7. Vivienne
7
VIVIENNE
O kay, the house is spotless. It’s all going to be fine. I look around the living room to confirm that not one toy has been left out and then walk into the kitchen. Nothing is out on the counters. They’re wiped clean. All the dishes are put away.
I open the refrigerator and check to make sure everything is in place and there are no spills because I know my mother will check.
Satisfied, I close the door and fly up the stairs to Baz’s room, which is also clean and tidy. I go into my room, doing another once-over and stop to look in the full-length mirror.
I smooth my khaki dress pants and then fasten the top button of my button-down blouse before using my hands to make sure there are no flyaways in my hair.
I apply lip gloss and then walk down to the bottom floor to make sure everything is clean there as well.
The gym looks good, and so does the theater. I walk down the hall to Asher’s room and smile from the doorway when I see him running a comb through Sebastian’s hair.
“You’re so good with him.” Asher turns his head slightly to look at me. “He rarely lets me comb his hair without a fight.”
Asher shrugs his shoulders as he stands from the bed and walks to me with smug confidence. “I bribed him. ”
I roll my eyes as Sebastian runs to hug me around the leg. “Mommy, is it dinnertime yet?”
I nod my head and smooth my hand over his hair, trying to remind myself to breathe. “Almost. Grandma and Grandpa should be here soon.”
“Pizza?” He looks up at me with wide hopeful eyes as I shake my head, crushing his little dreams.
“Not tonight sweetie. I made chicken.”
His little nose crinkles before he shrugs and runs out of the room.
Asher laughs, shaking his head and placing the comb on his dresser. I’m pleasantly surprised to see he dressed nicely for dinner—in slacks and a black button-down—without me having to ask him to.
Not that he really needed to, but it’s still a nice sentiment.
“What time are they supposed to be here?”
I look at the gold watch on my wrist, the one my parents gave me for Christmas this year. “Soon.”
Asher walks to me, placing both hands on my shoulders and looking down into my eyes. “Breathe, Viv. They’re your parents.”
“You have no idea what you’re in for.”
He laughs it off as we walk out to the main room of the basement and wrangle Baz up the stairs just in time for the doorbell to ring.
I brush my hair one more time with my fingers and open the door for my parents, who are both already wearing stern, judgmental looks. My dad in his three-piece suit and my mother wearing a knee-length dress with long sleeves and pearls around her neck.
“Mom. Dad.” I gesture behind me and move out of the way. “Come in.”
They both walk in, my mom clutching her purse to her as her intrusive eyes go to work, darting around the foyer and into the living room. “Vivienne.” My mom looks me up and down, and I can feel my breathing increase rapidly from her once-over. Her hands go to the ends of my hair as she shakes her head. “I wish you wouldn’t have cut your hair. You had the prettiest hair.”
My mother makes me want to crawl out of my own skin and be anyone else. She always has. “It’s easier to wear it to my shoulders with Sebastian. ”
Her nose lifts in the air, her chin always high and astute. “Well, maybe you can grow it out soon.”
I close the door behind my father as he joins us, looking around the house as if he expected it to be in a pile of rubble. He barely looks at me, which isn’t a surprise. He hasn’t looked me in the eye since I told them I was pregnant. “Everything up to par?”
He hasn’t been here since he took the tour six months ago. I nod. “Yes. It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Although it’s far too large for a single mother, her son, and even her son’s uncle, but yeah, it’s up to par.
I pick at my nails and didn’t realize I was doing it until my mother grabs my hands. “Vivienne. That’s a terrible habit.”
“Sorry, Mother.”
I catch Asher’s eye, complete with his curious eyebrow lift, and try to shake it off as I wave Sebastian over. “Come say hello, sweetheart.”
He stands in front of Asher and the hesitant look on his cute face makes my heart ache. This is why I had to get out of my parent’s home. My little boy is rambunctious, and my parents have no tolerance for it.
