Risky Replay (Country Stars Forever #1)

Chapter 32

Thirty-Two

DEREK

“Think we can make room for Derek in our lives?” Emily asks James while he hugs her. The way James loves his mother is a testament to how well she’s raised him and how much she’s loved him.

Would there be room in his and her heart? Would James’ answer allow Emily to let me into her heart and life without worrying about my failures?

James turns with a bright smile for me. “I think so.” Then he lunges towards me and wraps me in a hug like he did Emily.

I squeeze him to me, and kiss the side of his head. “I love you, James.” My voice breaks, and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I hold him as long as he lets me. “I heard there’s a pirate ship we could visit.”

Emily and I ask James if he’d like for me to pick him up from school tomorrow and instead of coming home, if he’d like to spend the day and night with me at the hotel. It’s not the ideal place to have our first sleep over, but it’ll have to make do. James agrees to stay with me in the hotel. I bribed him with a room service pancake breakfast, the pool, and a movie with popcorn in bed .

Friday, before James is mine for the next twenty-four hours, I meet Emily in front of the school office.

“Ready?” she asks, and I nod, pulling the door open. Emily walks ahead down a short hall revealing a reception area. I hang back, allowing Emily to handle the conversation like we agreed upon.

“Ms. Armada,” the woman at the front desk greets her. Her eyes drift to me, lurking at the door. “Oh my, oh, the rumors are true.” She clasps her hand in front of her mouth. Then seems to realize Emily is there, too. “How can I help you?”

Emily’s eyes narrow, and she gives me a subtle shake of her head. “This is James’ father, and I’d like to add him to the pickup list.”

The woman gives us a very business-like smile and prints out forms.

“She was ready to offer you her kidney,” Emily says as we stand outside surrounded by other parents waiting for their children after we’ve signed the proper forms.

A bell rings. Teachers, followed by rows of students, emerge from the buildings. Some kids jump with excitement when they see their parents, others are too engrossed in conversations with their friends to notice anyone else, and others hang on to the straps of their backpacks, looking like they’re in dire need of a nap. The normalcy of the moment makes my chest swell. Will this become a part of my life? Will Emily allow me to pick up Victoria? She’s not mine, and I wouldn’t be able to sign papers for her, but somehow, an urgency grips me to be a part of this.

“Derek,” James’ voice cuts through, and I spot him breaking away from a teacher. I squat down to meet him with a hug.

“Hi, I’m Dalia’s mother.” There’s someone talking to us. I hear Emily’s laugh. Then another voice introducing themselves as someone’s parents. I hold James’ hand and stand, shaking every offered hand and greet them, too.

“Alright, everyone, I’m sure Mr. James has other things to do on a Friday than be gawked at,” the receptionist from the office says as she breaks through the huddle of parents.

Emily snickers by my side. “Yes, they do. You two have fun, and anything, please, anything, call me. I can be there in less than ten minutes.”

“Don’t worry.” I give her my best smile. “We’ll have fun.”

“Ya, Mom. He took care of us this summer. I think he can handle me,” James says. Is he poking fun at her?

She takes one last look at James, and I wonder if she’s taking a mental picture to give the police later if I don’t answer her messages within a few seconds.

Friday night, we eat chicken sandwiches from a drive-through, sing in the car, watch Minion movies, and speak in Minion gibberish until bedtime. Once he’s asleep, I lift him enough to get the covers over him and swipe away the popcorn he dropped on the bed.

As I hover between sleep and consciousness, I’m sucked into an alternate life. The one where I drop off and pick up James from school, help him with homework, and curl up for family movie nights, like the life I had a glimpse of in Tennessee.

I could sell the restaurant after a few years. I could take the money to the bank, invest it, and I’d have enough for us to live a modest life without having to work. Emily will want to work, of course. I could teach kids to play guitar after school, open up my own little space. For extra cash, I could find a bar where I could play on weekends to keep my voice and ears tuned.

Saturday morning, James is up early, and eager for our visit to the museum that’s a pirate ship on the bay.

By the early afternoon, the grin on my face might be permanent. Under an oversized black felt pirate hat, James licks a soft serve cone wearing a matching expression to mine. We spent the morning busting out of pirate jail, fake sword fighting over gold, and swabbing the deck. My phone holds the best treasure of all—a bunch of photos of James at the navigation wheel, pretending to walk the plank and wearing pirate’s booty—cheap plastic jewelry—and the rest of the day’s pirate shenanigans. Every picture captures his radiant smile.

