Restrained (Sterling Family #3)

42. Lola

42

LOLA

I ’m afraid to be this happy. It’s almost scary. But I am. It’s spring, almost summer, and I’m lounging with Hayden out on my deck.

Viv and Baz seem settled here, and Baz is sleeping over at Nora’s tonight because Sawyer and Viv had a date tonight.

I heard them come in earlier, but Hayden and I stayed out here, giving them privacy.

It’s a beautiful night to look out over the ocean. “I think I prefer the ocean to the lake.”

He smiles, his arm wrapped around me. “I think I do too. But I wasn’t ever one for the lake anyway.”

I’m getting more and more used to going swimming with Baz here in my pool and with Hayden at his house.

I still think about Colt every single day, but it doesn’t seem to be as crippling as it once was. And I still make sure I say his name out loud.

“Asher call?”

I shake my head, my throat tight. He didn’t come to Thanksgiving or Christmas despite Mom offering for all of us to go there to him for Thanksgiving. He withdrew from the family even more and only really talks to Baz.

But true to his character and his word, he does call Baz at least once a week, so we know he’s alive.

His college graduation was yesterday. We have no idea if he actually graduated. Mom wanted to go so badly, but he told her not to.

He’s angry and alone. I hate it, but I have to keep faith that he’ll come to me because telling him what to do only backfired.

“No.”

He squeezes me tighter, knowing this is killing me. There’s a flash of lightning in the sky, and it starts to pour, encouraging us to get off the deck and go inside. The rain is pelting down, seemingly coming from nowhere, and we quickly find shelter in the kitchen.

“Damn, I didn’t even know it was supposed to rain.”

I laugh and grab a bottle of wine. “I didn’t either. I guess we should just go to bed.”

He grins, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling my body to his. “I guess so.”

The doorbell rings, and I look at the clock. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Maybe Baz wanted to come home.”

I hope not for Viv’s sake, although he might let me put him to bed. “I’ll get it.”

I walk toward the door and look through the peephole, my heart nearly stopping when I see Asher standing in the dark with rain falling down his face.

“Oh my God.” I pull open the door, seeing him completely drenched, his eyes cold. “Asher. Are you okay?”

“You said I could come to you anytime.”

“Of course.” I step back to give him room. “Get in here.”

He shakes his head, the rain falling over him. “I’m not here for a visit. I graduated yesterday.”

I feel some relief that he went through with the graduation even if he wouldn’t let us go. “Good. Come in. You’re getting soaked, and there’s lightning.”

“I don’t want to just stay for a few days. I want to stay for a while.” I feel a sickening feeling in my gut, my thoughts going to Viv. “And I want Baz here while I do.”

“Asher . . .”

He looks lost and sad with so much anger on his face I could weep. “You said you would help me with anything.”

“I’m not sure Viv will be comfortable with you living here, but I’ll try to talk to her... Maybe you could stay with Linc and Penelope.”

“No.”

“Asher . . . You have to get over?—”

“I need to live here.” His eyes are wet and not from the rain. “I’m asking you for your help. I need that kid in my life and not just occasionally. Not video chats. Not even next door. I need to be under the same roof as him. I need to do this for Colt and for me.”

Asher has never come right out and asked for anything.

“Asher . . . Just come in.”

“Not until you agree to let me live here. And talk her into staying too.”

“I can’t force her to do that.” Though I don’t want her to move out. I love having Baz and her here. “We’ll figure something out.”

I feel Hayden’s presence, although he doesn’t enter the living room. Asher must see him but he only looks at me. “I need this. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m drowning.”

I pull him to me in a tight hug, trying to hold back my own tears. “Okay. We’ll make this work. Just get your ass inside.”

He has one bag with him and walks inside, silently walking to the room he knows is the guest room.

I close the door and am joined by Hayden.

“Damn.”

I look up at him. He’s clearly as shocked as I am. “You said he would come to me.”

He kisses the tip of my nose. “Looks like we’re in for quite a ride.”

I look up at him. “I love when you say ‘we’.”

“We will always be a ‘we’ and an ‘us’.”

I kiss him, wrapping my arms around his neck, content and happy. Yet knowing without a doubt, he’s right. We have quite a battle ahead, although it’s not our fight.

I had one brother drown, I'll be damned if I let this one do the same.