He waves at them and then tucks himself behind Asher’s large body, giggling as he hides. Asher waves a quick hello to my parents and is met with brief nods.
I plaster a fake smile on my face and tuck my hair behind my ear as I look to my mother. “Sebastian’s tired.”
She looks annoyed as she nods curtly. “Is dinner being delivered?”
I shake my head and motion for them all to follow me as I start toward the dining room and kitchen area of the home. “No, I baked chicken.”
“You did?” My mother looks shocked as they follow me into the dining room.
“I did. It wasn’t hard. I just looked up a recipe.” I nod toward the dining room table decorated with the brand-new china my parents provided. “Please, sit. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll help you.” Asher follows me into the kitchen with Sebastian on his heels.
I grab an oven mitt and open the oven door and feel Asher lean into my ear. “Damn, you weren’t kidding. Your parents are something else.”
I pull out the pan of chicken and place it on the stove, taking the mitt off and turning to face him, noticing the subtle woodsy cologne he’s wearing mixed with the minty smell of his breath. “I told you.”
“Cavity search next?”
I actually laugh at that and hand him two oven mitts. “Do you mind taking the chicken to the table?”
His grin makes him even more handsome as he does what I ask. “No problem.”
We all sit down to dinner, and Baz is just not having it tonight, jumping up and down on his chair and acting crazy. He’s three. I’m used to it, and honestly, I don’t mind his free spirit in the slightest. But I feel the daggers my mother is staring in my direction. “You know, Sebastian, you’ll never grow big and strong if you don’t sit down like a good boy and eat your peas.”
“Yuck.” Baz sits on his little butt but folds his arms and refuses to eat.
Asher leans into Baz and tickles his side. “It’s cool, buddy. I don’t like peas either, and I grew up to be huge.”
My mother’s eyes widen, and my father just shakes his head as I try like hell not to laugh. Of course, Baz finds Asher hilarious, and his little giggle fills the room. He looks right at my mother. “No peas. I want to be like Uncle Ash.”
My mother’s sight then lands right on Asher, who doesn’t quake in the slightest. “I’m sure your mother made you eat peas when you were younger.”
Please behave, Ash.
“Nah, she doesn’t like them either.”
Damn it.
I clear my throat and try to change the subject. “Sebastian, tell Grandma and Grandpa how much you’ve enjoyed the pool.”
“I love to swim!” Baz singsongs as he picks at his chicken with his tiny fingers.
“That’s good.” My father has his phone in his hand as he moves the chicken I made around with his fork, probably checking his business emails. “You might get some structure someday if you join the swim team at school.”
“Children need structure.” My mother’s eyes meet mine, and I feel everything she doesn’t have to say .
Telling me I need to force Sebastian to do more of what I say. To repress him.
“Mommy, can I go play?”
I look at his plate mostly untouched and sigh. “Are you sure you don’t want more to eat?”
“I’m full.” I recognize the whine in his voice, and I know he’s close to a meltdown. My parents are a lot, and they make him as tense as they do me.
“Okay, go ahead.”
He does a little happy dance as he runs off to the living room, and I can feel my parents’ disapproval from across the table.
“He’s going to want something else to eat in an hour, Vivienne.”
I lift my head and look at my mother. “Then I will make him something to eat.”
“He needs boundaries. He’s testing you. If you don’t set firm boundaries now, who knows what he will do when he’s older.”
I feel Asher tense from his chair next to Baz’s now empty seat. “He had a big lunch.”
My father meets Asher’s eyes now, actually lifting them from his phone. “Asher, I was surprised to hear that you wanted to move in with my grandson and my daughter.”
Asher takes a bite of mashed potatoes, not even a little intimidated, and I have no idea how he does it. My father is a shrewd negotiator and a ruthless businessman. He puts fear in people for a living to close multimillion dollar deals weekly. Everyone is afraid of him. But not Asher. “And why’s that?”
