Risky Replay (Country Stars Forever #1)

Chapter 16

Sixteen

DEREK

“This is dangerous,” Charlie says, pointing the highball filled with ice and a light pink liquid at Mark. The orchid and lime garnish add flair to the drink.

“I named this one Untamed Paloma,” Mark says from across the bar top.

Charlie laughs. “You know in some Latin American countries, paloma means?—”

“Cock?” Mark snickers.

Yup, Mark is already fitting in.

I invited Charlie and Tyler to the restaurant to taste Mark's proposed drink menu. Tyler is late.

Mark’s talented alright, and we’re sampling, not chugging, from his new creations. Nothing so far disappoints.

"Pairs well with any dish, especially ancho and kale salad—" Mark freezes, and I follow his gaze to the door where Tyler has walked in.

Tyler greets us, but his face pulls tight when he sees Mark.

“Have you two met?” I ask.

“No.” Tyler reaches his hand out to Mark. “Tyler, nice to meet you.”

Mark takes Tyler’s hand. They simultaneously pull back as if something shocked them. Is Tyler—no, he can’t be. I’ve seen Tyler interact with our fans, and he doesn’t care about appearances or sexuality. My mind imagines James as a teen and an adult. In a perfect world, I would never have to worry or wonder about anyone’s opinion about my son.

“What drink are we on?” Tyler asks as he settles into the empty stool between Charlie and me.

“Why don’t you offer him your Untamed Paloma?” Charlie asks Mark with a snicker.

I assume nothing embarrasses a guy as confident as Mark, but the red coming through on his cheeks proves me wrong. Then I remember Emily’s comment about Mark’s crush on Tyler.

I should act like an adult, even though being a father doesn't instantly make me mature.

“I don’t think Tyler’s ever had a paloma . He’s not a big drinker,” I say to Mark with way too much humor in my voice.

“Give him a bigger one,” Charlie adds, “with a straw so he can suck it down quick.”

Tyler glances from Charlie to me and rolls his eyes. He turns to Mark. “Give me your Paloma.”

Mark seems to stop breathing while Charlie and I cough out our laughter.

“Uh, sure.” Mark fumbles as he grabs a pint glass and the ingredients to make another drink.

I thump Tyler on the back. “I’m proud of you.”

His gaze lingers on Mark for a bit like he can’t place him. “What for?”

For being a good sport. “For coming here when you aren’t a drinker. And for diving into fatherhood.”

Tyler beams. “We’re not pregnant yet. And why wouldn’t I be here? This is your dream. You’re doing it.”

“Speaking of doing it,” Charlie interrupts, “have you had mommy and daddy time yet? ”

I open my mouth to tell them I woke up in Emily’s bed the other day, but I shut it.

“We’re keeping things platonic,” I say and glance over at Mark who I have to admit is doing a kick ass job of pretending he’s not listening.

That night, hearing her in the shower was torture. Imagining Emily naked, water sluicing over her golden skin, between her breasts down to where my body craves a connection. I sat in the living room, willing my cock to go down. I didn’t want to scare her by walking in with a massive hard on. After all, she erected a pillow wall. A weak one that didn’t keep her berry scent from floating my way all night.

“She’s coming to Nash with us. Have to get her grandparents to agree to watch the kids. More like have to get her to trust them to watch them.”

“I could check in.” Mark pours his Untamed Paloma into a pint glass stacked high with ice. “I’ve watched them plenty of times.”

The truth that everyone in Emily’s life has known my son longer than me shakes my core. I have to be the one she counts on, even if we’re not together. Because I’ll do everything for her and the kids. I have to tame my thoughts when it comes to Emily. I woke up curled toward her like my body knew hers, like it missed hers. Like we couldn’t escape the magnetic pull of each other. Like she imprinted when we were ten. I swear I felt it then, and I feel it now.

I’m fucked.

“Thinking real hard about it over there, boss. I’m offering. If you say no, I’ll respect it.” Mark works on a fresh drink.

I tilt the rest of the paloma into my mouth. “She trusts you, doesn’t she?”

Mark tilts his head to one side. “Not at first. I know how to get my way.” He eyes Tyler.

I nod. “It might make it easier for her to say yes. ”

“It’s on.” Charlie cheers.

Tyler presses his lips together.

“Nothing will happen.” I assure Tyler.

Mark laughs. “Nope, nothing at all.”

I don’t think Mark’s talking about Emily and me.

I excuse myself and head toward the office, leaving the door open when I dial Emily’s number. I cross my fingers Mark’s offer will ease Emily’s worries. They’re friends, and she’s left Mark to watch the kids before.

