Chapter Two
OAKLEY
“What do you say to going out for a bit today?” Aunt Kathy asks, her voice purposefully casual as she pours some coffee for the both of us. “I want to do some shopping for your welcoming party, and I figured we could have it next week, so I have an excuse to go all out for the Fourth of July.”
I can tell by the look in her eyes that she expects me to have an excuse ready, but I just take my coffee from her and sip at it, sighing happily at the soothing warmth. I shrug easily and nod, biting back a yawn.
“Sure, we can do that,” I agree. “We could make a girl’s day out of it if you want? I know you were saying something about that new brunch place a few days ago.”
The look on her face warms my heart and makes me wish I’d pulled myself out of my funk earlier. I’m serious about starting my new life here, and that starts with spending time with the people I love who live here.
“Brunch sounds perfect,” she says, her eyes bright with excitement.
After we finish our coffee, I head upstairs to shower and slick my lips with gloss. We bundle into her sleek little convertible and sing along to the radio, enjoying the gentle breeze of the late September air. Aunt Kathy knows the owner of the cute little bistro on the East side, and she talks me into ordering something unreasonably expensive off the menu and lets me sip her mimosa when the waiter isn’t looking. It’s a cute spot, and even though we’re sitting out on the patio, the traffic noise isn’t so loud that we have to shout at each other to be heard.
“So,” I ask, arching a brow at my aunt as she finishes telling me about her decoration plans for the party, “who’s even going to be there? Sounds like you’re setting up for quite the party.”
She’s already halfway through her second mimosa, and her movements are starting to get looser, the buzz of champagne making her giggly and playful. The table we’re sitting at has a bunch of little sketches engraved roughly into the wood, worn soft over time, and I trace my fingers over a few of them as she picks at the yogurt bowl she ordered.
“Oh, it’s nothing too crazy, pinky promise,” she says, grinning widely. “I’m inviting a few friends of mine. Some of Ricky’s coworkers have said they’ll stop by.”
So there'll probably be at least fifty people, knowing her. Aunt Kathy is known for many things, but casual get-togethers are not one of those things. She loves extravagant parties and expensive alcohol, and she takes every excuse she can find to set up a party. Regardless, she’s never short of party guests to fill the penthouse with.
“You’ve already met some of them,” she barrels on as she refills her mimosa from the pitcher on the table. “You remember Shannan, the golfer? He’s in town, so I’m sure he’ll make an appearance.”
She’s excited and a little bit past buzzed, and although I roll my eyes at the way she chatters along and gestures a little excessively with her hands, it’s infectious. I find myself giggling even as I reach out to pull the mimosa from her hand before she can accidentally dump it on the concrete. She pouts at me playfully, but allows me to return it safely to a solid surface.
“And it’ll be good for you to meet the rest of Ricky’s team. I know they were out of the office last time you stopped by,” she says as she slips a straw into her glass. “Are you excited to start your internship?”
I take a sip of my drink to give myself a moment to think before I answer. I’m still nervous about everything, no matter how serious I am about making the best of it. It’s a lot of change all at once, and I’m used to life moving at a much slower pace.
“Yeah,” I answer, my voice a little shaky. “Next week!”
She smiles at me softly over the rim of her mimosa, her eyes warm.
“You’ve got nothing to be nervous about,” she tells me. “I know it’s a lot, but you’re going to do great.”
“I hope so,” I agree quietly.
I suddenly find it hard to meet her eyes, my gaze falling back to the waffles on my plate as I stab my fork through another bite and bring it up to my lips. What if I’m awful at it? What if I let everyone down and don’t have anything to fall back on? What if my plans don’t work out and I have absolutely no idea where to turn? What if I have to go back home and face everyone? Face him?
“How’ve you been holding up, Oakie?” she asks gently, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I smile at the nickname, the easy affection taking my mind off my mounting panic, even if only for a few moments.
“It’s been hard,” I answer honestly, shrugging as I push my waffles around my plate. “It’s a lot of change, a lot that I’m not used to. I’m kind of keeping myself sane by running right now. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Aunt Kathy’s eyes sparkle as she laughs, and she tips her head back with an affectionate sigh.
“I’m glad someone gets use out of that gym,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Your uncle was so insistent that we get it built, and he still goes to the gym he met his trainer at.”
I chuckle along with her, taking a sip of my tea to keep myself from sighing. I’m not lying when I say that running is all that’s keeping me sane, but I don’t want my aunt to see just how rough around the edges I am right now. I don’t want her to worry any more than I’m sure she already does, and, well, I am keeping myself sane.
“That definitely sounds like him,” I say with a forced laugh. “I’m really glad it’s there, honestly. I’m trying to get used to everything out here, so it’s nice to have something familiar to keep me a little more grounded.”
“Look at you,” she sighs fondly. “All grown up.”
I look up, seeing the way her face is torn between pride and worry, and I realize that I’ve let my happy mood slip quite a bit. I do my best to shake my growing bad mood off and take another sip of my tea, smiling widely.
“I’m really excited about the internship.” Excited, nervous, terrified. “I’m going to work my ass off.”
My words seem to have the opposite effect I intended them to, and I wince when I see the shadow of concern flicker in my aunt’s eyes.
“Just remember not to push yourself too hard while you’re at it, alright?” she asks.
“Promise,” I say, keeping my voice bright and happy as I take another bite of my waffles.
Hesitant silence falls between the two of us, and I glance around the patio, taking in the cute little string lights and the water bowls for people’s dogs tucked by one of the walls. Can I imagine myself here, in five years, bringing my purebred Chihuahua named Coco to lunch as if they’re my only companion? I’m trying to distract myself, but I know all I’m really doing is waiting impatiently for my aunt to break the quiet. She has never been the quiet type, and usually when she’s not chattering, it’s because she has something important to say.
