Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
HALF FULL GLASSES
Jules
“It’s been an entire month. We’ve been to dinners, art shows, to the cinema, to fucking Bayswater to shop for curtains. He holds my hand, he opens the door for me, he texts to say good morning. But he hasn’t even tried to kiss me again, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” I drop onto my bed with a frustrated grunt, and my phone flies out of my hands and clatters onto the floor. “Hold on,” I shout and then snag it and hold it back up so Reena can see my face.
But all I see is the top of her dark head bent over her laptop. “Look at me when I’m freaking out.”
She holds up one finger and then goes back to whatever she’s typing. I glare at the screen. “What are you working on that’s more important than this?”
She stops typing and moves her mouse around, finally looking at me. “I’ve got a brief due on Monday. And I told you already, he’s a commitment-phobe.” She widens her eyes as if to say, “What part of that didn’t you understand?”
I shake my head in disagreement, but my stomach sinks at the reminder. “We’ve been on dates, he comes over several times a week. But he’s never invited me over to his place.”
“Really?” She frowns. “Not once?”
“No. He’s doing renovations, but he’s still living there, so it can’t be that bad.” I groan.
A month ago, I thought we’d spend a couple of dates talking a bit and then he’d fall all over me because he couldn’t stand not touching me the way I couldn’t stand not touching him. At first, I thought he was waiting for my nose to heal. The last of the dressing has been gone for a week. I invited him over when I got the all-clear from my doctor to resume all physical activity. “He came over and gave me a scalp massage that I was sure was foreplay. But then he kissed me on the cheek and left like he always does.”
“That doesn’t sound like him,” she says with a frown.
“Could he be sleeping with someone else?” I ask Reena. My stomach bottoms out at the thought of him spending time with me but sleeping with someone else. “How would I even know?”
“You wouldn’t. And I doubt it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut to banish the visual of him naked, kissing someone else. It turns my insides to mush. “Oh God. Am I being an idiot?”
“Jules, you’re normally so optimistic.”
“Well, I’m not my normal self. I feel so…exposed.” I draw my knees up and rest my cheek on them. “I’m falling for a rich, sexy, famous man who’s only passing through. I’m stupid, aren’t I?”
She slams her computer closed and picks up her phone so that her face is finally fully in frame. “Honestly, babe? I’m surprised. Last week you said, ‘His commitment phobia and transiency is this thinking woman’s catnip.’”
I narrow my eyes at her terrible impersonation. “I do not sound like that.”
She smiles. “In my head you do. And I’m glad you’ve had the opportunity to prove yourself wrong.”
“I’m not a thinking woman after all?” I say with more than just a little self-pity.
“That you’re a feeling woman. And maybe I’m judging him based on outdated information. The fact that you’ve spent so much time together means something. And I could see that night that he likes you.”
“If that’s true, then why hasn’t he kissed me again?”
“I don’t know. But I also don’t know why, when it comes to him, your usual glass half full approach doesn’t apply.”
“That’s not true. If it was I wouldn’t have approached him in the first place. I’m just not sure what I have to show for it. What if he is having sex with someone else while he grooms me for my deflowering or whatever?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“I have some pride.”
She sighs heavily and shakes her head. “Well, I hope that pride will be comforting when your vagina finally grows cobwebs. If you want to know, ask him. And if you don’t feel like you can, then maybe he’s not right for you.”
I groan and then wiggle my shoulder to shake it off. “You’re right. I’m going to put on my big girl knickers and just find out.” I stand and rush into the bathroom. I’m covering Jodi’s shift tonight. I glance at the clock on my wall. “I have just enough time.”
“Time for what?”
“To fill this glass the rest of the way up.”