Reclaimed Hearts: A second chance, forced proximity romance

Anchored Affections

The second our eyes connected, he rushed in. His face paled, his eyes going wild as he scanned my face, finding only a blubbering mess.

“Marlowe? Are you okay? What happened? What’s wrong?” He raced through his questions while still searching me. Or, as much as he could see, since most of me remained hidden under the covers.

I watched as Reid tore his gaze away from me, stood up straight, his face steeling. “Noodle, Fluff, out. Go,” he commanded. They listened right away, leaping off the bed and scurrying out of the room. He closed the door after them, then turned back to me, his voice softening considerably. “Marlowe? Are you hurt?”

I shook my head and sloppily wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

Reid reached forward, his thumb brushing against my cheek to wipe at the tears still running. I blinked and a few more spilled out. He kneeled at the side of the bed, trailing his fingers down my cheek and holding the side of my face in his hand.

“Mars? Talk to me. You’re scaring me.” His voice quivered just slightly enough for me to catch it.

“I’m fine,” I squeaked out between deep breaths. The moment he touched me, my sobs subsided, but I couldn’t fully catch my breath or stop the tears from falling. My brain didn’t shut off because he came in; if anything, it made it worse seeing him sitting here, staring at me like he used to. Like he cared so deeply, that when I hurt, he hurt.

“Panic attack?” he asked gently, in the same calm, soothing voice he used to when he would try to talk me out of one. I shook my head. Even though I was pretty sure I had at least the start of one at the beach, it wasn’t what was happening now.

But thinking of all the times he comforted me in the past made me start sobbing again. It hadn’t been often, but enough for my mind to jump to each memory, replaying them on a loop.

I squeezed my eyes shut to try to block it all out, but it didn’t work.

A second later, the bed dipped and a taut, muscular arm wrapped around me, the other sliding beneath the pillow under my head. Reid shifted, pulling me close, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Whatever happened, Mars, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered softly into my ear. “I’m here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier, but I’m here now. For whatever you need, my lo—Marlowe.”

That only made me cry harder, but true to his word, he didn’t move. He tightened his hold and buried his face into the crook of my neck, moving with me as my body shook with sobs.

I let it all out—crying not only for the circumstances I had somehow found myself in, but for myself too. For trusting people I shouldn’t have. For not trusting those I should. For making mistakes, when everyone around me had pointed them out. Tears streamed down my cheeks, representing what I had gained and lost in my life.

It was my breaking point, and everything had to go.

Once I had shed all my tears, I attempted to match each one of Reid’s deep breaths, using them to calm myself down. He waited patiently, staying still until I was ready.

When I moved, he loosened his grip, propping himself up on one arm as I turned around. Once face to face, he lifted his other hand and wiped the tears off my face again.

“There she is,” he breathed, a hint of a smile on his lips. “My beautiful Marlowe. What do you need?”

I wanted to talk about how he almost called me “my love” a few minutes ago. How he almost said it the other day. And when he changed it at the last second, it shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

I would do anything to hear him call me ‘my love’ again. I had never heard someone outside of a Zane Hunter movie say it. Every time Reid said it, it filled me with a certain kind of happiness I had yet to replicate anywhere else.

If it was on the tip of his tongue, then he must have felt that way too, right? It couldn’t have just been me.

However, I didn’t want my burdens to be his burdens. He had already told me how I could have done better than Declan. He tried to warn me away, and I didn’t listen.

I couldn’t tell him about what happened earlier tonight. Reid wasn’t an ‘I told you so’ kind of guy, but I knew he would think it. I would have if I were him. Anyone would. The entire island could have pointed to a blinking neon billboard that told me to stay away from Declan Storms, and I still would have been too dumb to figure it out.

Instead, I just pointed to the bathroom, wanting to splash some cold water on my face and see how horrible I looked, how puffy my eyes must have been.

Reid dropped his legs over the side of the bed, then held my arm as I did the same. He walked me to the bathroom as if I couldn’t do it on my own.

But I didn’t hate it. It was so typically Reid that it made me want to burst into tears again. I never thought I deserved someone so amazing like him, even when we were together. He was too good for me.

When I got to the sink, he let go, backing out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

My eyes were indeed swollen. The amber color popped against the red eyes and blotchy skin around them. They looked rather pretty on their own, but the rest of my face was a mess.

I washed up in the sink, then ran a washcloth under the cold water, pressing it into my skin and eyes to attempt to tame the redness and swelling. Most likely, it did nothing, but at least it made me feel better.

All I wanted to do now was sleep. I didn’t have to work tomorrow, so I could sleep in as long as the dogs would let me. Maybe I could sleep the entire day away. If I slept all day, I wouldn’t have to face anyone.

Not Declan.

Not Grace.

Not even Reid.

I opened the door to head back to bed. I needed to swap out pillows, as the one had to be soaking wet by now, between my hair and my tears.

