Return To You: A Small Town, Second Chance Romance

28. Grace

twenty-eight

My body hits the water with a punishing slap, the cold seizing me. So many of my memories of Ethan are tied to the water—this very place on the river, and the lake. I need to shake the funk, wash away the tears threatening to spring, the regrets I no longer have any reason to have.

What only matters right now is swimming back up to the surface, taking a deep breath, calming my heart beat, being happy. I open my eyes and look up, to the liquid ceiling, Ethan’s silhouette, the sun behind him. In a few strokes, I break to the surface right when he dives at a safe distance from me, then comes up, shaking the water droplets off his hair.

We look at each other and laugh. He swims up to me. “You always liked the water.”

I used to, it’s true.

Then he cups my head and brings his lips to mine. Pulls my body into his. I wrap my legs around his waist. “You know,” he says, “this is the exact spot where I broke up with Amy.”

I really don’t want to be talking with Ethan about Amy. “Oh yeah?” Especially if he remembers where he broke up with her. Jesus. TMI.

“Yeah.” He runs his hands along my back. “Because of you.”

“Oh please.” Really?

“She’d been mean to you… and I didn’t like it. At all. You were what? Fourteen? It was the summer before college for me.”

Something stirs inside me. I remember that time. She’d been constantly teasing me… Ethan runs a finger on my chin and says, “I couldn’t stand to see how she was hurting you.”

“I really don’t remember that,” I lie.

“Yeah, you do. You just don’t want to talk about it. And neither do I. But you should know, that’s what happened. It was always about you.”

“Ethan, I was a baby.”

He growls. “Doesn’t matter.” He nibbles on my lower lip, making me squirm in his arms, and I feel him grow against my center. “You were my person. Always were. Always will be.”

“Ethan…”

He kisses my forehead. “That’s just the way it is.” His eyes go dark, then sunny as he grins wide at me. “Swim to the other side?”

We spend the rest of our time at the river swimming, kissing, exploring the riverbanks. At one point, we let ourselves drift too far downstream. The current is too strong to swim back up, so we resort to hobbling over the river stones.

When we get back to our spot, Ethan pulls me up the flat stone and onto his lap. “You’re a tough cookie. Come here.” He situates me so he can reach my feet, and starts giving the gentlest foot massage.

“God that feels good.”

“Mmm. Better than… other places?”

“Almost.” I watch him gently rub my sore soles. “I never gave you a proper massage.”

“Um. Excuse me? I think you did.”

“That was not a proper massage.”

“What was it then?”

“First off, it was a mini massage. Second, it was… a little on the angry side. On my part.”

He stops massaging my feet and pulls me to him. His tongue slides into my mouth, his hand under my bikini top, then he rolls on his back, taking me with him. “Fuck, I want you right now. Right here.”

I stand and pull him up and show him the way. Under the flat stone is a cavity where shallow water flows in and out. It’s the cleanest spot and totally private.

“Was this always here?” he asks.

“Couple of storms created this cavity, maybe two, three years ago.”

“And you were keeping this all to yourself?” he groans, setting me gently on my back. “Fuck, Grace, I can’t seem to get enough of you.”

I close my eyes, keeping this precious confession forever in my heart. “Same,” I breathe into his neck. “Take it off,” I say, tugging at his swim trunks. He shakes them off and pulls my bikini off. Ethan’s face is already between my legs, laving my folds, making me moan, his noises mingling with the lapping of the water under our bodies. He brings himself above me and enters me slowly. “You okay?” he whispers.

“God, you feel so good.”

He groans and thrusts himself powerfully inside me.

“Yes! Ethan. Ohmygod. Ethan!”

“You’re so wet for me, aren’t you? So wet and tight.” His torso rubs against my bare skin, pushing me hard against the soft river bed.

“Hold me, please, hold me tight,” I beg against his neck, wrapping my legs around him, pulling him into me, my fingernails digging into his back.

“Yeah, baby. Mark your man.”

I curl my fingers on his lower back, pulling him closer inside me.

“That’s it, sunshine.”

I come at his words, clenching around him as he empties himself inside me in forceful thrusts, the sound of his grunts and my wailing making me come even harder.

He rolls to his back and pulls me on top of him. “You gotta stop doing that. My balls hurt.”

I go to sit up, but he holds me firmly against him. “Doing what?” I ask, horrified. Ohmygod, I am such a klutz! I feel myself blush in embarrassment.

His fingers trail on my back until he cups my bare ass with a full hand. “Being so fucking sexy. I just… I just wanna have you all the time.”

