Returning Your Love (Pippen Creek #1)

9. Jamie

Chapter 9

Jamie

C haz hadn’t lied about the shop keeping him busy.

Two weeks passed before I saw him again and that was because Shelly had invited me for dinner when Dad and I had run into them at the diner.

Seeing them in their favorite booth they’d always sat in while dating back in high school had filled me with jealousy and a whole lot of ugly thoughts. Should have been me in Shelly’s seat. Chaz would at least have been smiling at the person across from him. I would have played footsies. Slid my foot up to his groin and made him flush. Put the spark of life in his eyes that had been lacking every time I’d seen since coming home.

I was a fucking shitty friend wishing I could take his wife’s place but couldn’t help it.

If Dad noted my annoyance with circumstances and my mood shift from relaxed to uptight, he hadn’t mentioned it. We’d discussed my lessening depression over my lost chances with the NFL and the upcoming Bobcat season while enjoying our appetizer of hot wings and blue cheese sauce. We also devoured the burgers Old Man Ron was famous for.

One topic I hadn’t touched on was my best friend, his wife, how miserable they both seemed, and how I struggled to keep my focus on my life rather than theirs. During the days since we’d gone camping, Chaz hadn’t reached out, and neither had I. I’d have sworn I’d definitely broken something by sharing about my sexuality. But, I’d never had a best friend as an adult who had more important responsibilities than hanging out with me.

I’d settled in my mind that I would fight through the end of the football season then decide on my next course of action since I still wandered aimlessly around in my head over what I ought to do with myself.

Shit really depended on Chaz and our ability to either get past our mutual want and put it behind us or fuck around and end up ruining his marriage and further soiling himself in his father’s eyes. No way in fuck would he do such a thing. He would cling to his marriage with all his might simply to prove a goddamned point.

Couldn’t blame the man though. He’d been through hell and back with his father.

Even though I didn’t want to, I showed up at his and Shelly’s house on Friday night with strawberry wine just for shits and giggles. My insides were a jittery mess, and wariness kept me a little closed off as was my norm.

Shelly welcomed me with open arms, her breath smelling of whiskey, voice shrill and on this side of annoying.

Chaz met my eyes for a brief second before turning away. No fucking way something hadn’t gotten fucked up between us. I didn’t know how to make shit better, and I forced myself to do the whole small talk/catching up thing with his wife while Chaz looked on in silence. Exhaustion still clung to him, and he appeared paler than expected considering we’d both tanned while fishing and swimming in the lake.

We hadn’t even gotten to the table before Shelly had wiped out the wine I’d brought along. Like me, Chaz kept glancing at her with concern then insisted on helping get the food on the table since she was stumbling rather than walking from one end of the kitchen to the other.

Over dinner, Shelly hounded me for information like I’d expected that first night in Frenchie’s, wanting to hear the gossip and about whatever trouble I’d gotten into. Like Chaz, she asked about women, and I grinned, reminding her that gentlemen didn’t kiss and tell—same as I’d said back in high school when I’d taken a cheerleader out for ice cream because I feared people might start questioning my preferences if I didn’t date.

“Come on , Jamie!” Shelly whined, her words slurred. While eating, she’d started on a bottle of white that she claimed paired well with the chicken piccata she’d made for us.

“Seriously, Shell,” I argued, grinning again when all I wanted to do was assure Chaz, who’d rolled his eyes, that we were cool. Everything was fine. His wife wasn’t annoying the fuck out of me.

She totally was.

My teeth ground behind my smile, and had it been anyone other than Chaz across from me, I’d have hightailed it the fuck outta there. Shelly had given me a snapshot of the woman she’d become that night at the welcome home party, and her behavior solidified she wasn’t on the best path.

“How’s work going at Scone Haven?” I asked about the new job she’d started according to Chaz, hoping like hell to turn the focus off me and the total lack of women warming my bed.

While I no longer had to be wary about being gay going public, I wasn’t in the mood to discuss men with Shelly either—or Chaz. Especially since that conversation would lead my mind to Zack and Elite and what it had felt like to have a semi-taste in the form of a fantasy of my best friend.

“Ugh.” Shelly rolled her eyes before emptying half of her glass. “Kel’s a great boss—don’t get me wrong—but the pay kinda sucks. It’s more of a bakery than sit-down cafe, and people don’t tip like at Dig-In.”

“Why’d you quit the diner? You’ve been there since what? Our junior year in high school?”

She shrugged. “Bored. Needed a change.”

“Do you plan on waiting on customers for the rest of your life?”

“I had planned on being a stay-at-home mom,” she stated rather snippily before sipping her wine and side-eyeing Chaz.