“Hi.” Hearing her voice is still surreal. She’s back. With my son .

I tell her about Mark’s offer. I expect an argument or indecision. What I get is silence. “Em?”

“My grandparents said they’d be here. No more impromptu cross-border trips. Having Mark as a backup will help.”

“I want to make you as comfortable as possible with your decision.”

“I am.” She exhales. “There’s something you should know.”

I can’t seem to breathe. She’s going to tell me she’s leaving sooner than planned.

“James has been asking about you.”

My cheeks split with a proud smile. Why doesn’t she sound as excited as I feel?

“He thinks we’re dating.”

I clear my throat. “We’ve been spending enough time together. Isn’t that what kids assume?”

“He’s,” Emily lowers her voice, “he’s more moody than usual. I don’t know how to say this.”

“What?”

She’s quiet for a while. “I don’t think he likes you.”

My stomach drops.

“I’m sorry. It started with the tummy ache excuse, and then he’s been fine, but when you’re here, he’s withdrawn.”

It’s been two days since that morning, and I’ve been over in the afternoon when he’s back from camp. He’s said he was tired and played with his sister while I helped Emily put away toys or helped make dinner.

“I think we may need to slow this down,” Emily says with finality, like she’s already decided without my input.

“Slow what down? I’m his father. I’m on limited time. No way. I’ll be there as often as he needs to become familiar with me.”

Emily sighs into the phone. “Can’t push your way into his life. Or claim the title.”

I inhale a calming breath. “I don’t need to claim a title. It’s mine. He’s mine.” At any sign of danger, Emily runs.

In Nashville, I don’t plan on letting her out of my sight. Even if I have to get a hotel room next to hers while my condo sits empty a few blocks away.

“I don’t want them thinking there’s more to us. It’s confusing.”

“We are more. We’re his parents.”

“I shouldn’t have,” she says like she’s talking to herself. “We need boundaries. We can talk about it on our trip.”

“There’s still another week. We can talk about it right now. I have the time.” It grates that she’s decided when and how we talk about this. Boundaries sounds like she’ll push me away little by little. “What do you have in mind?”

“A schedule. One we stick to. I’ve been too lenient.”

It starts.

Tyler appears in the hallway. He nods back to the bar. I gesture that I’ll be right there.

My stomach churns. “You’ve already decided on one.” I’m not asking.

She sighs. “An hour every other day.”

I spend at least three hours when I’m with them. With her. It might be a lot, but like I told Emily, I’m on a schedule and trying to make up for time she took from me.

“And if I don’t agree? I want more. Not less.” I ask. At some point, she’ll have to let go of control and let me be James’ father.

“I don’t think you have a choice,” she says without threat, but hell if it doesn’t make my hackles rise. “You don’t want to overdo it with him. You’ll push him farther away. I want this to work out as much as you, but it’s on his timeline. He won’t forget about you if you’re here every other day. It will be okay.”

After we hang up, I can’t shake the feeling like I’m being released from my rightful place in their lives.

When I return to the bar, the guys eye me as I slump onto the stool as if I’m about to tell them someone died. I share every detail of my conversation with Emily.

Tyler cups my shoulder. “You thought about a visitation agreement?”

“You know what it will do.” The last thing I want is Emily’s retreat. It’s her way, or she’s done. It’s like we’re approaching a fork in the road, and like in the past, she’ll go her own way. And I’m left sitting in an idling car wondering if she’ll come back. “I’m tired of waiting for her to let me in.”

A spark flashes in my head, and I pull out my phone, taking notes of a diverted road, a convertible with a fool in a cowboy hat resting his ass on the hood watching as the love of his life, a brown-haired beauty, disappears down one path. And he takes the other.

“I need more time with her. With James. With Victoria.” I look up from the phone to find all three staring at me with sympathetic smiles. “Ya, I know I’m fucked.”

Mark clears his throat. “Don’t think that’s it.”

“I saw the video. She’s still dreaming about what we have. Show her she could with you,” Charlie says like it’s not some monumental risk, speculating one weekend in my world will win her over. What if I show her all of me and she doesn’t want it?

“Make sure you have a safety net,” Tyler says. and when I don’t answer, he adds, “I’m married to a criminal prosecutor. I hear the stories.”

“She’s not a criminal.”

“Criminal of the heart,” Charlie sings .

It’s so dumb, it’s funny. The joke doesn’t lift all my worries, but the tightness in my shoulders eases. “All that’s left is making this the best weekend of her life.”

Mark gives us each a fresh cocktail. I raise mine in the air.

“To the best fourth of July in Music City.”