34. Stella
34
Stella
Five.
Five.
Five Ravens.
No. I don’t think so. That sounds like too much work.
The likelihood of me being able to handle a relationship with five different males is so incredibly slim that the thought of it is giving me hives.
I do not have that many holes.
Unless my ears count.
Oh my Gods, do my ears count?
I didn’t think letting my professor eat me like a snack would result in him being branded with a symbol my subconscious invented when I was a child and tethering him to me.
And yet, when I rushed out of his office, hurt overcame his face as if I crushed his dreams.
I hate to do it. I really do. It’s clear he was actually excited about the prospect. But why? It’s not like he knows me that well. I mean, sure, we’ve been spending almost every evening together as we prep for these dignitary visits, but how well can you get to know someone in a place determined to remove who you are?
And he can’t possibly be okay with sharing me with four other males.
As I stumble into the courtyard between the towers, I’m shocked to see Sia sitting on the low wall, her hands folded demurely in her lap. The gauzy white dress that floats around her gives her an ethereal, angelic look. The half moon reflects on her pale hair as she stares up at the stars with a placid expression.
“Hey, Sia,” I call out. “How are you?”
My heart nearly stops in my chest when she tilts her head to look at me.
Her skin is pasty, with dark purple bruises under her pink eyes. Her smile is subdued and strained. “Hello, Stella.” The cadence of her speech is strange, tickling the back of my brain.
I sit beside her, reaching out to place my hand on top of hers.
She pulls it away.
“You doing okay, Sia? How’s the coven?”
She waves me away and returns to staring at the stars. “I don’t have a coven. That’s against the rules.”
Okay, maybe she’s worried about people overhearing. Technically, a coven needs five members, so she’s not wrong.
But something feels gross about this.
“Right, I forgot,” I say slowly. “How’s Tree?”
“Dimitri is well. How are you? How are your studies?” She turns a slight smile on me. “You really should store your wings, Stella.”
My wings flex defensively, and I fight the bile that rises in my throat.
I’m an investigative journalist.
My mind knows what has happened here. It’d be impossible to deny.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t be surprised. I haven’t fed the coven in weeks. No matter how much I’ve insisted, they’ve been saying they’re fine. They spend less and less time with us.
And now this.
My mind knows what has happened here.
But my heart is rejecting it.
“Are you hungry, Sia?” It’s my last-ditch effort. My hope that there is still a little of the vampire I have come to consider a friend buried in there.
A light laugh escapes her, but it’s empty. “Oh, no. Dinner was excellent and very filling.”
And that’s it, I suppose.
I found the simplynatural threshold. The program works.
A Robert Sinclair success story.
I give her a tight smile as I stand and brush off my legs. “I wish you the best, Sia.” The words are hollow, but she’s too out of it to notice.
I will find out what happened to her.
And I will fix it.
I will restore her.
I thought it was bad before. I thought I knew the devastation that came with this transition and how unnatural it really was. But nothing compares to seeing it happen in real-time.
To have a friend one day and a shell the next.
Where does the spirit go when it is overridden like this? Because for the life of me, I cannot see the vampire I know within that female.
Maybe I do need a Raven because this feels like a point of no return, and I’m not sure I can do the next part alone. I’m about to go to battle with Robert Sinclair and anyone who condones this shit.
Because a simplynatural is simply wrong, and I’m not going to just expose it.
I’m going to put a stop to it.
“Stella?” Ryan calls from his room as soon as I pull my door shut.
“Yeah, big guy?” I slump onto my bed and pull my sneakers off, feeling the weight of tonight settling on my shoulders.
He pokes his head into my room, and despite everything, I cannot suppress my grin. His shy smile and the light blush on his cheeks are a welcome distraction from the pit in my stomach from seeing Sia.
“I was wondering,” he clears his throat and ruffles his brown hair, “would you be interested in having a… date?”
He darts his eye to the floor, avoiding my gaze.
“Uh…” I start, words getting trapped in my throat. How do I tell him I have a case of emotional whiplash that started with tethering my professor to me, potentially for life, who the fuck actually knows, and ended with finding out my friend has become a shell of her former self?
He senses my hesitation. “Never mind. Sorry. It was a stupid idea.”
The Cyclops begins to back out of the room, and I surge to my feet. “Wait!” he stops, his eye filled with tentative hope. “I have had an insane night. It’s not that I don’t want to have a date with you. I worry I will not be good company.”
Ryan crosses the length of my room and wraps his arm around my waist to pull me close. My arms reflexively squeeze him, and I rest my head on his chest. His hand takes up most of the real estate on my back as he gently strokes me. “Do you want to discuss it?”
Humming, I weigh my options. Do I tell him about the revelation of the Raven? I know I need to. No one knows the tattoos down my back better than I do, and there is one with a singular eye in the middle.
It’s a little on the nose, but the chances of that representing anyone other than my shy, sexy Cyclops is slim.
But I do want him to have a choice.
I’m going to have to have this conversation with Clay as well because I feel in my soul that he’s part of this, too. The question is, should I talk to them together or separately?
Weighing both pros and cons, I decide it’s probably best to have these one-on-one conversations so there isn’t a worry about peer pressure, and Ryan can react however feels right.
But now? Is now the right time?
The transition Sia made makes everything feel more urgent.
I don’t know if I have time to wait.
“Come sit with me, big guy,” I murmur, pulling away and leading him to my bed. “We have some things to discuss.”
His nose wrinkles in worry, but he sits beside me, holding my hands within his. He’s quiet and contemplative as he nods for me to continue.
Diving in, I explain to him first what I saw with Sia and what happened so he understands my urgency to have this conversation.
“Do you think the rest of the coven is affected, too?”
“I don’t see how they wouldn’t be,” I reply, running my face across my hand. “They do everything together.”
“We’ve got to figure out how to reverse it.” His voice is hard with determination. If anyone can find out how to reverse this, it’s Ryan. He’s smarter than anyone I know. I’m sure many underestimate him because he speaks slowly, and sometimes it takes his brain longer to process things, but that doesn’t mean he’s unintelligent.
“We will. I think our mission has evolved from exposing this place to overthrowing it. Seeing it happen like that, how Sia was herself one day and whatever she is now the next? We can’t let that happen to anyone else.” My throat tightens. “I can’t let that happen to you.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and hauls me onto his lap. “It won’t, Stella. We’ll figure this out. Together.”
“About that.” He raises his eyebrow but doesn’t interrupt. “How much do you know about Valkyrie?”