Chapter 6
Ican’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t fucking breathe.
My vision starts to blur, and I flail, my hands grabbing at the arms in front of me, feet kicking out uselessly toward the body pressing into me. Hands circle my neck, squeezing, and I can’t… I can’t… I ca—
I gasp. The hands around my neck loosen just enough to get a small amount of air in. My fingernails tear into the man’s forearms, digging in so hard that skin and blood get wedged underneath my nails.
“You thought you could leave me?” he yells, spit flying into my face. “You thought you could fucking run?”
He slams me hard into the wall, releasing my neck at last. I gasp, sucking in gulps of air as my legs crumble and I fall to the floor. I’m dizzy, my mind unfocused, my body quivering. I fall onto my side, my hands up around my neck as though it will take away the pain, the burning.
A boot slams into my stomach and I choke on the breath I was taking, a noise I don”t even recognize escaping my lips. Pain erupts through my side and I curl my knees up to my chest, as though I can protect myself from the onslaught.
“I’ll fucking kill you!” the man shouts as he reaches down. I cower away, but am unable to get far. Pain radiates through my torso, making it difficult to move.
He grabs me by the hair and yanks me up, shoving me onto the bed. “If you ever try to leave again, I swear I’ll fucking kill you.” His words are softer this time, but spoken with so much venom that I know it’s not a threat. It’s a promise.
“Then do it!” I yell back, my voice strained from being choked. “Just fucking end it already! I’m done.”
And I mean it. I am done. I can’t live like this anymore. If this is what my life has become, then I don’t want to live it at all.
He laughs, an evil sound that sends chills down my spine. “Nah, I think I’ll wait a while. There’s still so much we’ve gotta do.”
He grabs me by the waist, flipping me onto my stomach and pulling my pants and underwear down my legs in one swift movement. It’s then that my brain finally catches up and realizes what he means to do.
“No… Trevor! No!” I cry out, tears and snot streaming down my face. “Stop!”
I start sobbing as he puts his weight over my flailing body, his chest pressing into my back. He reaches between us and unzips his pants. I can feel when he pulls out his dick, resting it against my ass. He positions himself between my thighs, using his legs to force them open.
“Don’t, please,” I manage to get out between sobs, but it’s no use. He likes to see me cry. Likes to see me hurt. “Please,” I beg one more time, before he lines himself up at my entrance.
“You’ll never leave me,” he says, his voice frighteningly soft and hot on my ear. “I won’t let you…”
I sit up straight in bed, my heart feeling like it’s going to beat out of my chest. I’m sweating, yet my body shakes with the chill that settles over me. My blanket is fisted in my hands, and I drop it, clenching and unclenching my fists. My fingers ache from how hard they were gripping the blanket.
Forcing myself to take a few deep breaths, I scan my surroundings, taking stock of where I am.
It’s dark. It’s still nighttime. I’m in bed. My bed. But where am I? My apartment. Yes, my apartment. My new one. In Virginia.
I’m safe.
Safe.
I lie back down on my side, pulling my knees to my chest in an effort to make myself as small as possible. I slow my breathing and count to twenty, my thumb tapping a fingertip at each count. Over and over and over again. Only when my breathing has returned to normal, do I stretch back out, turning onto my back to stare at the ceiling.
It’s been months since I’ve had one of these nightmares. I’ve come so far in the last year and a half. I foolishly hoped that the past was where it belonged: in the past.
Since moving back here, I’ve been in a better place, the nightmares becoming less and less frequent, Trevor intruding into my mind less often. Everything was moving in the right direction.
At first, after I left Trevor, I had nightmares almost every night. Bits and pieces of our turbulent last few months together playing like a reel in my mind over and over again. It got to the point where I was afraid to sleep because I knew I’d see him there. I’d go days without sleeping, until my body physically couldn’t function anymore and I’d pass out, only to succumb to the nightmares again.
Those first few months after it happened, after everything finally came to head, he was everywhere. In my sleep. In the back of my mind while I was awake. Lurking over my shoulder as I went about my day. He was like a shadow following me around.
Eventually, that shadow started diminishing. The nightmares lessened too, but when I did have them, I still couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards. Over time, though, even that got better, and I learned how to calm myself down after one.
It became almost a ritual. Anytime I’d have a nightmare, I would count to twenty and tap my fingertips. I’d do this over and over until I fell back asleep.
When I first started my little trick, it would take hours before I could fall back asleep. But eventually, it took less and less time. The tap, tap, tapping of my fingertips calming me and bringing me back to reality. Grounding me and then lulling me off to sleep.
Now, when I do get the occasional nightmare, it doesn’t take me long to re-center myself, tapping away until I’m back in a good spot. I catch myself doing it even when I don’t have the nightmares–if I’m scared of something or anxious. My little fingertip dance soothes me.
