Chapter 13
Ilet out a cry, and without thinking, I rammed my knee upward, anything to break the man’s grip. I didn’t hit him directly, but it was enough that his hold loosened, and I tore myself out of his arms, only to be immediately enfolded in another pair, pressed against another hard body, and I started to struggle.
“Calm down,” Ian said in a rough voice. “It’s just me.”
I sagged against him in relief as unexpected tears filled my eyes, and his arms were safe around me. I was shaking, I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t simply the filthy words of the man, it was the cold, implacable evil in his voice, so at odds with his angelically handsome face.
“I want to go home,” I whispered against his chest.
“We will,” he said, his low voice vibrating in his chest, beneath my ear. “But first, you need to tell me what that man said.”
I shivered, and his arms tightened, and I felt some of my panic begin to slip away. “Just ...horrible things. Sexual things.”
I waited for him to tell me it was my fault, for throwing myself at everyone, for wearing the wrong clothes, for enjoying myself too much, but he said nothing, just holding me against him as my fear and disgust began to fade.
“Is he still here?” Ian said.
I didn’t want to lift my head from the safety of Ian’s chest, but after a moment I did so, looking at the dancers surrounding me. I pressed my cheek against him once again. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“I’ll take you home.” He started to release me, but I held on, not wanting to let go.
“Give me a minute,” I said, and if he hadn’t dropped his head down, close to mine, he wouldn’t have heard me. He smelled wonderful, of warm skin and olive trees and the nearby ocean, and I wanted to drink him in. I no longer cared who I was, who knew it. All I wanted to be was a woman wrapped safely in Ian’s arms, safe from unnamable threats.
The man hadn’t gone. I couldn’t see him anywhere as Ian bundled me out of the taberna, but I could feel his eyes on me, cold and merciless. I took a quick look back as we left, and I saw him then, staring at me with cold, implacable hatred in his eyes, and if felt like a body blow.
“What?” Ian said, close enough to feel my reaction. “Do you see him?”
“No.” I didn’t want Ian to get anywhere near him. Ian was a lot taller, and probably stronger, but the evil was so palpable in that man that even Ian might be contaminated. Besides, I didn’t need Ian to fight my battles. I had to remember he wasn’t on my side.
Even if I wanted him to be.
The Mercedes looked boxed in by the other cars, but Ian tucked me into the passenger seat with surprisingly tender hands, and then proceeded to drive out of the tiny space without touching any of the nearby cars. The warm spring night spread out in front of us, but I couldn’t feel it. I was cold inside the car, and wrapping my arms around my body wasn’t doing me any good as I shivered.
I tried to tighten my muscles, to keep from shaking, but I was already stiff from fright and disgust. I needed to get home, get away from everyone, and then I’d be all right. Up until then I simply needed to be calm in front of Ian, act like it didn’t matter.
And then I started crying. Fuck! Bella would never cry, Bella would laugh at anyone who tried to frighten her like that. She wouldn’t have missed his balls when she kneed him; she would have laughed and had another drink and gone on to the next man.
And I was sitting in the darkness beside Ian, shivering and crying like a baby. I could only thank God that he didn’t notice.
We were halfway up the deserted road to Mariposa, and I knew I’d manage as long as he didn’t look at me, as long as he didn’t express any sympathy. Not that Ian the Wretch ever felt sympathy, at least not for my sorry ass. Bella’s sorry ass. I surreptitiously wiped the tears from my face, trying not to sniff.
We’d almost made it home when he suddenly jerked the steering wheel to the right, slamming the car into one of the passing places on the road, shoving it into park and turning to glare at me. “Why are you crying?” he demanded, and for some reason, there was real anger in his voice.
I shrank back against the passenger door. I’d had enough, and I couldn’t fight back—Bella had left the building. “I’m not,” I said stiffly.
He’d undone his seatbelt, and he reached over and flicked mine open before I realized what he was doing, and then he’d pulled me into his arms.
“Damn you, no!” I sobbed, burrowing against his chest. “I’m f-f-fine!” And then I couldn’t say anything at all as I wept. I hated it, I hated the weakness, the vulnerability that was wracking me, I hated the real terror I’d felt in that man’s arms, I hated the real comfort I felt in Ian’s. In a moment, he would push me away, mock me, tease me, and I thought I would shatter if he did.
He didn’t. He kissed me. He kissed my face, wet with tears, his mouth warm and hard against my mine, he kissed my eyelids, my cheekbones, and then my mouth, and this time I kissed him back, my fists tight in his shirt, feeling his strong body beneath my fingers, and I pulled at it, wanting it off.
He pulled back, suddenly. “Don’t!” he said.
I felt as though I’d been slapped in the face, and I froze. I needed to get away from him, get away from the lies, the deceptions, the old insecurities, and I fumbled for the door, managing to get it open before he reached over me and hauled me back, closing it once more. “Stop being a baby, Bella-Beast.”
It was the last straw. I hit at him, trying to break free, but he was too strong, overpowering me, holding me on his lap, and I could feel how hard he was beneath me, I knew how turned on he was, and it made no sense. But it aroused me. “Stop it,” he said again, in a different voice.
Neither of us moved, staring into each other’s eyes for a long breathless moment. What would Bella do, I thought dazedly, but my doppelganger was nowhere. And I found my voice.
“Make up your mind, Ian. Do you hate me or want me?” My voice was raw but my words were clear.
“Can’t I do both?” Releasing my arm, he slid his hand behind my neck, under the thick fall of hair, and pulled my face to his, my mouth to his, and this time he used his tongue.
I wanted to kiss him back. I wanted to straddle him on the front seat of the Mercedes; I wanted him to fuck the fear, the hurt, the lies out of me.
But he’d said no, and I wasn’t going to get hurt again. I pulled away, and he made no effort to stop me this time. “Please take me home,” I said. My voice was weaker than I would have liked, but I couldn’t summon my righteous anger any more than I could summon Bella. “Please.”
Without another word, he put the car into gear, and I realized with shock that the motor had been on all this time. Clearly, he hadn’t been that blinded by passion.
We reached the deserted stable yard in less than five minutes, and I was out of the car before he could stop me, putting distance between us. “I can’t say it’s been lovely.” My voice was brittle. “Let’s not do this again.”
“You’re forgetting one thing,” he drawled, totally unmoved by my iciness.
“What’s that?”
“Someone threatened you tonight. There’s no one you annoy anyone more than me, and yet I don’t want to hurt you. I want to know who does, and why.”
“What a compliment. The man was probably just drunk.” But I shivered, remembering the specificity of his words. He knew me, he knew what would terrify me, he knew...
And it wasn’t until that moment that I finally realized the patently obvious. He’d been threatening Bella, not me. I almost sagged with relief.
“If you believe that, then you’re a bigger idiot that I thought you were,” Ian said. “You wouldn’t be so freaked out by some random drunk.”
“Aren’t you going to tell me I was asking for it, dancing with everybody, shaking my ass for the hoi polloi?” I snapped.
He shook his head. “Not likely. Particularly since you were shaking your ass for me, not anyone else.”
He’d finally managed to silence me, but only for a moment. “I hate you.”
“I know you do. Now go up to your room before things get out of hand.”
I was more than ready to get away from him. “Get out of hand?” I was fool enough to question.
“Before I take you to bed and finish what we’ve started. It’s only a matter of time, no matter how much I try to avoid it, but it’s been a long day and I don’t feel like dealing with you tonight.”
Very calmly, I stepped out of my heels, very calmly, I threw them at him, one after the other, one hitting him square in the face, and then I turned and stalked, barefoot, into the house.