I stopped after taking a single step out of the bathroom. My gaze hit the pillows first. They were both brand new, not the same ones I left on there a few minutes ago.

Then I saw Reid. He sat on the side of the bed facing the bathroom, one ankle crossed over the other knee, his hands wringing in his lap. He looked up at me as I came closer.

The sheer panic had left his eyes, but the worry hadn’t. He searched my face, as if trying to find answers to his unasked questions.

“You changed my pillows?”

He glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. “Just grabbed some from the closet and changed them for you,” he said, like it was no big deal.

But it was a big deal. It was a huge deal. It was a small, miniscule detail that most people would never think of.

But Reid Bennett had never been like most people. He always thought of the little things, always put the needs of others before himself.

That’s when it hit me that he was here. At his house. He didn’t go out with Caleb and Liam and the crew. He came home instead.

It wasn’t because of me, but in my delusional state, I wanted to think it might have been.

“What do you need, Mars?” he asked softly as I turned and sat on the bed next to him. He was significantly taller than me, so where his feet hit the floor, mine didn’t quite make it.

I sighed quietly. Whatever I told him, he would make happen. No matter what. I needed to tell him the truth. It pained me to keep secrets. I never had before. We had always been so open with each other, that hiding something from him physically made my chest hurt.

He wouldn’t judge me. I knew that with all my heart. The only judgment would come from myself, which would hurt just as badly.

“You were right,” I whispered, staring at my hands in my lap. There was no other way to start this conversation.

Reid heaved a breath of his own, his shoulders sagging. “I’m guessing whatever it was, I probably don’t want to be right.”

I opened my mouth to debate that, but he beat me to the punch. “You’re hurt, Mars. Whatever it was you think I was right about made you upset. I have never seen you this distraught. So no, I don’t want to be right. I never want to see you miserable at the expense of my opinions.”

His words were like a knife to my heart. No matter what happened between the two of us, Reid still cared about me. Deeply, it seemed. Even if we weren’t together, we weren’t in love, he loved me enough to not want me hurt.

That’s what he was saying when he told me I was better than Declan Storms. That’s why he was so concerned that I was dating him.

He didn’t want to see me get hurt. It was like he knew what would happen.

And in hindsight, I should have known too.

“I was so stupid, Reid,” I started, a few tears popping up in the corner of my eyes again. I didn’t have enough energy to wipe them away, so I let them fall, each one tumbling into my hands. “I should have known better. I just got so caught up.”

The similarities between that statement and the one Grace made earlier tonight hit me hard. We weren’t so different after all.

I enjoyed the attention. Having someone show an interest in me again made me feel valued. Pursuing Declan even after Reid came back to the island had been a conscious decision. Going to the beach tonight had been out of spite, out of jealousy, out of feeling inferior, inadequate, and insignificant to Reid and my friends.

Most of all, I desperately wanted to feel love again. And though I knew it wouldn’t be with Declan, even from the first moment I crashed into him, my mind deceived me, playing tricks on me and thinking that being with him would provide the same serotonin boost I used to get with Reid.

That was what was on my mind. But they were thoughts I could never express to Reid.

If he told me the same, I would be gutted. Just thinking about him with another girl made me want to vomit. I couldn’t tell Reid the reasons I had been with Declan up until now. Even if Reid had moved on, like it seemed he had, it wouldn’t be right to rub it in his face like that.

So I left that part out and continued on. “It was just… dumb. That’s all. I made horrible mistakes and I’m probably overreacting and—”

“Stop it,” he blurted out. He reached for my hands in my lap, holding both of them in one of his. “That’s not you, Mars. I won’t let you talk about yourself like that. You are not dumb. You are not stupid. Something happened that most likely was out of your control. I’m not going to let you beat yourself up about it.”

He squeezed my hand once, then let go, leaving me feeling isolated once more. I couldn’t make him understand how everything was always my fault. He hated when I spoke badly about myself, and that was all I could do in this moment.

Exhausted, both physically and mentally, I turned and crawled back into the bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and stared at him as he stood, staring down at me.

“He humiliated me, Reid. It was all a big joke that I wasn’t in on.”

His jaw tightened, one hand clenching at his side. The muscles and veins in his forearm flexed as he did. “Who?”

He wasn’t asking for verification. He was asking for confirmation.

“Declan,” I breathed. Just saying his name filled the room with tension.

Reid gave me one curt nod, then stood. “I’m sorry, Mars.”

I could sense the rage coursing through him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as if he wanted to say more, but held back, probably for my sake.

“Get some rest,” he added, before walking away.

Instinctively, I reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back to the bed. He glanced down at me, taking in the tears and my gross, splotchy face, and frowned.

His whole face softened as he lifted a hand to stroke my cheek.

“Can you stay? Please… just stay with me?”