Revenge (Love in London #3)

Seventeen

Ava

Sliding my legs off the bed, I sat up and reached for my phone which I’d left on the bedside table. I was still alone in Kai’s, or should I say our bedroom and must have fallen asleep on the bed.

It was close to midnight, where the hell was he? The ticks next to the WhatsApp message I had sent asking where he was remained unseen so I called him.

We had been back at the house for hours. The journey back in the car had been eerie and quiet. Once we got in, Kai said he had some calls to make and I left him to it. I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t console him for the death of his father when that is what I had wanted.

Planting my feet on the floor, I cricked my neck from side to side as I waited for Kai to answer. Was he ghosting me after everything that had happened that day?

I had bumped into Cillian earlier on the stairs as he made his way to my mother’s room. We had shared a look, a silent understanding. I was relieved that Kai had stopped me from shooting his father. It meant I didn’t have his blood on my hands. And where Cillian was concerned, what was one more life added to the list? I did feel some contentment knowing that he did it for my mother. And the fact that Kai had given him the order to do it, told me everything I needed to know.

Kai had chosen me.

When there was still no answer, I gave up. Enough was enough, I dropped the phone onto the bed and pushed to my feet, heading to the bathroom to freshen up. Running my fingers through my hair, I stared at my face in the mirror above the sink. I still looked tired even though I had slept for over five hours. There were bluish shadows beneath my eyes.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs it was eerie. No guards were stationed at the doors. A slither of fear snaked up my spine. Where was everyone? This led me to wonder what had happened to Gerard's men.

A door down the corridor which led to Kai’s office clicked forcing me to turn and follow the sound. The marble floor was ice cold against my bare feet. As I turned the corner, Nico came out of Kai’s office. He looked worse for wear, his tie was gone and the top two buttons of his shirt were undone. His hair was also mussed like he’d run his fingers through it several times.

“Is Kai in there?” I questioned when he saw me. The serious expression he’d worn as he’d closed the door behind him shifted and he smiled weakly. It was the type of smile that suggested he’d been drinking and I could smell that he had. When he didn’t reply, I went to move past him but he shot out an arm against the door, blocking me.

“I wouldn’t, Ava. He’s not in the best shape,” Nico murmured with a slight slur.

My brow scrunched, “What do you mean?”

Nico lowered his arm and made a sweeping gesture with his fingers, “In a nutshell, he’s wasted.”

So, Kai was drunk. And why wouldn’t he be? He had given the order for his father to be shot.

Pursing my lips, I weighed up my options, I had never seen Kai intoxicated and who knew what that would look like. On an exhale, I blurted, “I don’t care. I need to see him.” I then gently pushed Nico to the side, something he allowed me to do.

“I’d warn you against that, but I know you're stubborn. Just know that there is no reasoning with him when he’s like this,” he explained with a flick of his head.

As I looked up into Nico’s face, I realised his smile was forced. He too was hurting, probably for his friend and my hand automatically lifted to his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Nico, and a great friend to Kai. I know how much you care about him.”

And then his next words resonated through my entire being.

Nico shrugged and declared, “He’s a difficult man to love, Ava. You need to remember that.” His tone was now serious, almost as if he’d sobered up in a flash.

I gave him a tight smile as I wrapped my hand around the door handle, “I realise that, but I do. With all my heart.”

“I know,” he replied softly.

As I entered the room, I focused on closing the door before turning and placing my back against it. The open fire was lit but had burned down to only a few embers.

Kai was sitting in one of the leather Chesterfield chairs. He was cradling a glass of what I assumed was whisky against his chest and as the door clicked, he looked up.

His eyes met mine and I shoved off the door and walked towards him. A strange sensation fluttered in my stomach. I had never seen Kai look so torn, almost like a broken man. His shirt was also minus his tie and the sleeves were rolled back showing off his tatted arms.

Kai didn’t speak as I lowered myself into the chair opposite. I watched silently as he took a drink from his glass. As he did so, he turned to stare into the fire. He didn’t look drunk like Nico had, but then he was sitting down. Kai’s legs were stretched out before him and crossed at the ankle.

“What are you doing Kai?” This brought his face back around to mine.

He shrugged and raised the glass, almost as if to highlight the answer to my question, “Drowning my sorrows?”

Part of me hated that he felt any sorrow at all for having Gerard shot, but the man was his father.

Clearing his throat, Kai’s eyes searched my face as he added, “Isn’t that what normal people do under these circumstances?”

I leaned forward in my seat and placed a hand on his knee, “The circumstances being you had your father killed?”

A flash of distaste crossed his features, “I don’t care about Gerard, this has nothing to do with him.”