“James.”

He takes a giant bite of the soft serve which gets on his lips and chin and then looks up. He laughs as I wipe a napkin over his mouth.

“James, I’m really sorry.” I start folding the napkin needing something to do. “I’m sorry I missed the fundraiser and we didn’t perform our dance. My brother was missing. I’d do anything for those I love including you, your sister, and your mom. I had to make a decision, and it wasn’t easy. I hope you can forgive me.”

James pauses and looks at me as if his next words were of high importance. “You love my mom?”

My breath catches. “I do. I have. For a long time.”

James grins. “Are you going to marry my mom?”

I’d like to, son, I really would.

“I have a lot to make up for with you and her, and I will do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness – and hers. I’d like to start by us performing our routine for your mom and Victoria.”

James wiggles in his seat. “I want to wear my dress.”

“Anything you want.”

The smile he gives me makes my whittled-down heart balloon with love for him. “I’m not mad anymore.”

We wash up in the restroom and drive back. On the ride, we rehearse his moves as best he can while strapped into the seat. Excitement builds in my bones at sharing with Emily what we did today. I’m also going to gloat about how right it felt being thought of as James’ father when other parents on the ship asked how old he was or referred to him as my mini me. James was too enthralled in the pirate world to mind the adults. My doubts about being a father are gone. This is where I belong.

When Emily opens the door to her townhouse, James rushes in while I stand there, suddenly thirsty, and my bones threaten to crumple. She’s wearing her hair in a high ponytail, no makeup, and her tan shoulders are exposed under one of those outfits women wear that are one giant piece, a tank top and shorts. All I see is skin. Kissable, warm, glowing skin. There’s a faint scent of spices escaping through the door.

“Hey,” she says with a big bright smile. She leans her cheek on the edge of the door. “Want to, uh, hang out for a bit?” She looks behind her. “My, uh, my friend Holly really wants to meet you. We thought we’d have a cook out.”

“Crofton sure is friendly.” I force a smile, unsure of where Emily and I truly stand. “I’d love to meet your friend.”

In the kitchen, Emily waves a hand over a dozen foil covered bowls. “We usually barbecue Saturday afternoons. You’re in for a treat. I made salsa, rice, beans, and churros. Let’s get these downstairs. The backyard is through the basement.”

“I won’t even ask what happened to regular dogs and burgers.” I grew up with Emily’s family’s version of a barbecue. They call it an asada . The menu includes marinated chicken and skirt steak and grilled vegetables accompanied by the ever-present tortillas, salsa, guacamole, rice, and beans. The dessert is the one variable. Churros. My favorite. My stomach growls as I grab a few covered dishes.

While we walk down the stairs to the lower level with me in front, a deep masculine rumble accompanies the kids’ laughter. What the hell? I only expected her friend. But then again, there’s enough food for twenty people upstairs. I rush down the stairs, almost dropping the bowls in my hand. There’s a bedroom, a door leading to a bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen with French doors leading to a small yard. My back stiffens. Standing in the middle of James and Victoria is some John Cena-looking dude. I can guess exactly who he is.

Emily walks past, dropping her plate into Mike’s hands. “Derek, this is Mike Robbins. Mike, this is Derek.” Since his hands are full, he sends me an upward nod.

“Nice to meet you,” I say.

“Heard lots about you,” he answers .

Emily removes the plates from my grasp and sets them somewhere behind me. “Derek and I will grab the rest.”

Mike holds a casual expression in my direction, but I catch his glance at Emily’s retreating body. I don’t fucking like it. She grabs my hand and pulls me upstairs. When we reach the kitchen, she opens the fridge as I grip the edge of the peninsula until my knuckles hurt. From the fridge, she extends a cold bottle of water. “I’m sorry I didn’t offer you anything to drink earlier.”

“I’ll need something stronger if he’s joining us.”

“He always joins us.” She waves a hand in the air between us like it’s nothing.

My jaw ticks, and I clench my teeth. “I really need you to elaborate right now, angel.”

