Risky Replay (Country Stars Forever #1)

Chapter 26

Twenty-Six

DEREK

“Mom!” James hollers as he barrels into the house. His mouth hangs open as he turns in a circle, assessing his new surroundings. “Is this a castle?”

“Yes, and I am King Charlie. You may call me Your Highness.”

James’ incredulous smile is worth a million bucks. “Nahh, your name is Uncle Charlie.”

My feet halt as I grip a sleeping Victoria tighter in my arms. Charlie glances at me as if processing the same thing I am. Uncle Charlie? I must have a dopey smile on my face because Charlie rolls his eyes at me. “That’s right, I’m your uncle. And what does that make Derek?”

Where the hell is Emily? Charlie is poking at things I may not have answers to.

James narrows his eyes at Charlie.

“Well?” Charlie prods. Then turns to me and says, low enough for me only, “I recognize the frown.”

It’s the same look I’m sure I give my father.

Convincing James to let me take him and his sister from their mother’s house and fly them across the country was an argument I didn’t expect to have with a six-year-old. The only reason he made it on the plane was Emily’s video call explaining why and providing proof she couldn’t get out there to pick them up. And I promised as soon as the plane landed, we’d drive nonstop to see his mother. During the flight, he refused to make eye contact with me. He sat in the window seat, wore headphones, kept his eyes on the tablet, and never once glanced my way. When I asked him if he wanted anything to drink, he answered the airline attendant. The freeze out from a six-year-old is real. And yet he calls Charlie, uncle?

James moves toward the sliding glass door, looking out into the backyard.

“Where’s Emily?” I ask Charlie, and Victoria moves in my arms. Her fingers wrap into the back of my shirt.

“I tired her out. She’s asleep.”

“One day, I’m going to get sick of that game and punch you.”

“I’ll stop in a month when you’re married.”

Him and his fucking marriage jokes.

Charlie laughs. “The kids’ rooms are ready.” He nods at Victoria’s droopy head on my shoulder.

“Keep an eye on James so he doesn’t go out alone.”

As soon as I’ve tucked Victoria in, I find Emily laying on the bed in the primary bedroom.

“You’re here,” she says in her sleepy voice.

“How you feeling?”

She smiles with her eyes closed. “High. These painkillers are fantastical.” Her face softens, and her breathing evens out. I close the door and find Charlie in the living room, showing James a model wooden tractor.

Charlie reports Emily had a good day yesterday, but today she’s complained about the pain in her leg and arm. He offers to stay for the day and watch the kids, which I accept. He entertains James and Victoria while I check on Emily.

“Don’t know how she does it,” Charlie says when he’s saying goodbye. “Superwoman.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

“Good luck tomorrow.” Charlie salutes me and leaves. I don’t admit I’m exhausted from the flight, and yes, it was a handful to manage both James and Victoria, but in the end, they are in Tennesee with us.

That evening, as I slip into bed next to Emily, my mind wonders what tomorrow will be like, the four of us in our own house. I drape an arm around her and breathe in her sweet scent.

Sleep doesn’t come, and I recall Charlie’s joke. A month? He’s delusional. We’d have to tell James first. He’s fighting me like he needs to assert his place in the family. Like he’s the man of the house and I’m a damn threat. He’s never said those words, but he’s in growly, mommy protector mode. He’s too little and too young to take on such a grown-up role. His mind should be on playing with his sister, dreaming up dance routines, and all things kid-related. If Emily insists on keeping distance between us, he’ll lose out on his childhood. I’m doubling down on persuading her to fall in love with this city.

And me.

I squeeze her warm soft body into my side. She hums her approval.

This is exactly where I want to be.

“I’ve got it.” Emily stretches her arm reaching for a serving bowl on the top shelf. A bowl I could easily hand her, if she’d ask for help.