His reply puzzled me, if it wasn’t about Gerard then what the hell?

Lowering the glass, he placed it on the table and snagged the wrist of the hand that touched him. I watched as he lifted it towards his face, my breath tight in my chest as he ran his mouth over my pulse point.

“So why are you drowning your sorrows,” I questioned, feeding him back those words he had muttered.

“Because of you , Ava,” he muttered, lifting his chin, and watching me over my hand. There was something untamed and dangerous lurking beneath his quiet facade. Kai’s fingers then tightened, and he tugged me towards him. Having no option, I slid off the seat and then Kai’s other hand shot out to steady me.

I didn’t struggle when Kai manoeuvred my body, so I was sitting on his lap, his hard thighs pressing against my bottom. The flames from the fire flickered shadows across his face and I placed my hands on his shoulders.

Kai wore a look that resembled curiosity. I sat there in silence, waiting for him to explain himself. One of his hands was around my waist and the other rested on one of my legs.

And then his hands slid up my body to my jaw and he pulled my head towards him, his firm mouth capturing mine. My lips opened as Kai devoured me, his kiss was heated, and he gipped my jaw as his tongue slid between my lips.

Drawing back, he heaved, “How can you taste like heaven when I feel like I’m in hell?”

“Kai? I don’t understand. What did you mean when you said this is about me?”

He gently pushed me off his lap and we both stood. Kai stepped away and walked towards the window at the other side of his desk.

His office was still in the state I had left it, that drawer where I had first lifted my gun still sitting on the surface of his desk.

As I recovered from that spine-tingling kiss, I turned to watch him. He had his back to me and was looking out of the window. Kai’s shoulders were tense, and I knew he was unhappy. It made my heart squeeze in my chest to think of him hurting.

“Kai?” I prompted softly.

“Because I now know what I have to do,” he answered.

“And what is that?”

He turned to face me, “I need to let you go.”

I felt like I was the one who had been shot.

“You need to let me go? I don’t understand?” I muttered, taking a step towards his desk. It sat in the space between us, keeping us apart. It wasn’t that big a distance but it suddenly felt like we were miles apart.

“I’ve decided to let you go. You’re free. Free of me, this shit life and the demons who lurk in the corners. This thing is over.”

“This thing?”

“Yes, the relationship between us. If you can even call it that,”

“I can’t argue with that. As far as relationships go, this has been a head-fuck of a rollercoaster. But I get it now.”

“Do you? How is that even possible?”

His words were like pellets from a gun across my skin, “Look, I may not have realised it at first, but you’ve made me the happiest I have ever been in my life, Kai as well as the saddest.”

“Really, when was the happy time, when we were fucking I imagine?”

“Stop trying to shock me, Kai. I think we’re beyond that,” I pointed out with a sharp look.

“So, I make you feel two extreme emotions that are opposite to one another?”

“Yes.”

“And how screwed up is that,” he burst out.

“Not at all. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Don’t they say there is a fine line between love and hate?”

“That’s nonsensical bullshit. Nothing about this situation is how it is supposed to be Ava,” Kai said with a groan. I could see from his expression that he felt torn; torn between doing what was right and what he wanted.

“Maybe not and I know things are complicated right now. But that’s life isn’t it, you take the rough with the smooth,”

“But the rough in my word is death and destruction,”

“And there you go again. You talk about this being your world but it’s very much mine too and has been for most of my life.”

Kai walked around the desk and sat against it, staring across at the fire. I moved to do the same.

“When I was twelve years old, I was initiated into my father’s gang. I was taught how to cause the most pain possible to the human body. It was unlike anything I had seen in horror movies.”

I swallowed but didn’t stop him. It appeared it was confession time.

“The sound a man makes as you peel his fingernails back with a pair of pliers stays with you for a while.”

I said nothing, the thought of that would usually have made my eyes water but I remained calm and in control. I knew at that moment what Kai wanted to achieve.

He was pushing me away again.

“Waterboarding, hammering nails into the kneecaps of traitors, taking a life with my bare hands. Removing part of someone’s ear with my teeth. I’ve done it all, Ava. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes. But that is what you were born into. You were a child, forced into it,”

“It doesn’t matter. I did those things, as a child, then as a teenager and now as a man. It’s like a never-ending cycle. You don’t belong with me for twelve minutes let alone twelve months. You want out and I am giving that to you.”

“I know I said that and that’s the way I felt once. But the ‘out’ has one very important thing missing from it.”

He sighed deeply and I could tell he was tired from the tone of his voice, “And what is that?”

