Chapter 38
~~ James ~~
”Daddy?”
I’m spearing pot roast and vegetables from the crockpot onto Princess plates, wondering what Lorelai would’ve made to add to this. Maybe some garlic toast or a salad with some surprising toppings.
“What baby girl? I answer on autopilot. My brain is still trying to wrap my head around the last week.
I’d woken to my phone alarm Friday morning on the couch, covered with a blanket. Lorelai had already left for work, and her room was cleared of all her belongings. Now it’s been a week since I saw her.
“Daddy!”
Damn, I missed what she said. Emilie has been hateful all week and wouldn’t speak to me about it. She and Becca have only been talking in whispers I couldn’t make out. I should damn well give her my full attention.
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m listening now.” I set the plates down in front of the girls and sit down. I look across the table at the twin sets of caramel eyes.
“Mizz Mills said if sumpin’ was on my mind, I should talk to you. She said not to be angered ‘til I have facts.” She stretches out the last word like she’s sounding out the letters.
“Miss Mills is very smart. And you girls are smart for taking her suggestions.”
“Did you make her leave?” The most accusatory tone comes out of my four-year-old”s mouth.
“What? No, baby. No.”
This is not at all what I thought would be bothering her. I suspected it might be because I hadn’t bought those boots yet. Or I didn’t wash the princess costumes.
“Is that why you’ve been mad at me all week?”
“Yeah.” She glares at me across the table.
Hers are her mother’s eyes. Angry eyes. I remembered all the times those were directed at me for late work hours, neglected chores, nights out with friends, and the overall discourtesy I’d shown our marriage. She hadn’t known I was running from my own demons, but those things were still truths. And the reasons she left me. For Trevor.
I’ve long since taken responsibility for that, and Trevor and I have worked through our anger at each other over the three years Naomi’s been gone.
Seems I need to take some responsibility here as well. No, I hadn’t made Lorelai leave, but I also hadn’t asked her to stay. I made the excuse that she was young and deserved to live before being trapped into a relationship with kids and responsibilities. I made the excuse that she was the girl’s teacher. I made every excuse I could to keep my distance.
But the truth is she fit into our family like she was made for it. She complemented us in ways I hadn‘t expected. She’s even keeping her job from being a conflict of interest by sending the girls back to me to discuss family issues.
“We wanted her to be our new Mommy,” Becca declares softly.
“Oh, Becca.” I hadn’t thought about the girls wanting a mother figure in their lives in a long time. I’d also had no idea the girls had clung to that hope with Lorelai.
“Do you even miss her?” Emilie is still spitting venom.
And I DO miss her.
I had missed her since the day I dropped her at the bus station, but now... It’s more. Deeper.
I miss her smiles sent to me from across the room when she”s in the middle of small chores, like wiping the table, or folding towels.
I miss listening to her read to the girls, never rushing through, always encouraging discussions about the characters.
I miss her in the kitchen, taking my barely passable offerings and elevating them with small additions and twists.
I miss her quiet consideration.
I miss how she’s always ready to pitch in to a task, and equally ready to turn something ordinary into an adventure.
I miss the glimpses of her long legs, the bounce of her breasts, the heated looks she gave me more often than I like to admit.
I miss the way she melted under my hands.
I miss the way it was easier to breathe when she was here.
“I do miss her, Em. I miss her a lot.”
“Well, why don’t you get her back, then!” Emilie shoots out.
Why, indeed.
“Please ”vince her to come back, Uncle James? We really love her.” Becca’s eyes are sad but hopeful.
Could I? Lorelai had always been far more open to an “us’ than I was, but she had also accepted what I’d determined as her place in my life without argument. Maybe she would be on board with taking things forward.
I’ve almost lost her too many times now. I really want to keep her.
“I don’t know if I can. But I will try.” I look at the girls across the table. “It might take a while.”
“That’s okay,” Emilie says in matter-of-fact way. “But try your bestest.”
“I will,” I promise her, and myself.
There’s a knock on the door. It must be a neighbor; Trev would’ve called first.
“I’ll get your drinks in a minute.” I tell the girls and get up to answer the door.
But it isn’t a neighbor. Lorelai stands there in tight, tight jeans and a green long sleeve “Take Back Your Life” tee, her long copper hair flying loose in the wind. She corrals it with both hands and pulls it over her shoulder.
”I texted, but I took a chance you’d be home when you didn’t answer.”
“Come in. We’re just sitting down to dinner.”
“I don’t want to intru-“
My mouth cuts off whatever she was saying. My arms wrap around her body, and I lift her off the ground. Her hands are on either side my face and her lips open for my tongue.
Once we pull our mouths apart to breathe and look at each other, I swoop her up and carry her to the table.