The desire to rip Shelly a new one had me fisting my hands beneath the table. “Ever think about going back to school?” I tossed out, feeling the need to keep the conversation off the lack of children running around their house, her obvious disappointment with her husband, and how much I was starting to hate her.

A snort ripped from her, ending in laughter. “I’m not any more college material than Chaz is. Hell, if it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t have even graduated high school.”

While she spoke the truth, I hated how Chaz curled in on himself in my periphery at her harsh, unnecessary reminder.

My blood fucking boiled, and I saw red. “Your husband knows cars inside and out. Could probably build one from the ground up,” I stated probably too sternly, my fake-as-fuck smile fighting to stay in place. “I’ve never met someone who works as hard as he does and strives to succeed.”

“Look in the mirror,” Shelly said, completely disregarding the positives I’d pointed out about her husband.

“Yeah, and one misstep ended my dreams,” I shot right back while she took another large gulp of wine. Why the fuck did I still grieve what I’d lost? How come I couldn’t just fucking move on already?

She swallowed, casting another side eye at her husband. “But at least you can make time for your family and friends now.”

Not exactly an upside to having your career ended, but I didn’t get a chance to reply.

Shelly huffed a sarcastic laugh if ever I’d heard one. “Maybe you could help Chaz learn how to do that too.”

“Jesus, Shell,” Chaz muttered, tossing his napkin onto the table, which made me snap my jaw shut instead of chewing her out.

“What?” She turned to him, eyes widened as though surprised he was upset by her passive-aggressive bullshit. “You never have a spare minute for anyone or anything but that shop. Actually.” Shelly turned her head my way, her eyes taking a while to focus on my face. I didn’t bother hiding my disgust in her behavior. “You took off for a weekend with Chaz when I’ve been begging for us to get away for God knows how long.” She almost lost her seat while looking back at Chaz. “And tonight you had no problem getting home for dinner when you’re usually late.”

“You haven’t shown interest in going on a date for months,” Chaz argued, his voice low, “and when I finally did ask if you wanted to go to Dig-In, you griped and bitched the whole time like you’d rather be anywhere other than with me!”

My gaze pinged between the two of them, my stomach in knots, my body heated with barely restrained anger.

“Well, you never ask about my life and how I’m doing. Everything is always work, work, work!” Shelly shot back, spittle flying from her lips.

“Because I’ve got bills hanging over my head,” he stated through gritted teeth, his body practically vibrating.

Shelly rolled her eyes, and I wanted to throat punch the bitch. “Sure, Chaz. Sure.”

“You have no fucking clue—” Chaz slammed his lips shut and stood, stacking our empty plates with more force than necessary. “Why don’t you take the rest of your wine and make yourself comfy on the couch. I’ll do the dishes.”

She snorted, wavering as she stood. Wine splashed over the glass’s edge as she attempted to top it off, but neither of us reached to help. “If you think just because you’re cleaning up that you’re getting any tonight, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“ Think ,” Chaz muttered under his breath as she stumbled toward the living room. “Another think coming,” he repeated with heat in his voice. “As if I’d want sex anyway.”

Still steaming inside, I grabbed the two serving bowls and followed behind Chaz, my feet itching to get me the hell out of there.

“Sorry about that,” he said, setting the dirty plates in the sink more gently than I’d expected.

“Don’t worry about it,” I muttered, unable to bury the discomfort from my voice.

His shoulders slumped, and there was no way in hell I would leave him to clean up alone while obvious depression hung over his head like a rain cloud.

We worked together in silence, him washing and me drying, our shoulders and hands occasionally brushing against each other’s, which eventually returned a sense of calm over the kitchen. Also got my dick a little too interested, but I didn’t let my mind wander over fantasies I didn’t dare hope would come true.

Once we finished, loud snores echoed throughout the downstairs.

“Damn.” I chuckled, hanging up the towel I’d used to dry on the oven’s handle. “I don’t remember her snoring like that when we’d gone camping.”

“It’s new. All the hard shit she’s been drinking.” Chaz grasped the edge of the sink and dropped his head, heaving a huge exhale.

I stepped in close, needing to comfort him in some way. Probably not the smartest choice, but fuck it. Chaz’s suffering hurt like fuck. “Come here.”

He turned and stepped fully into my arms, burying his face in my neck, hands clinging to the back of my shirt like I was the only lifeline he had to keep his head above water.

Warmth settled low in my groin where he pressed tight against me, but I ignored the arousal swimming through my blood from the heat of his hard body against mine. I closed my eyes and held him close, giving what I could while selfishly soaking in the little bit of him I was allowed to have as his friend.

