Chapter 16
~~ James ~~
I’ve already unpacked, started a load of laundry, and made a grocery order from Hannaford’s to be delivered in the morning. I called and talked to Emilie and Becca, both of whom I’ll pick up tomorrow, leaving Trev a week for himself. It”s a good set up for us as single dads, and Trevor has become a good friend despite our angry beginnings.
I try to start the other thriller I hadn’t read at the cabin, but I can’t get settled even though I sit in my favorite chair in the game room. The reading lamp is at the perfect height, and the side table is close enough to hold a cup of tea or a beer within reach. A blanket is folded over the back in case it gets chilly. This is my perfect spot.
I reread the opening paragraph, wondering what’s wrong with me. Then I realize I’m listening for the soft rustle of Lorelai on the couch with Rusty at her side. I open my phone’s photo gallery and run my finger over the picture of Lorelai glancing up at me from the table. Her eyes are pure silver in this shot, but my mind fills in the blue rim, the taste of her peach-pink lips.
I need to get out. It’s still too cold for a run, so I grab my truck keys and head into town. I drive aimlessly around the square, past the bakery and boutique. For once, I’m not feeling the pride I normally do in my friends’ businesses, just this odd restlessness. I’m paused at a stop sign when a knock sounds on my passenger window.
It’s Kaiden, and of course he’s dressed in a three-piece on a Saturday. I roll down the window. “You want to grab a drink?” he asks. I shake my head, but he doesn’t take that as an answer. “I walked right in front of your truck and waved,” he tells me. “You didn’t even see me. Something’s on your mind.” I nod. He knows me well enough to know something’s off. “Lucius tells me there’s a great dive-bar around the corner.”
“Sam’s. I know it. It’s definitely a dive.” I say. “Hop in before you get frostbite.” I drive us down the block and park around the corner, a few spots from the end where I can see the bar sign. “Where were you headed?” I ask.
“I put in a few hours at the office since Cami has a big order going out, and I was walking over to Cloud Nine. I was going to harass her into closing early, so she isn’t expecting me until later.”
We head into the dark bar, getting looks from several of the patrons. “Patrons.” That’s a gracious word in this place. If there’s such a thing as a rough crowd in our small town, that element is here. But Sam runs a tight ship. He doesn’t put up with any bullshit, and his balls-buster bouncer makes sure there isn’t any drama. If you’re at Sam’s, you’re there to drink, and that’s the end of it.
Sam is wiping spots off glasses fresh out of the dishwasher but looks up as we walk in. “Haven’t seen you in a while, James.”
“Yeah, it’s been a bit, Sam.”
“Amato.” He gives Kaiden a head nod. Kaiden doesn’t even react to Sam knowing his name. He just nods back, taking it in stride. Slick m-effer. I admire that about him.
“What are you drinking today, gents? I got in a Balvenie, French Oak?” Sam remembers I have a taste for scotch, and I tell him I’m happy to have it.
“Segretario?” Kaiden’s request isn’t one I recognize, but Sam clearly does.
He scoffs. “Rule breaker, eh? How ‘bout the 1792 12 year? Won World’s Best this year for bourbons.”
Kaiden agrees with another nod.
We take our drinks to an open booth on the side of the empty dance floor. Kaiden takes in the room. “Luce said Sam’s had some class under the grunge. I like it.”
He looks across the table at me. “Now. Tell me about her.”
I’m startled, and I guess he sees it. “It’s always a woman.” He chuckles a little.
I tell him the story of Rusty leading me to Lorelai, her injuries, how I read between the lines when she talked about her childhood. I told him how shitty I feel about the age difference.
“There’s sixteen freaking years between us!” I exclaim when he gives me the “age is just a number speech”. “That’s more than double the span between you and Cami.”
“Well, it sounds like it isn’t such a big gap if one accounts for her life experiences,” he tells me. “Growing up like you say she did ages a person. Also, she was a willing participant, James. You said you turned her down twice. No one can judge you for allowing some mutual pleasure.”