“You, Kai.” He turned against the desk towards me, his eyes searching my face. “The last two years have been the hardest of my life. I thought it was due to having to live my life on the run and the fear of being caught. Now I realise that I was scared at the thought of not being caught. Spending my life out there and alone and being part of that nothing forever. Being back here in London and with you, I no longer feel lost.”

He pushed off the desk and faced me, “Because your mother is here. You're confusing your feelings.”

“No Kai, not because of Suki, because of you.”

“So, what are you saying?”

“Well, for someone to have so much power over one person that has to mean something ,” I said.

“And what the hell is that? You feel something towards a man who turned his back on you as a child, and let his father molest you. The same man who then kidnapped you and forced you to give him a year of your life?”

I felt such a surge of sadness, “I know. It doesn’t make sense but life doesn’t generally.”

“For Christ's sake, Ava. I abandoned you when you needed me the most. How can I ever let that go? How can you?”

“I know you have your regrets, Kai but the same ones live inside of me. They are like tied-up demons captured in the basement of my heart. What Gerard did was wrong, and he has paid for that now. As you said at the farm, it’s over.”

“But what about your closure? Those things you wanted to say, his apology to you?”

“I don’t care about those things now. He knew I was the one who set him up and he died with that thought in his mind. That is my closure.”

“Whilst you remain here with me, it isn’t over. I have shit to take care of, plans, and you will only be in the way; like a constant reminder of my failings. I can’t think straight with you so close. That’s the other reason you can’t stay.”

“There are regrets, but it’s time to let them go. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking back into the past, it’s time to move forward and we can do that together, Kai.”

I was close to throwing myself on my knees before him, something I had promised I would never do again after that time in the basement. Kai had not liked me humbling myself before him. And why? Because he does care.

“I don’t think I can, Ava. You always put me on a pedestal, and I don’t deserve to be there. I have nothing to offer you. You deserve rainbows and sunshine, not the dark emptiness inside of me.”

Taking a deep breath, I put my hand on his cheek and turned his face to mine, “We’re not that different. I too like to disconnect from my feelings when they become complicated, it’s easier to hide than deal with shit. Why do you think I ran? But I’m no longer terrified of being swallowed by the underworld if you are waiting for me at the bottom of it.”

Kai’s hand touched mine against his face as he said, “You don’t belong at the bottom, Ava. You belong in the stars.”

“Then join me there. Together. You said it yourself you wanted to go straight, had tried to do that years ago.”

“Maybe things have gone far too deep to achieve that now.”

“You’re wrong. I believe in you.”

“Why?” Kai whispered, the lines on his face highlighted his inner suffering.

“Because I love you,” the words surged out of my mouth.

His breath hitched his expression tortured and he removed my hand but held on to it, “And that’s why I am letting you go, Ava. I’m freeing you from this life. I’ve already arranged for money to be transferred into an account I had set up for you when you signed the contract. Your passport is on the table, underneath it is that contract. I want you to tear it up. I release you from your promise. I can’t do this anymore. You don’t belong with me. There is also an envelope there with your new bank card. You will never have to worry about money ever again.”

Kai was abandoning me again and after everything I had just said to him. It felt like my heart was in his fist and he was squeezing the life from me.

“So, you’re paying me off?”

“It isn’t like that. I’m giving you what is owed. My family did yours a disservice, it’s only right.”

“Why do I need my passport?”

I knew he found it difficult but his mask slid slowly back into place, “I have arranged for my plane to fly you home, back to Milan, it leaves tomorrow morning just after half past ten.” There was no slur in his words, even though he must have drunk most of the whisky bottle on the table. He was cold and serious. So, he thought I viewed my home as Milan now.

The thought of being sent away was like a punch to the stomach, “You’re sending me away?”

Kai nodded, his jaw ticking, “I’m sending you home.”

I pushed at his chest with my fist but he didn’t even flinch, “And I don’t have any say in that?”

He groaned and started to pace, agitation in every angle of his body, “Don’t make this harder than it already is, Ava. As soon as the plane lands in Italy, a car will meet you and take you to your apartment.”

My apartment? Pained lanced through me. He’s lying, he must be.

“I am giving you what you wanted,” Kai said, pulling on a strand of my hair.

Moving back, needing space for what was to come, I asked, “And what is that?”

A silence stretched and a gong entered the space as the grandfather clock in the corner chimed to say it was midnight.

“Your freedom. Total independence.”

He stopped pacing as I said, “From who? That mafia?” My head was itching and my mind raced with mixed feelings; Kai was giving me my freedom.

“No, from me.”

I folded my arms over my body, “What if I don’t want that anymore?”

Kai stepped towards me with a harsh expression, “Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought. You need to leave.”

Tears threatened to spill but I couldn’t let him see them, “You want me to leave?”

