Chapter 11 - Riley
I wiped down the counter, making sure I cleaned everything up. I had made myself a big breakfast because April was supposed to be back, but she would be gone longer than expected. So I ate it alone.
I could have called Cayden to join, but I decided against it. I enjoyed my alone time, and it gave me time to clean some things up since I was going to be leaving the house in a couple of days anyway.
I looked over at the checklist the owner left and saw what she wanted to be done before leaving. It was simple chores you'd expect when renting a space out for a while. It consisted of cleaning the bedding, wiping down the counters, and taking out the trash.
I looked at my phone, thinking about Brad's call. It still made me feel off. What was I going to do?
And why did it feel wrong? What was I even going to do when I returned to the pack? He was likely going to make it look bad for me. And there was nothing I could do to stop that.
But did I even want to go back? If I was being honest with myself, this place felt more like home than that one did. I felt free here. But that's how a vacation was supposed to feel. Eventually, you would have to come back to reality, and my reality was a hot mess.
I scowled as I chewed on my lip, unsure of what to do. I glanced back at my phone, knowing at least one person would understand.
I called April, who answered on the third ring. "Hey, chick. How's the vacation?"
I couldn't help but smirk as I leaned onto the counter. "It's actually really good. You wouldn't know, seeing as you abandoned me here."
"Oh, shut up, I did not abandon you. If I had, you wouldn't have had a fully stocked fridge and booze to last days."
I snorted. She wasn't wrong. The fridge had been stocked, but the booze hadn't been for me. It was for her, which I hadn't touched.
"Has my brother been treating you nicely? His ass better has, or I'll castrate him."
I rolled my eyes. "You're brother has been nice. He's always nice. You just don't want to see it because you're still pissed he left the pack."
April went silent for a moment, and I realized I had said the words we weren't supposed to say. We spoke about her brother leaving all those years ago, and then we never did again. We both knew he had a good reason, even if we didn't know entirely what it was.
"Sorry," I said.
"It's fine. But seriously, have you been having a good time? I'd hate for you to have gone down there, and it sucked."
I couldn't help the smirk that pulled at my lips. "I've actually been having a good time. I have spent some much-needed time watching TV and catching up on shows. I went to their winter festival and met your brother's friends. By the way, that photo I sent you is my new screen saver."
April laughed. "Mine too! At least for the next couple of weeks."
"We had some good food, and he's been checking on me. So, I've been having a good time down here." I fell silent for a moment, knowing the next question. "How is it down there?"
April was quiet for a long moment before she sighed. "Could be better. We've been fighting. Well, actually, I've been screaming, and he's been silently begging me."
I frowned. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really. I really just want to be done. I don't want to fight. I don't want to talk. I want to wipe my hands of this and move on."
I wanted to tell her that wasn't realistic, but who was I to say those words? I was doing the same thing with Brad. I was running away, avoiding the problem and hoping it would just disappear.
I knew it wasn't going to continue. I would have to eventually return and deal with the mess that was waiting. But April's was different. She was married. There was a dividing of assets and money. April's family had money, and her husband wanted to hang onto that, so he likely wasn't giving up even if he'd been the one in the wrong.
"Besides that, how is everything?"
"The same," April sighed, sounding annoyed. "Everything is the same here."
I pushed off the counter and turned to the fridge. I leaned back, chewing on my lip.
"You've gone quiet. What's wrong?"
I half laughed and sighed. "I've just been thinking about what I'm going to do when this trip is over."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." I paused, unsure if I wanted to voice my concern, but I had to. I mean, what am I doing with my life? Do I come back? And if I do, what do I do? Everyone loves Brad. And if I don't go back? Where would I go? Could I stay here?"
"Do you want to stay there?"
That was just it. I didn't know what I wanted, and as the vacation approached the end, I became more unsure. "I don't know what I want."
This was the first time in a long time that I was making a decision for myself. Every holiday, every vacation, every day, Brad made the plans. He decided everything, and I had no say in anything. And for so long, I just accepted it.
"Well, maybe start thinking about what you want," April said. "No one can do that for you."
I started cleaning, hoping it would give me something to do. I was just setting the last pan onto the drying rack when there was a knock at the door. I wiped my hands into the dish towel and walked over, pulling the door open.
Cayden stood at the other side, wearing a workout outfit. My eyebrows went up, taking in a shirt that left little to the imagination. He was ripped, and it took my breath away for a moment.