I’m in the best place I’ve been since leaving Trevor. Hell, I’m probably in the best place of my life. I have a good job, a best friend who I’d do anything for, and soon I’ll have my own house. I might not have much as far as possessions go. But what I do have? It’s mine. Everything I currently have, I’ve worked my ass off for and provided for myself. Sure, my car is shitty and my furniture is mismatched. I shop the sales and buy secondhand. But it’s all mine.
I was twenty-one when my mom died and I left West Virginia. I’d taken the six hundred dollars cash I had saved up and the family”s Subaru and headed to Utah.
When I was in elementary school, I saw a video about all the dinosaur fossils that have been discovered there, and ten-year-old me thought that was the coolest thing ever. I even thought I’d go to college one day and study paleontology. Of course, that was never in the cards for me, but when I threw my suitcase in the back of that beat up Forester and drove away from our family home, that’s where I went. To the place that had totally enraptured me as a child.
My first few months in Utah were hard. I was fortunate to find a job right away, but I spent the first three months there living in a campground while I saved money for an apartment. I had picked up a discount tent from an outfitting company–one that had been returned and already had holes in it–and it became my temporary home. Thankfully, I moved there in May, so at least I didn”t have to worry about freezing.
Once I’d saved up enough for an apartment, things started getting better. Then I met Trevor, and I thought my life was perfect. And it had been. The first year and a half together had been everything I could have wanted. Until it wasn’t.
I squeeze my eyes shut and force the memories back into the recesses of my mind, boxing them up and putting them away to forget about again. I went through hell with Trevor those last six months together, and I have no desire to keep reliving it.
Snuggling deeper under the covers, I turn onto my side. My mind has been consumed thinking of Emmett all day. After he left me in the living room this morning, skin hot from his touch, I couldn’t get my mind off him. The way my body had lit up from just the touch of his finger, I could feel that ache in my core. That sweet, sweet ache that I haven’t felt in so long.
It scares the hell out of me how a man I barely know can affect me like that. That he can have that kind of power over me. But this morning, it mostly left me horny as hell. To the point I masturbated in the shower thinking about him. Imagining if that finger had gone lower.
It’s almost comical that I’d have a nightmare of Trevor just when I start fantasizing about another man. It’s like some kind of sick cosmic joke, reinforcing that I”m not ready to move on, to open myself up to someone else. As if the nerves and fear I get around Emmett weren’t enough to remind me of the fact.
Maybe Tracy’s right. Maybe I should just rip the band-aid off and sleep with someone. Maybe it would finally feel like moving on.
The satisfaction of hearing Riley call out my name while pleasuring herself has consumed my every waking thought since this morning.
Until now. Now I’m pissed.
Who the fuck is Trevor?
I watch her from her closet. The door is cracked just enough that I’ve got a clear view of her bed. The dim light in the room softly illuminates her figure on the mattress, and I can tell she’s fallen back asleep by the steady rise and fall of her chest.
Pushing the closet door open as quietly as I can, I step back into her room, moving toward her bed. I’d been standing over her, installing a tracking app on her cellphone when she’d started whimpering and I moved into the closet, not wanting to be caught should she wake up. Then she’d cried out another man’s name, and it ignited something in me.
Something dark and ugly. An urge to eliminate anything standing between her and me. An urge to mark her. To claim her.
I had assumed Riley was single. Especially given the way she acts around me. She’s so timid, like a scared little rabbit whenever she’s in my presence, ready to bolt at the first opportunity. And the way her body responds to me? I have a hard time believing she’s with someone else. She’s not the kind of woman who would cheat. She’s too meek, too innocent to play games. She’d say something if she was in a relationship, if for no other reason than to get me to leave her alone.
And besides, even if she was in a relationship, it wouldn’t matter.
She’ll be mine, whether she wants to be or not. I told her I always get the yes, and this thing between her and me will be no different. It won’t be long before the only name she’s crying out in her sleep is mine.
Still, I can’t help but wonder who Trevor is.
There’s a slight vibration in my jacket pocket, and I pull her cellphone out to see the app has finished installing. I plug her phone back into its charger and set it on the nightstand where it had been before.
No more hiding from me, sweet girl. I’ll be able to track her every move, every phone call, text message, internet search. All of it.
I back out of her room and head toward the living room. From the kitchen island, I grab the piece of wood I had brought with me and take it over to her patio door, wedging it between the sliding door and the frame. Should anyone try to break in through her patio door now, their only option will be to break the glass. They can pick the lock and the door won’t slide.
Satisfied that I’ve secured her shitty apartment as much as I can, I exit through her front door, locking it up behind me. As soon as we have our walk-through of her new place, I’ll do the same there. I’ve already picked out the security system I want from one of the tech companies Jax and I had invested in. He called in a favor to have them install the system on the day of closing. All the cameras should be in place before she even moves in.