Kai looked at the ceiling, frustration rolling off him in waves, “I didn’t say I want you to leave, I said I need you to. But for what it’s worth, you may view them as the same thing. You leave tomorrow, it’s over, Ava.”

I turned on him like a spitting cat, so desperate to slap his face, “Nothing is over Kai; you can’t just turn it off. I know you care about me?”

Kai rolled his shoulders and started tugging at his hair, hard.

He then dropped his hands and spun toward me, “What do you want me to say? Yes, I do. I do fucking care, too much and that’s why you need to walk away and never look back. I am the thing nightmares are made of, my father’s son, a savage.”

“That may be the case, Kai. But I’m in love with you now, and there is only one way you will get me to leave.”

“Please tell me, so I can end this farce,” Kai barked, his tone a mixture of anger and upset. I had never seen him so emotional.

Taking a deep breath, I looked him in the eye, “Tell me you don’t love me, Kai.”

I could see how uncomfortable he was as he fought with his feelings, “This is ridiculous. You want your happy ever after Ava, remember ? Well, I am not the man to give that to you. And I never will be.”

“Who are you then?” I cried.

“Nobody,” Kai replied, his shoulders dropping. I remembered him saying that to my mother that first day we met at the wedding party. “Nobody to you, anyway,” he added with a heavy sigh.

Pushing my arms up and around his neck, I needed to feel his heart beating against mine, “You didn’t listen to my request, Kai. I need to hear it for myself. The only way I will leave is if you can tell me, you don’t love me.”

Kai slowly unwrapped my arms from around his neck and stepped back. The light from the embers in the fireplace sent shadows across his face. He was suddenly a stranger.

And then that crack which already ran through the centre of my heart, split in two.

“I don’t love you, Ava.”

Kai

After Ava ran from my office, she took everything inside me with her; my heart, soul, the air from my lungs; my entire fucking reason for existing. I was a hollow man, just a shell and not a strong one. I felt close to caving in on myself.

I was such a fool. I thought that letting her go would be the right thing to do. Ava wanted no part of my life, that seedier side of things, the life of a crime boss, but then she’d confessed her true feelings.

How could that be? After everything I had put her through.

Her expression when I had lied about not loving her in return had crucified me. It had been the hardest thing I had ever had to do. I was the most accomplished liar in the entire Cartel, but that had been almost impossible. Almost.

After realising what I had done, I knew I had to go after her; force myself into her room and tell her I was a pussy and it was all bullshit. I did love her.

But then she wouldn’t leave and she wouldn’t be safe.

I spent the rest of that night finishing off the bottle of whisky, Nico and I had started. It felt like my life was over and I suddenly didn’t care about anything.

You let her walk away you fool.

My life had no meaning without Ava in it. And my future felt like a blank fucking page.

I woke up with a banging headache, a door slamming in the house somewhere felt like someone taking a hammer to my head.

Looking around the office and the state it was in brought back memories of the day before. One side of my face felt numb and I had the bastard of all cricks in my neck.

I glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner and it stated it was eight in the morning. The sun almost blinded me as it came in through the window.

And then panic kicked in, Ava! I was supposed to go to her room last night and beg for forgiveness and instead, I’d passed out in the chair.

Jumping up, I cringed as it felt like loose parts of my brain rattled in my headspace. I needed to get to Ava. She wouldn’t have left for the airport yet. I told Lester to have a car ready at nine. The flight was scheduled to take off at ten forty-five.

Stalking swiftly to the bathroom which adjoined my office, I freshened up and threw cold water over my face. I couldn’t face Ava smelling like a brewery.

As I left my office, Nico was just coming down the stairs.

“What happened to you?” he said, taking in my dishevelled appearance.

“What do you think?” I said with a grimace. It felt like someone had shit in my mouth.

“Looks like you made it through the rest of the whisky.”

I rolled my eyes and shot him a ‘you think’ expression. “I must have passed out. Have you seen Ava?”

“What?”

“Ava?”

“Yes. She left, Kai.” That comment ripped something wide in my chest.

I remember telling her about the jet and shit, but it wasn’t due to leave for ages, “What do you mean, she left already?

“She said goodbye to Suki this morning. There were tears and hugs and shit. Ava asked her mother to go with her, but she wanted to stay with Cillian. I left them to it. You know I’m not one for pussy drama.”

“And she just walked out,” I said, my face dropping.

“You authorised it last night. Lester has taken her to the airport.”

“You're fucking kidding me.” I slid my phone from my pocket.

Fucking hell. The clock in my office was wrong, it must have stopped. What are the chances? My phone showed it was after ten.

This cannot be happening. I started to pace back and forth like a caged animal.