“And that… that hurts your balls?”

“Looks like it. Too much sex.”

Too much sex? Looks like it? Does he not have sex marathons on the regular? I would have sworn… Mmm… this new bit of information finds a nice little spot in my mind and promises to sit on a shelf where I can see it. Empowered by this knowledge, I wiggle against him and feel him harden under me. Nice.

His stomach growls and I lift my face to his. “When it’s not you it’s me. Hungry?”

“I guess. If I’m not gonna eat you…”

“I thought your balls hurt.”

“They do. Come on, lets go.”

I lift myself off him and look around. “Ethan?”

“Mm?”

“Where are our swimsuits?”

“Um… didn’t you have’em?”

“Ohmygod.” I crawl to the downstream side of the grotto. Nothing. Nothing at all. “Um… okay. Bad news.”

“Commando?”

Looks like it. I peek out the opening of the cave. “Other bad news.”

“That was a nice bikini. I’m gonna miss it.”

“No, but really.”

“What?”

“There’re people on the other side. I can hear them.”

“Fuck. Lemme see?” He crouches next to me. “Shit, are these… these the kids from camp?”

“Yeah. Only the boys, though. Looks like you’re it.”

“I’m it?”

“Yeah. You get to crawl naked up there and get our clothes.”

He sighs but lets out an amused chuckle. “Okay then.”

Standing upright, he leans his upper body outside the cave. “Yo, guys!”

“Hey, Coach! Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. I just need you to turn around for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Don’t want to permanently damage your retinas.”

“Coach! Are you naked?”

“Just turn around. Or watch at your own risk. No girls with you?”

“No…”

Ethan hoists himself up the flat stone. Moments later he comes back down with my clothes.

“Coach, you’re not alone?”

“Coach, who is it?”

I giggle as I slide inside my shorts and sandals and button up my blouse. “Is it see-through?”

Ethan makes an appreciative face. “It’s… very nice. Might wanna keep your back to the peanut gallery across from us, though.”

I wrap my towel around my neck and pull up the sides to cover my breasts. “That’ll do.”

We exit our hiding place under the boys’ claps and whistles. “I knew it! I called it!” they shout over the roar of the river.

I blow them a kiss, hurry to the top of the hill, and hop on Ethan’s bike.

When we pull up my driveway, he stays on the bike. I have a little pinch in my stomach. But all good things must come to an end. “I had fun…” I start.

He pulls me against him. “Pick me up at the farm in an hour? I hear there’s a pub in town, the Lazy something, they make decent burgers.” He smiles against my mouth then strokes his tongue inside my lip. “I just need underwear,” he chuckles.

Butterflies flutter all the way down my toes and up to my scalp. “You wanna go to Lazy’s together?” Going to my favorite place with my favorite person? Things are getting dangerously perfect.

“Unless you want to go somewhere else? Whatever you want.” He cups my ass in his hand and growls slightly. “I better go.”

When I get to my bedroom, I notice his small backpack still on the floor. He didn’t take it back. I shower off the sand from the river, singing the whole time.

Half an hour later, I’m at the farm. Lynn and Craig are sitting on the front porch, sipping iced coffee. They both greet me with warm smiles as I come up the steps.

“Isn”t nice not to have to sneak around anymore?” Craig cracks.

Lynn elbows him, and a drop of coffee lands on his shirt.

“What?” he says. “About time these kids know they don’t fool no one.”

Lynn pats the chair near her. “Come, sit.” There’s a third glass of coffee on the wicker table. Lynn fills it with ice cubes from an ice bucket and hands me the glass. “Here. This one’s for you.”

I take a sip in silence, awaiting an interrogation. Jokes. Some sort of expression of whatever mood they are in. Nothing comes. “It’s so quiet,” Lynn finally whispers. She leans her head on the back of her chair and closes her eyes. “Enjoy the quiet times, darling. Before you know it, you’ll be like me. A house full of shouting, fighting boys.” With a sweet smile contradicting what she says next, she adds, “If the universe is mean enough, you’ll have a girl, too, just to ensure you can never find your clothes or your makeup in the morning. And forget about ever having perfume. That thing’ll be gone just like that.” She snaps her fingers.

Ethan’s silhouette appears in the doorway. He leans on the frame, crosses one bare foot over the other, and looks at me tenderly. “I see you’re getting the King Family pregnancy protection talk.” His voice does funny things inside me. It’s the first time I can look at Ethan the way I always wanted to and not have to hide it. It’s the first time I’m at Ethan’s place and I’m in a… situation with him.

