Reformed (Gangsters at War #5)

Chapter Twenty-One

Alessandro

I climbed out of the driver’s seat of my town car, feeling like the weight of the world was now off my shoulders. It might have taken longer than I’d expected to find and eliminate Tony, but it was done now.

A pity his death hadn’t yet stopped the simmering betrayal burning deep inside. I’d trusted that man with my most precious treasure, and he’d damn-well nearly taken her away from me!

I left my car in a private parking bay—blackmailing some of the higher up, corruptible board members of the hospital had paid off—and strode toward the hospital entrance.

I stalked inside and headed straight for the elevators. Stepping inside the first one, it wasn’t until the doors closed that I looked down and grimaced. I should have showered and changed before I’d come here but I’d been too impatient.

My heart literally ached with all my withheld emotions. Seeing Jane lying crushed and helpless while she’d been in a coma had made me realize just how much I loved her.

She was everything to me.

I’d literally killed for her.

And I’d die to keep her safe.

I smiled a little as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. I’d definitely joined my brothers little team of obsessed-beyond-normal-for-a-woman.

Maybe it was a genetic thing.

I stepped out and headed toward Jane’s room.

It was only Evander left in the family now who had yet to find true love. That he’d once found that and lost it meant he had walls around his heart that might never come down.

Clearly when an Agostino found love, nothing and no one could surpass it.

I was literally beaming when I stepped past the soldier I’d placed in front of Jane’s door as a security guard. It wasn’t until I entered the private hospital room that my smile dimmed.

Jane was curled into a fetal position, her shuddering breaths piercing my ears like death knells.

“Jane,” I said in a low voice. I hurried toward her. “What’s wrong?”

She inhaled sharply, then turned around to focus on me, her eyes faintly accusing. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m in a cage with no way out.”

I nodded. I didn’t blame her. “I’ll make arrangements to bring you back to my house. I’ll hire a nurse if one’s needed and—“

“I want to go to my house. And I don’t need a nurse.”

I realized her catheter and intravenous cannula had been removed. She’d really made amazing progress! That she was distancing herself from me was a sucker punch to the stomach I did my best to ignore.

She touched her head with fluttering fingers. “No one can bring back what I’ve lost.”

A sickening sense of doom washed through me, my stomach clenching and my skin tightening. “You want to be alone?”

She glared. “What do you think? If it wasn’t for you I’d still be happily running my business, living the life I love.”

I sucked in a ragged breath, doing my best to ignore a dull sense of shame. Except, she was right. I’d dragged her into my life without telling her the truth up front. If she’d known I was a mobster, she likely would have walked away without looking back.

Thanks to my well-hidden secrets, she hadn’t been given a choice.

Her dull stare moved over my clothes. “Is that blood on your jacket?” she asked, her voice wavering between stricken and horrified.

I glanced down and grimaced. A blood splatter analyst would have had a field day seeing my clothes.

“It is, isn’t it?” she pressed. “I guess Tony got what he deserved.”

“He did,” I answered gruffly. “He tried to take your life. I returned the favor. Blood for blood.”

She blinked, then closed her eyes, as though shutting out the sight of me. “I really don’t belong in your world, do I?”

My stomach bottomed out. I’d always been a selfish bastard, but for the woman I loved I had to now give her a choice. Deep down I’d always known she was too good for me. My voice came out raspy. “If you don’t want me in your life, tell me now.”

Though how I’d find the strength to walk away, I had no idea.

She gaped, her eyes flashing with what looked like a hundred kinds of hurt. “ Now you’re giving me the choice?”

I wanted so badly to lean down and drag her into my arms. Instead, I stepped back and nodded. “I won’t force you to be with me.”

She laughed, her hands once again drifting to the dressings on her head. “I suppose I should be surprised, but I’m not.”

I frowned. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”

Her laugh edged with brittle coldness. “Since when did you care enough to do the right thing by anyone?”

My frown deepened along with a sharp sense of foreboding. “That’s not true. I care deeply for my family...for you.

It was as if she didn’t hear me when she said, “It doesn’t matter. I think I understand now.”

“What’s to understand? You’re too good for me, little sparrow. I’m an underworld figure, a mobster who’s done more bad things than good. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to love—“

“Stop!” she said hoarsely. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.” She lifted her arm and peeled off the bangle I’d bought her. “I think you should give this to the woman you originally intended it for.”

If her rejection hurt like a thousand cat-of-nine tails before, I was wounded beyond compare now. My lungs constricted, making it hard to breathe, spots dancing in my vision. “No, it’s yours,” I rasped. “It was always yours.”

She blew out a slow breath before nodding slowly and drawing the bangle back over her hand and onto her wrist. Looking back up at me she asked, “Did he suffer?”

My heart skipped a beat at her change of subject. “You’re better off not knowing.”

She stiffened, the bruising under her eyes somehow more pronounced. No doubt our conversation was taking its toll on her. “You’re probably right. It’s not something I want to be involved in.” She shook her head, then looked away, pleating her bedcover with her fingers. “I guess this is goodbye, then.”

I wanted to scream denial, to punch the walls until my knuckles broke and bled. Instead I said softly, sincerely, “I’ve always loved your purity of heart.”

I’ve always loved you.

She bit her bottom lip, then glanced up at me. “You were attracted to who I was before Tony took that away.”

Sudden comprehension swept through me, shock for a moment rendering me speechless. Then my words came rushing out. “You honestly don’t believe a few cuts and bruises have changed how I feel about you?”

“A few cuts and bruises?” She gave a half-laugh that verged on hysteria. “I’m nothing like the woman you used to know. I’ve changed inside as much as I have outside.”

“And it kills me knowing that’s happened because you were with me. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

She turned her head away with a ragged sigh. “If you say so,” she said listlessly.

I was losing her— had lost her—and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Begging her to stay with me would likely push her even farther away. It didn’t stop me from grappling to find the right words to say to try and put things right. “You’ve been through a lot, more than anyone ever should,” I said starkly. “But that’s all behind you now.”

“Is it?”

It was clear nothing I said or did now would change anything. She needed time to heal...time to forgive.

I shoved a hand through my hair, resisting a sudden urge to rip out some chunks. “You should probably rest now. We’ll talk again soon.”

It’d give me some more time to work on a project I’d taken on. But not before I burned my suit with its bloody evidence.

She didn’t answer. Her eyelashes were already fluttering closed as I pivoted and stalked out the door.