She busies herself with stirring things in bowls. “When Ryan and I bought the house, there was a rental downstairs. We were going to convert the space to a family area with a little kitchenette and a guest bedroom. We opened up the stairs, and that’s as far as we got when Ryan volunteered.” She clanks the spoon down and faces me. “I didn’t know if I could afford the mortgage on my own. Mike’s lease was up, and the timing was perfect. He’s been great. I didn’t have to worry about the house while we were away. And the kids love having him here. To them, he’s family. The closest thing they have to Ryan.” She points at the basement steps. “He’s right there if they need him.”

She keeps stirring things that don’t need to be stirred. Her eyes are focused on the movement of her hands. If they need him. But it’s her that needs people. He took care of her house for her. But she’s scared of needing anyone. I blame her father for making her think people aren’t reliable.

“If they need him? What about you? Do you need him?”

Her face pales.

She walks toward me with her shoulders back, exuding her pride. “Need? I need no one.” As high as she holds her chin, I detect a quiver .

Emily’s phone beeps from the counter. She rushes over to it. “Holly is here.”

The basement living room is empty, and voices carry in from outside. Mike stands by the grill with two men and a dark-haired woman. There’s a boy about James’ size and another bigger kid. The three seem to play some sort of board game on a picnic table.

The woman spots me first. Her eyes widen with interest as if in a split second she’s assessed and approved of my presence.

“You must be Derek,” she says taking the tray from my hands. “I’m Holly Abrahamson. That’s my husband Tony, and his friend Garrett. Those two are our boys, Thomas and Tanner.”

They must like names with T’s.

Introductions to her family follow along with questions about my night and day with James.

Since Holly’s trying for small talk, I ask, “How long have you known Emily?”

“Since she moved next door to me with a cute blond one-year-old.” Holly grins as she gives me a once over. “Why she didn’t go find you and lock you down, I’ll never understand.”

I can admit the ego stroke makes me like her. “You knew her husband?” I’m not hoping for some stupid contest about who’s a better man, but I’m curious about what kind of person he was from someone besides Emily.

“Everything she’s said about him is true. They don’t make them like Ryan anymore.” She studies me, and I hope she doesn’t catch my ramrod straight back. “Ryan didn’t like you.”

“He never met me.”

“He thought you ran out on your family.”

“That’s judgmental.”

“He would agree. See, he wondered how anyone would walk away from Emily and such a precious little boy. Especially when Emily was struggling.”

“I didn’t,” I clear my throat because if I knew, I would have asked Emily to marry me. And if her stubborn side refused, I would have moved in next door myself .

Holly slaps my shoulder as if she were teasing. “I know. We know the story.”

I’m about to ask her more when Emily joins us. “Hey Holly, Tony’s looking for you.”

Holly grins as if she’s in on a secret. “He’s not. Don’t worry, you can have this tall drink of water for yourself.”

I can’t stop the chuckle that comes out.

Holly waves her fingers and tells me she’ll keep our conversation private as she walks to her husband.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you. I’d like it if you two became friends.” Emily glances to where Mike stands at the grill.

“Ya, doesn’t seem possible.”

“I told you nothing will ever happen between us.”

It’s ridiculous. Because jealousy rises at the thought of her admitting she needed Mike, but not that she needs me. I come up with an idea to poke the mama bear. “Then ask him to move out. I’ll help you with his portion. I’ll give you more than what’s expected for support.”

She steps back as if I slapped her. “You’re offering me money?”

“Emily,” I keep my voice as low as possible. “Raising a child is expensive, and you said you couldn’t afford the mortgage.”

“I said I thought I couldn’t. Everything is settled now. I don’t need your money.”

Christ, I stirred an anthill and hit her pride hard.

“Fuck, you don’t need anyone. Nothing. Not even money?” Her chin juts out higher, and I don’t stop. “I’ll tell you what I need. I don’t care what you think you can or can’t afford. Here are my conditions. Mike moves out.”

“Hey, you two,” Holly places a hand on Emily’s shoulder creating space between us. I hadn’t realized we were toe to toe. She thrusts a plate with potato salad into my hands. “It’s my mama’s recipe, and everyone east of the river raves about it. You will, too.” She turns to Emily. “And you, you need to go upstairs and get the frijoles . I’ll help. ”

When they move past me, I look up, and James is watching me with a curious look. Fuck. I start toward him to explain, when Mike appears in my path.

“Never, ever, tell Emily what to do with her life.” Then walks back to the grill.

Mother trucker.