Relinquish

Chapter Seventeen

Lola

‘I’m glad I never met him.’ Nice. He’s like all the other guys. Brad was the first. When he found out who my father was, he’d dumped me for a nice, uncomplicated girl whose parents were teachers.

Then there was Garrett, my last boyfriend. He’d been fascinated by the concept of dating a congressman’s daughter–until my dad and brothers showed up at my dorm. One of my roommates spilled the beans that I had a boyfriend, so they’d come as a team to interrogate him. He’d managed to make it through the first fifteen minutes, and then, he’d excused himself to use the restroom. I’m still not sure how he got down to the bottom floor. My dorm room was on the fourth level. That was the last time I saw him. The asshole even changed his entire class schedule around to avoid me.

It doesn’t matter. In a few days, I’ll adopt Sam and bring him home. I don’t need a man in my life. To keep from eavesdropping on Cade’s conversation, I stash my files in my cubicle file cabinet.

After a few moments, he walks back to my upstairs workspace with the phone still next to his ear. “Good. So, we can expect you to be back in the office tomorrow afternoon?” Several seconds pass before he says, “Sounds great. Glad everything worked out. I’ll see you then.”

He slides the phone back into his pocket. “That was Truman. They had a successful extraction, and he should be back in the office tomorrow afternoon.”

“Wonderful. I’m glad everything worked out.” With Mr. Truman back in the office, I’ll share my plans with him before returning home. I glance at my watch–7:00 p.m. Shit. “I need to get out of here. I’m meeting Rachel tonight. She’ll be relieved to hear her uncle is safe.”

“Do you need a ride home?”

“No. I got my car back. It’s as good as new.” I cringe. “Or as good as it gets with that vehicle.”

“I know you don’t need me to walk you to the parking garage, but I’ve already closed up for the night, so I’m headed that way.”

I grab my purse off the hook and sling it over my shoulder. I can think of a dozen reasons why I shouldn’t spend more time with him, but none of them seem to wander their way out of the haze in my brain. “Sure, why not.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

When we reach the door, he holds it open for me. “I know I haven’t said much about my family. It’s kind of hard to describe my childhood.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and walk beside him to the elevator. I’m too afraid to say anything and ruin the moment.

He pushes the ‘Down’ button. “My father walked out before I was born, so I never knew him. That left my mom on her own to provide for both of us. She’d gotten pregnant during her senior year of high school, so she wasn’t able to graduate.” The door opens, and we step inside. “My grandparents disapproved of the relationship and made her choose between them or my father. She obviously made the wrong decision. Later, I think they probably would have taken her back, but she was too proud. Being without family and no education, she was only able to find minimum wage positions as a housecleaner and a couple days a week as a waitress.” The elevator jerks into motion, and we descend toward the lobby.

Maybe that’s why I feel such a strong connection to him. We both grew up with single parents. “It sounds like she was determined to provide the best she could for you.”

He nods. “She was a hard worker, and I was alone a lot when I wasn’t in school. During that time, we didn’t have a lot, but we did okay. Then the bottom fell out of everything.”

The doors slide open, and we step into the lobby. I’m careful to keep enough distance between us that we don’t touch. I don’t trust myself around him. “What happened?”

“When I was in my early teens, my mom got sick and was only able to work as a waitress. Obviously, with the kind of work she was doing, she didn’t have health insurance.” He shoves his hands into his pockets, stops in the middle of the lobby, and stares at the floor. “She got weaker as the months passed until she couldn’t work at all.”

“How awful. What happened?” The slump of his shoulders is a clear indication that the weight of the world is on his back. I grasp his bicep but don’t say anything else as I wait to see if he’s going to say more.

He steps back, causing my arm to drop to my side. “Let’s go outside.” He tips his head to the security guard.

“Okay.” I nod and follow behind him. When we reach the airlock, we flash our IDs.

Once we’ve been identified, we’re allowed to pass through and exit the building. The cool evening air wafts around us as the sun dips low into the western skyline, leaving streaks of pink and red to highlight the setting sun.

“Like I said.” I jump when he speaks. “She didn’t have health insurance, and by the time she went to the doctor, she was so frail. They discovered she was in the late stages of colon cancer. It was only a few months until she passed.”

“Oh, my God, Cade. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe both of our mothers died of cancer.” I grab his hands. Our pasts are so different, yet so similar–it’s eerie. We stand face to face on the pavement as a couple of cars pass by. “What did you do? Where did you live? With your grandparents?”