“I know,” I say with my head in my hands. “It was more than that, though. I couldn’t stay professional. As my boss, shouldn’t you have a problem with that?”
“You were on vacation, not on a job.” Kaiden reminds me softly.
“That’s another thing. I went for peace and quiet, to rest my mind. I wasn’t even annoyed that she was basically crashing my vacation! She...” I broke off, trying to think of the right word. “Fit. She fit. Where I left off, she picked up. Everything I started, she made better.
Even when I acted like an asshole, she waited me out. Then she took my apology at face value, and just let it go instead of arguing about it or blaming me.”
Damn, I’m a mess! It wasn’t enough to perv-out over her tiny body that should have been lithe and athletic, but somehow had curves everywhere. I also had to go and fall for her quiet acceptance, her strength in the face of all that had happened to her. I down the rest of my drink all at once.
“Those don’t sound like negatives.” Kaiden speaks softly once again. “You have chemistry and coordination.”
“You’re right.” I tell him, accepting it with a grudge in my voice. “She knows how to find fun, and she appreciates the small things.”
“Again. Positives. When are you seeing her again?”
“I’m not.” I rub my face with both hands.
“You’re beating yourself up a hell of a lot over a woman you aren’t going to see again. Why won’t you?” Kaiden’s voice is level, balancing out the emotional state I’ve worked myself into.
“I didn’t get her last name or her number or anything. I dropped her in front of a bus station, and she didn’t even know where she was heading. There’s no way to find her.”
“Damn,” Kaiden curses and is quiet for a second. Then he asks, “Do you have a picture?”
“Oh, yeah. I took a few.” I pull out my phone, open the gallery, and hand it across to Kaiden.
Sam appears just then at the side of the table with a drink in each hand. He slides them across to us.
“Oh!” The exclamation gets Sam’s attention, and he peeks over Kaiden”s shoulder as he scrolls through the snapshots. “Now I see why you’re worked up.”
Sam laughs, “You found one of those women that goes from cute to gorgeous in the blink of an eye! Good luck keeping up with that one!” He ambles back across to the bar.
“I can run these through FRT.” Kaiden looks at me for an ok.
“I don’t know,” I tell him. “That sounds like an invasion of privacy.”
“Well, I sent them to myself, so if you change your mind, let me know.” He hands my phone back. “I already have the software, and my cousin needs the practice. She keeps complaining about being bored since my uncle sent her over to get her away from some boy she was sneaking out with. I’m trying to keep her busy with our tech jobs. She’s a damn genius even at seventeen. I got stuck babysitting in return for his aid in getting that dirtbag away from Angela.”
I’m surprised at his admission. He rarely talks about his Italian family. He’s close with his parents who are here in Maine and mentions them often. The extended family had descended on the town in force for his and Cami’s wedding, but he doesn’t talk about them. His cousin must really be running him ragged.
I ask about the bakery, and I see pride fill his face when he talks about Cami’s newest recipes, the new delivery van that needs a driver, and the early morning baker she’s hired to start the breakfast pastries.
We pay our tabs, and I see Kaiden slip his business card to Sam when he hands over the signed receipt. I wonder if Sam’s is about to get a new investor given the amount of interest Kaiden had shown in the bar.
I drop Kaiden off in front of Cloud Nine. “Thanks for the talk, boss,” I tell him. He gives me a look. I know he hates it when I call him boss, even though he does fund the SAR Team.
“Don’t beat yourself up about your gal,” he says in reply and waves as he steps away.
I go home and try to sleep, but I dream about Lorelai’s body moving against mine and wake hard as a rock. I don’t even feel like trying to take care of that myself, and eventually it passes. But when I fall asleep again, I end up back in the same dream.
Finally, I just get up and crank up the heater in my work out area in the garage and sweat to some death metal playing in my earbuds. I sense this is going to become a problem.