I make at bullshitting her. Growing up with her as basically an aunt, she knows me about as well as anyone and isn’t afraid to call me out when she feels it’s necessary.

Some may suspect nepotism got me my placement, but I busted my ass to get here. And Nora never would have given me any inappropriate help since she sure as hell never had any when she went through medical school and all her training. Truly, working for Dr. Nora Hawke is ten times harder for me than anyone else here—and today proves it.

Damn the Hawkes and their ability to unravel people with a look.

I need to get my head back in the game.

My shift has barely started, and I’ve already let Allie distract me from what I should be focused on—my patients. Like the one upstairs I was checking on before I walked into that quicksand with her in the elevator.

“He’s doing well. Settled in upstairs, and he’s on Dr. Pierce’s schedule for surgery later tonight.”

She nods and sets her tablet on the nurse’s station counter before she leans against it and studies me. “And what about you?”

I raise a brow at her. “What about me?”

“How are you doing?”

Her question takes me aback for a moment, and I wrack my brain, trying to figure out why the hell she’s asking. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Her slender shoulders rise and fall, her gaze darting around the ER and toward the half-full waiting area Allie escaped through. “We’ve been awfully busy around here.” Those too-knowing eyes of hers meet mine again. “But really, I was referring to what just happened with Allie.”

I grit my teeth, making a vain attempt at keeping any reaction to her statement neutral. “Nothing happened with Allie.”

Like always.

We dance around each other, each pretending the other doesn’t affect them and going through the motions by rote. Neither of us saying what we want to, what we should. It’s gone on for so long, it’s become the normal routine—an elegant waltz that allows us to spend as much time together as we’re often forced to without losing our sanity. Until someone steps on the other’s toes…

Nora releases a little laugh, drawing a look from the nurse, Zoe, at the desk, who quickly diverts her eyes back to the paperwork in front of her, even though we both know she’s still listening in. “Bullshit. She ran out of here and away from you. And, we both know that girl is hiding something.”

Yeah, like who the damn father of her baby is.

“But what I want to know”—Nora takes a step closer to me and leans in conspiratorially—“is what happened between you two?”

My back stiffens. “I am not sure what you mean.”

“Come on, Pope.” Nora sighs. “Everyone has noticed it. The tension, the way you two can’t seem to be in a room alone together anymore…” She offers a light smack of the back of her hand against my chest. “You two used to be thick as thieves, inseparable when she wasn’t with Jude, or she’d just drag him along wherever you were going. But”—she shakes her head, sending her blond hair floating around her face—“something changed years ago, and it seems to have only gotten worse as you guys have grown older.”

Well, fucking hell.

It’s not that we really thought we were fooling anybody. It would be impossible to do in this family. The way she constantly glares at me, the hatred simmering in her eyes every time she looks my way.

Of course, they’ve noticed it.

But I am not about to get into ancient history with Aunt Nora or anyone else.

I give her a half-smile, one I hope is convincing enough that she’ll buy it and be off on her way. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“But I am worried, Pope.” She scans the ER again, always watchful over her domain. “That girl has been a mess for years, and you and I both know it. Bouncing from relationship to relationship, guy to guy, always getting her heart broken, never giving herself time to heal or be on her own for a while. Now she’s having this baby and won’t even tell anybody who the father is. She is jumpy. She’s secretive. She won’t even talk to Jude or Angelina…”

Which is, undoubtedly, the most concerning part about what’s been happening with her for the last several months.

Jude is her rock, the one person she can always count on to be there for her and the only person she wants to run to when she’s dodging questions from any of the rest of the Hawkes. Now her lips are sealed, even with him.

I tighten my hands into fists inside the pockets of my lab coat so Nora can’t see how truly bothered I am. “I know.”

“I thought maybe you could get through to her, but after seeing the way she bolted from you, I’m guessing that’s a no.”

My frustration comes out as a barked laugh, and I shake my head, rubbing the back of my neck and trying to work away some of the tension there. “Definitely not.”

And now I need to change the subject before she asks a question I can’t dodge my way out of.

I motion toward the TV hanging on the wall behind the nurse’s station. “Did you watch the weather update?”

She glances at the screen where the weatherman points to a cloud formation in the Caribbean. “Yep. The storm that’s forming could hit us on its current projected path.”

Resting my elbows on the counter, I watch the update where he predicts the tropical storm will grow into one of the earliest hurricanes in history. It’s barely spring, and we’re already having to worry about landfall in likely less than a week. “Yeah, we should know in a day or two, I would think. And then we’ll need to start preparations around here.”

“Is it affecting any of your family in Jamaica right now?”

I shake my head. “Dad called all the cousins and his aunt and confirmed they’re just getting a lot of rain. They’ll be fine where they are…it’s us I’m worried about.”

Nora elbows me. “Your first hurricane as a full-fledged doctor.”

I offer her a half-grin. “It’s not like I haven’t experienced it before here during my internship.”

“I know, but back then, you were still learning the ropes. You have more responsibility now as a resident, and I rely on you to be the incredible doctor I know you are.”

I let my jaw drop in mock offense. “Are you saying I was a bad one back then?”

Grinning, she shakes her head. “You’ve always been brilliant. I’m just messing with you. But we need to keep an eye on this. If it hits us directly”—she glances out across the emergency room—“this place is going to turn into a madhouse.”

Maybe that’s exactly what I need.

Something to take my mind off Allie and everything that’s been going on with the Hawkes recently.

There was a time when being alone with her in a confined space like that elevator would’ve ended up with her in my arms and my lips pressed to hers.

It simultaneously feels like ages ago and only yesterday.

I can still taste her on my lips, smell her, feel the way her body molded against mine. After all this time and the emotional distance she’s put between us, I still can’t get Alessandra McCabe out of my head—and maybe I never will.

She isn’t the kind of woman you can ever forget.

No matter how hard I tried to push her away for her own good, to protect her from the mistake she was about to make, all it did was create anger and resentment.

It’s never going to dissipate…and it is going to continue to break my heart every time I see her.

Like today.

She’s about to have another man’s baby, and that knowledge makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn.

But I have no right to be angry at her.

No right to be jealous.

She was never truly mine—not in the way I wanted her to be.

And now, it’s too late for that.

Zoe rises from her seat at the nurse’s station and approaches. “Dr. Hawke, we have three incoming. Motor vehicle accident.”

Nora looks at me. “Let’s go.”

We start making our way toward the ambulance bay, Zoe hot on our heels.

“One has penetrating trauma to the abdomen but seems stable. The second has neck and back injuries which are stabilized. The third is in v-fib…”

Fuck.

Adrenaline courses through my system, washing away the lingering concern about Alessandra. My laser-sharp focus immediately moves to what I’ll need to do the moment they arrive, mentally running through the steps and ensuring I’m prepared for anything that might come through the door.

I’ve spent my life working for this, to become an ER doctor, to help the people who need me most when their lives hang in the balance. The things I’ve missed out on, that I’ve given up…all of it is worth it if I can save someone who might otherwise not make it.

There will be plenty of time to worry about Allie later.

There always is.