Rejected Plus-Size Mate (Honeyville Firefighter Shifters #5)

Chapter 1 - Riley

I stared at myself in the mirror, taking in the messiness of my appearance. I had bloodshot eyes and heavy bags under them. My blond hair looked like straw going in all different directions. I looked like I'd been through the wringer, and I felt as shitty as I looked.

I quickly turned the water on and splashed my face, taking a deep breath as the cold water hit my skin. I stared into the sink and swallowed. I wanted to forget last night, but I couldn't. His words kept ringing over and over in my head.

"Do you have any idea how much I do for you? Do you even realize how much of a pig you look like when you eat like that? And in front of my friends! Are you trying to make me look like a fool? Is that what you're trying to accomplish?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the tears build up again. I thought I'd finally stop crying, but it seems I still had more give.

I quickly shook my head, turned the water off, and wiped my face.

"That's enough, stop crying," I whispered to myself. I pulled my gaze back up to the mirror. "He's right. You shouldn't have eaten the cake. You knew how important that dinner was to him."

Even as I said the words, my lip wobbled. I knew it was wrong. Trying to tell myself I was in the wrong was wrong. But he was all I had. He took care of everything.

I turned, stepping out of the bathroom into the bedroom. The bedroom was empty, and I headed for the living room. I found his jacket and shoes gone, as were his phone and wallet, which meant Brad had left for work.

Last night came rushing back all too quickly.

We were out at the party, his work made their target, and everyone was getting a five-dollar raise. The party was in Brad's honor for nailing everything. He had worked overtime and mooched the money out of some rich snobs, as he worded it.

He gave a speech, and I stood next to him. I'd even worn a nice blue dress to match his tux. I did my makeup and hair to look as good as I could, even if he didn't compliment me. I did everything right. I made sure to look the part of a dotting girlfriend.

Up until I had a slice of cake. I could see the rage on his face when he found me at our table and how he leaned over his voice had changed. "Put the fork down," he snarled into my ear.

I was mid-bite and swallowed. I scanned the crowd, watching a few people smile at us like we were the perfect couple. I made sure not to look flustered as I slid the fork down, biting onto my cheek.

"Did we not just have a conversation this morning about you needing to lose weight?" he asked, his eyes narrowing on me as he slid the cake away.

I licked my lips and pulled my hands into my lap, feeling my fingers start shaking. I held back tears, knowing he wouldn't lose his cool here. He would keep it in until we got home.

"Everyone is watching! And no one needs to see you be a pig."

I clutched my fingers tightly together and nodded. "Sorry," I whispered.

He made a disgusted sound before pulling himself away from me. "I need another drink."

I could hear his footsteps leave, and I was alone once more. People were all around me, dancing and laughing, and yet I felt utterly alone.

I shook my head, pulling myself back. Brad yelled even more when we got home, and then he went to bed, and I cried. I cried well into the early morning before I crawled into bed. I didn't sleep. I just lay there staring at the ceiling, feeling disgusted with myself.

I walked towards the cabinet, needing some Advil to help with the headache. Even if I felt shitty, there were things that needed to get done. Laundry, cleaning, and starting dinner before Brad got home a little before three.

I poured myself a glass of water and popped two Advil into my mouth. I swallowed when I heard my phone ringing, cringing at the noise.

I turned, spotting it still sitting on the couch where I left it last night. I walked over, seeing it was April, my best friend. But I couldn't talk to her right now. I would fall apart.

I ignored the call and went to start the laundry. I could hear my phone ringing again, but I continued to ignore it until I heard the knock on the front door twenty minutes later.

"Riley! You open this door right now." April's voice broke through the silence, and I frowned.

"Shit," I grumbled under my breath. I walked over to the door and opened it. April stormed inside with two cups of coffee.

"You will not believe the night I had last night! And you ignored my calls, giving me no choice but to come over here and make sure you're still alive."

My eyebrows rose as April walked straight to the couch, throwing herself on it. She set a coffee down and leaned back. "He's cheating on me."

My mouth dropped open, and I didn't have words. I rounded the couch and walked towards the opposite couch. "Wait…..Ivan?"

April nodded her head, fury willing her face. "Yep! I came home last night, and the bastard had another woman with him in our bedroom! Our bedroom! Jesus fuck! I almost fucking murdered him."