“Look who I found outside, girls!”
They both start clapping and screaming, “Yay!”
“I knew Uncle James would get you back,” Becca squeaks out.
“She obvi’sly brought hersef back!” Emilie declares, still giving me the side eye treatment.
“My baby feminist,” I say shaking my head.
“Girl power!” Lorelai says, shoving her fist into the air. The girls get up from the table and do their own renditions. Becca spins in a graceful circle, and Emilie jumps up and down.
I go into the kitchen for drinks and another plate. I hear Lorelai tell the girls that actually men and women are equally important, that one can’t exist without the other, and every person has their own strengths and weaknesses.
I smile and hang out in the kitchen just a little longer listening to Emilie and Becca identify things they’re good at and things other kids do better. Lorelai commends them for being so observant and noticing positives qualities. She tells them she is so proud of them, she’s going to make one day a month “compliment day” at the school so that each child can hear something other kids think they do well.
After dinner, we play a few rounds of Jumpin” Monkeys, then baths, and books, and tucking the girls in together.
Emilie gives Lorelai a long hug and says in her loudest whisper, “In case Daddy doesn’t tell you, you can come over ev’ry day!”
And then we’re alone. Or basically alone.
It’s time to man up.
I pour Lorelai a glass of the ice wine I know she likes. I’d tucked a brand-new bottle into the fridge door two days ago, even though she was gone.
She reaches for the glass. “I missed you.” We both say at the same time. Then we both laugh.
“Want to sit on the patio?” I ask her. “It’s chilly. I can grab some blankets.” Her eyes light up.
So, we sit on the swing with our glasses, covered in a blanket. When the wind blows harder, I shiver, but I see her lift her chin and close her eyes.
“It’s going to be summer soon. Enjoy these last few cool nights.” She just smiles with her eyes closed. I give the swing a push and lift my foot so it rocks a few times.
“Why did you come tonight,” I have to ask.
She doesn’t try to play coy. “I missed you and I missed Emily. I knew you would have picked up Becca for the weekend. I couldn’t stay away any longer.” She looks over at me. Her honesty pours over me and through me. Never any head games with her. She just says what she means.
‘Just before you got here, Em asked if I made you leave. She was so angry with me.” I look over to see her reaction.
“Is that why she’s been so extra this week?” Lorelai gives a little laugh. “I tried everything I could think of, but she was just a little ball of mad.”
“The two of them decided I should try and get you back.” I wait to see what she says, but she’s just quiet, watching me with shimmery silver shining in the soft glow of the Edison lights strung across the patio.
“I’ve decided they’re right.”
Her lips part and I want to have them everywhere on my skin. But she’s still silent, waiting.
“I’d like to convince you to come back. Often. To eventually stay. To be part of our lives. To be part of my life. It was hard to breathe without you here, and I don’t ever want to have to lose you again.”
“Are you going to make me sleep in the guest room?” Her voice comes out dry and rough, and I can’t tell if she is being sincere or witty.
But either way, my answer will be the same. I chuckle. “No ma’am. I was hoping you’d want to share mine.”
“I’d like to share yours right now.”
I laugh. “You really are a very impatient Chipmunk!” But I set aside the glasses, swing her little body up over my shoulder, blanket trailing, carry her up the stairs, and toss her gently on my bed.
She looks around and I realize she’s never been in here. My designer did a great job making this room feel like a forest with dark greens and browns and a mural of trees on the far wall.
“Play tourist later, Chipmunk,” I growl. “I’ve been needing you naked for a long time. You have no idea how hard it was when you were sleeping just down the hall.”
“As hard as it is now?” She giggles like the kid I thought she was, and I look down at the tent in front of my sweatpants.
“Oh. Much harder. You can’t handle that hard.”
“I think I can,” she says.
“Prove it.”
Her eyes stay on mine as she crawls across the sheets and pulls the band of my sweats down under my balls. Her tongue swipes across her lips and then her mouth slides over my tip. I think my eyes roll back in my head. Holy heaven!
Her mouth is warm and wet and the texture of her tongue rubbing against my shaft is almost enough to make me come on the spot. Her mouth moves back, her tongue swiping around the edge of the head, and then sinking me back inside until I feel myself hit the back of her throat.
I try to pull back, but one of her hands reaches around to grab my ass, and she holds me in place. I wait for her gag reflex to take over and push for my exit, but she just slides her lips back to my tip and takes me in again. Again, I feel her throat moving as she suckles me, her tongue rubbing across and back. Sliding me out and then in, out and then in.
Fuck. I grip her shoulders and push her back. There”s no way I’m going to be the first to come tonight.