Nico looked alarmed when I started tugging at my hair, “What the hell, Kai? What's going on? She said you told her she was free to leave. That you wanted her to go.” He moved to stand in front of me, which caused me to stop my frantic path back and forth across the hallway.

“I did, but,” the words left my mouth like vapour.

Eyeing me with a funny look, Nico prompted, “You did, but what?”

I ignored him, too desperate to establish how she was feeling when she’d left. Pissed off, sad? I would go for any of the above. Indifferent or happy would kill me off, “Did she look upset this morning?”

He folded his arms across his chest, “I don't know how to answer that.”

Flexing my shoulders, I stalked towards him, “Am I speaking German? Was she sad, or acting strangely? You know what, it doesn't matter. Shit, I've fucked up, again.” I huffed with a flap of my arms. I had never felt so out of control of a situation and I hated it.

“You think?” Not helpful Nico!

Twisting I instructed, “Bring the car around, now.”

His brow creased, “Why?”

Taking a deep breath, I informed him, “I'm going after her.”

His entire body relaxed and his face lit up, “Finally, some fucking sense. That's the most intelligent thing you've said in years. At last, I’ll be free from your constant whining about her,” Nico chuntered. My friend had always seen through my bullshit where Ava was concerned. I remember him cornering me a few times, asking me to ask myself why I bitched about her so much over the last two years. He was right, it wasn’t because of Gerard or that night at the vault. I was in love with her.

I saw red and my decision was made in that split second, “Whilst you're making the wise cracks we're wasting time. Get the car.”

I couldn’t recall everything I had said to Ava last night, but I remembered arranging to have her sent away. What the fuck was I thinking? The whole scenario had gradually got more out of hand the drunker I had become. And now she had gone, I realised that was the last thing I wanted.

Nico went to move and then paused when I slid my phone from my jeans, “What are you doing now?”

I growled as I rubbed my forehead, “I'm calling her phone.” The noise of a ringtone started from down the hallway, making me wince. “Where the fuck is that coming from?”

“Ava's phone. She left it,” Nico replied calmly. Why the fuck wasn’t he bringing the car around?

“What?” I questioned, unsure of what he’d just said.

“The phone you gave her.” His attitude was starting to piss me off as he should have been as stressed out as I was. “It’s on the counter in the kitchen.”

Motherfucker!

My life was a shitshow of my making, “ When did she leave?” Nico wasn’t fazed as I snapped at him, he knew what I was like when I was tense.

Nico scratched his chin, “About twenty minutes ago.”

“She must have packed quickly,” I shot back in a huff. Women usually took forever getting their shit together but no, on that day, this female packed at light speed.

“She didn't take anything, just some carry-on.” The fact that she hadn’t taken any of the things I bought her was another kick in the balls.

“Oh, and she gave me this,” Nico said, drawing Ava’s engagement ring from his pocket.

“Give me that,” I snarled, taking it from him and pushing it into my pocket.

She had given me her ring back. That fact was a direct punch to the heart. “So, if she didn’t pack a case. We have even less time as she won't need to go through the usual check-in. Damn it. Then we'd better get a move on. Contact Captain Matthews.”

“To do what?” Nico’s shrill voice did little to help my head.

“To stop my fucking plane?” I decided to call Sean and ask him to get the car ready, I could probably have washed my hair by the time Nico got a fucking shift on.

“I'll see what I can do,” he mumbled moodily. Now was not the time to take offence at my black mood.

Thumbing Sean’s number, I shot Nico a death glare and he raised his hands in surrender, lifting his phone to his face, “Sean, bring the Audit around. Yes, I needed to be at White Waltham Airfield ten fucking minutes ago.” I then ended the call and pocketed my phone.

Exhaling and striding towards the front door, Nico flanked me on one side, “Are you sure about this Kai? What if the damage is done and she doesn’t come back? What did you say to her? In answer to your earlier question, she looked like shit by the way.”

Thank fuck for small mercies, “I was a prick to her and didn't tell her how I felt. I lied.”

I was hyper-aware of the time as I yanked open the front door. Sean was steering the car in through the gates, scattering pebbles everywhere.

I stopped, turned, and grabbed Nico by the lapels of his jacket, growling with a pained voice into his face, “I need her, Nico.”

“I know, mate. I could have told you that years ago you mule-headed twat.” He was my best friend as well as my second and I knew it was his obligation to tell me when I was wrong.

And at that moment, I had never been as wrong about anything.

I love you, Ava. And I’m coming to get you.

Releasing my one and only true friend, I shot him a withering look, I barked my earlier instruction, “Call Matthews, now dickhead!”

“Boss.”

