Revenge (Love in London #3)

Four

Ava

That comment hung between us like a warning of things to come, Kai’s fingers drumming against the table. The whole situation was becoming more loaded by the minute, and the intensity of his gaze was unsettling.

Kai didn’t speak again until the room was empty of staff and the table had been cleared apart from our glasses.

“Well, what now?” I asked, attempting to relax in my seat.

Clearing his throat, Kai said something that surprised me, “Look. I apologise for the sedative. If I’d have known it would have affected you like that, I never would have given it to you.”

My mouth hinged open in shock, “You’re apologising to me?” My voice was high-pitched.

Kai shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Yes, it was out of order and I’m sorry. Would you like some more water?”

I almost ranted, why, so you can drug me again but thought against it. He’d apologised and he sounded genuine. I needed all the olive branches I could reach.

“No, I’m fine.”

A silence stretched and I felt my heart race at the thought of the unexpected. Kai Kinlan may have been playing the civilised host but we both knew he was anything but that.

Kai relaxed back in his chair and watched me with a thoughtful look.

“You’ve grown into a beautiful woman, Ava,” he complimented, his voice deep and thick, a tone you felt all over your skin.

Unadulterated pleasure swept through my entire body at the compliment but I told myself to get a grip.

“A minute ago, I was skeletal,” I replied with an arched brow.

“Even so.”

“I suppose I should say thank you,” I sniffed.

The atmosphere was now much more tense than it had been with my mother and the hitman in the room and I swallowed and then took a deep breath. I needed to remain calm.

My attempts to put off the inevitable ended as I took the initiative.

“Can we please just talk about the elephant in the room before I throw up?”

Kai smiled, “I thought you’d never ask. Would you like to talk in my study or here?” he asked with a head tilt. I found his question unnerving. He was giving me a choice of where to face my doom. Fucking great.

My focus drifted to his hands and perfect fingernails but his next words forced my chin up. “I am asking where you’d feel more comfortable, Ava. I don’t want to fight with you but we have unfinished business. You know that.”

“Shouldn’t I be in the basement with a bag over my head?” I knew I was playing with fire but he needed to know how cross I was.

“You have such a vivid imagination.”

“Surely you have a basement in a house this size?”

Kai cast a hand around the area, declaring, “Alas, I only have a wine cellar here. This house is not where I conduct my business. This is my home.”

Thank Christ for small mercies.

“So where does the magic happen?”

I amused him with my flippant comment but he hid it well. “Various places, but not here.”

A shiver slid down my spine at the thought of the things that went off in those—various places.

Kai must have noticed, “There’s an open fire in my office. If you’re cold?”

“I’d prefer to stay here I think,” I replied, who knew what the psycho kept in his office, thumbscrews and handcuffs no doubt.

“As you wish.”

“So, get on with it then. What do you want to know? Now that you’ve decided not to kill me.”

“As I told you in Milan, I was never going to kill you, Ava. Why on earth would you think that?” My comment had rattled him.

“I shot you,” I pointed out, fidgeting with the crystal stem of my empty wine glass. Maybe I should have accepted his offer of a drink. Calm my nerves?

“You were young and scared, you reacted on instinct. I would have done the same in your situation as a boy. An eye for an eye doesn’t apply to you, Ava. I don’t intend to shoot you or remove any fingers, so you can stop fretting.”

This revelation was so welcome but I was wound too tightly to believe him. I had seen good in him once, but after the way I had screwed his father over and then put a bullet in him, could I blame him for wanting revenge? That was a big fat nope.

But he still had to explain why I was there and what he wanted from me.

“So, why chase me around Europe, if not for revenge?”

“Because you still need to pay for your actions, Ava. And I’m not talking about that day at the vault.” Kai owned a dilapidated vault on a backstreet in London. It was a place he used to take people that pissed him off, for negotiations . That was the place I had pulled the trigger.

And there it was. He wanted to talk about Gerard.

Fuck!

“So, you want justice for what I did to Gerard?”

He washed a hand down his face as he replied, “There are two threads to this discussion. First, I want to know why you did it and then I want to know who helped you.”

Annoyance and fear snaked up my spine. Kai was still in denial about how nasty his father had been, “You know why,” I exclaimed.

There was a beat of silence as his eyes roamed over my features.

