Chapter Nineteen
W e lay exhausted sometime later. Logan had collapsed on top of me after his release, but not before slowly and thoroughly building my body up to another massive climax first.
He shifted and settled his head between my breasts, continuing to breathe heavily for several moments, my fingers still knotted in his hair as my lungs slowed as well.
As Logan calmed, he moved his weight off me, pulling me against him as he reached for the bedding to cover us both.
I settled against him, his arm firmly around me, his fingers gently stroking my back, his other hand over mine where it rested on his chest.
The only sound was our soft breathing.
“Well, that was alright, I suppose,” I deadpanned in the quiet.
Logan’s chest shook as he chuckled. “I’m a little out of practice, but I’ll try to do better next time, ma’am.”
I rubbed my cheek against his skin before lifting my head to give him a skeptical smile. “There is no way in hell that could’ve been better.”
Logan looked pleased. “I can’t imagine that either.”
“I’m totally on board if you want to give it a shot though.”
We grinned at each other, and I leaned forward to kiss him before resting my cheek against him again, opening my mouth to yawn. “I should probably head home soon.”
Logan hugged me tighter to him. “Please stay and sleep with me?” he asked.
I bit my lip happily. “I can do that.”
Logan’s arm jerked against my back and his body stiffened under me. “Oh my god, Madison.” Hearing panic, I quickly looked at his face as he covered it with a hand. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about protection.”
I relaxed, shaking my head. “I had a tubal ligation when Sadie was born.”
His face flooded with relief for a second then guilt again as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not that I could probably even get you pregnant, and I know I told you I haven’t been sexually active, but that is no excuse.”
I shook my head again, feeling guilty as well now. “I agree we should have been more responsible and talked about this before we got caught up in what we were doing.” I brushed away a stray hair on my face. “For what it’s worth, I did get tested when my marriage ended. Everything was negative and… I haven’t been with anyone else. I have no doubt you were fully co mmitted to your wife, and if you’re telling me there has been no one since and that I don’t have anything to worry about, I believe you.”
The tension left his eyes. “Thank you. I believe you as well.”
“That’s settled then.”
I glanced up and noticed a small frame sitting on the nightstand. It was a photo of Natalie and Riley from when she was probably four or five. She had her mother’s pretty blonde hair and green eyes. Her pointed little nose and chin were all Logan though; she also had his thick eyelashes.
Logan caught that my attention had slipped and looked in the same direction. His eyes settled on the photo also, sadness, and love in his expression.
“They were both beautiful,” I told him.
He started stroking my back again. I laid my cheek back on his chest and snuggled closer.
“Of course, you don’t have to, but would you tell me more about them?”
Several moments passed and I began to think Logan would remain silent. Then his chest expanded on a deep breath, and he let it out slowly.
“I met Natalie freshman year of high school. I was goofing around with friends in the hall and felt a sharp tap on my shoulder. When I turned, she was standing there, a big ass camera on a strap around her neck. She looked so annoyed, telling me, ‘Move it, jock boy.’ I told her it wasn’t very kind to label strangers. She rolled her eyes and retorted that me and my ‘Letterman jacket-wearing buddies’ were blocking her locker.”
Logan chuckled lightly at the memory.
“For some reason, I was completely taken with the blonde spitfire, tapping an impatient foot, glaring at me when I still didn’t move out of her way. It took me two weeks to convince her to go on a date with me. Once she finally gave in… that was it for both of us.”
I listened as he told me stories about high school and college-aged Logan and Natalie. He described a smart, funny girl then woman, and I easily understand why he had fallen so in love.
He moved on to their married life, and then when Riley was born. “She was such an easy baby and energetic toddler. She loved to draw and asked for a dog every year for her birthday and Christmas. We’d been talking about getting a puppy for her next birthday the year—” Logan stopped. “Riley, she loved the orange cranberry scones at the cafe.”
I remembered how he’d reacted the day before when I told him the pastry was Sadie’s and my favorite. I squeezed his hand as he kept describing everything he loved about his wife and daughter.
Logan fell silent again and I lifted my head. He was still staring at the picture but slowly turned back to me and I watched a single tear run down his cheek. I reached up to catch it and Logan pressed his face against my palm.
When I spoke again, my voice was emotional. “Your stories and sorrow tell me how wonderful a husband you were, Logan. What a loving daddy you were to Riley. I know you feel you let them down, but I don’t believe that. The accident… it wasn’t your fault. Deep down you have to know that.”
Another set of tears slid down his face and I gently wiped them away.
“I can’t even begin to imagine your pain. Divorcing a spouse is nothing compared to losing one, not even in the same universe. But I know what it is like to have your world ripped apart and how hard it is to pick up the pieces. I had Grace and Sadie to help me put mine back together. I would be destroyed if I lost one of them.”
I wiped my cheeks this time, then shifted to lay my hand on his heart.
“The things I have learned about you show me what a strong person you are. But it has got to be hard, carrying so much alone. I would never try to put myself in a place where I’m not invited, but I want you to know, that I’m here if you need someone to hear everything you have been keeping locked away in your broken heart for a long time.”
I swallowed more emotion before I continued.
“I hide a lot of my past from people who care about me. If I am honest, some of it I probably always will. The things I have been able to talk about,” I shook my head sadly, “it was almost a relief to get those things out. If you ever want to share anything, I will listen. Okay?”
Logan’s jaw was locked as he nodded. He sniffed and blinked repeatedly as he pulled me back to his chest and stared at the ceiling. I lay there quietly, letting him feel or think whatever he needed to while he held onto me.
My eyelids were growing heavy when his features shifted and he looked down at me again. “Can I take you somewhere tomorrow? Somewhere important to me.”
I gave Logan a sleepy nod. “It’s a date.”