Ava

I felt a profound feeling of loss; accompanied by the deepest sadness I had ever experienced. And I didn’t know how to handle it.

After the worst night’s sleep, I felt exhausted; and emotionally drained. Numb almost.

I had tossed and turned, the image of Kai’s face and his hurtful confession echoing in my mind like a recurring nightmare.

“I don’t love you, Ava.”

The unfairness of what had happened was like a huge wave crashing over my head.

As Lester had driven me to the airfield to catch the plane that would take me miles away, my emotions had fluctuated; confusion, anger, loneliness and even a sense of relief. But I knew that last feeling was like a fight or flight response; my body’s way of protecting myself from further harm.

Kai has let you go. He doesn’t love you. He has given you what you have always wanted; your freedom. You should be happy.

So why did I feel like I was dying inside?

As I hugged Lester goodbye and boarded the plane, relief was the last thing I now felt. Agonising pain, rejection, self-doubt—fear? Take your pick.

Fear of never seeing Kai again. Fear of my heart never being whole again.

Loving someone to find out they don’t love you back has got to be one of the worst things that can happen to a person.

I knew Kai cared about me. Just not enough.

How had I gotten it so wrong? If you loved someone, you didn’t let them go.

Not even to protect you?

No!

Rubbing my hand over my face, I attempted to ward off the chaos in my brain. It was almost like two people were having a conversation up there; like my internal monologue had split and was standing in two different corners. I was at war with myself whilst riding an emotional rollercoaster to hell.

I glanced around the plane, feeling anxious and alone. The flight attendants had been professional as they had welcomed me on board. The captain introduced himself before I was shown to my seat. As I had shaken his hand, I forced my mask into place. I didn’t want anyone to know of or see my pain. All it would take was one sympathetic gesture and I would fall apart.

“Miss Cawthorne, please fasten your seatbelt, we will be taxiing towards the runway in around five minutes. Our in-flight services will be available, once the aircraft has reached a cruising altitude. If there is anything you need, please use the call button.”

If there is anything I need? If I pressed it, would Kai appear?

“Thank you,” I replied. She was dressed smartly and was incredibly welcoming. As she smiled and walked away, I glanced around the cabin.

The private jet was small from the outside but surprisingly spacious inside. The seats were cream leather and if I had been having a normal day, I would have enjoyed the comfort. I’d never even flown business class and I suspected this was even more superior. A thought occurred to me. Was this the plane I had been taken aboard when I was unconscious and pumped full of drugs?

I tried to keep hold of that thought, bearing in mind it showed exactly what Kai was capable of, but it made little difference. My heart had chosen and that was that.

The captain’s voice came over the Tannoy, explaining that the weather conditions were good and how high we would be flying. Considering I was the only passenger, I was surprised they bothered, but I supposed the crew would follow their usual protocols.

The engines started up, that roar echoing the sound of the blood rushing in my ears at the thought of the plane taking me hundreds of miles away from Kai. The pain of that thought was like falling on broken glass.

Kai. The love of my life.

Fuck.

As we started moving, I saw two flight attendants at the front of the plane. They were whispering. The door to the cockpit opened and another pilot, different to the captain spoke with them.

I glanced out the window, tears falling down my cheeks. They stung my skin like acid.

I could see parts of the small private terminal as the plane started to taxi towards the runway. The jet slowly started to pick up speed and the cabin rattled. The fasten your seatbelt sign pinged on above me; almost like a beacon of inevitability.

That’s it, I was leaving London.

Goodbye, Kai.

I glanced down at my bare finger, it felt naked without Kai’s ring. Part of me wanted to keep it, but I knew I would find it too painful. Each time I saw it would be a memory better left buried.

A strange noise sounded from the front of the aircraft. Like an alarm. I shifted my gaze, but the staff didn’t seem too bothered. I was a nervous flyer, and always watched for the expressions on the cabin staff. If they looked panicked, I knew I had cause to be.

I heard a bang and then there was a commotion towards the front of the plane. The cockpit door was open and I could see millions of tiny lights, buttons and dials. The flight attendants were about to secure themselves into their jump seats.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back into my seat. I needed to sleep; I was exhausted.

And the first thing I saw was his face; Kai.

My heart lurched in my chest at the same time the aircraft shook violently, and my eyes flew open. Grabbing the armrest of my seat, I heard what sounded like the engines powering down.

Shooting another look down the aisle, both flight attendants had unfastened their seatbelts, puzzled looks on their faces. It was then that I realised the plane had stopped.

Then the captain’s voice came over the speaker which caused me to look to where the sound was coming from.

“This is your captain speaking, please remain seated, we are experiencing a minor delay caused by an obstruction on the runway.”