"Hey, are you busy?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
"I'm just finishing some dishes, so not really."
He smiled, and I felt my heart skip a beat. "How does a run sound?"
"I ran this morning," I said with a shrug.
He shook his head. "No, a run. Out in the woods."
I suddenly grew eager. "Do you mean in wolf form? You mean going for a run in shifter form?"
He nodded. "The weather is perfect for it, and I need to stretch myself out. I figured you'd want to go."
"Yes!" I practically yelled the word giddy with excitement. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd shifted and gone out. I pushed her down so far some days, I thought she was gone.
"Do you need to change?"
"No," I said, throwing the dish towel onto the counter. "Just let me grab my shoes."
We were in Cayden's car within five minutes. I sat in the passenger seat, practically bouncing with joy as he drove us to the edge of town right where the woods were.
"You're excited," he said with a smirk. "Has it been a while?"
I didn't want to admit that it had been months. Everyone always talked about going at least once a week, but I didn't. Brad made me feel so out of my body that I didn't want him to know my wolf form. I was afraid of what he'd say about her.
We parked at the edge, and suddenly, I realized we would have to undress. Cayden seemed to have thought of that and had already started down a pathway.
"We have a changing area made out a few feet into the woods."
"Really?" I said, a little surprised.
Cayden nodded. "We have a lot of travelers and young kids who like privacy. And we had a lot of girls complaining that they were sick of ripping their clothes."
As we walked, I looked at some huts. They were large, but it was clear they were built for changing. The doors were wider, and there were no windows.
I slipped into one and stripped down quickly, folding my clothes and putting them aside. I then closed my eyes, allowing myself to shift.
Once I opened my eyes, I could see through them differently. They were hyper-focused, and I could hear the sound of animals around us. And I could hear Cayden's wolf outside.
I slipped outside, and he was sitting waiting just a few feet away. He had almost black fur and soft brown eyes. Even in his wolf form, Cayden was built. I suddenly felt out of place, knowing my wolf wasn't fast or bulky.
"Ready?" Cayden asked with a purr in his voice.
"I won't be fast," I chimed back, hoping I wouldn't embarrass myself as I tried to stretch my muscles. I felt stiff, but I knew I would adjust.
I could hear him laughing in my head. "Neither will I."
I didn't know if he meant it because he didn't want me to feel worse or if he really wasn't going to, but either way, I appreciated it.
We started down the road, and as we moved, I felt my muscles relax and got into it. We were running around trees and up and down hills. The wind felt wonderful in my fur, and my wolf pushed harder, running like it hadn't in forever.
"For someone that didn't want to run, you're really setting the pace here." Cayden chuckled, keeping up with me.
I smiled internally, unable to hide my glee. I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this. The last time, I felt so free. I don't think Brad had ever gone out running with me like this.
Cayden moved closer, shoving his wolf against mine gently. I shoved back, knocking him sideways.
Cayden's eyes widened in shock, and I growled tauntly at him.
I watched as Cayden got his footing. "You're going to regret that." He charged at me, and we rolled down the hill.
I laughed, shifting into my human form. My body collided with his, and our laughter filled the space.
"You mean," I chucked, "you just shoved us down a hill."
"You started it," he laughed back.
I suddenly realized how we looked. I had landed on him, and I was naked. We were both naked, and parts were close to touching.
My body grew hot, and I swallowed, feeling my throat growing dry. It seemed Cayden realized the moment as well, and he froze.
If there were a moment to make a move, this would be it. I felt that tug, an ache just to let him have me.
And suddenly, as quickly as that moment entered my mind, I realized how bad this was. As amazing as it would be to see Cayden naked, he would see me, and I couldn't have him cringe again. I didn't want to ruin the fun we were having.
"Can…you turn around?" I asked, trying to wiggle myself up.
I could see disappointment flash in his eyes, and he moved, turning away from me. I felt the embarrassment sink in, realizing we were god knows how far away from our clothes, and we were both ass naked.
"We should head back," I said, shifting back into my wolf form. I ran before he could answer but knew he was hot on my heel. Once we were back at the hut, I changed into my clothes.
I waited for Cayden by his car, unsure of what to say. When he came out, it seemed he didn't know what to say either. I chewed on my cheek as he drove us back, not sure where this left us.