I don’t deny my sudden obsession with this woman is crazy. But I also don’t give a fuck. She’ll just have to deal with it.
By the time I get back to my penthouse, it’s damn near two in the morning. So when I get to my front door and see the blonde sitting on the floor beside it, back against the wall and legs spread out in front of her, panties on full display, it’s the last thing I expected or wanted to deal with.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, already annoyed by her presence. Why the fuck did Frank let her up?
Ashleigh pushes up to her feet, and I can tell by the way she wobbles and reaches out to steady herself on the wall that she’s drunk.
“I was waiting for you,” she slurs, validating my assessment of her. She’s wearing a tight, strapless black dress that’s barely long enough to cover her ass. She’s barefoot, and I make a quick scan of the area to find her heels tossed in the corner of the entryway, next to a fake potted plant.
I pick up her shoes, then grab her hand and lead her back into the elevator I just stepped out of. “I’ll have Frank call you a cab,” I say as I pull her in with me and hit the button for the ground floor.
As soon as the doors close, she leans into me, her hands on my chest and her body pressed tight against mine, her hips grinding into me. “I was hoping we could have… have some fun,” she says, her words interrupted by a hiccup.
I resist the urge to throttle her. I’ve made it clear to her that she was nothing more than a hookup, and she was fine with that. She knew what she was getting into with me. I’ve also made it clear to her that she’s not allowed at my place uninvited. And I sure as fuck didn’t invite her over tonight.
“No,” I respond firmly. I’ll have to make sure Frank knows not to allow anyone up to my penthouse other than Jax from now on. And Riley.
Ashleigh’s hands start wandering from my chest, one moving up to my neck as the other moves down my abs. I grab her wrist that’s making a fast descent toward my dick with my free hand, wrenching it away from me.
“If you ever fucking come back here again, I’ll press trespassing charges against you. Do you understand?” She looks at me wide eyed, like she can’t comprehend why I wouldn’t want her here. When she doesn’t respond, I grab her shoulder and give her a shake. “Answer me!”
“Yes!” she cries out, pulling away from me and stumbling to the opposite corner.
When we finally reach the first floor, I grab her arm and pull her from the elevator and over to the desk in the welcome lobby. Frank sits behind the desk, and I shove her toward it, tossing her heels to the floor at her feet.
“Call her a cab,” I demand. Then add, “No one is allowed up to my penthouse other than Jax Lundquist and Riley Miles. Is that easy enough to understand, or do you need it in writing?” I can’t help the angry tone in my voice. Frank’s a nice guy, but Ashleigh has snapped my last nerve by showing up here uninvited.
“Understood, sir,” Frank says with a nod of his head, the apology clear in his eyes. He adds, “I’ll make sure the lady gets a ride home as well.”
“Good man,” I respond, giving a slap to the top of his desk before turning away and making my way back to the elevator.
When I’m finally in my penthouse, I toe off my shoes and hang my jacket in the entryway closet. Pulling my phone from my pants pocket, I check the tracking app and see that Riley hasn’t unlocked her phone since I installed it, so I assume she’s still sleeping soundly like I left her.
Crossing my living space, I head for my bedroom and tug my shirt off along the way. I’m fucking exhausted. Who knew stalking someone was so much work?
I lose my jeans and boxers and head into the master bath, turning the shower on and stepping in before the water has warmed. The slice of the cold water against my body takes my breath away, and I let out a gasp. When the water finally warms up, I brace my hands against the shower wall, letting my head hang.
I will the hot water to ease some of the tension in my body, but it doesn’t. How can a woman I’ve known for barely two days have me so fucking wound up? You’d think I”ve never had pussy before and hers was made of gold. I’ve never desired anything in my life like this before.
It’s an all-consuming need, eliciting something primal in me. A need to possess and own and dominate. The need to be near her, to touch her, to make her squirm. To see her breath catch and her eyes dart away whenever I move in.
I close my eyes and grab my hardening dick. Stroking myself, I replay the sound of my name spilling from her lips earlier in the shower. Fuck if it wasn’t the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. Like a melody, written only for me, burying itself into my mind and carving out a permanent place in my memory.
Every muscle in my body is tense, the arm supporting me against the wall flexing as I rub my hand up and down my shaft. My body is desperate for the release I’ve been denying it since first seeing her in her office.
My breathing becomes ragged as I pump myself faster and harder. I imagine her pussy taking the length of my cock, spreading her wide as I plunge into her tight, wet heat. My dick throbs in my grasp as I imagine her trembling beneath me, begging me to let her come.
I climax with a grunt, my hand slowing as I ride out my release. My cum covers my hand and the shower wall in front of me, thick globs slowly sliding down the wall under the spray from the shower.
“Fuck,” I whisper, resting my forehead against the wall. If I don’t get a taste of Riley soon, I might fucking implode.