Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
RUNNING IN CIRCLES
Omar
I planned on going to the airport. But then I remembered Reece was coming tomorrow and that I have a key to his place that he gave me to use in case of emergencies.
If this doesn’t qualify as an emergency, I don’t know what would.
I send him a text to let him know I’m there and turn my phone off.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. About anything.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this conflicted about or angry with anyone as I am with Jules right now. I don’t believe for a second that she killed her father. I can’t imagine her—alone, so young, facing an impossible future after losing so much. I just don’t understand why she didn’t tell me. But the lie, the fact that she was going to let me go and make a fond memory.
I lie down on the couch, vacillating from wishing I’d never met her, to wishing she’d trusted me, to understanding why she didn’t. But when sleep finally claims me, all I know for certain is that my heart is completely broken.
The smell of coffee wakes me up. I glance at my watch and groan. It’s a few minutes past noon. The clink of plates from the kitchen brings me fully awake. “What the hell?” I rush down the stairs two at a time until I see Reece sitting at the kitchen table. “What are you doing here?”
“Last I checked this is my place,” he says and looks me up and down. “You look like hell.”
“I thought you were coming tomorrow.”
“It is tomorrow.” He raises an eyebrow.
I realize for the first time that the light in the room is from the windows he’s drawn the blinds up on and not the overhead lights I used last night. “Shit.” I run a hand through my hair and look around the room. I should be at home.
“If you’ve lost track of the days, then whatever’s got you here must be a crisis.”
I scowl at him. “I’m not having a crisis.”
He studies me with a dubious frown. “Last time you had this much hair on your face was after Chelsea let you go.”
I curl my lip at his insinuation and brush the crumbs off my T-shirt. “I’m fine. Just being a bum. Is that a crime?”
“What happened with your lady?”
“How’d you know?”
“Because you told the whole world that she’d made a believer out of you. Then you text that you need a place to crash, when you have a whole house less than thirty minutes away.“
“We had a fight, and I just need to think, Reece,” I grumble and turn to walk back up the stairs and head for the nest I’ve made on the couch.
He puts a forceful hand on my shoulder. “Nope. Don’t sit down. You need to shower, shave, and eat. You go do the first two, I’ll order breakfast, and we can eat while we talk.”
I hate being told what to do, but after being stuck in this holding pattern of inaction, I’m grateful for the kick in the pants.
I can feel his eyes on me as I leave the kitchen, and I can only imagine what he’s thinking.
I’m thinking about Jules. I’m afraid to turn on my phone. What if she hasn’t called?
I try not to let that worry me as I shower.
But it’s like trying not to breathe.
I keep replaying the scene when I left. I’m ashamed that I left her crying like that, but I didn’t know what else to do.
The door’s buzzer sounds, and I finish getting dressed and go join Reece in the kitchen. He’s on the phone, listening more than he’s speaking. I grab a steaming cup of coffee and two croissants and take advantage of his preoccupation to eat. When the flaky warm pastry hits my tongue, I groan. I haven’t eaten in…I don’t know how long.
Reece puts his phone down and grabs a cup of coffee. “So what sank the Love Boat ?”
“It’s not funny.”
“Sorry, just trying to add a little levity.”
“She’s been lying to me about something. I found out.”
“I see,” he drawls. “What did she lie about?”
“I trust you with my life. But it’s not my story to tell.”
“No need to explain. I’m glad to hear it, actually. It means as mad as you are, you’re not ready to turn your back on her.”
“You know me. By now, I’d be done. I don’t want to be done with her. She’s genuinely sorry. I love her, so fucking much. I just don’t know how to live with the truth.”
“Okay, so we have to fix this. Can you give me an idea of the severity of her lie? Like on a scale of ‘these aren’t my natural breasts’ to ‘I’m married.’ Where would you say it falls?”
I choose my words carefully, telling him as much as I can without saying too much.
“She has a criminal record. She never said a word about it, made up a whole story about her background. I only found out because someone from her past showed up and started blackmailing her. She still tried to hide it all.”
“Woah, shit. I see.” Reece’s expression is grim. I can’t imagine what he’d think if I told him the whole thing.
“She pled guilty, but only because her lawyer advised her to.”
“Do you believe her?”
“Yes.”
“And she’s the one?”
