51. Raine
51
Raine
His gaze is intensely fixed on me.
Something flares in me then, a feeling that begins in my belly and spans outward. What is it about Nyx that always has me acting like this? I’m supposed to be playing the demure breeder and keeping my head down, not gaining his attention by boldly exclaiming my real feelings.
It seems that no matter what I do, Nyx refuses to turn away from me. Instead, he pulls me in, poking and prodding at me until everything within me comes exploding out. Like he’s doing it in order to see the real me.
Maybe he is? Maybe this is what he’s been wanting all along.
But why? What’s the point?
His grip on my wrist is tight, but not enough to hurt. His palm is warm against my skin, scorching me like a brand. I want more.
I want…
Oh.
Without realizing it, I’m leaning in—our breath mingling with each other. I’m too quick for him to react, or to even pull away, before I kiss him.
Desire explodes inside of me, having long been dormant since ending things with Aiden. Nyx’s lips are soft against mine, which for some reason was the last thing I expected. I can’t believe I didn’t realize any of this before now—that I’ve been attracted to Nyx this entire time.
But why wouldn’t I be? He’s shown me how wrong I was in prejudging him, and he’s been far kinder than any alpha I’ve ever been in close contact with. His care of me has been subtle but noticeable in everything he does. Why wouldn’t I fall for that?
Not to mention he’s incredibly easy on the eyes.
A hand grips my chin tightly, ripping my mouth away from his.
My lashes flutter open, meeting his own wide eyes and stunned expression. The sight of it has my heart practically falling into my stomach.
Oh shit.
Oh, I’ve massively fucked up.
In my stupid, hormone-riddled brain, I never stopped to think if Nyx is feeling the same way I am. But all of the signs—had I just been reading into everything too much?
Before I can ask him—or even apologize—the sound of someone shuffling back down the hallway has us both ripping apart from each other. I stumble back until I’m practically pressed up against the wall while Nyx grips the side of the bed until his knuckles turn white.
“Here we are,” Eris sings as she enters the room, a small basket looped on her arm. “Your Grace! You’re awake.”
He clears his throat once, twice…a third time, before nodding and sitting up straighter. “Yes. Thank you for your care, Eris.”
She smiles warmly at him. “I have no doubt Miss Raine took care of you while I was gone?”
My cheeks are so hot that my face feels like it’s burning. Instantly, I’m turning my gaze down to the floor while shame wraps around me—the comforting blanket that I’m so used to wearing at this point that it’s like a second skin.
Nyx is stiff as he says, “Yes.”
“Excellent,” Eris says. “Well, why don’t we get you cleaned up and then we can send you on your way. Raine, would you like to help?”
I can’t even look at him, let alone help Eris take care of him. The look that he’d had on his face—I’ll never be able to get it out of my head. That shock that had rapidly been turning into disgust…
I’m such a damn fool.
“Um, I should go lay down,” I mumble while shuffling over to the door. “Pregnancy nap.”
“Oh! Yes, that’s a good idea. You did have quite a long night.”
I nod at the floor, bowing my head without saying anything else and then slipping into the hallway with my heart pounding loudly in my chest. Tears burn at the corners of my eyes while I run, getting out of the healer’s clinic as fast as my feet can carry me.
Why would Nyx ever want someone like me anyway?
***
I really wish I had Delilah here with me.
My stomach’s been in knots ever since I ran out of the healer’s clinic and back to Nyx’s home, where I promptly locked myself in my room for the rest of the day. Not even the promise of food could get me to come out after Rose came up to knock on my door.
What am I supposed to do now that I’ve royally fucked up? I can’t show my face now—or ever. I’m just going to end up starved up here, wasted away into a corpse and bringing my baby to the grave along with me.
Unless…
Unless Nyx ends up avoiding me again.
Moving over to my window that faces toward the town, I watch the Soleus pack mill about on the streets below. Nyx avoiding me, while it would hurt, is probably for the best considering the current situation.
I could most likely convince Rose to bring my meals up to my room to avoid any suspicious glances from her brother, and dodge any questions she has for me by blaming it on my pregnancy.
Hell, maybe I can even stay up here for the rest of the seven-and-a-half months by faking being ill just enough to not leave my bed. Eris will most likely be called to come check on me, but I can handle her no problem.
I can’t believe I kissed Nyx.
I’m so stupid, giving into my desires like that. What was I even thinking? My body had been moving before I could even stop it. I could lie to myself and say that I only wanted Nyx because he cared for me in a way no one else has in my life.
Or even pretend like my attraction to him is solely based on his looks alone.
Unfortunately, I’d totally be lying to myself. But what else is new?
Letting out a groan, my forehead touches the window softly when I rest my head on it. Hopefully I’ll be left alone for the rest of the—
The door to my room is suddenly flung open, a gust of air bursting around the modest space. Whipping around, my hand flies to my heart out of shock.
There, Nyx stands in the doorway, looking furious.
My body instantly presses back against the glass, trying to shrink even though his eyes are pinned right on me. Fuck, he’s here to drag me out of this room and back to the border, already tired of my antics.
Do I blame him? No, not at all. What person who’s been taken in by a pack alpha—no, a fucking alpha king— takes advantage of that in the stupidest way possible? Not only did I overstep a major line, I’d done so while he was injured.
I’d been crying over him possibly succumbing to his wounds and then I jumped him the second he woke up?
Nyx leaves the doorway, the door swinging shut behind him ominously. His steps are slow while he makes his way across the room to where I am, ever the predator stalking his trapped prey.
My heart is hammering so hard in my chest that I’m sure he can hear it too. When he finally stops in front of me, we’re only about a foot and a half apart.
He stares at me for a long moment, not saying anything and only making this growing tension worse.
“N-Nyx—”
“Why?” is all he says.
Why? Why what?
Shaking my head, I say, “Why what?”
His gaze darts to my mouth while both of his brows pull together. “Why…did you do that.”
Oh gods.
Of all the fucking questions he could’ve possibly asked me? It had to be that one right out of the gate?
I could be truthful and tell him that I’ve begun to find myself wildly attracted to him, however I doubt that’s going to do anything but disgust him. I mean, look at me. Pregnant with another alpha’s baby and coming from a lower-class pack with nothing to show for myself.
How pathetic.
“I…” Swallowing, my mouth feels full of cotton. There’s no way I can be honest with him. That’s just asking for trouble.
My eyes widen when he grabs my chin and lifts my head up, backing me farther into the glass while his hips pin me there. My sex throbs with want, his body pressed close against mine, driving me wild.
Even if I wasn’t pregnant, I think I’d still be like this—practically salivating over him.
“Why. Raine.” His fingers tighten around my jaw.
Something flashes in his eyes—an emotion that has me second-guessing myself entirely.
Is that…desire?
The next words come spilling out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Because I want you.”