Obstruction? Maybe there were birds out there. I’d read how they could affect planes taking off.

My brow creased in despair. I’d had the worst of mornings and now the flight was going to shit.

As I looked back towards the front of the aircraft, everyone was now in the cockpit. What the hell were they doing?

I then heard noises from outside, the sound of several engines, shouting and what sounded like a car backfiring.

My face ached from the tears which had now dried on my cheeks and I took a deep breath, contemplating undoing my seatbelt, but the female flight attendant appeared from the cockpit, ashen-faced.

I shuffled up in my seat and grabbed the belt but the woman I had spoken with minutes ago shook her head and raised a hand, “Please stay seated Miss Cawthorne.”

“What’s going on,” I shouted down the aisle.

I saw her throat move as she swallowed, “I’m not sure, I think we’re about to be boarded.”

What the actual fuck?

Straining to see through a porthole window at the other side of the craft, the passenger stair truck was driving slowly towards us. I could hear the vehicle beeping.

Were we taking on another passenger?

And then from the pit of my stomach, a small seed of hope appeared.

Biting my lip, my eyes widened as I watched another man in a pilot’s uniform instruct the woman to release the door.

The captain then appeared, he said something to the crew and relief hit their faces. Well, we weren’t being hijacked then. My day would truly have hit rock bottom then.

I suddenly felt, giddy with an injection of anxiety as my eyes locked on the door.

The staff stood in what looked like a wedding receiving line (and believe me, I knew exactly what one of those looked like).

And then the female flight attendant started to release the door, yanking the huge lever. It swung outside and allowed fresh air to burst into the cabin.

My fingers released my seatbelt and I pushed slowly to my feet. I went hot and cold, fear of the unknown powering through me.

Could it be? That seed of hope bloomed somewhere deep inside me.

My jeans and tee felt like they were sticking to my body. I wore the jeans Kai had kidnapped me in and a pale grey camisole. My pink gym bag sat beside me on another seat.

I had left everything else at the house, including the contract and bank card, Kai had left for me.

My breath hitched as I saw the flight attendant smile nervously and step back and then a male jean-clad thigh appeared through the doorway. Followed by six feet plus of brooding, raw, masculinity.

And raw was the operative word. I have never seen Kai looking so dishevelled.

My heart jumped in my chest and I clutched my throat, shock thrumming through me.

I studied him, feeling thunderstruck. A thrill swept through my core and I had to grab the headrest of the seat in front of mine, to steady myself. My legs were like jelly.

Kai Kinlan stepped further into the cabin. He wore aviators which hid part of his face. His shirt was open halfway, potentially misbuttoned and he must have slept in his clothes looking at the creases.

The man was a wreck. His hair was mussed and there was scruff on his chin.

My mouth dropped open as his head turned in my direction and his body stiffened as he saw me.

The thought that he had come for me made me almost giddy with joy and I stumbled forward, clutching the seats on either side for support.

Kai remained where he was, his hand lifting to pluck the sunglasses from his face.

As those dark eyes, locked onto mine, his mouth curved into a soft smile, his eyes creasing.

Pulling his gaze away, he nodded towards the staff huddled at the front of the plane. Kai may look ruffled and less of his pristine self, but he still oozed authority, his presence sucking all the air from the craft.

I resisted the sudden urge to fling myself at him.

Instead, I walked forward. As I got closer to him, the emotion in his expression was hard to read; relief, regret, hope and tenderness. They wrapped around me like a vice, pulling me towards him like a magnet to metal.

“Kai,” I whispered.

His smile widened as I spoke his name and he turned to the cabin crew, “Thank you, Captain Matthew’s, First Officer Shaw, Tom, Lisa. If you could leave us, please.”

They all glanced between us before moving past Kai and leaving the aircraft. This left us alone.

We both moved together. Kai’s steps were long and sure-footed, mine were shaky and flustered.

“Ava,” he husked, raising his arms, reaching out as I threw myself into his arms, raining kisses on his face.

His strong arms enveloped me in his embrace, lifting me into the air as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Our bodies mushed together, hard against soft, like we were one entity.

The level of joy I felt was off the chart.

Lifting my head, I panted, “What are you doing here?” Kai hugged me against his chest.

“You’re a bright girl, I would have thought that was obvious. I’m here to rectify the colossal mistake I made.”

“Mistake?”

“Yes. Letting you go.”

After squeezing me tightly, he let me slide to my feet, my hands dropping from his hair to his shoulders.

Kai then cupped my face in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Ava. I was a fucking fool. I couldn’t, I can’t let you go. I need you in my life. I lied; I didn’t mean what I said. Please forgive me.”