Kai didn’t push further and he rewound the discussion, “Let’s deal with things as they occurred.”

“So, I’m to atone for my sins in order? How efficient of you.”

He smiled, “I’m nothing if not efficient, Ava; as you’ll soon learn. I never leave a stone unturned. So, switching my questions around, who helped you to collate the dossier on my father?”

A stronger jet of fear rushed through me as I thought about Anton. I forced a look of confusion across my face, “Who’s to say I didn’t do that on my own?”

Kai snorted in disbelief, “You were seventeen, a child, Ava. There’s no way you could have dug up that much dirt without help. Maybe someone on the inside helped you? You and your mother hadn’t lived at the house that long, yet the detail you uncovered spanned several years.”

Anton’s perfect face flashed before my eyes again. Under no circumstances could I put him in danger.

Trying to remain calm, I replied, “Surely you knew that my mother and your father had known each other before they got together? She was married to a colleague of his for years.”

“Hardly a colleague but yes. That’s where I met Suki for the first time, at her wedding to Alasdair Wilkinson.”

I opened my mouth to reply but my tongue felt heavy. That was odd, Kai had met my mother at her wedding to Alasdair; which would mean he had been there that day. But I couldn’t remember seeing him.

I would have been seven or eight at the time and my recollection was hazy, at best. I remembered Tasha and her friends pushing me over and calling me names, but I couldn’t remember Kai. Only that one boy who had come to my rescue and had promised me that one day I would have my happy ever after. I had kept his handkerchief. It was folded neatly in the pocket of my bag. It had been a sign of hope that there were good people in the mafia somewhere; saviours.

“Ava?” Kai prompted, drawing me back into the room.

“We lived at the house for over two years,” I added, wondering why I suddenly felt strange; almost like I had forgotten something important.

“But you were away at school for half that time,” he pointed out, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table. I noted how the fabric pulled taunt over his broad shoulders.

Shrugging, I turned away and started playing with the edge of the tablecloth. “What can I say? I work fast. I’m a resourceful female, and I wasn’t a child. I had your father to thank for that.” I tagged the last sentence on and without thought.

“Meaning?” Kai’s cool tone brought my head back up and I stared him straight in the face as thoughts of Gerard Kinlan’s wandering hands returned. He had already groped me in the past and then one night, after his return from a trip to Ireland; he did something horrible to my mother. What? I may never know as Suki still refused to talk about it. She was a bury the head in the sand type.

A knot of pain bit into my stomach at the memory. I usually tried to blank out memories of those moments he would corner me but they swooped back into my brain, like the worst of nightmares.

“Ava, focus please. What do you mean?”

I shook from the daze of those awful recollections, “When we came to live with you. I had to grow up fast.”

Kai leaned back in the chair and started to remove his tie. “So, you’re sticking to that insane story you told me the night of your sixteenth birthday party.”

“Yes. I’m nothing if not consistent.”

He narrowed his eyes, “I also remember you mentioned something that day at the vault when you kindly put that bullet in my side.”

I arched an eyebrow, “Do you expect me to apologise?” Shooting Kai was one thing I did regret. It was an accident; I had only meant to fire a warning shot.

My actions that day put a price on my head and I had been running ever since. Plus, I’d hurt him and I would never forget the look of disbelief and pain in his eyes when I ran.

Kai tugged his tie off and dropped it on the table before undoing the button on his collar. “Don’t you think that you should apologise?” I hated when he answered a question with a question but that was part of the mafia’s MO.

“No, as you said. I was under threat. I protected myself.” I watched as he slid another button out of its hole. “Should I expect a striptease?” I added with a smirk, motioning towards what he was doing.

His lip curled and he dropped his hand to the table, “Wishful thinking?”

My spine stiffened, “Absolutely not. I’m not attracted to cold-blooded killers or people that threaten me,” I hissed with forced revolt. I was such a liar.

There was a strangled silence before he stated, “You were never under any threat; not from me anyway.”

Crossing my arms, I watched him across the space, “Really? I beg to differ.”

Kai scratched his jaw, “Do you see me as the type of man to harm a woman?”

I released a derisive snort, “Why not? Like father like son.”

He didn’t like that, Kai’s body tensed up. He cleared his throat, before glancing at the door where I’d entered the room. Mr Ashtray had suddenly appeared there.

