12. Raine
12
Raine
Weeks pass by after I come back from Pollis.
The letter in my hand crinkles as I reread it again, Aiden’s loopy handwriting as comforting as a blanket wrapped tight around my body on a cold night.
Since getting back, I’ve been secretly sneaking into town to send him letters and check the PO Box that I opened up with some of the money Delilah stashed for me when she’d come to visit a few days after we’d gotten back.
“So you can write to your mate back in Pollis,” she’d said with a twinkle in her eye.
I still haven’t told her who I’m writing to specifically, but sending a letter to him was a genius idea that I’ll never be able to thank her enough for.
Getting up to head over to my desk to write him a new one, my body stiffens and a shot of pain shoots up through my hip to my spine.
I’m pretty sure Daniel popped my joint out of place when he beat me after I came back home. That night had been horrible, and honestly, I don’t know how I survived it without passing out.
My only saving grace had been thinking of Aiden and his promise of coming back soon to claim me.
Daniel’s excuses for beating me—or rather, in his words, punishing me—never make sense, and they hardly did that night either.
From what I gathered between his ranting and raving, he was pissed that I’d come back empty-handed with no information for him on the politics of Pollis and their newly appointed alpha. Even if Aiden had told me anything, I never would’ve given it up.
Especially with him being my mate.
It’s taken me almost three weeks to heal from that beating, and I still have pain from time to time. The unfortunate part about my wolf’s healing is that she can only give me so much before she also exhausts herself.
Lately, it’s been like that a lot. Being separated from her mate has made her restless and agitated, which isn’t good for either of us.
A knock at my cabin door has me tensing up.
“It’s me!” Delilah says, rattling the handle before popping it open.
Relaxing, I smile. “Hey.”
She grins. “Hey, you. Got you some food.”
I hide the letter amongst the other papers on my desk before turning to her. I’ll tell her about Aiden eventually. Until I know he’s on his way to claim me, I’m going to keep it to myself.
I trust Delilah with my life, but some secrets need to be kept close to the chest until absolutely necessary.
“What did you bring me?”
“Soup! It’s gotten so rainy and cold out, I figured you could use the comfort food.” She walks through my living room and over to the small kitchenette. “My mom just made it this morning.”
My stomach growls at the memory of her mother’s food.
Delilah’s family hasn’t exactly ostracized me like the rest of our pack, but they’ve definitely kept their distance since my father left. While they don’t exactly discourage Delilah from being friends with me, they aren’t keen on it either.
Still, any ounce of kindness from anyone is something that I’ll soak up until it’s gone.
Within Andromeda, that’s so few and far between.
She sets the pot down onto one of my burners and lights up the fire underneath. “Should take only a few minutes to heat up. You hear back from your mate at all?”
I nod, heading over to her. “Yeah. He’s still dealing with pack stuff. He says that he’s planning on coming to claim me before summer hits.”
“How exciting. Shouldn’t be long now!”
I smile a little. “I’m surprised you didn’t find anyone while you were there.”
She shrugs. “I danced with a few packmates, but no one really stuck out to me. Though, then again, they were all kind of wanting to just get in my pants. So.”
“That’s a shame. You’re a total catch. Any male would be lucky to have you.”
She winks at me. “Aw, thanks, Raine. The same goes to you too, you know? I hope that mate of yours is treating you right. I hate that you have to be away from him like this.”
I hold back a sigh.
It does suck, but that’s life I guess, at least with my luck.
Aiden’s been attentive in his letters so far, so I’m not worried that he’s suddenly forgotten about me. He doesn’t go into much detail about what’s going on with his pack, but then again, that kind of sensitive material shouldn’t be written down and sent over pack lines anyway.
He’s being smart about this whole thing, trying to do right by pack laws and whatever rules he’s bound to as a future king. I just hate that it’s affecting us being together.
Our last night together had been incredible—better than the ones before it, if that could even be possible.
Yet still, I’d left wanting more.
Ever since then, I’ve been having dreams of sneaking out of Andromeda and running to Pollis, where he’ll be waiting for me at the border, welcoming me with open arms.
As silly as that is, I want it to happen so badly that it hurts.
Leaning over to look at the soup as it’s brought to a boil, my stomach suddenly curdles at the smell.
I slap a hand over my mouth in surprise.
What the hell?
“You okay?” she asks, stirring it slowly. “You look pale.”
I nod, feeling uneasy. “Yeah. Sorry. I don’t know why, but the smell is making me nauseous.”
As I speak, I back away from the kitchenette, giving myself plenty of room to breathe. The queasiness barely recedes at all.
“Raine?” Delilah watches me carefully.
Forcing myself down the hallway, I get to the bathroom and over the toilet just as vomit comes up and burns my throat. I gag into the bowl, coughing as the burn makes it hard to breathe.
Belatedly, I feel one hand rubbing my back while another grabs my hair and pulls it away from my face as I vomit again.
“S-Sorry…” I mumble.
How embarrassing. My friend brings me food and I thank her by throwing up.
“Um, Raine…” Delilah mumbles.
I wipe my mouth on a few squares of toilet paper before tossing them into the bowl and flushing it. My ribs ache from how hard my stomach was squeezing.
“Can I ask you something?” she says.
I grunt at her in response, not having the energy to verbalize anything.
“Did…while we were in Pollis…did you, um…sleep with your mate by any chance?”
I glance over at her. “Why?”
“Well…the soup my mom made has root extract in it. And well…”
“What about it?”
“It’s kind of an old wives’ tale, but my grandma swears by it. She says that smelling it can help you tell if you’re pregnant or not.”
My entire body goes still.
What?
“I-I’m not accusing you of anything,” she says quickly. “But, um…were you…?”
My jaw drops open.
Pregnant?
There’s no way.
Aiden…he would’ve smelled my ovulation cycle, right? Alphas are notorious for doing that.
Had I distracted him? Or did our mate bond distract him?
Is that why we couldn’t get enough of each other? I thought we were simply just giving into the bond. What if it was something more this entire time?
My hand presses against my stomach.
“Oh gods,” I mumble.
Delilah stands. “I’ll run into town and grab a test. Wait here, okay?”
***
I pace up and down my living room as the pregnancy test sits face up on my bathroom sink.
Neither of us has been brave enough to go and check it. Delilah’s been sitting on the couch, waiting for me to pull the plug and actually look. I think she wants me to have this moment for myself, but what if it’s actually positive?
What do I do then?
“Raine, he already is planning on claiming you. It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll be over the moon if you come home to him pregnant.”
I shake my head. “This is so complicated.”
“What is? I know he’s dealing with pack stuff but—”
“It’s not just that.” Fuck, what if he’s still dealing with that potential arranged marriage thing? It’s been a few weeks but he hasn’t come to claim me or written about it in his letters.
That has to be a bad sign, right?
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” she says, her voice neutral. “Find out if you’re pregnant first before we start to freak out. Who knows, it could be negative.”
“But the root extract…”
She shrugs. “Like I said, it’s an old wives’ tale. It could mean nothing. Maybe you just ate something bad.”
I nod slowly, wanting to believe her.
Having a child this early into mine and Aiden’s relationship isn’t so much a death sentence as it is a completely unnecessary complication. Not only is he still dealing with his pack, but what am I going to do if Daniel realizes I’m pregnant?
My body shudders.
Actually, I don’t even want to think about it.
Slowly shuffling to the bathroom again, I brace myself for whatever is on it.
It can’t be true. I’m not pregnant.
Wouldn’t my wolf have known by now and told me?
With shaky hands, I pick up the test and read it.