“Sorry you had to see and hear that shit,” he whispered another apology, his breath hot on my skin.

I shivered, goose bumps rising along my arms, my dick thickening. “Don’t worry about it. Every couple fights.”

“Not my parents,” he muttered.

Because his mother was a subservient, timid woman.

“You should have heard my dad and Darla go at it before she left.”

“That’s all we seem to do anymore.”

Being the asshole I was, my mind once more went straight to the thought that Shelly ought to take off just like my mom did. Leave Chaz behind, brokenhearted so I could be the one to hold his hand and make him happy again. Especially now that I knew he wanted me.

The idea of that future sent blood to my groin. There was no hiding from Chaz what hugging him did to me, and I refused to be sorry for desiring him.

Chaz was the one to pull away but only enough to meet my gaze. Our lower halves still pressed together, and fuck me straight to hell, pain wasn’t the only thing I clearly read in his eyes.

I swallowed, refusing to move even as his dick swelled against mine.

His gaze flitted down to my lips, and time slid to a stop. We hovered between fantasy and reality. Right, as I would see it, and wrong, as he definitely would after we crossed that line.

“Still want to kiss me?” he whispered.

“What about Shelly?” I hated having to remind him of the possible fallout when he already had enough shit on his plate, but honesty was what a good friend should go with.

He exhaled loudly, lips pressed tight as he studied my face.

I tried not to hold my breath in anticipation, hoping he would make the move so I wouldn’t have to be doubly burdened by guilt over starting what we both clearly yearned for.

“It’s not fair to her,” he repeated what he’d said when we’d been camping. “But I can’t help this desire inside me. I’m so fucking lonely. Need this. Need y ou .”

I ignored the sawing of logs from his wife and focused on the length of him that felt as desperate as mine. “Same. Always have and always will.”

He sucked in his lower lip, nibbling, so I cradled his face in my hands and tugged the flesh free from his teeth with my thumb. His panted breaths warmed my mouth as he stared into my eyes.

“Jamie…”

“Yeah, Chaz. Whatever the fuck you want—it’s yours. If having one taste of you makes me a bad man, then I’ll gladly burn in hell.”

He moved to close the distance between us, and I met him there with hungry yet gentle swipes of my lips. Fireworks exploded in my head like they’d never done before, even those few times I’d asked Zack for kisses. My pulse raced and skin came alive, every cell inside my body vibrating with need to love on my best friend. Erase all of his problems even if for a short while. Euphoric and on the verge of combustion, I ate at his mouth, desperate to dive deeper and somehow steal a part of his soul I could keep with me forever.

Flicking tongues and quiet moans flooded my senses, causing pre-cum to dampen the inside of my jeans. I couldn’t get close enough. Lusted to drink him down, fucking fill him up, entwine our bodies so tightly together they couldn’t be separated ever again.

Chaz whimpered, his fingertips digging into my lower back, and I didn’t question the truth he wanted me too. Felt the same emotions coursing through his chest as I did.

I tangled one hand in his hair, the other to his nape before sliding my tongue into his mouth.

I didn’t give a shit his breath hinted at lemon and capers. I’d never enjoyed a flavor sweeter than his underlying natural taste. Craving more, I deepened the kiss, groaning when he thrust against me.

His grasp shifted to my ass, and I rolled with his lead, working a hand between us to grab his dick.

“Fuck, I want you,” I moaned into his mouth, licking in deep so he couldn’t respond or attempt to deny me.

Chaz ground against me. He trembled from head to toe, his tongue fucking with ravenous strokes along mine as I squeezed and massaged his length.

My balls drew up, and I pressed my lips against his forehead panting for oxygen. “Gonna nut in my jeans.”

“Jamie— Jesus .” He bucked against me, and I captured his lips again, silencing his moans as he came. Wet heat seeped through his jeans against my palm, and I squeezed, wishing I had milked him properly, skin on skin.

“Fuck yeah.” I shuddered as the first shot of spunk burst from my slit. “Shit, Chaz. Coming so hard for you—” I shoved my tongue into his mouth, groaning my release, grinding over his hip and thigh, wishing we were both naked, my cum smearing all the fuck over his skin.

Wanted it inside him. Down his throat so a part of me would always be in him.

We both shuddered, breathless and clinging to each other as we settled from the high of our shared release.

That line separating friendship from a whole hell of a lot more?

We’d wiped it clear from the sand between us.

And while I should give two shits about the woman passed out and snoring in the next room, I couldn’t. She didn’t deserve Chaz, and selfishly, I wished she was gone from the face of the earth so we would be free to love each other without hinderance.