I just don’t know if I can handle important right now.
She reaches across the table and takes my hand, twining our fingers together and squeezing. Her face is open and soft, welcoming, and I feel myself tense slightly.
Looks like it doesn’t matter if I can handle it right now.
“Look, Oakie, I don’t want to pry,” she says in a voice that makes it obvious that she knows she’s prying, “but I know things haven’t been easy recently. I called your mom last night to see if there’s anything I can do, but my sister has always been good at keeping secrets.” She sighs, smiling sadly at me. “I just want you to know I’m here if you want to talk about whatever’s going on.”
I hesitate, just wanting to forget about all of it. I got away from everything, and I wish I could just stop thinking about it entirely. There’s a quote that I can never remember properly, something about going through hell and how the only thing to do is to keep going, and I square my shoulders.
One foot in front of the other.
My eyes are stuck on the plate in front of me even though my appetite flees from me, but I squeeze down on my aunt’s hand as I take a shaky breath.
“Jaime and I broke up.” The words tumble out rough and dry. That much is obvious, considering the fact that he’s not here with me and that I haven’t said a word about him since moving in, but it still feels like a massive admittance. “He decided to go on the circuit. I found out from one of his friends. And then I found him kissing another girl.”
She makes a soft sound of sympathy, her fingers tight on mine as my lip wobbles. The pain still feels so fresh, the memories so vibrant.
“I wasn’t even mad that he was going on the circuit, I was just mad he didn’t tell me,” I say, a pained laugh falling from my lips. “I went to go yell at him about it, and he was kissing a girl who’d been trying to get with Bo for ages. Jamie said she kissed him, but I don’t know what to believe. It doesn’t matter either way, I guess.”
Aunt Kathy takes a breath to say something, but the words are tumbling from my lips now, and I can’t stop them. It’s like a dam broke, and now that I’m finally saying any of it out loud, it all comes rushing out.
“I still miss him,” I admit, my voice hardly more than a whisper. “We were going to get married. I just always thought we’d be together, and I have no clue what to do now that we’re not.”
She pulls her hand from mine to reach into her purse, rummaging around before pressing a travel pack of tissues into my palm. I smile at her weakly and pull one out, sniffling as I dab at my eyes.
“He’s already gotten more of your tears than he deserves, honey,” she tells me firmly. “I know it hurts, and it’s going to, for a while, but you’ll be alright. Sometimes people change over time, and this is a big period of change for both of you.”
I nod, knowing she’s right. It is a lot of change to work through, and my dad always reminded me that high school relationships almost never work out. I guess I just always thought Jamie and I would be the exception. Apparently, everyone else was right.
That doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though.
“What’s meant to be will be, and what isn’t will fade into memory,” she promises, the look in her eyes trusting and patient when I look up to meet her gaze. “You’re a tough cookie, Oakie.”
I laugh, the sound coming out watery, but I’m glad that none of my tears fall. She’s right. I’ve already wasted plenty of tears on Jamie Walker, and I’ve already decided I’m not going to give him any more.
“Thank you,” I whisper, my smile wobbly, but more honest now. “Really, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, kiddo.” Her green eyes are full of warmth and love, and I know she means every word. “I’ll always be here for you.”
I nod, dabbing at my eyes one last time before I reach for my tea and take a sip to soothe my throat. I feel a little better having told her about everything, a little lighter.
“And I know the change is a lot, but just remember that it’s not all bad,” she continues. “You’re in New York! You’re going to be in college for the next four years. You can turn this change into whatever you want it to be.”
It’s nice to hear the reminder that I’m allowed to be overwhelmed, but she’s right. Everything here is new. New life, new directions, new dreams.
I can be a whole new person here.
“You’re right,” I say, surprised at how firm my voice is, how easily my smile comes this time. “I’m going to live my own life here. I’m not going to compromise on what I want, not for anyone. I’m going to chase my own dreams.”
“That’s the spirit,” she cheers, her eyes twinkling with love and pride as she grins at me. “It’s ok to let the past go, even if it hurts. You just keep your eyes on the road in front of you and have faith it’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.”
I feel so much better about everything, and all I had to do was eat some waffles with my favorite aunt to figure it out. I still don’t have any concrete plans, but I at least have a direction to look in now. That little kernel of hope that’s been sprouting in my chest grows another spurt as I let my mind run off in a million different directions, thinking of all the possibilities at my fingertips out here.
As I pass the pack of tissues back to her, my aunt leans back over the table, grinning conspiratorially at me. I grin back slowly, knowing that look only ever leads to shenanigans of some sort.
“I think I know exactly what’ll cheer you up properly,” she says, wiggling her brows in excitement.
“Oh?” I ask, unable to stop myself from giggling at her antics.
“You need a new dress for that party,” she tells me, and I know there’s no use arguing with her once she’s made up her mind. “Let’s go shopping and make your uncle’s eyes bug out when he sees the credit card statement for this month.”
I toss my head back on a laugh, the feeling of easy joy almost foreign after having moped around the house for so long. It feels freeing.
“You’re just using me as an excuse to spend money, aren’t you?” I tease.
“Absolutely, I am,” she agrees without hesitation. “We might as well stop by the salon since we’re out, too. You’ll feel like a new woman.”
I shake my head and grin at her, but I don’t say no, letting her tug me out of my seat after she sets some cash down on the table to cover our bill.
“Come on,” she grins, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “Let’s go have fun.”