Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
FEAST OR FAMINE
Omar
I stood in line and only realized I’d forgotten my wallet at home when it was my turn to place an order. “You take Apple Pay here?”
“Look around, mate, what do you think?” The man sweating over his kebab stand scowls at me. I’d been in such a rush to get out of that conversation about my dad. She’s right. I want him to stay. But I don’t know how to ask.
“Sorry.” I walk back up the high street and decide to just pick up food at the Effra. I have a running tab there. I place my food order and then step outside to call Layel.
“If feast or famine were a person, it would be you.” My sister’s exasperated relief is melodramatic, but I figure she’s entitled to it. “Finally. My hail Marys have been answered.”
“Well, here I am. You better start talking before an act of divine mercy cuts us off, too.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I’m not laughing. I’m calling to see how likely you think it is that Dad won’t resign if I ask.”
“One hundred percent.”
I groan. “Shit. Why hasn’t he called me?”
She groans. “God, no wonder you two butt heads so much. You sound just like him.”
“I’m nothing like him,” I say, when in truth I’m afraid I’m everything like him. Being with Jules has shown me just how much my behavior mirrors his. He didn’t forgive my mother, and I can’t forgive him.
She grunts in disgust. “Ask him. And enough about our endless family drama. I want to talk about the real reason I’ve been trying to reach you. I saw your Instagram story. She sounds amazing.”
“She is.” I smile to myself.
“Oh my God, you just sighed.” She sounds as shocked as I feel. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”
“Shut up. She’s the only person I’m nice to.”
“Well, congratulations. I wish I hadn’t seen it online before you told me, though.”
“It happened quickly, Lay.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re not alone, but I will fuck her up if she tries to keep you over there.”
“I’ll bring her home as soon as I can. I know you’ll love her.”
“Did you vet her?”
“Are you kidding?” I scoff.
“No. You’re rich. Connected, powerful. You can’t let just anyone in your life.”
“God, don’t start. Please.”
“I just love you.”
“And you want to make sure the only people who live off me are related by blood?”
“You are such an asshole.”
I put my phone down on the bar and try to convince myself not to feel bad about what I said. It’s true. That house she wants to put on the market was paid for by me. Her trips back and forth to Houston have all been on the expenses I’ve signed off on every month. She spends money without a single thought for where it comes from.
But until the shit with my mother, I’d never cared before. In fact, I’ve always felt lucky that I’ve been in a position to provide for my family. It’s an honor, and thanks to my father I’ve done well enough that it’s not a financial hardship.
Layel isn’t a mooch. She’s stayed home when I know she might not have if I’d been around. But my dad was alone, and she didn’t want him to be. She had dreams she didn’t chase to keep us as cohesive as possible. All while taking care of her kids.
I have a whole team of people to do the things I don’t want or have the time to do. But I’ve never needed a personal assistant because Layel keeps my personal calendar, pays my personal bills, balances my personal accounts, and makes sure I’m at every family and corporate function. Money I can spare is the least I owe her. Jules is right—holding on to my anger is turning me into someone I’m not.
I pull out my phone and call her back.
She answers on the first ring. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I love you and would kick anyone else’s ass who talked to you like that.”
“I know. And I love you, too. But this is what anger does when you hold on to it, O. Call Dad. Work this out so you can move on.”
“I promise I will think about it. I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole, and thank you for loving me anyway.”
“I can’t help it. And despite what you think, I understand how you feel.”
Next, I call my father. My stomach is in knots while it rings, and then I relax when it goes to voicemail. I don’t normally leave messages, but I do this time.
“Dad, it’s me. I’m sorry for what I said. I wish you’d told me the truth about where she was. But I understand why you didn’t. I also hope you know that whatever she and I might have become… I know I’ve only got one parent . I know there’s no amount of money that would persuade you to leave my side. I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t been there. I miss you. And I hope you’ll consider staying. I need you. Okay. Sorry for the long message. I’m becoming more like you every day, I guess. Bye.”
I stroll back in to wait for the food. “Omar, what’s up?” Dominic greets as I walk in.
“Nothing, getting dinner and heading home.”
“We miss having Jules upstairs. How’s she doing?”
“Fine. Settling in.” I snap my fingers as a thought occurs to me. “You know, I think I left a book in her flat. Can I go up and look or do you have a tenant in already?”
He frowns. “No, Jules is still on the lease. She didn’t want to end it early, and it had six months on it.”
“Oh, okay. I must have forgotten. I’ll go check and be right back.” I walk into the flat and flip the switch by the door. A small halogen lamp in the corner comes on. But as the room brightens up, I notice for the first time how small and dimly lit her flat is. Maybe it’s because she’s not here to brighten and expand it the way she does every space she enters. Like she has my heart. I can’t wait for her to meet my family and friends.
When she comes back from this work trip, I’ll ask her if she wants to come to Houston for Christmas. It’s six weeks away now, so hopefully she’ll be able to take a break. I grab a slice of Jodi’s famous rum cake and head home.