10. Raine
10
Raine
I don’t remember anything after Aiden told me he was taking me back to the estate.
Small snippets and blurs of me shifting and sobbing and then being pulled up off the ground and thrown over Aiden’s shoulder are all I can really recall because the next thing I know, my eyes are opening and I’m safely tucked into my bed in my suite.
Had it all been a nasty dream?
Sitting up slowly, I realize belatedly that I’m alone again. Given that the sun is high in the sky when I lean to look out the window, I’m guessing Delilah probably already left to head downstairs for the day. She probably thought I’d overslept again today.
My body feels numb.
Pushing myself up from my bed, I shuffle to the bathroom and flick on the light. My gaunt expression stares back at me in the mirror, dark circles under my puffy eyes the most prominent they’ve ever been.
Aiden. That other female. Walking in on them. Being chased down.
Surely it had all been a dream.
My wolf is deadly silent inside of me, a foreboding omen.
I take a shower to ease my mind, pushing everything back until all I can focus on is my grumbling stomach. When was the last time I ate? Everything is melding together and nothing makes sense.
Did I have breakfast yesterday? Or even dinner?
Stumbling out of the shower, I somehow manage to dry off and wrestle on some clothes before heading downstairs. Strangely enough, there’s no one in the dining hall when I arrive. Staff mill around, some of them giving me odd looks—no doubt wondering why I’m so late in coming down.
However, one of the maids gestures for me to sit at one of the place settings before heading off to fetch me some food.
Gods, what am I even doing?
I feel so lost. If Aiden’s entangled with someone else, where does that leave me? Am I simply supposed to be left to the wayside until he grows bored and comes around again? Or are we both going to have to share him?
I doubt with the way she reacted that she’d be okay with that. Though, it’s not like I would be either.
Leaning over the table, I put my head in my hands and sigh down at my lap.
There’s absolutely no one in this world that I can talk to about this. If I so much as breathe a word to Delilah, she’s going to freak out. One, because it’s Aiden. And two, because she’s protective over me and doesn’t want to see me hurt.
There’s no way I’m going to let her go scorched-earth on our damn alpha king .
The chair next to me is pulled out, alerting me to someone else sitting down next to me. I don’t bother looking over at them, too busy being wrapped up in my own thoughts to feel friendly. Hopefully they’ll take the hint and leave me alone to my misery.
Soon, a bowl of food is placed in front of me. However, as hungry as I am, I can’t seem to bring myself to lift my head and eat.
I never should’ve come here. I should’ve just told Delilah no and hidden myself away in my cabin. Daniel could punish me all he wanted, but at least I wouldn’t be going through this right now. This agonizing heartbreak.
“Thank you, Mari.”
I freeze instantly at the voice.
“Did you need anything else, Your Grace?” the maid from before asks.
“No, thank you.”
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I’m not ready to face him so soon after what happened last night.
Honestly, I don’t even remember all of it. I’d been too blacked out to really recall anything and as hard as I try, it’s all one giant blur.
“Raine, you need to eat. I could hear your stomach from across the hall.” He speaks to me quietly.
Anger suddenly burns in my gut.
Slowly, I raise my head and grab a spoon. The soup in front of me looks downright mouthwatering, which sucks because I have no actual appetite. Still, I dip it into the bowl and swirl the contents around, watching the carrots and tofu kick up.
“Perhaps,” I say just as quietly. “I’d be more well-fed if my mate wasn’t going behind my back and getting with someone right before visiting my room.”
Aiden lets out a long sigh through his nose.
When no rebuttal comes, I pull my spoon back out and blow on it, watching the steam rise. When I slip it into my mouth, I almost moan. It tastes just as good as it looks.
“Raine…” he mumbles. “It’s not like that.”
I take another spoonful and blow on it carefully.
“She doesn’t mean anything.” He tries again.
I want to laugh and cry at the same time. How can he say that when he’d allowed her to kiss him? What would’ve happened if I never interrupted? Would he have fucked her and then come to me and fucked me too right afterward?
My stomach churns bitterly.
The image of him growling at me is something I’ll never get out of my head.
Aiden turns to me in his seat, gripping the arm of mine. “Listen to me. My pack has a lot going on right now. I know you don’t understand and I wish I could tell you about it, but I can’t. You’re just going to have to believe me.”
I’m blown away at the sheer audacity this male has.
Does he think I’m stupid? Born yesterday? Daniel’s always treated me like this, but I expected better from my own fated mate.
I drag my eyes over to him. “You expect me to believe that?”
“No. But I… I need you to. I need you to trust me. I’m handling it.”
“Handling what ?” I say through my teeth.
Now my devastation from earlier is shifting into rage.
What the hell have I gotten myself into with him? Mating bonds are supposed to be simple things—no-brainers. They snap into place and the world feels right and whole again. That is what is supposed to happen.
Not…whatever the hell this is.
He squints at me with a pinched expression. “I’ve…got some… issues within my pack. Some of my…higher-ups are questioning things.”
My brows rise. What is any of that supposed to mean? “You mean your elders?”
“Yes.”
“Questioning what?”
He stares at me for a long while, his jaw ticking, trying to figure out…what? If he can trust me or not? Sure, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that I’m almost a total stranger and therefore my motives may be questionable, but I’m also his damn mate .
Doesn’t that count for anything?
“Aiden.”
“Yes, Raine.”
“I’m not doing this with you.”
His lips thin. “Doing what?”
“You need to give me something. I can’t…it’s killing me. Walking in on that broke me. You have to know that, right?”
His expression wavers. What I said seems to have struck a nerve in him, which is exactly what I’d been hoping for. It’s not fair that he gets to sit there and demand my loyalty when he can’t even show me any of his own.
What kind of start to a bonding is this, anyway?
“Yes. I do realize that.”
“You kissing her… taking her to bed afterward if I didn’t interrupt.”
“I wasn't—”
“Do not nickel and dime me,” I snap. I don’t care what he was planning on doing. He didn’t pull away immediately, and that’s what hurts the most.
He swallows hard. “Right. Okay.”
I breathe out slowly, belatedly realizing my hand is shaking and I’m spilling my soup everywhere.
An alpha king. Of course my bonded mate is a goddamn alpha king. It’s almost impossible to get through their thick skulls.
“Raine.” His voice is soft again.
I stiffen when he reaches out and tilts my chin toward him. His hold on my face is gentle, handling me with the same care he has for this entire time. His thumb runs over my jaw a few times while he searches my face for something.
“I’m sorry. I swear to you that she means nothing. You are who I care about.”
My throat grows tight. “Then why?”
“It’s complicated.”
I shake my head and drop my spoon, waving his hand away from me in order to push back from the table and stand. If I sit here any longer, I’m actually going to throw up what little I have in my system.
He makes to stand too, to follow me, and instantly, I grab at his shoulder and force him back down with an amount of strength I didn’t know I had in me. “ Don’t .”
His eyes widen.
“I just…” I pull away from him again. “Give me time.”
He watches me for a long moment, looking like he’s about to argue with me. However, he surprises me when all he does is nod and settle back down in his chair.
“Okay.”
I spin on my heel and head out of the dining hall, leaving my mate behind to watch me go.