Restrictions (Sterling Family #2)

40. Vivienne

40

VIVIENNE

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

“ B az! Come on, sweetheart!”

I run down the stairs and look under the couch for my other sandal. I could have sworn I put it by the front door, but Baz loves to play with my shoes.

“Where the hell is my shoe?”

I feel something pressing against my ass and turn around, looking at Asher’s smiling face as he presses my shoe against me.

I climb up from the floor and sit on the couch, taking my sandal from Asher and placing it on my foot. “Thank you.”

He laughs. “No problem. Where are you going?” He flops down on the couch, and my heart clenches slightly in my chest thinking about the answer. Not wanting to lie to him.

Somehow after the night I sobbed in his arms for what seemed like hours after confessing my love for him, we managed to move forward.

We truly went back to where we started. We’ve been friends.

Yes, I'm sure he has hooked up with plenty of chicks since then because that’s what Asher does, but he’s been respectful.

He hasn’t had any girls over here, and we don’t talk about it.

And we haven’t fallen back in old habits either. I’ve actually been fairly smart, and I know without a doubt that I can’t let him touch me .

I needed space to clear my head, but I couldn’t take him away from Baz. I just couldn’t.

I clear my throat, not wanting to ruin the calm we’ve found. I graduated last month and as of right now, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with my life other than spend time with Baz. Asher is on summer break, and he’s been teaching Baz how to play baseball and soccer.

It’s already been such a great summer, but I can feel the storm coming, and I stand, smoothing the black fabric of my shorts. “The zoo.”

He nods, his bottom lip pushed out as he slouches on the couch. “Cool.” But I know I'm acting weird as Baz flies down the stairs and meets us.

“Is Swearer here?”

His eyes are wide and excited, but Asher’s are full of suspicion and confusion as his head swivels to look at me. “Sawyer’s going to the zoo with you guys?”

My throat is dry, and I feel twitchy and uncomfortable under his scrutiny. I turn to Baz. “Please go get your hat. It’s sunny today.”

He huffs and then runs back up the stairs as I turn toward Asher and take a deep breath, answering his question. “Yes. He is.”

Asher stands, his lean, muscular body stalking toward me. “Since when does Sawyer go to the zoo?”

I shrug and walk toward the kitchen with Asher following behind me, waiting for me to answer. “Since I mentioned we were thinking about going when he was here Tuesday.”

His brow furrows. “Sawyer wasn’t here Tuesday.”

I look down at the tote bag on the counter, the one I fill with sunscreen, snacks, water, Band-Aids, and everything else I can think of. “He was.”

“I wasn’t.”

I shake my head slowly and lift my eyes to look at Asher. “No...”

“What the fuck, Viv?” HIs eyes darken, and I feel my heart race. My palms dampen with my nervousness. I knew this wouldn’t go well.

How could it?

“Asher . . .”

He shakes his head from side to side. “What the hell? Are you fucking him? ”

His rash question catches me off guard as my eyes widen, and I shush him, hoping Baz is still up in his room. “Keep your voice down.”

“Tell me.”

“No.” My heart rate hasn’t slowed as I look into his beautiful eyes. I didn’t mean for this to happen. When everything went back to normal, so did hanging out with Sawyer, and he picked up on the awkwardness right away and called us out on it.

We both told him that it was over, and he in his own Sawyer way called bullshit, but he continued to come around.

Somehow, Sawyer and I ended up alone, talking more and more. Until he would come over not to see Asher or Baz, but to hang out with me.

It started as a friendship, but Tuesday, he asked me on a date, a single-mother-approved date to the zoo with the kid he really likes too.

And I didn’t say no.

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” It’s a growl, and it sends a shiver down my spine, feeling his possessiveness but knowing he doesn’t have any right to it.

“I’m not lying.”

“Then what the fuck is this?” He gestures toward my tote.

“We’re going on a date. With Baz.” I make sure I lower my voice. “There will be no fucking.”

“Not till after.” His gaze is intense, and I’m afraid it will ignite me.

“We’re allowed to date. Remember?” I round the counter and stand near him, even if it’s dangerous.

“Not my best fucking friend.”

I feel awful about that fact, and it is a fact. Sawyer and he have been friends for a long time, and I know this isn’t fair. “I swear to you, I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it just...”

I watch his chest, and see he’s actually panting with rage. “What? It just what? Did he touch you?”

“Asher . . .” It’s a tired sigh.

“Did he?” The heat coming from him is almost too much to take, and I have to take a step back, only for him to move forward, and my back hits the edge of the counter.

“You can’t ask me that. I haven’t asked you about what you do when you’re not here. ”

“But he’s been here.” His eyes lower over my body, lingering and then slowly making their way back to mine. “Have you let him touch you?”

“It’s a date. We’re going on a date.”

“With Baz.”

“With Baz,” I repeat.

He looks pale as he moves away from me and sits at the kitchen island on one of the barstools. “Are you trying to punish me?”

I shake my head and my feet stay firmly planted. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but I do like him.”

I didn’t see that coming. I never thought Sawyer was into me. I never thought I would be interested in him, but he’s witty and charming, and obviously devastatingly handsome.

“He didn’t tell me.”

“He wanted to.” I take one step closer to him, his elbow resting on the countertop, his head propped up on his hand. He looks stunned. “I wanted to see how the date went.”

His laugh is cold and bitter as he turns to look at me, dropping his hand, his eyes cruel. “Have to make sure he can offer the good D before you wreck our friendship?”

I swallow, surprised by his words. “I’m not going to sleep with him.”

Again, that fucking prick-laugh comes out of his mouth, one that turns my stomach because it’s so not him. “Right.” He stands and moves a mere foot from me. “It’s been what? Seven months since you’ve had a good fucking?” His hand rises to my cheek as he lets the backs of his fingers graze my skin, sending a thrill through my traitorous body. “You have to be craving touch again.”

I swipe his hand away, my lips curling in a snarl. “Not from you.”

I watch his jaw tick, and I know that stung, but he recovers fast. “Well, he should be decent. He’s had plenty of practice.”

“Like you.”

He’s about to say something hateful. I can tell by the anger flashing over his beautiful features, but we both turn when we hear, “Mommy,” coming from the doorway, and I see Baz with his hat on, waiting for me. “When is Swearer going to be here?”

“Fuck this.” The curse is under Asher’s breath and quiet enough as he exits through the kitchen door and slams it shut .

Baz looks slightly confused as he looks at me, and I fight back tears. “Where did Uncle Asher go, Mommy?”

I shrug and plaster a smile on my face, grabbing the tote bag and slinging it over my shoulder. “Let’s go wait for Sawyer out front.”

Baz comes along, having no idea what just happened.

I glance over my shoulder and don’t see any sign of Asher, but I do hear the engine start and his car peeling out of the drive before Baz and I reach the front door.

He doesn’t love me.

I have no idea where things will go with Sawyer. Or if they will go beyond a day at the zoo, but I can’t just put my life on pause and wait for Asher to maybe someday love me back.

I won’t do that to myself.