I was stunned and just stared at her. Suddenly, last night felt like it was gone. My problems weren't as terrible as April's.

"Wow," I said, not having more words. “I…wow…I don't know what to say."

"I'm going to murder him with my two hands," she snapped back, her lips curled up slightly as she bared her teeth. "It was Catherine! Of all the people, he was fucking her! I mean, like fuck! She is the biggest whore in the pack."

April paused, and then her face went white. "Oh my god, I need to get an STD test."

I waved my hands and walked towards her. "Okay, hold on a second. Are you…and forgive me for asking this, but you're sure? Like…. you've seen him…you caught him in the act. You witness this?"

April looked hurt, and she slowly nodded. "I know the sounds he makes when he's having a good time. I thought he was just jerking one out when I got home. So, I figured I'd go join him."

I frowned. "I'm sorry, April."

April took a sip of her coffee and shook her head. April then looked at her, and her eyebrows scrunched together. "Not to be rude, but you look like shit. What the hell happened to you?"

I swallowed, wishing just to forget last night. I wanted to chalk it up to Brad just having a bad night, but it seemed there were many more of those days than good days.

"I'm…." I didn't know what to do or say, but April, of all people, knew me. She knew all my secrets. She knew all my fears. She knew everything.

"I'm unhappy," I said, reaching out and taking the extra coffee. I took a deep sip of it. I smiled, enjoying the taste of the creamer that April knew I liked.

She was silent for a moment before she looked around the apartment—the space I'd lived in with Brad for over a year now—the space that should have felt like home but didn't. It wasn't my home. It was his. Everything was his taste. Everything was what he wanted.

"We need a vacation," she said, breaking the silence. "Away from all of this. Away from the pack."

I couldn't help but laugh. That wouldn't happen. April couldn't afford to leave work for a vacation, and Brad would throw a fit if I disappeared. His daily agenda would be out of sync.

"That's a thought," I said, looking outside the window. I took in the view. We lived on the fourth floor of an Upper East Side apartment. The view of the pack was breathtaking, or at least I used to think it was. I always thought it made me feel safe, but now, it feels more like a cage. I could see all the way to our borders, knowing I would never get past them.

"I'm serious, Riley. When was the last time we did that?"

We were fresh out of high school when we took a trip the summer before college. We wanted to do it each summer, but life got in the way. April found her husband, and I found Brad.

"April, we can't. You have work, and I…"

"Am unhappy," she said, repeating my words back to me. "Brad can survive without you, and I can just take time off. I need this. You need this."

"And where would we even go?" I asked, tilting my head. "Did you even think that far?"

"We could go see Cayden."

I frowned. Cayden was her older brother. I hadn't seen him since we were in high school, and I didn't know when April last saw him. Cayden left the pack eight years ago, and she knew April hadn't forgiven him for it. Yet, she wanted to visit him.

"Have…you spoken with your brother lately?"

April shrugged. "We speak on occasion, but not for a while."

"And you want to visit him?"

She shrugged again. "I'm hurt…and maybe my brother can help."

I remembered how close they used to me. And how protective Cayden was about her. About us both, actually. But was he the same person he was before? It had been eight years, and he'd never returned once. Never tried. If he had, April would have told me about it.

"And you need this," April said, scanning her face. "I don't know what's going on or why you look like this, but I know you need this break as badly as I do."

I felt tears build up, and April frowned at me; an expression of hurt filled her face. "Riley, what happened?"

I felt utterly destroyed. How did I end up here? How did I go from a happy, life-filled person to someone who didn't know who she was anymore? I had lost track of what I wanted in life so long ago that I couldn't even remember. My life had become so small, with laundry, dishes, and smiling like everything was okay.

"I don't know who I am anymore," I whisper. "I…I do everything for him. I behave a certain way for him and…I…I don't feel like a person anymore."

April swallowed. "You didn't tell me you felt this way."

I looked away, taking a sip of my coffee. "Because I've been denying it. I've….been trying to accept this life. Accept this…" I didn't finish the sentence.

April frowned. "Then we need this. We need this vacation."

I nodded because, deep down, I did. Deep down, I knew I needed this more than anything.

"Okay, a vacation then."