“You can leave us, Hamish?” Kai called.

As his man left us, Kai muttered, “It doesn’t need to be like this Ava. We were friends once.”

I noticed he didn’t ask me to embellish my comment further about his scumbag father.

Kai was right, we were friends once but as I stared across at him, I realised there was no trace of the man I once knew.

The young man who had at first welcomed both my mother and me into this life.

And then the day my mother married Kai’s father it all went to shit. He changed and Suki and I became enemy number one. He pushed me away and I hated him for that.

I raked my fingers through my hair, suddenly needing something to do with my hands. “Well, you must have a better memory than me because all I remember about you is that you were a horrible brute and treated both me and my mother like crap.” I was lying of course but his latter treatment of me had washed away all the good stuff. Judgement must have been pouring off me in waves.

I could see from his expression that he didn’t like that and a muscle started ticking in his jaw.

Kai’s face forced a wave of dread to power through me. I was usually so good and honed in the survival skills department but seeing him again seemed to have blown that out of the water. Why was I so automatically drawn to that desire to aggravate him?

Because you don’t want to get close to him again.

As I sat before him, it was hard to imagine that there was a time when I believed this man controlled the beating of my heart. I watched him warily from beneath my lashes, checking out his perfectly styled hair. There was no sign of the errant boyish locks which used to fall over his forehead or that cheeky smile he used to show me.

Kai sat in his perfectly tailored suit without a hair out of place. He was so pristine and tightly controlled in his expensive clothes. But beneath them I knew lay a monster; one who wanted to swallow me whole for what I had done.

He was his father’s son and the apple rarely fell far from the tree.

However, I knew I needed to tread carefully even though he’d said he was no threat to me.

Hating that feeling of weakness as it washed over me, I asked that million-dollar question, “So, you say I was never under any threat? Is that still the case?”

“Physically, yes,” he replied in a bland, almost disappointed tone.

“So not physically but you’re still going to threaten me in another way?” I volleyed back, nervous knots ripping through my belly.

I could see Kai weighing up my words as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, “It depends on what you consider as threatening I suppose.”

He was being vague on purpose.

“Can’t you just answer the question and be straight with me for once?” my voice was a croak and I darted a look towards the doorway where I had entered the lion's den.

“Where’s the fun in that? I think under the circumstances, it’s only right to draw it out. That’s what you’ve done to me for the last two years.”

He was clearly still harbouring a grudge the size of London.

Kai placed his hands on the table, “Bottom line, it’s time to grow up Ava and face the fact that there are always consequences to our actions. You’re not a child anymore, you’re a woman.” At the word woman, his eyes dipped to my breasts and then back again. The move was slight but I’d been trained to read body language and a sexual heat fell into the space surrounding us.

Fire raced into my cheeks as I realised Kai had just checked me out. I was surprised he’d bothered with that area. I was slim and didn’t need a bra. I had nothing to shout about in the boob department. But then my friend Anton said that a hetero guy would never grumble at a pair of tits no matter how small they were. Rich considering he was as gay as a tree full of parrots.

OMG, where was my head at? I couldn’t believe that I was thinking about my breasts and Kai during the same thought process.

Before I could let that thought of Kai checking out my rack fester he ploughed on.

“So, back to those allegations you started to throw around and what you said at the vault. Tell me what my father did to you to force your hand in such a dangerous way. You do realise if Gerard had found out you were responsible, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

My stomach was suddenly in knots, “I don’t want to talk about it, it’s in the past; dead and buried.”

“How convenient,” he huffed.

I smiled thinly as I stated, “Just like dear old Da. Sorry, no offence.” Baiting him about his father’s death was silly; what the hell was wrong with me?

A strange look crossed Kai’s features before he masked it and shrugged nonchalantly, “None taken.” I knew it was mean to bandy his father’s passing about like that but the man had been a monster.

“So, what else do you want to know?”

And then he dropped the bomb, “What else do I want to know? You’ve told me nothing so far, nothing of consequence but I’ll play along.”

Kai paused for what felt like forever before adding, “Who is Anton Quinn?”

Panic bled across my features as he pushed forward in his seat, clearly witnessing my shock before I could mask it.

“Have you been going through my phone?” I snapped.

He shook his head, “No. I didn’t take your phone.”

