Rejected and Pregnant by the Alpha King (Forbidden Alpha Kings #4)

55. Raine

55

Raine

He’s gone when I wake up.

I try to not let it bother me, talking myself into believing that he’s been called away on another border matter that needs his attention far more than cuddling me for the rest of the day and lounging in bed without a care in the world.

Except, even as I head downstairs to eat because I’m starving, and Rose keeps me company while chattering on about whatever crazy thing she saw in the human town the last time she went there, I’m left feeling completely isolated.

We never made any promises to each other before or after having sex. It isn’t Nyx’s problem that the second I let someone in like that, I become attached. For him, this could all be a simple case of convenience. I am, after all, his breeder.

Perhaps he’d seen me throwing myself at him as an opportunity to get what he paid for.

“Earth to Raine?” Rose calls out to me, waving her spoon in my face. “Damn, where did you go? Mars?”

I force back a wince and keep my eyes shifted down toward my bowl. I’ve barely eaten anything. No amount of delicious food placed in front of me or how tight my gut twists in hunger, is going to get me to actually force down a couple of bites.

I can’t. Not without it wanting to come back up.

“You don’t look good.” Rose slides her chair back to stand, leaning over the table in order to get a good look at my face. “Wren told me about that fight you got involved in. Are you hurt anywhere? I know Eris checked you out but—”

“I’m fine,” I mumble.

She shakes her head at me. “I can’t believe you were crazy enough to get yourself involved like that. Wren said he saw you pulling some beta off of Nyx while he and that other one were fighting.”

Honestly, it’s all a blur at this point.

The most that I remember—and unfortunately with crystal clarity—is the blood coating Nyx’s face, neck, side. How in the world he was able to pull through like that, I’ll never know. Sure, alpha healing is a lot different than ours, but his recovery was impressive.

Not to mention his damn stamina afterward…

Shaking my head to rid myself of the thoughts, I push around my food with the fork in my hand. There’s no point in dwelling on this when Nyx has made himself very clear by leaving no note behind this morning to explain himself.

He doesn’t need to, anyway. Far from it, actually.

I hate that my mind can’t simply grasp the concept that he doesn’t want me the way I want him to. He has enough on his plate besides dealing with me and coddling my emotions. I’m supposed to be a big girl here, not some female that needs her hand held through every difficult task known to man.

“Are you sure?” Rose asks.

“Yeah. I’m all good. Just a lot to process.” I pause for a second, and then ask, “Does that happen a lot to you guys? The border disputes?”

Rose rolls her eyes. “It never usually gets that bad. That pack alpha has always been trouble for Nyx though. Nothing can ever be done to make that male happy, I swear. We could gift him the fucking moon and he’d find some way to be pissed about it.”

“Guess he won’t be a problem anymore,” I mutter.

Rose grins. “I know. Good riddance, right?”

While I’m inclined to be a little wary of how gleeful Rose looks at a pack alpha being killed, in reality, I’m not. That fight could’ve gone down so much more civilly if that foreign pack alpha had simply tried to work something out with Nyx.

“I guess I’m just surprised. I didn’t think alpha kings had to deal with much bullshit with other packs since our King in the North never really had to.” As much as I know of, anyway.

Aiden was never keen on sharing any details, though it’s not like we were on the edge of war every few years. It seems like for Soleus, and Nyx in general, there’s always something going on somewhere that’s causing undue tension.

How in the world Nyx can even think straight, let alone deal with any of it, is beyond me.

“Wait, why not?” Rose asks. “Does he send someone out to do his bidding for him? That seems a little dangerous, like your wires could get crossed.”

I shake my head. “No, nothing like that. When I was in Pollis, the king was busy, but it was more with domestic things than issues outside of his packlands.”

Her eyes widen. “Wait, have you met the other alpha king?”

Oh shit.

Gods, me and my big fucking mouth. Of all time to spill the beans like this, it just has to be in front of Rose. It isn’t that I don’t trust her with my personal information, however something as big as being involved with Aiden is not something I want passed around.

Especially with this baby.

How the hell am I going to explain to Nyx’s elders that I’m carrying the heir of the Northern King? If that doesn’t start some kind of war, I don’t know what the hell will.

“Uh…actually. A lot of us did. At this ball.” Good, I can work with this. I’ll just spin it off as the ball bringing us into the same vicinity. That’s at least believable. “A lot of the females of age in the North went to Pollis in order to meet the king and potentially match with him to be his Luna.”