It’s been three days of her brows pushing into each other so often they may have fused together. And her answers are no longer than three words. Mostly, they consist of an, ‘I’m fine’ or how she’s ‘got it.’ And I’m shut out of other things like her disciplining the kids, helping them pick up toys, or helping her put on her shoes. When she’s not trying to take over as General Mom, most things run as well as can be. James is more self-sufficient than I’d expect from a kid his age, and I’m sure it’s a trait he learned from his mother. Victoria didn’t fall far from the Armada tree either. She insists on dressing herself, is decisive about what she wants to eat and play, and if James isn’t on board with the games, she still plays. When Charlie visits, he plays whatever game she asks.

The caretaker for the animals comes out every morning, and the kids love spending time with him, which gives me time to help Emily. Emily is the one I worry about most. Especially because today, the dent in her forehead is deeper than a canyon. With one hand, she mixes a salad from a bag for lunch while I man the grilled cheese and the kids feed Molly, the pig.

“I was thinking we could go to the zoo today,” I hedge.

“They’ve been to the world’s greatest zoo already. Besides we’re living in one.”

And that’s another thing. I’ve been hoping to get them out and about, exploring this magnificent city, but she has an excuse ready each time.

“Are you being a zoo snob?” I tease.

“World’s greatest sums it up.”

If I convince James and Victoria Nashville is the most amazing place to live in, they’ll help me convince Emily. It won’t happen unless I can show them everything there is to offer. “There’s an underwater themed restaurant.”

“They’ve been there, too.”

“Where?”

“They have those in Maryland.”

“I can ask for extra tickets to the Wildcats game.” I’m singing the national anthem at the baseball game for the home team in a week, and having Emily, James and Victoria in the audience would be everything. “Fox and Webb are playing San Antonio, Webb’s old team. It’ll be a great game. I could ask if James could meet them.”

Jonathan Foxworth and Greyson Webber are boyfriends. If Emily is right about James, our son meeting two out players in the MLB would build up his confidence .

Her eyes flick over at me with a playful glint in them. “They’re hot.”

“They’re also in a committed relationship. And you’re deflecting.” I run my palm over her upper back.

“You going to have the kids on the mound when you sing? I won’t be able to chase after them.”

“I can invite Charlie. He’d take care of them, and you. You keep making excuses, and I’ll find a way around them. You have something against Nashville?”

Leaving the readied salad on the counter, she wheels herself to the sofa and makes herself comfortable. “I don’t.”

I remove the sandwiches from the hot pan and turn off the stove to follow her. “What is it?”

“I feel idle. I want to help here, but I can’t.” She slumps further into the couch. “I can’t make a salad. I can’t help the kids. I can’t even shower without help. No matter where we are. I can’t do anything.”

I don’t point out she made the salad without help. I crook my fingers under her chin, forcing her to look at me. “You’re not expected to be Superwoman right now. The world won’t collapse if you take a moment to take care of yourself.”

Emily shifts, her eyes never truly meeting mine.

“I was thinking…” She pulls at a tassel on a couch pillow.

“Please tell me, whatever you want.” I’ll do anything to put a smile on her face.

I sit facing her on the coffee table, and she tells me about a fundraiser Mark is involved with.

“There’s a whole month left before August.” I help her stretch her ankle next to me and prop it on a pillow.

Before she can tell me more, the screen door slides open, and James’ voice precedes his entrance. “Mom, Mom, there’s a giant frog in Molly’s pen.” His footsteps pound toward us with Victoria closing in fast. I stand to catch them before they lunge themselves at Emily .

“Whoa, careful.” I catch James by a shoulder, and Victoria slides past me, jumping onto the couch next to her mother.

James brushes himself loose and closes in around Emily.

“Come see,” Victoria says, taking Emily’s good hand and pulls like she could lift her mother off the couch.

James looks up at me. “Do you want to see it?”

It’s the first time in these past few days he’s asked me something. A smile splits my face so wide my cheeks hurt. “I thought you didn’t like bugs or any earthly creatures.”