My mouth opened and closed like a fish. If he hadn’t taken my phone, where the hell was it?

“Your phone is in the pink bag I had packed for you. It was in the pocket of your jeans and I moved it so it wouldn’t get blood on it.”

“So, you didn’t even try going through my phone?” I said surprised.

“Of course I did, but it was locked and facial ID doesn’t appear to work on unconscious women.”

“Well, you learn something new every day,” I snarked.

Kai ignored my sass as he continued his explanation, “I could have gotten around that but my tech man, Miles, is working on something more important than hacking what is probably a burner phone. I doubt there is anything on there I don’t already know.”

He was such a cunning bastard.

“Your handbag is also in your room,” Kai explained.

“And my passport?” I said, with hope in my voice.

He smiled and shook his head, “That isn’t I’m afraid. I’ll hold on to that for a little while longer.”

“Of course, you will. Silly me,” I responded with a huff, I remembered seeing my gym holdall at the foot of the bed as I left the room but hadn’t seen my handbag.

“Which would bring me to my other question as to why you have such a strong reaction at the sight of blood?”

I sighed, “It’s a long story.”

Kai rolled his eyes, “And I intend to hear it, Ava, eventually . But for the time being, let’s focus on Quinn. Is he your boyfriend?”

Hot angry bitterness swept through me, “What?” Shit, my training was falling by the wayside.

Poker face remember, Ava? Give nothing away.

Now there was no way I could say I didn’t know anyone by that name. Kai would have checked who owned the apartment he’d found me in.

“Who is he to you?” Kai repeated, his mouth twisting with derision.

My non-answer seemed to drag on forever. I could feel the colour rising in my cheeks.

“Look, he’s nothing. No one. I knew his brother from school.”

Suddenly feeling hot, I pulled the edge of my top off my skin and started to waft the skin of my throat.

“Are you hot? Do you want a drink?”

“Actually, yes, please. I will have that glass of wine,” I back-peddled, hoping to give myself more time to construe a reply.

Make it simple! A lie is always easiest to stick to when it isn’t complex.

Kai rolled his shoulders and then moved to lift the wine decanter from the table, pouring a measure into the crystal wine glass by my hand. I thanked him and took a massive gulp.

Releasing my top, I could feel Kai’s eyes on my throat as I drank greedily. Fuck me it was strong as the liquid started to melt my oesophagus.

“Easy, that’s fourteen percent Rioja.”

Shooting him a glower, I coughed into my hand as my eyes watered.

He waited for me to recover with raised eyebrows.

“You were saying,” Kai prompted as he refilled his glass.

In an unladylike manner, I wiped the back of my hand across my lips, “Anton has nothing to do with anything.”

“ Anything being the dossier on my father?”

I started to fidget, “No. I mean, in general. He’s just a friend and you’re to stay away from him.” The glance I shot him was ridiculous, I looked as threatening as a mouse to a bear sitting beneath that impenetrable glare.

“That’s quite an extreme reaction for someone who is just a friend to you. I think you’re lying to me, Ava.”

If there was one thing Kai had always been good at it was grilling people. That’s why he had been his father’s right-hand man for getting people to talk.

Pushing to my feet, I’d had enough for one night. I prayed he’d let me go as a wave of exhaustion swept through my body. Telling lies uses excess energy.

I stared down my nose right into his face. “I’m not lying, Kai. I mean it, please . I don’t want him involved in anything. He doesn’t know about this part of my life.” I explained with a hand gesture around the room.

Kai too pushed to his feet, towering over me, “Yet, you were living with him at his apartment in Milan.” His tone was deceptively even but the undercurrent of threat was as clear as day.

I pushed my chair away and started to pace and Kai stood still and watched me. He was so aggressively male with a fantastic rugged physique and too bloody attractive for my heart rate.

“I’m going to need an answer, Ava.”

Fuelled by anger at his bossiness I snapped, “No, we weren’t living together. I was staying there temporarily. He was putting me up. I couldn’t go back to my apartment for obvious reasons.” A sickness started in my stomach at the thought of anything happening to Anton. I found it amazing that Kai hadn’t joined the dots and realised that Anton was the son of one of Gerard’s past mistresses.

Sheridan Quinn clearly wasn’t important enough for her to be introduced to his son. Gerard had treated her atrociously so Anton had explained; hence his involvement in Gerard’s downfall.