And it definitely is the first time he prowls toward me in front of his parents, lifts me, and sits me on his lap. “Are you drinking my coffee?” he says with a smile.

Lynn’s eyes are open and on both of us, wonder in her gaze. She reaches for Craig’s hand and pats it.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, honey,” Craig says. “Give the kids some space.”

She closes her eyes again. “Alright, alright.”

Ethan pulls my back snug against his front and hands me the coffee. We sip from the same glass, watching the cows grazing in the distance, the breeze playing in the maple trees, monarchs fluttering from milkweed to zinnias to coneflowers. Ethan’s hand plays in my hair, his breath tickling my neck. I turn my head to the side, where the swing sways slightly. How many times did I sit there, dreams in my head? Look at me now, I internally whisper to the little girl from the past. Look at me now.

She smiles back at me.

At Lazy’s, Ethan picks a booth in the back and slides in next to me. Haley comes to our table to take our order. One look at us, and she’s sitting across from us. “Finally. Fucking finally!” Leaning over the table, she grabs my face and loudly kisses my cheek. “Damn it.” Then, turning to Ethan, says, “What took you so long?”

Ethan blushes, suppresses a smile but doesn’t quite succeed, and looks down at the menu.

Haley reaches over and takes the menu from him. “Regulars don’t look at the menu. Either you know what you want or you ask Shane to pick for you.”

“Burger.”

“Burger,” I echo.

Haley frowns. “Huh. You never order the burger. What happened?”

I lift my eyebrows at my friend. “I’m hungry?”

Pink tints her cheeks. “Gotcha.” She stands and snaps the menu from Ethan. “Lemme get out of here before you overshare.”

“Don’t overask,” Ethan calls after her.

“Overask what?” Justin asks as he appears at our table, his girlfriend Chloe tucked under his arm.

I’ve never seen my friend this truly happy, and it sends happy vibes down to my toes. Chloe is beaming. Those two really deserve to be happy together.

“You guys coming tomorrow, right?” Justin asks, his hand playing with Chloe’s hair. She turns to him, a dreamy smile on her face. Ethan looks down at me, the same dreamy look in his gaze.

It’s scary.

“Going where?” Kiara says as she slides across from me in our booth.

“Barbecue at my parents’,” Justin answers. “Mom wants a small family dinner.”

My belly clenches. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of, but it’s way too soon.

“Oh, how cute!” Kiara says, “Family barbecue with the two older King brothers finally hitched.”

Chloe blushes while I dip my chin to avoid the stares.

“Oops. Too soon?” Kiara asks.

Ethan places a comforting hand down my back, as if he can read my unease. We haven’t talked about the future yet, or about what we are to each other right now. We’ve covered the past, although barely, and the part that’s clear is that we messed up and never should have broken up. But life went on for both of us after that, we went our different paths, and you can’t always just retrace your steps. Just because we’re loving every second of our time together doesn’t mean we can skip some steps.

“You mess up again, Grasshopper?” Colton says as he joins our group.

“Story of my life,” Kiara answers, rolling her eyes. “Is my car ready?”

“Are my cupcakes ready?” Colton shoots back.

“Ugh. Okay, gotta go bake, guys. Keep me posted,” she says to me as she leaves.

“Kiara, wait up!” Chloe says, following her.

“I’ll check on your order,” Justin says, leaving the three of us alone.

Colton sits in the spot Kiara vacated. “Wassup,” he says, looking at Ethan.

“She’s making you cupcakes?” I tease my brother.

He shrugs. “For this girl I’m seeing.”

Oh. “Is it serious?”

He frowns at me like I’m crazy. “No.”

That’s my brother. Few words. Nice. “Wassup, man?” he repeats to Ethan once our burgers are served.

“Not much,” Ethan says and tears a bite off his burger. “Want a beer?”

Colton doesn’t answer, just stares at Ethan.

“What’s up with you?” Ethan finally asks, as confused as me.

“If you’re gonna keep taking my sister on your bike,” Colton finally says, “I want to check that rattle.”

Ethan breaks into a smile. “Gotcha.”

“Keys.”

“Now?” Ethan takes his keys out. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Colton snaps the keys from him, prowls outside, starts the bike and crouches next to it.

Ethan takes his eyes off Colton and looks at me. “Colton was always super protective of you.” He clears his throat, opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, then stays silent.

“What?”

“Nah, nothin’.”

I set my burger on my plate and stare him down. “What.”

He clears his throat again. “Way back then, your dad… went to talk to my dad… about us.”