My father places his cellphone down, sitting up arrow-straight. “Because you’re a young, single college student. They aren’t your responsibility. So why move in?”
What the hell is he getting at ? Asher has been around since I told Lincoln about Sebastian. Granted, he rarely came to our house, so they haven’t been around each other much, but my father has known Asher has been helpful.
“Sebastian is my nephew.”
“Not your son.”
My father looks deadly serious. Asher places his fork on his plate and matches my father’s posture. “No. My brother died. ”
“So you’re just taking his place?”
Asher rarely gets flustered by anything, but the mention of Colt definitely riles him up. I see his jaw tense. “No. No one could ever take Colt’s place.”
“And yet, here you are.” My mother takes a sip of her wine, and my eyes dart to hers.
“What are you two implying?”
My father still won’t look at me, instead his eyes remain trained on Ash. “What exactly are you getting from all of this?”
Is he implying . . . ?
“You think I want sex?”
Now I want to die. I turn to Asher. “Ash.”
“Yes.”
I turn to look at my father in horror. “What?”
His cold, dark eyes meet mine for the first time in years. “Is it really that far-fetched, Vivienne? We know what you’re capable of. Clearly you have no self-control.”
I’m left stunned, and Asher is the only one able to speak up. “I would say Viv here has plenty of self-control.”
I turn to look at him and shake my head in warning. “Don’t.”
He looks straight ahead at my father. “I’m not here to get laid. I can do that anywhere in this town and in most towns.” Jesus, Asher. He leans forward. “I’m here because Sebastian is a kickass kid and your daughter is an amazing mother, but even the best moms need help. And she’s helping me out too just not with my dick.”
My cheeks flame, and I could kill all three of them in this moment. “Asher,” I hiss in a quiet warning.
My father straightens his tie, and it’s amazing, I’ve never seen him back down before. He’s the one that seems riled up. “Keep it that way.”
My voice is strained and almost a desperate whine, “Dad, it’s not like that. He’s here to help with his nephew.”
My father is no longer making eye contact as he picks his phone back up. “Yes well, two single people of the opposite sex under the same roof, Vivienne. Do not make the same mistake twice.”
I refuse to cry in front of them anymore. Referring to my beautiful son as a mistake makes me sick to my stomach.
I nod my head, my back painfully straight as I sit in the wooden chair and watch my parents exchange a look, my father giving my mother some sort of go-ahead before she turns to look at me. “We’re moving, Vivienne.”
They’ve both lived in Kansas City their entire lives. “What? Where are you moving?”
“New York. There’s more opportunity for your father’s business there, and since you and Sebastian have moved out against our advice, we have decided it’s time.”
They were so angry at me when I told them I wanted to move out, but in the end, they agreed to it. After a full year of me arguing my case and them giving in. “When?”
“In a couple of weeks.”
My mother’s eyes meet mine. “We’re finished cleaning up your messes. You wanted to be on your own. Now you are.”
They both stand up from the table, and on instinct, I stand as well. My mother continues to stare at me. I hate all the help I’ve accepted from them over the years. “I don’t expect you to.”
“Good. You can keep the house and your trust fund, but we won’t be helping you with your son anymore. You won’t listen to us anyway, so do not ask. We won’t be there to watch him, and if you decide to make another one,” her eyes land on Asher, “we will cut you off completely. Do not make the situation worse.”
I feel Asher stand next to me as I hold my hand up, praying he will take the hint and not say a word.
“I understand.”
I can hear Asher stewing, dying to say something, but thankfully he doesn’t. My mother nods, and I walk my parents to the door.
“Are you going to say goodbye to Sebastian?”
“Give him a kiss for me,” my mother says, brushing my hair over my shoulder. She was never good with affection. “We love you, but it’s extremely hard to watch you make mistake after mistake.”
I cringe, feeling the bile rise in my throat thinking about the last four years, really my whole life, of never being able to make them happy.
Always a disappointment in their cold, steely eyes.