Riding Jamie (Montgomery Dreams #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

OAKLEY

I leave my dad shell shocked and silent in the kitchen. Everything feels shaky and out of focus, my breathing shallow and fast. I make it out to the tree line at the edge of the property before breaking down entirely.

The snow is deep enough that it trips me up on every other step, but I pay it no attention, crumpling down onto an old stump in an attempt to calm myself down. I need to get my heart rate under control and calm my spinning thoughts. That seems like such an impossible task when everything I know just got thrown on its head.

I just found out that my dad has been fueling the dumbest fight I’ve ever heard of for years , my boyfriend maybe broke up with me, which was finally the push I needed to actually stand up to my dad about his attitude toward my relationship. And the cherry on top is that one of the only friends I made in New York has apparently just been using me.

I don’t even know what Shane’s goal is. Did he think that I’d never find out? Is his family lying to him about all this, or has he known all along? Would I ever be able to trust him after this, even if he’s just a pawn in someone else’s game?

Part of me wants to call him and demand answers, but I don’t think I’d believe anything he says right now. I just wanted a friend when I met him. How did it turn out like this?

I pull my phone from my pocket with trembling hands, seeing several texts and a few missed calls from Phoebe. I’ll have to text her soon, but for now I ignore the notifications and search Shane’s name. Nothing much comes up, a few different social media profiles—all private, and none of them have profile pictures that look like him. But when I search for Peter Wallace, a veritable flood of information crosses my screen.

Skyview Falls is a small town. We all know that Peter was suspected of embezzling money and got chased off, but it happened when I was a kid. My mouth drops open in shock as I scroll through the articles detailing the cases that were brought against him. I always thought he’d managed to walk away with a few grand in his pocket, but everything that I’m seeing is implicating that he funneled millions into offshore accounts, relying on his wife to get him off on technicalities.

Our ranch was one of the businesses he hit hardest, skimming almost ten million off our profits before he disappeared. He’s the sole reason that my parents had to work so hard when I was a kid, the sole reason they’re still working.

I feel sick.

I stumble across one of his social media profiles, scrolling through pictures and posts detailing his life.

My dad was right, all the way through.

Shane is his nephew. Shane’s dad died when he was a kid, and Peter Wallace apparently stepped into the role of a father for him. His mom lives in New York and frequents a bar hardly two blocks from Branson Logistics.

I want to fucking throw up. How could I have trusted Shane? How could I have questioned Jamie and my parents?

I shove up from the stump, not even bothering to wipe the snow from my jeans as I march through the woods toward Jamie’s house. I don’t usually bother taking the shortcut, since it doesn’t really shave off that much time, but I feel so exposed and bare right now. The cover of the trees feels like it’s all that’s keeping me from imploding.

My head spins as I make my way down the familiar path, trying to figure out what to say. There’s no easy way to explain this, to apologize, but I have to figure something out.

I’ve never been upset that the walk to Jamie’s house is so short, but I still feel so unprepared when I step out of the woods into his backyard.

I feel even less ready when I find him sitting on the back porch, his head in his hands. I freeze on the edge of the trees, suddenly scared that I’m going to make things even worse. That’s just a risk I’ll have to take.

Jamie looks up in surprise when he hears the crunch of my footsteps on the snow. His face goes through a million different emotions in the course of a second, but it settles on pure apathy.

The sight plunges a knife straight into my chest and twists it cruelly.

I pick up my pace until I’m damn near running to clear the distance between us. I’m breathless when I skid to a stop in front of him, tears already welling in my eyes.

“I was wrong,” I blurt out immediately. “I talked to my dad. The paperwork is bullshit. Shane’s a liar, or at least his family is using him. I was so, so wrong, Jamie.”

He just stares at me.

There’s a palpable weight of sadness resting on his shoulders, but it’s not the kind I’m used to. Jamie is fiery, explosive, passionate. He doesn’t shut down like this. He doesn’t…he doesn’t give up.

Please tell me he didn’t give up .

