Chapter Fifteen
JAMIE
It’s more than a little unreal to wake up and see Oakley in my bed. The morning light is soft, resting on her cheek and making her hair shine. She’s tucked into my side, still dozing, and I reach up to drag my fingers through her hair disbelievingly.
My shoulder twinges at the movement, immediately reminding me of the bitter truth.
This isn’t how all of this was supposed to go. I got my girl back, sure, but I’m a fucking mess. I don’t have a career anymore—hell, I probably have to find something completely new. The doctors all told me I most likely won’t ever be able to get on a bull again because of the damage to my leg and shoulder. I have no way to support myself anymore, much less build a proper life for Oakley.
Fuck, I wasn’t good enough for her to begin with. Now, I’m nothing but a washed up ex-circuit rider with no clue what to do in life.
Oakley lets out a quiet huff, her head twitching as she flutters her lashes against the sunlight. She wakes up slowly, just like always. A long yawn rises from her as she stretches, and then she shifts onto her side to shy away from the light. I smile down at her, torn between frustration with how my life has turned out and pure bliss at having her in my bed again.
“Morning, princess.”
Her smile is lazy and so full of love that it almost hurts to look at, and she lifts her hand to trace over the stubble on my chin.
“You look sad,” she says quietly, gently following the line of my neck down to my shoulder, just petting across my skin.
It feels so good to have her hands back on me that I can almost forget my worries. Even if I could, she’d still know something is bothering me. I’m just…not ready to talk about it. I want to bask in the happiness for just a little longer.
“How about I take my girl out to breakfast?” I say. “Ruby’s should be open. We can get you some waffles.”
She brightens instantly at the mention of waffles, and I see her concern fade into excitement. We’ll have to talk about this all eventually, but I think both of us just want some time together again.
“You know I can’t say no to that.”
We crawl out of bed in between kisses and lingering touches. Oakley helps steady me without me even having to ask for it, and I wish I could be touched by her thoughtfulness. She’s always done everything she can to make me happy, and now I can do even less to repay her for it. I try not to let my gaze linger on the bare skin of her stomach as she pulls her shirt back over her head, but the temptation is too much to resist.
“We should probably stop by my house before we go out,” she says as she buttons her jeans up. “I’d rather not wear the same clothes I showed up in.”
I snort out a laugh, but don’t argue with her. It was after dark when she got here, and I doubt she ran into too many folks on the way home from the airport, but folks will have enough gossip to fuel the fires just with us getting back together. No need to give them anything more to work with.
“I’m sure your dad will be thrilled to see me.”
She winces a bit at that, huffing out a sigh. I meant it more as a joke than anything—his reaction to seeing me now can’t be worse than the last time he laid eyes on me.
“It’s already eight,” she says. “He’s probably out working already.”
I pull her in for one more kiss before we head downstairs. It’s somehow even better than every time before, the morning light soft around us, her hair tousled from sleep. My body aches, but that’s something I’m starting to get used to. It’s not as bad as it was in the beginning. And with Oakley in my arms again, I think I’d be able to handle any agony life can throw my way.
That idea gets tested before we even make it out of the house.
As soon as we reach the bottom landing of the stairs, my dad rounds the kitchen corner. A steaming mug of coffee is in his hand, and his face is set into a disappointed grimace before he even meets my eyes. It stings, the staunch reminder that if I can’t ride the circuit, he wants nothing to do with me, but it’s the way he looks at Oakley that gets my blood boiling properly.
“ You’re here, then.”
He drags his eyes over her in annoyance and disgust, and I feel her go stiff behind me. Her fingers tighten around mine in anxiety. I shift protectively in front of her, drawing my dad’s attention back to me. All he does is snort indifferently, shaking his head as he stomps his way out to the barn.
Oakley flinches when the door bangs shut behind him, then sighs in shaky relief as the tension slowly fades from the air.
“And we were worried about my dad,” she jokes weakly.
I don’t tell her that that’s more than he’s said to me since I got thrown. I take a moment to unclench my jaw and relax my hand from the fist it curled into before turning back to her with what I hope is a convincing smile.
“I think breakfast is calling our names,” I say. “Let’s get some food in you.”
The promise of waffles is always enough to get her moving, and we make our way to the car in no time. The drive to her house is a short one, but we spend it in uncharacteristic silence. It’s never been hard to find something to fill the quiet with around Oakley, but there’s so much to catch up on that neither of us can find the words to start.
It’s actually a relief when Oakley’s house comes into sight.
Well, it’s a relief for about five seconds.
Oakley reaches for her seatbelt to unclip herself, a warm smile on her face.
“I’ll be right out,” she says.
The front door slams open just as she leans over the center console to kiss me.
Both of us jolt apart from each other as her dad storms his way down the driveway. I can’t hear what he’s saying yet, but I can tell he’s cursing a blue streak.
“Shit!”
Oakley jumps to exit the car, the door slamming closed behind her only seconds after her feet touch the dirt road. I curse under my breath as I struggle with my own seatbelt, my entire chest aching sharply when I try to move too quickly. By the time I make it out of the car, Oakley and her dad are already halfway into a screaming match.
“I’m not going to stand for that good for nothing?—”
“ Shut up !” Oakley shouts, cutting her dad off entirely. “I don’t care what you’ll stand for! I love Jamie! I’ve loved him this whole time, and I’m not giving him up for anyone!”
Her chest is heaving, her cheeks flushed pink with anger. It’s rare to see her get so worked up over anything, and knowing that she’s standing up for me has me a little lightheaded. I haven’t done anything in my life to deserve her.