He shook his head. “No, my grandparents were no longer living by then. They’d been older when my mother was born, so by the time she died, they were gone. Hell, they might not have taken me anyway. I ended up staying with a woman I’d met right as my mom was getting sick. She helped me take care of my mom when she was at her worst. Stella is an amazing woman. I don’t know what I’d have done without her in my life.”

He squeezes my hands, lets them go, and we walk to the parking garage. “She sounds like an angel. You were lucky she came along when you needed her.”

“You’re right. A lot of the time, I focused on how rough things were for us and how alone I was after she was gone, but it would have been devastating if I didn’t have Stella, Tyrone, and Daniel in my life.”

“Tyrone and Daniel?”

“You remember Tyrone is Sarah’s fiancé?”

“Yes.” So, Sarah’s fiancé is more than a friend of Cade’s. They’d obviously spent several years together as a family.

“She adopted them, and I lived with her as her foster son until I turned eighteen and was able to join the military. As soon as I was able to provide for myself, I thought it was appropriate to leave.”

“That’s me back there.” I point to the back row of the parking garage. He continues to walk beside me until we reach my car.

How did we get here so quick? I don’t want to end the conversation because I’m afraid he’ll never open up like this again. The more I find out about him, the more fascinating I find him. He worked hard to become a man worthy of respect. And although he doesn’t need my approval, I’m proud of him.

“I’m sure they didn’t consider you a burden.” Why did I have to make plans with Rachel? I want to stay here in the cold, graffiti-filled garage and learn everything about him. “Thank you for walking me to my car and for telling me a bit about your past. I’m embarrassed that I’ve bored you with my story of how rough it was to grow up in a home that had everything. You must think I’m a spoiled brat.”

I boohooed about having a chauffeur, a cook, and a gardener while he’d lived with a family he’d barely known after his mother had died. I pull the keys out of my purse and push the button to open the lock.

“Don’t feel bad. I wouldn’t have wanted to live under a microscope as you did.”

I lean against the metal door, facing him. The heat from his body permeates the chill of the air. When his gaze dips to my mouth, my stomach flips. To combat the nervous energy zipping through me, I chew on my bottom lip. Is he going to kiss me? Do I want him to? That’s a stupid question. Of course, I do, but will he? “I’m sorry, but I need to go. Rachel will be waiting for me.”

He rubs his thumb along my jawline, and I forget to breathe. “Thanks for listening. I don’t ever share that part of my past with anyone, but with you, it felt good to talk about it.”

I shove off the car and step toward him. The pull to him is almost magnetic. “I’m glad it made you feel better.”

His pupils dilate as he inhales. “Do you want to know what would make me feel even better?”

“What’s that?” I place my hands on his chest and feel the solid, rapid thudding of his heart under my fingertips.

“Maybe I should show you.” As his head dips down, I stand on my tiptoes and meet his lips. The first soft brush of his mouth against mine made my sex swell with anticipation.

I run my hands over his chest and into his hair. The sensation of his hair brushing against my fingertips makes my knees wobble, and the outside world fades to emptiness–no more whooshing of the tires from the street or the smell of exhaust. As I inhale the scent of his cologne, the only thing that registers is him.

When his tongue sweeps inside my mouth, I moan and thrust mine against his. His hands slide along my waist, and I arch my back, allowing my belly to press against his hard cock. God, it feels like heaven being in his arms. He’s hard. Strong. Perfect. My eyes flutter behind my eyelids, and I moan–again.

He nips my bottom lip. “If you keep moaning like that, you won’t be meeting Rachel.”

I slowly open my eyes to focus as the world rushes back into focus. The parking garage is nearly empty, and a car door on another floor slams shut. I drop my arms to my sides and lick my lips. “You have a point. I’d better be going.” I soak everything about him into my brain–everything from his green eyes to his dark hair. If this is the last time I’m this close to him, I want to remember each detail. I need to go before I fall so hard I crash and can’t put the pieces back together.

He takes a step backward, but his gaze never leaves mine. “Would you be interested in going out with me sometime? I understand we come from different backgrounds, and your family would hate me, but when I’m with you, I feel a connection that I haven’t felt in–well ever. And there’s some smoking hot chemistry between us.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Yeah, when I’m with you, it feels like someone has doused me in kerosene, and you’re the match.”

“We’re friends, right?”

“Sure.” I swallow. What does that mean? He wants to go out as friends?

He cocks an eyebrow and grins, making the dimples pop and the butterflies in my belly flutter. “So, friends with benefits?”