“Wait, what ?” Rose is so focused on my story, she’s completely lost interest in her food. “A matchmaking ball?”

“Pretty much.”

“Was it just the king that you could talk to? Or were there others there?”

Shrugging, I say, “Well, there were actually a lot of his single packmates there. A lot of them kept the rest of us company while only a select few were allowed to approach him. I’m sure there are some from his pack that found mates that night too.”

“That’s crazy.” Rose is shaking her head, but she looks completely enthralled with the whole idea of it. “So did you find anyone there? Is that how you met the male that you got pregnant with?”

“Uh…” I mean…technically.

“Oh shit, that’s right. I forgot it was one of your packmates. Shit, I’m sorry, Raine.”

I wave her off, thankful for the distraction. “It’s fine. My friend Delilah met up with some people there, so it wasn’t all in vain. A lot of people attended the event since it was kind of a once-in-a-lifetime deal.”

“True…I’ve never heard of an alpha picking out a Luna that way.”

“It’s certainly…unique,” I admit.

My breath leaves me in exasperation, images of the night I caught Aiden with the female that would eventually be named his Luna flashing through my mind. It shouldn’t bother me to think about his life.

I should be happy he’s found someone to take on the role of a dutiful Luna and future mother of his children. There’s no reason for it to bother me at all, seeing as how he threw me out like a sack of trash.

No matter what I tell myself though, my stupid heart wants to believe something else, with his baby growing inside of me.

Deep down, I hope that he’s miserable and that any child he has with her is nothing in comparison to the one he tossed out. The vindictive side of me wants to show him exactly what he’s missing, but I doubt he’d even care.

Now with my confusing feelings surrounding Nyx thrown into the mix, I’m kind of done for. What the hell am I supposed to do about any of this?

The only thing I hope is that Nyx doesn’t go back to avoiding me. If he does, it may just end up killing me, as stupid as it sounds.

“Anyway.” Clearing my throat, I say, “I was there for a short time but from what little I did see, there wasn’t much strife with the other packs. I’ve never even heard of anything like that from the other packs that I have met before.”

“Hm.” Rose sits back down in her chair. “I find that so…weird. So what, everyone is scared of your king, to the point where no one dares to bring up a concern to him?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Most packs I’ve met are completely fine with him.”

Rose laughs. “That can’t be true. There has to be someone who disagrees with the way things are run.”

I shrug. “Maybe in the future. He’s still pretty new to the throne. Actually, I don’t think he’s ever fully ascended it, now that I’m thinking about it.”

“ What ?”

Nodding, I say, “That’s what the ball was for. To find a Luna and name her so he can take his place as alpha king.”

“Wow,” Rose says. “The North has the most complicated and convoluted rules.”

Yeah, don’t I fucking know it.

Talking about all of this is making me feel restless. Bringing up these old memories of Aiden, no matter how much time has passed between then and now, feels suffocating. Rose doesn’t mean anything by it—she’s merely curious as to how the other half of us lives.

I’m the same way here. Absorbing all of the newness surrounding me can be both intriguing and completely overwhelming, to say the least.

Pushing back from my seat and standing, I tell her, “I think I’m going to go stretch my legs for a while.”

“Make sure you stay within the town’s border,” she says, then grimaces. “Don’t want another creek incident.”

Amused, I say, “I’m sure your brother would be delighted to fish me out of that woman’s backyard.”

“Ugh, I’m still getting lectures for that. Thanks for rubbing it in.”

“Poor Rose. Must be tough to have an overprotective brother,” I tease.

She points her fork at me. “I know you’re making fun of me, but it is. Trust me.”

“I believe you.” Even if I think she’s being kind of ridiculous. What I wouldn’t give to have a family that loves me that much.

Leaving her at the table, I head out the back door to the sprawling gardens. It’s beautiful this time of day, with the sun not quite beating down overhead. The blue skies seem to stretch on forever, a pretty backdrop to the lush greens.

It’s funny seeing how well-kept all of this is in the middle of a desert valley. And why would Nyx even care to maintain it in the first place? There’s still so much I don’t know about him—too many questions that I have yet to find the answers for.

But I want to.

Last night made me realize that this growing thing between us is not some passing thing. At least I don’t want it to be.

A familiar scent drifting in the wind catches my attention, coming from the conservatory. Slowly, I step through the rosebushes and head for it.