The look in her dad’s eyes tells me he knows that just as well as I do.
Oakley turns on her heel and marches right back to the car, positively fuming. I’m only barely out of my seat, standing half a step away from the open driver’s side door.
“Get in the car, Jamie,” she says sharply.
I glance back at her dad, shock obvious on his face, but he’s not looking at me. I may not be the brightest, but I know better than to ignore my girl when she’s like this, so I obediently fold myself back into the car. David firmly ignores the awkward nod I send his way as I back out of the driveway.
I love Oakley to hell and back, but her dad isn’t wrong, even if I wish he was. I am a good for nothing with no idea what to do with my life.
I reach over to grab her hand, twining our fingers together in an attempt to soothe both of us. She clutches onto me, digging her nails into my skin. It’s grounding, knowing that she needs me as much as I need her.
“I love you,” she whispers into the quiet.
“I love you, too.”
It’s not the first time we’ve said it, not by far, but it feels a little like something new. This time is different, and I don’t exactly know how.
“When are you going back to school?” I ask.
It’s an awkward change of subject, but the air between us is so heavy with a million unspoken things, and I suddenly desperately need to know how long I have left with her. Even if her leaving this time won’t mean the same thing, I just…need to know.
“I, uh.” She cuts herself off, laughing weakly as I turn into the parking lot. “I don’t think I’m going back.”
I damn near crash the car pulling into a parking spot. I only barely remember to stomp on the brakes through my shock, my head whipping to the side so I can stare at her, eyes wide.
“What do— what ?”
She lets out a nervous chuckle, glancing around the parking lot, and I realize there are cars behind us, waiting for me to shake off my stupor and get out of the way. I pull into an empty spot, trying to make my brain work again.
“I’m staying here,” she says. “I’m transferring to the state university with Phoebe. I want to stay here. I…I want to stay with you, Jamie.”
The look she gives me is hesitant and hopeful, and I won’t deny that a part of me is rejoicing. Mostly, I just feel guilty. I can’t let her throw everything out for me.
“You can’t do that, Oakley,” I stammer out. “It’s not like I want you to go , but you can’t just stay here.”
Her gaze shifts from excited to entirely unimpressed, and she unbuckles her seatbelt without a word. She steps out of the car as I scramble to explain myself, but she pays no attention to the words falling frantically from my lips. I rush to turn the car off and unbuckle my own seatbelt, but before I have the chance to spring out to chase after her, my door opens.
Oakley is standing there, looking somewhere between amused and exasperated, and she holds her hand out to me expectantly. I hesitate before taking it and allowing her to help me out of the car. My leg twinges in protest at the movement, but I power through the discomfort.
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.” Her voice is firm, but affectionate, and she leans up to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “I know you think I’m too good for anything but Harvard, but I’m going to be happier here than I was in New York. My mind is made up, Jamie.”
I know that arguing will only upset her, but I can’t help myself. It’s a waste of her potential, and she’s got too much going for her to throw it away just to be here with me. I open my mouth to disagree, but before I get a proper chance, an insufferably nasally voice interrupts us.
“Oakley Montgomery!” Savannah crows, all fake sugar and disdain. “Didn’t expect to see you back here. What, New York not good enough for the perfect little princess?”
Oakley turns slowly, blinking in outraged surprise, but the frigid smile on her face doesn’t waver for a second. Her hand is squeezing mine so hard it hurts. I can see the tension in her shoulders. Her voice is bitter and caustic in a way I’ve never heard before.
“Savannah,” she says drily. “I came back for the holidays. People usually spend them with their families and people they love.”
She leans back against my chest pointedly with that statement, and I feel affection well in my heart. I wrap my good arm around her waist, glaring disgustedly at Savannah.
Savannah’s face flames with embarrassment, but it’s replaced by a nasty smile seconds later.
“You two are back together? That’s so cute,” she drawls sarcastically. “Jamie, you’ll call me when she dumps you after the holidays, right?”
Oakley and I stiffen with rage together, and her nails dig into my arm possessively.
“You wretched little bi ?—”
“Oakley, baby,” I cut her off, holding her tight against me as she struggles to go after Savannah. “She’s not worth it. Ignore her.”
“Get lost,” Oakley spits. “Looking at you is ruining my appetite.”
Savannah rolls her eyes and storms off, raising her middle finger at us as she retreats.
We both stand there, frustrated and raw at such a blatant reminder of the night we lost each other. I almost expect Oakley to ask me to take her back home, and I’m trying to think of ways to convince her that we can make things work. She just grabs my hand and steps toward the front door of the diner, glancing back with a relieved smile.
“C’mon, I worked up an appetite dealing with all this bullshit,” she says.
I laugh, following behind her obediently. She walks slowly, careful not to stress my injuries, and I’m filled with so much affection that I can’t help stopping her before we step inside. She looks back at me, but doesn’t have a chance to say anything before I wrap my hand around the back of her neck. I pull her forward and lean down to take her lips in a kiss.
She smells like my sheets and she’s so soft against me. I smile into the kiss, and she meets it with her own grin.
“You know,” I murmur against her lips, “it’s kind of a turn on to see you get all worked up like that over me.”
She snorts out a laugh, tapping her hand in a playfit hit against my uninjured shoulder.
“Shut up,” she says with a chuckle. “Stop getting in the way of me and my waffles.”
I grin, so in love with her that I can’t find the words to say it, and pull the door open for her.
“Yes, ma’am.”