Wonderful. So much for happily ever after. I’ve managed to move hundreds of miles away from my family, and I still can’t have a serious relationship. Can I settle for friends with benefits? Being in his arms seems to make me lose my grasp on reality. I’ve never considered a fling before, but what a scorching hot fling it would be.

I shudder. Maybe he could grow to care for me and eventually be willing to stand up to my family. Can I settle for a physical connection for now and hope for something more? What if it destroys me?

***

Cade

I shove my hands into my pockets as it takes all the willpower I have not to pull her back into my arms. Hopefully, the out I gave her keeps her from feeling like she must choose between her family and me.

My mother chose a man over her family and lost them forever. Sadly, they were right. My father was bad news, and she’d been too stubborn to admit it and make peace with them. If I weren’t that same wrong choice, I’d fight for a chance to have a future with her. She’s a strong, confident woman who deserves a man who can give her things I’ll never provide.

When she doesn’t answer, sweat breaks out on my palms. Just say, ‘No.’ It’ll be easier for both of us. The possibility of spending more time with her is both intoxicating and devastating. A few weeks ago, I would’ve never thought I’d consider her a friend. What will a couple more weeks bring? What happens if I fall in love with her and can’t let her go?

She licks her lips and places her hands on my forearms. “When we first met, I didn’t think we’d get along. We seemed to have different viewpoints on everything.”

“We started off on the wrong foot, but you’re nothing like I thought you were. I expected you to be a spoiled diva.” I remove my hands from my pockets.

“My tiara is currently at the cleaners.” One corner of her mouth raises. “And you’re not the cold-hearted, know-it-all asshole I believed you were.”

“You were getting into the middle of stuff you had no business getting into, and you could have gotten hurt. And where you live is a little…” I cringe.

She frowns, drops her hands to her sides, and crosses her arms. “You didn’t just lecture me on what you don’t like about me seconds after asking me out, did you?” Her eyebrows arch. “And if we’re critiquing each other, you’re a tad too rigid and need to loosen up a bit.”

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m giving you friendly suggestions.”

“Well, here’s some unsolicited advice. Mind your own business. I’m done with men that try and tell me what I can and can’t do and when I can and can’t do it. Even from a friend who wants benefits.”

Am I trying to cockblock myself? If there was a photo on the web next to the word asshole, I’d likely be there.

I raise my hands with my palms outward. “I apologize. After ten years in the military, I’m used to being in control of most situations and having people do what I tell them to do.” I frown, and my gaze drifts to the ceiling of the parking garage. “That’s not entirely true. It probably started before that. When I was growing up, I had to be in control. You’re right. It’s not my position to tell you what you can and can’t do.” Way to stick your foot in your mouth. There’s no way she’s going to go out with you now. Maybe it’s for the best. I run a hand through my hair. “But I care about you, and I want you to be safe.”

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea if we go out when we can’t agree without getting into an argument.” Her eyes narrow into slits, and she unfolds her arms. “But I’m willing to give it a shot. On one condition.”

My heart skips a beat. “What’s the condition?”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

Anxiety swells in my chest. I need to be in charge. It’s the only way I stay sane. How can I give that up? How can I give her up?

“What do you say? Agree?” She shoves her hand out between us. “We’re friends. We date with no strings attached. And you mind your own business.”

Fu-u-uck. I groan and shake my head. This is stupid. The situation has epic fuck up written all over it. I clasp her hand in mine. But I couldn’t walk away if I wanted to. “Agreed.”

The jingle of her cell phone emits from inside her handbag. I let go of her hand, and she reaches inside to retrieve it. Without glancing down, she hits a button that makes it stop ringing.

She steps forward, gives me a quick kiss, and settles onto her heels. “That’s got to be Rachel. I hate to run when we just made a non-commitment commitment, but I’m late. I’m sure you’ll want to make an appointment to discuss when we can get together.” She winks. “But I think we should wing it–throw caution to the wind. How about we go out tomorrow night for dinner?”

I chuckle. No matter what happens, she does have a way of making things more lighthearted. I don’t let many people make fun of me and not have it tick me off. “Where would you like to go?”

“Surprise me.” She opens the door and settles inside the driver’s seat.

“What kind of food do you like?”

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t plan. Let’s show up somewhere.”

I shudder. “I can’t do that. I need to make reservations. What if we can’t get in? Or we can only get a seat in the middle of the restaurant.” Even as I say the words, I know they’re solidifying my control issues, but I don’t like to have my back to open spaces.

She snaps the seatbelt. “Leave the planning to me. I don’t want you to stress over it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lord, help me.She’s like being swallowed up by a tiny tornado, and I can’t tell which way is up.