James grins. “I didn’t touch it.”

“Let’s see it.” I turn to Emily. “Want some help?”

She nods. I help her steady her weight on her good foot with a hand on her hip and the other in mine. I walk backwards and give her space to maneuver onto the scooter. When Emily is steady, James grabs my fingers and pulls me to the backyard.

“Maybe you’re ready to catch fireflies tonight?” I offer.

His little body shivers and his free arms wiggles. “You can catch them. I’ll watch.”

I sense a twinge in my chest at the thought of being outside with my son chasing fireflies. “Deal.”

Later that night, after we caught fireflies in two jars and set them free, I make sure Emily is comfortable before I slip into bed and turn off the lights.

Earlier, I asked Mark for more information on the fundraiser and auction. I asked my accountant to send out a check for a generous amount. Doesn’t feel like enough.

“I’ve never done one of those bachelor auctions,” I say, unsure of how to bring up the topic. Plus, Mark threw it out as an idea. The guys could do something fun like auction themselves off for a platonic date. Or maybe he was hoping Tyler would be willing.

Emily shifts on the bed, and as my eyes adjust to the dark, I see her facing me. “I wouldn’t have paid more than five dollars.” There’s humor in her voice. I reach over and gently pinch her side. “Hey!”

Careful to keep her arm from getting caught, I scoop her to my side. “What if I could do something like that for the event? Or auction off VIP passes to a show.”

“As long as you know I’m not asking.”

“There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Or depending on someone else.” Emily's small body stills next to me. “I want to help. I can help.”

“Will you go to the event with me?”

I already asked Aiden to keep everything clear the day of the event. “I can.”

Her good hand curls into mine. “You’ll go?”

“I’ll be there,” I say, kissing the top of her head.

We lie in silence, holding each other until she clears her throat. “It was supposed to be a six-month tour.”

I tuck her close, and I focus on her words.

“Then it became eight, then another month. Ryan was two weeks shy of coming home.” I let my fingers trace a line up and down her shoulder. “We were struggling before he left. We argued about James. He said I should try again with you. He kept asking me if I was happy. I was. I really was. I was too scared to ask him the same question, and he never offered an answer.” Her voice cracks.

There’s pressure in my chest at the reminder of what she’s endured. There’s also pride filling it because she’s tougher than I could ever be.

“It was as if he were pushing me away. And I couldn’t reach him. He volunteered for the extension. He never made it back to us. Why?”

Her voice cracks with sorrow at the end before she buries her face in my chest. I wrap both arms around her, admiring the amazing job she’s done at keeping two kids happy while still dealing with the pain of loss.

She clears her throat. “If we’re doing this, I need to know you’re with us. Even if you’re off playing Madison Square or Wembley. Your heart is here. You’re in this.”

I shift and bring her face closer to mine. With my kiss, I try to tell her that I am. That it’s too late. That my heart is already with them. That I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do when she returns to Maryland. Or that I’m clawing at every wild idea to convince her to stay here.

“I’m in this,” I say after letting our kiss last until we both need a break. “I know you can handle everything, it’s what I love about you. But, you don’t have to anymore. Even if I’m across the country or the Atlantic, I’m in it. We’re a team.”

She nestles her head against me, and I sense her smile against my chest.

“A team.” She sighs. “Good night.”

I stroke her hair as her body relaxes under me.

My mind does its own thing, picturing us on the road, or in a house like this, full of our family, their kids, whoever finally settles Charlie down, Tyler and Amy’s kids, grandparents, the crew and their kids, maybe Aiden will meet someone, and our house would be the hub. Everyone nearby and they would never move away.

As my eyes grow heavy with sleep, I kiss Emily’s cheek. Unbid, the truest words come out. “I love you.”

She’s asleep, she doesn’t make a sound or move, and I should say them when she can remember them. Nothing, nothing, could take this moment away from me.