She lets out a whimper and moves to take me with her mouth again, but I tip up her chin. “I’ve been dreaming about exactly this for months, Lorelai. Later I’ll let you finish me, but right now, I need to feel you come apart around me.”
I pull her against my chest and kiss her hard while I peel her jeans to her knees, and her shirt up and off. She scrambles to push her boots onto the floor and pull the jeans off her legs while I’m shedding my clothes as fast as I can. Then her skin is on mine, and I take a moment to relish in just that simple pleasure.
Then I get down to business. I slide a finger inside her to find she’s already drenched. I add another, but she bucks against me, pushing my hand away. “Please let me have you,” she whispers.
“So impatient.” I’m going to have to show her how good patience can feel. But for now, I grab a condom from the drawer in the bedside table, tear the package open with my teeth and slide it on.
I let her greedy hands pull me down, and I sheath myself inside of her in one push. She gasps, and I still. I examine her face, glad I’d left the bathroom light on. “You okay?” I grind out, hoping like hell I didn’t hurt her. She seemed wet enough.
Her “yes,” comes out on a frustrated breath, and her hips push up against me. It’s an immediate relief. I slide back slowly, so slowly, and put a hand to her hip so she can’t shift. Then I push slowly back in, watching her face. There’s that little pout on her lips, that sexy as hell scrunch between her eyebrows. Two more slow strokes is all she can take before she’s panting and saying “please” and “fuck” and “more”.
I give her what she needs, what I’ve been needing for months, and pound into her. I feel the resistance as I hit against her cervix, and it sends thrills through me. When her grip tightens around me, and I feel the flutter of her orgasm, I let my control go and loose my own.
I gather her against my chest after I dispose of the condom. She runs her fingers through my chest hair, making little circles.
“I bought the school,” she announces.
“Say again?” I must not have heard her correctly.
“I bought the school from Mrs. Corbyn.”
“That’s fantastic!” I tell her, and her fingers stop moving.
“You really think so? You think I can do it?”
“I have zero doubt. You’re amazing with Emilie and Becca.”
“I”m changing the name to Tidepool Tots, cause it sounds like a military school right now. I want to offer some sponsorships to families who wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford the tuition,” she looks at me. “You know, like you pay for half of Kaylee’s.”
I don’t know why I’m surprised. Of course she would know if she’s seeing the financials.
“Angela doesn’t know, does she?”
“No, and I don’t think she needs to.”
“It’s okay. I saw the invoices go to you and not her. I left it that way.”
“She’s had it rough,” I say. “She deserves a break, and to not feel like she’s taking charity.”
“I get it. I just wanted you to know that I love that you’re doing that for her.”
“I had to fight with Kaiden for it, but he gave in when I told him, he could give her a car allowance.”
“You guys really do take care of your own!” Her fingers resume their circles.
“Fiercely!”
“I saw. On the cameras. I saw what you did for me. With Brayden.” Her hand travels down my chest following the narrow line of hair going from my navel down to... Oh!
“What do you mean?” I can’t concentrate on her words now. She’s running her fingers softly over my cock.
“Emilie showed me how to turn on the speakers. I heard what you said to him.” She’s circling her fingers around me now, and I’m not staying soft. ”I heard you call me your woman.” I feel her cheek move in a smile against my chest.
“You looked like all you wanted to do was pound him into the ground, but you talked to him instead. I know that was for me. I didn’t get a chance to say before, but... Thank you.”
“How... Mm. How is he adjusting?” Damn, I’m going to start stuttering in a second.
“There’s no contact for the first couple of months, but I haven’t heard anything negative.”
“Will you... Will you stay tonight?” I hold my breath for her answer. Her grip tightens as I grow harder.
“I don’t have a change of clothes.”
“If that’s your only argument, I...” I have to stop and breathe out for a moment. My body pushes into her hand. “I’m sure I have... Fuck. I have an old concert tee I can loan you.”
“Deal, but I get to choose.”
I laugh a little at her seriousness. “Sure, but I think I’ve got it figured out by now.”
“Oh, do you now?” Her voice drops to a whisper. “What else do you have figured out?”
I grab her leg and pull her over me. “That I’ll let you have your way with me.”
She grinds against me until she’s positioned with my tip just inside her. She slides down onto me. Oh, fuck.
She raises up and rocks her hips up and back, up and back. My hands trace the curve of her waist up to her breasts, and I hold them while she moves. Fuck, she’s beautiful. I’m so lucky she didn’t give up on me and move on to someone else, someone younger.
I release an angry, jealous growl with that thought. I push my hands down to her hips and pull her harder and faster until she’s holding a hand over her mouth to keep quiet and we’re orgasming together again.
It isn’t until I’m drifting off to sleep with my face buried in her hair that I realize we hadn’t used a condom.