I stiffen. They knew? I kinda got that from Craig, earlier, at the farm. But I certainly never suspected our parents talked about us.

“Dennis wasn’t happy about it. To say the least. My dad told him he trusted me, and he didn’t like to mingle into his children’s… lives. Or that aspect of their life, unless something was really wrong. And he didn’t see anything wrong with us.”

My anger flares up at the idea of Dad going to talk to Craig. “When was that?”

“After I graduated college. You were eighteen. The reason I remember is that…” He takes a long draw on his drink.

“Yes?”

“We hadn’t kissed yet. Or rather,” he adds with a small smile, ”I hadn”t kissed you yet. And… it made me hesitate for maybe… half a second?”

I’m woozy from his last words, but anxiety knots me over what happened with my dad. “Why? What did he tell you?”

“In no uncertain words, to stay away from you.”

What?! “That’s crazy. When? How?”

“I had just gotten back from college. I came by your house to see you, but you were out. He told me there was no point in me coming to see you. Next day, he showed up at the farm.” Ethan pauses, an uneasy look on his face.

“He was drunk,” I whisper, stating the obvious to ease him into telling me everything. We’ve never discussed our parents before. Not like that.

“After my dad told him to cool it, he threatened to file charges.”

Blood leaves my face. “What?! Charges for what?”

“Nothing that would have made sense, even less held in court. But your dad… at the time he was…”

He was a mean drunk. I blush in shame at the memories. There’s a reason I never talked about it with Ethan. I was too ashamed. Even now, realizing he knew, I don’t know how I really feel about it. I’m proud of Dad for going through rehab. For being years sober. But the stigma of who he was, back then, the mean things he would say to Mom, the unfair way he would treat Colton. All this slaps me in the face.

“What did he do?” I whisper.

“He ordered me to stay away from you. And he brought Colton along.”

I frown. “Colton?”

“First I thought it was because Dennis still had enough wits about him to not drive drunk, and he wanted Colton behind the wheel. And maybe that was the reason, initially. But then he told Colton, ordered him, to report anything suspicious going on between the two of us. He said it in front of me, so I knew my friend was ordered to spy on me.”

My heart hammers and my eyes well. That was the sort of manipulation Dad would get into when he was drunk. Which at the time, was… always. He’d threaten. Destroy friendships. Almost destroyed our family, until Mom threatened to walk out on him.

Fun times.

The lump in my throat isn’t going anywhere. My heart clenches. Sweet, sweet Colton never said anything to me. “He never would have said a thing.”

“I know. I just couldn”t risk getting him in trouble, if word got out. And at the time, I knew—well, I thought I’d have you all to myself at some point in the near future. That it was just a matter of time and there was nothing Dennis could do. I could wait a little.”

I pinch my lips, battling the resentment growing inside me. Dad has fought hard to become a better person. I can’t fault him for the sins of a past he’s trying to atone for.

“I’m glad he’s better, Grace. I really am. I only brought this up because… I guess, seeing Colton so protective of you—it brought back memories.”

“I’m glad you told me too… all this time, I really believed you weren’t really that much into me. That you were ashamed, hiding me because I was still too young for you.”

Ethan looks at me in shock. “I built you a treehouse. You had many boyfriends do that after me?”

I laugh.

Ethan takes my hand softly in his. “Hell, Grace, any boy had you, they’d want to show you off.”

I nod quietly. Now it’s beginning to make sense. The treehouse, the secret meetings. None of this business of having my dashing date pick me up, come inside the house, have my Dad give him the talk. Does Dad even realize how much he messed up his own life, let alone the lives of his loved ones?

Ethan’s hand closes around mine. We’ve both lost our appetite. “I’m so sorry you had to live through that with your Dad. And I’m so sorry you felt that way about me. I kind of assumed you knew, that he’d told you as well, but I didn’t want to rub it in by bringing it up, at the time. I just wanted all of our moments to be happy.”

“He’s much better, you know,” I say to excuse my father. “Night and day.”

Ethan nods slowly. “I kind of got that impression at the farm. I’m happy for you.”

We both play with our food for a bit, trying to climb back up to happiness, until Colton comes back and slides the keys on the table. “All set, man.”

Ethan gestures to the empty seat in front of us. “Lemme buy you dinner.”

“Won’t say no to that,” my brother says.

And now I’m looking at my two favorite men, sitting across from each other, stupid jokes flying, and my appetite is back.

Until Ethan’s phone chimes, and his frown is a total mood killer.