Rescued By A Perfect Stranger: A Single Dad, Age Gap Romance (Bearberry Bay - Rescue Series Book 4)

Chapter 13

~~ Lorelai ~~

Rusty had taken over James’s warm spot in the bed, and I’d slept for another hour or two with a warm paw and heavy head lying on my arm. He is still there when I wake, looking at me with eyes that seem to want to share his secrets. I rub his ears and press a kiss to his nose. I wish I could read his mind, see everything that has happened to him in his short life.

James hasn’t looked me in the face even once since earlier this morning.

He laid a breakfast plate on the table for me when I got up, pulled on his coat, and went out the front door. When I got out of the shower, he got in. When he got out, he started packing, mumbling to me that we’d head out as soon as the roads are cleared.

I fight back the insecurities that tell me James didn’t enjoy what we shared, that he must not like me, that there must be something else he wanted that I didn’t deliver. I force myself to go back over the whole night. I end up getting myself turned on and wanting more, but I make myself acknowledge I have zero actual doubt he fully participated and very much enjoyed our intimacy.

He doesn’t seem the type to be intentionally rude. Lord knows I’ve experienced enough of that! Something else is bothering him. He said he wasn’t married, but maybe he has a girlfriend. I didn’t ask that specific question.

When he’s sufficiently packed, James settles into the recliner with his book. I notice the bookmark is very close to the end.

So I wait.

While I wait, I re-play my therapist’s insistence that it is okay to ask questions. I remind myself I no longer need to avoid conflict at any cost. I can ask for clarification or state my own feelings. I realize my childhood formed massive trauma responses, but I also know I can choose a different reaction if I let myself.

I also know I don’t want to end this on a bad note. Of all the people who have come and gone in my life, this man has been the kindest, most peaceful person, and I’d like to remember him that way. Maybe it’s better to leave it alone.

Or maybe there’s a middle ground, and we just have to find it.

I power on my tablet and search for the nearest bus station. It’s close enough to the town, I think James will be willing to drop me off there. Once I’m there, I can “spin the wheel” and let fate choose a place to go, just like the last few times before my fateful ride with Scott. Or Seth. I roll my eyes at myself again for not remembering his name.

Rusty plops beside me on the floor, and I let my hand drop to his fur. He gives my fingers a light lick. He has such a solid presence. I wonder what it would be like to have a dog. For my very own. I know I can find a home now, settle in, have belongings I treasure and keep safe, have a pet. And I will. I just need to find the right place.