Restrictions (Sterling Family #2)

14. Vivienne

14

VIVIENNE

W ell that was insanely awkward, and the car ride to the restaurant is even worse, filled with silence and the occasional small talk about the weather and the construction on the road to the restaurant.

When we’re seated and have ordered, the awkward level is just ratcheted up high when William grips the back of his neck, clears his throat and says, “So, you’re a mom.”

I nod my head slowly and take an anxious sip of water. “Yes. Obviously, I was young when I got pregnant.”

“Yeah. And the dad? Is he in the picture?”

“No.” I place my napkin in my lap. “He died in an accident before Sebastian was born.”

“That’s awful.” He’s seems genuine in his questioning, and I have to give him credit for not running out to his car in my driveway and taking off, but maybe he’s just too nice to do that.

“It was.”

“And Asher is his brother?”

I nod. “Yes. He’s been a godsend, really. Helped a lot.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine you have a lot of free time.”

That’s definitely true. “I mean, I’m still human. I have to make some time for myself.”

At least that’s what people, the news, talk shows, parenting articles, and Asher all tell me.

“That’s true. I just didn’t think you would have too much free time at all. Three-year-olds have a ton of energy from what I’ve seen.”

I don’t get the impression he’s been around too many kids.

They bring our food out, and we eat mostly in silence, but slipping in some conversation about school. He pays the check and then drives me home.

“I had fun tonight. Thank you for going out with me, Vivienne.”

I can feel the brush-off coming. The restaurant took us over thirty minutes to get to. We waited nearly an hour to be seated and then another forty-five minutes for our dinner. We’ve been gone almost three hours, and in that time, we talked for maybe twenty minutes.

This date was most certainly not fun.

It was boring. He was bored. I was bored. And it all started when he saw I was a mother. I despise the fact that Asher was right.

I take a deep breath and place my hand on the door handle, ready for this date to be over, but something else washes over me. The need to be clear and honest as I drop my hand and turn to William. “No. It wasn’t fun.”

His eyes widen as he looks at me, panicked by my abrupt honesty. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Me having a kid is a lot.”

“I’m twenty-one. I didn’t picture becoming a dad for another ten years.”

I nod. “Right, but you aren’t becoming a dad. We could have talked about movies. Or...I don’t know, your last vacation.”

“Where was your last vacation?”

I think about that. “Sea World in San Antonio. Sebastian was really into dolphins over the summer.”

He nods. “Cool. I went to Europe.”

I stare at him and feel like a total moron. What was I thinking? I actually let out an honest to god laugh, and now he looks even more alarmed.

“Are . . . Are you okay?”

I laugh again and shake my head. “You’re totally right. We would never work. Like ever. You probably love going to parties on the weekend, and I take my kid to the zoo or children’s museums. The last movie I watched was The Lion King and we had to leave the theater half-way through because Sebastian was over it.” I place my hand over my chest and laugh again, but it’s getting less funny. “The last book I read was Paw Patrol . We have nothing in common.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous. And great.”

I laugh again. “You have no idea who I am.”

He looks saddened by that, but he can’t argue. He didn’t want to get to know me after he found out I was a mom. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” I turn to face him, putting my hand back on the door handle. “Don’t be. You could have done something way worse tonight and didn’t.”

“Like what?”

“Like lead me on and make me think there was a future.”

“I wouldn’t do that. Anyone who dates you dates your kid too, and I’m an asshole but not that big of an asshole. I’m not mature enough to date a single mom, and I know it.”

“I can appreciate that.”

“I did have a good time, Vivienne.”

I smile and open the door. “Thank you for dinner.”

I close the car door, not wanting to hear anything more from William as I find my keys in my purse.

I can’t believe how na?ve I was. I shake my head at my own stupidity and unlock the door quietly. It’s almost eleven, and I sure hope that Asher has put Sebastian to bed by now. The porch light was on, but when I walk inside the house, I’m in darkness.

I listen for any signs of Baz being awake and sigh in relief when I don’t hear a peep. I love that little boy more than life, but I need a minute.

I put my purse down and go into my kitchen, flipping on the dim light below the microwave and grab a bottle of Barefoot Moscato wine from my fridge, kicking off my heels, unscrewing the cap and sliding down to the kitchen floor, taking a drink from the bottle.

I feel stupid and ashamed, hating that Asher knew what he was talking about and the fact that I look like a fool.

Maybe dating is just off the table for me for a while .