Kai walked out from his position and leaned back against the table, perching himself on the area where I had been minutes ago. I longed to wrap my hands around his thickly muscled neck but who was I fooling? I didn’t want him dead, not really; just no longer in my life.

“The obvious reason being when Hamish turned up at your apartment?” Kai said as he folded his arms over his chest. The material of the suit pulled tight over his shoulders and biceps.

I stopped fidgeting and faced him. “Yes. I would have been stupid to have gone back there.”

“From what I heard, you fought well, bringing down one of my men,” Kai said sounding impressed.

I hated that his proud smile made me want to smile back, no matter how upset he made me. Just like he used to.

Shoving my hands on my hips I pointed out, “It wasn’t hard. Your standards are slipping Kai. I’d sack him, the guy is a liability.”

Kai glanced towards the vacated doorway, “So, I’ve been told. At least he’s loyal,” he replied, suggesting I wasn’t.

I released a huff, “So are golden retrievers. But they make lousy attack dogs.”

The tension in the room was suddenly suffocating.

After a stretch of silence, the sound of Kai’s phone filtered into the space. I held my breath as he withdrew it and looked away, swiping the screen.

I stood there staring at his perfect profile, wishing things were different between us.

As Kai repocketed his phone, he dashed a hand across his face and I saw his guard drop. He was stressed, something was wrong and the message he’d just received was important.

“What’s wrong?” I said, suddenly worried.

Scooting a hand through his thick hair, he shot me a penetrative look. “Nothing for you to worry about. But this will have to wait until tomorrow. There is trouble at the casino.”

Relief jetted through me and I lowered myself back onto my chair. I felt exhausted, trying to keep your wits about you when you’d been unconscious for half the day was no easy feat.

As I raised my eyes, I caught Kai watching me with a hooded expression.

“You should go and get some rest.”

“How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?”

Kai’s sensual mouth twisted in amusement, “You don’t.”

My face must have shown how I did not welcome that reply and he rolled his eyes and added, “For fucks’ sake Ava. I’m not going to hurt you. Irrespective of your betrayal, you are a Kinlan and disgraced family members are handled differently. You have nothing to fear in that respect.”

“Sounds ominous,” I grunted with a head tilt, wondering why he’d called me a Kinlan when I’d refused to change my name when Mom married Gerard. But I believed him; in respect of the threat of violence anyway.

I knew he wasn’t the same Kai but we were connected (maybe that’s what he meant by calling me a Kinlan). We had a past even though it was a train wreck and I didn’t feel in danger anymore, not physically anyway. My reaction at Anton’s apartment had been over the top, I knew that now. If I had hurt him again, I would never have forgiven myself. I still deeply regretted that day at the vault; and how I had handled things. Even more so now my mother had told me how hard she’d had it after I’d left and how Kai had been there for her.

Kai must have seen my body relax with relief as he added, “But this isn’t over Ava. We have things to discuss. Air that needs to be cleared. You owe the family big time. Do you understand me?”

Feeling deflated I murmured under my breath, “You’re such a dictating tyrant.”

“You can call me all the names you like, Ava but have I made myself clear?”

“As crystal.”

But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I had been saved by the bell and had been given a reprieve. In respect of what would come next, I had no fucking idea.

Now I just needed a plan for what to do. Should I attempt to tell Kai the truth about his father and would that be enough to keep Anton out of it?

Maybe I could get Kai to believe me and things could be different; if Kai knew what Gerard had done, I knew he wouldn’t be happy.

“Goodnight, Ava. I’ll see you tomorrow when I get home from work. I don’t need to tell you what will happen if you try and run.”

“I won’t run, at least not tonight.”

“Good. Do you want Dr Farmer to drop by your room to check your bandage?”

“No, thank you. It feels fine. Maybe tomorrow,” I suggested.

“As you wish.”

As I watched Kai walking away with determined steps I realised the true meaning of the phrase pipe dreams.

The void between Kai and me was now even bigger and I couldn’t understand why that made me miserable considering everything we had done to each other.

I was so weary of it all. The mafia had been systematically inserting itself into every part of my life for years and I just wanted out.

As I went up to the room I had been forced to occupy, I knew I couldn’t allow Kai to get under my skin again.

If I did, my struggle for freedom and independence from that life would be over for good.