“Yes. If she’s not the one, then there isn’t a ‘one’ out there for me. She’s perfect. A little messy, a little less than punctual, but fuck, Reece. Yes. I was sure, so sure. And then I wasn’t. And she was crying. I didn’t know what to do.”
“So you ran.”
“I didn’t run.”
“You always run when you don’t want to deal with something.”
“No, I don’t.”
“From LA to London, from London back to LA. From LA to Houston. From Houston to London. Now, you’re thinking of going back to LA.” He ticks off all my moves on his fingers. “Face it, you’re a runner.”
I open my mouth to argue and then shut it. Maybe he has a point. “I just needed to think.”
“When was that?”
“Ten hours ago.”
“And you haven’t spoken? You shouldn’t let the sun go down with you and your woman not on the same page.”
“You’re not helping.”
“But did leaving make things better?”
I run my fingers through my hair and growl in frustration. At myself.
“No.”
“And can you understand why she didn’t tell you? Not excusing it, but asking if you can see how she could love you, live with you, but keep that secret.”
“No, actually I can’t. If she’d told me sooner?—”
Reece’s short, sharp chuckle stops me mid-sentence and seems to take him by surprise, too. His eyes widen, and he runs a hand over his grin while he subdues it into a thoughtful frown.
I raise an eyebrow in surprised annoyance. “What the fuck is funny?”
He clears his throat. “I’m sorry, I had a random, unimportant thought. Go ahead, finish your sentence. Please.” He waves his hand a few times, gesturing like he’s giving me the right of way. “If she’d told you sooner—” he prompts.
I rewind back to where I’d stopped talking but can’t remember how I was going to finish that sentence. Would I have responded differently?
“I don’t know,” I answer finally.
“I have a theory. And I want you to hear me out and think about it before you respond.” He raises both of his eyebrows. “Deal?”
“Fine. Just say it.”
“Does she know about the situation with your dad?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“So… she knows you haven’t spoken to your own father in months. Can you imagine why she might be afraid to tell you?”
“It’s my fault she deceived me?”
He holds a hand up in protest. “All I’m saying is if she didn’t tell you, maybe it’s because she knew she couldn’t. She’s human, Omar. We’re terrified of losing the things and people we love.”
“Are you telling me you’d be okay with your wife keeping her past from you?”
“I’ve accepted that you can only know as much about someone as they want you to know.”
“Bullshit.”
“That’s life. You never finish getting to know someone. It’s the gamble we take when we let our guards down.”
“I’m not a gambler.”
“Then you need to leave this woman alone. Because if you tell her you love her and ask her to share your life, then you don’t get to pick and choose which parts of her to keep. You’ve got to accept all of her or nothing.”
I eye Reece while I weigh his words. He’s given up a lot. His job as head of his family’s film studio, his home in Los Angeles to move to Baja where they’ve made a home until she can live here permanently again.
“Do you have any regrets? About Lucia?”
He doesn’t even look up to reply. “Not a single one. She’s my world. No one comes with a lifetime warranty. They are going to break, fuck up. And it’s up to you how you move forward. I know you’re mad. But if you even think you might be able to forgive her, then you need to talk, figure it out. Or not. But it’s not fair to go dark.”
“I know.” Yes, she owes me an apology, but I owe her one, too. I really hurt her.
I turn my phone on. There are dozens of texts but none from her.
I check my voicemail and breathe a sigh of relief. There’s a voicemail from this morning.
I listen to it twice before I check the time. She left this ninety minutes ago. She’s got to be on her way back. I could get there in twenty minutes if I’m lucky.
“I have to go.”
“I figured. So I guess dinner’s off tonight?”
I’m about to agree but take a page out of Jules’ book and shake my head. “No, it’s on. But come to the house.”
“Okay, Mr. Optimistic.”
“Thank you, man. She’s rubbed off on me.”
He nods and looks up from his phone with a smirk on his face. “You’re really in love. Holy shit .”
“I know, man…I hope I didn’t damage the bridge I’ve spent the last nine months building beyond repair.”
God, I’ve been a complete hypocrite. It took me twenty years to tell my father the truth about what happened that day.
And Reece is right. It’s not fair to ask her to be honest with me and then push her away because the truth wasn’t what I wanted to hear. She’s not the only one who broke faith. My stomach knots. I just hope she can forgive me.