Remnants of Riley

Prologue

Sometimes, when I’m lying awake in bed at night, unable to sleep, I become acutely aware of myself.

Every sensation of my body becomes glaringly pronounced–the blood pumping through my veins, the weight of the blanket on my skin, the chill of the air in the room. Every sound, smell and sight around me heightened to such a vivid level, I couldn”t ignore it if I tried.

And it’s in those moments that I realize how very, very small I actually am. Nothing but an inconsequential blip on the timeline of a universe we don’t even understand.

But nothing has ever made me feel as small as he did. And I begged him for more.

Because when nothing in life makes sense, when nothing goes like it’s supposed to, sometimes giving someone else complete power over you is the only way to make yourself feel in control at all.

Maybe I’m fucked up. Maybe my mind is such a mess that I can’t differentiate what’s right from wrong anymore. Good from evil. Pleasure from pain.

Yet in those moments, with him, I felt alive. I felt strong. I felt sexy.

I felt powerful.

But nothing lasts forever. And at the end of the day, we’re all just an inconsequential blip on someone else”s timeline.

At least, that’s what I thought.