Before I could answer, he then took my mouth. His kiss was firm and demanding, his tongue stroking against my lips, begging for entry and I opened myself up to him; just like I had my heart the night before.

His hands were in my hair. All I could smell was his intoxicating male scent. I rubbed myself against him. It felt like we had been apart a decade when it was only hours.

Kai drew back, looking down into my face, his hand cradling me. “I love you, Ava. I think I always have. You are the only thing I have ever loved.”

“I love you so much, Kai,” I cried, tears of joy, streaming down my face.

“Please don’t cry. I want to make you happy, but I have no idea, how to do that.”

My heart squeezed as I stared into his perfect face, “Just love me, Kai.” That was all I needed.

Kai stroked my hair and pulled my face against his chest, whispering against the cuff of my ear, “I always have,” he told me, “And I always will.” His words resonated like a vow.

He took a deep breath as he held me tightly against him. I leaned into his strength and that raw masculinity enveloped me.

“Please forgive me. I promise I will do everything to make you happy. I love you so much. Cliched as fuck I know, but I can’t live without you. I’ve had an empty existence over the last two years, they have been the bleakest of my life. I will do whatever it takes; sell the casino, sever ties with the organisation even fuck off the Italians. Do you hear me; anything to make you happy.”

My hands were fisted in his shirt and I drew my head off his chest and stared up at him. Kai looked into my eyes with such tenderness and love. Genuine affection.

“Please, be mine. Forever. Just the two of us.”

“Yes. A million fucking times, yes!” I cried, pushing up into his arms.

And the deal was sealed with a kiss.

Then the sirens started, faint at first but getting louder.

Kai took my hand in his, “What about my stuff?” I said motioning towards my bag.

“Don’t worry, Nico is here, he will collect everything and bring it home. That’s where we’re going. Home, Ava. Our home.”

Kai and I stepped out onto the steps and I glanced around the runway. The breeze blew my hair in all directions. It was chaos outside the plane. There were four SUVs with blackout windows and several armed men; all Kai’s soldiers from the looks of things. Two of the cars were parked across the runway, blocking the plane.

That was the obstruction.

“Oh my God, did you drive your car in front of the plane? You could have been killed,” I gasped.

“Captain Matthews wasn’t taking Nico’s calls. I did what was necessary to stop you from leaving.”

A thrill shot through me at the lengths he’d gone to. It was so romantic.

I squeezed his hand and he smiled, before glancing away.

Several unmarked cars which I knew to be police cars came skidding around the corner, all heading towards the plane.

“Shit,” Kai muttered.

“I assume they’re not with you?”

He grinned as we started to walk down the steps, raising a hand to stand his men down as they went to draw their weapons. It looked like there were around five police cars and a riot van. It would have been a blood bath.

Shit. What next? Were we going to spend the first night of our lives together, behind bars?

At the bottom of the steps, Kai turned me to face him.

“I love you with all my heart, Ava Cawthorne. I’m no one without you. It’s taken me years to get my head around it. I’ve been a stubborn fool, thinking I needed no one. But I was wrong. You made me want to be a better man. And I will do what needs to be done. I will change, be who you want me to be.”

“I want you just as you are, Kai. I always have.”

We then shared a passionate kiss, surrounded by shouts and slamming doors.

The police then swarmed around us with their weapons drawn and I saw Nico climb out of one of the cars, instructing the men to surrender.

And as Kai drew back, he looked down at me, kissed my nose and said, “We have much to discuss, Ava Cawthorne. But we have the rest of our lives to do it.”

“Yes,” I said with a smile as we were approached by two men in suits.

“Kai Kinlan?” one barked.

Kai didn’t turn towards those men, one of which had cuffs attached to a belt at his waist.

The love of my life’s smile got meatier and he winked. He didn’t appear at all concerned by what was about to happen. “I’ve never highjacked a plane before. You think they’d let me off considering I own it.”

“Will they let you off?”

“I doubt it. It’s not about the plane, it's about the disruption.”

“Alright lovebirds, step away Mr Kinlan, hands where I can see them,” the larger policeman of the two said.

And Kai stepped away, raising his hands, “As I said, the rest of our lives, but you’ll need to give me a couple of hours to straighten this out. Nico is waiting to take you home. I will see you later.”

“Are you being arrested?” I said, concern shooting through me at the thought of Kai being sent to prison.

He shook his head, “Not for long. It’s time to get my hands smacked. I’ll see you back at the house my darling girl.”

“I love you, Kai.”

“I know.”

After one last exchange between Kai and me, I stepped back, watching as they led him away. The man I would spend the rest of my life with…

In handcuffs.