“Our dads made a stupid fucking bet about Chuckles, and my dad got mad he lost, and they got in a fight and never forgave each other,” I say, hoping he’ll react. If I just keep talking, there has to be something he’ll react to. “Shane’s aunt is married to my parent’s old financial advisor, the guy who got run out of town for embezzling money from a bunch of people when we were kids. Peter Wallace. He’s Savannah’s fucking uncle . I don’t know why, but they’ve been trying to fuck with us this whole time, and I kept jumping to conclusions and making it easy on them.”

He’s still silent. A sigh falls from his lips, but it just sounds tired. There’s no anger in his eyes, no frustration. It’s all just exhaustion. My desperation mounts, fear climbing up my throat along with it.

“Fucking say something!” I shout.

He finally meets my eyes, but there’s still no emotion on his face.

“What do you want me to say?”

I gape at him, so scared I can’t find words. I want to be angry, to yell at him, but all I can come up with is terror. Is this how it ends? Has the well of feeling in him just dried up completely?

“Did you hear what I just said?” My voice shakes with the trembling of my lip. “I was wrong . You were right, Jamie, about everything. I stood up to my dad and told him that I wouldn’t let him make me choose between the two of you. I—I’m sorry it took this long, Jamie, but I love you. We can fix this. Can’t we?”

We have to be able to. There has to be a way we can move past this. I can’t lose Jamie.

“Oakley…” He trails off, and my heart shatters at hearing him say my name so plainly. There’s no warmth, no love. It’s like he’s filled to the brim with pure emptiness. “I’m glad you figured this out, okay? I’m grateful. But that doesn’t mean that what I said earlier isn’t true. I’m still a good for nothing idiot with no idea what to do with my life. You’re still too good for me. That’s always going to be true.”

Freezing tears slip down my cheeks, and I shake my head furiously.

“I don’t care,” I say staunchly. “I don’t care if you never have any idea what you want to do with your life. I don’t care if you’re a billionaire or if you don’t have a penny to your name.”

“ I do !” he shouts, pushing up from the porch step. “I fucking care, Oakley. I don’t deserve you! I don’t have anything to bring to the table!”

A heartbroken laugh tears from my throat. I want to grab him and shake him, but my body refuses to move.

“I don’t care what you bring to the table, Jamie,” I say, my voice brittle and small. “I didn’t fall in love with you because you were a bull rider, or because you were going to take care of me. I fell in love with you because you’ve always seen me for the person I really am. You know me where it matters. I fell in love with you because you’re Jamie Walker, not for anything else.”

His face crumples into something so pained that I can’t even look, my heart aching in my chest as I watch him clench his fists at his side and shake his head.

“I love you, Oakley.” The words sound agonized, like he’s forcing every syllable out around barbed wire. I never thought hearing him say that would make me scared . “I love you more than I can ever say. But I can’t watch you waste your time on me when we both know you deserve better.”

“Fuck you!” I shout, my anger finally breaking free. “I know exactly what I fucking deserve, Jamie! I know what I want! You don’t get to make that decision for me any more than my dad does. I choose you, over and over, no matter what. I know I fucked up, okay? I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry , and I swear I’ll fix it. I can’t lose you, Jamie. I— please .”

A tear slips down his cheek, his nostrils flaring the way they always do when he’s trying not to break down. My chest feels like it’s about to cave in as he shakes his head.

“I just need to figure this out for myself, Oakley,” he whispers, almost as quiet as the snow that’s falling around us. “Just give me some time. Please.”

The words hit me like a physical blow, and I stagger a step back. The snow beneath my feet crunches, breaking the silence around us, and both of us flinch. The thought of the world continuing on around me without Jamie at my side is enough to make me sick on its own. Seeing the agony of that same thought on his face makes me want to pass out.

“Okay.” I don’t even know if I’m speaking loud enough for him to hear, but the agreement breaks my heart into pieces. “I’ll be here. I’ll always be here, okay? Figure it out and come back to me.”

That’s all I can ask for. If he comes back to me, I can always keep moving forward. If he comes back to me, I can make it through anything.

The first step I take away from him feels like I’m tearing myself in half. I ignore the tears that drench my cheeks and the way I’m shaking. All I can do now is turn and walk back to the woods, back to the safe shroud of trees where I can collapse away from prying eyes.

I hear Jamie’s breath come out on a bitten off sob as I walk away, and it stalls my own breath in my chest.

Please don’t let this be the last time I walk away from him .