RIVAL: An Enemies to Lovers Why Choose Country Romance

Chapter 34

I’m shocked when I read the longest text I think I’ve ever received from Mason.

Wanted to send you a quick message. I have to head out of town for a couple of weeks to help my aunt. My uncle passed away last month (it was expected) but she needs help moving into a new apartment. It’s last minute, or I’d have given you a heads up. The barn will stay unlocked with your devil kittens so you can get to them, but I don’t have much for you to do while I’m gone. My dad has someone coming in to help him cover everything until I get back.

Biting my lip, my fingers hover over the keyboard, unsure how to respond. Obviously, it’s fine that he needs to go help his family out. But I had hoped to talk to him this morning about other things. After Jaxon and I were together, it only feels right to end things with Mason. Right?

The idea doesn’t sit right, though. My head is telling me it’s the right thing to do, the mature and adult thing to do. Mason only wants sex, even if it was beginning to feel more intimate. But Jaxon? He seems to want the sex with the relationship and it’s what I want too. I need to know someone cares for me outside of just sleeping together.

Griffin’s face flickers through my head and the way he gazed at me moments after he pushed inside for the first time.

There was something there, I know there was. But he said no… That we shouldn’t have done it.

Stiffening my shoulders, I push thoughts of him away. I can’t make him love me, or at least feel more than he does. Before I can respond to Mason, another text pops up from him, and I quickly respond.

You okay with this, girl? I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to.

I understand. I hope your aunt is alright and everything goes smoothly. When you get home, can we talk about something?

Sure. Everything good?

I think so. I just need to talk about something, but it can wait. Please have a safe trip and let me know if your dad needs my help while you’re gone. I’ll be available.

You can come over now if you need to talk. I’ve got a few minutes.

No, it can wait. Promise.

Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone, girl. Otherwise I’ll have to take you over my knee.

“What’s got you smilin’ like that?”

Spinning, I come face to face with Griffin. My mouth falls open, tongue tied, and unsure of what to say. I was literally just remembering our night together and my face explodes with embarrassment.

“Okay, so now I gotta know what’s got you blushin’ like a tomato in the sun.” His teasing tone relaxes me, and I find that I’ve really missed him. The easy banter we had before that night was amazing and I hate that he’s stayed away.

“What, umm, what are you doing here?”

With a sigh, his smile turns slightly apologetic. “Guess I’m not gonna get an answer, then. I came to pick up some scrap for your dad he needs junked. Couldn’t fit it into his van and Corbin’s truck is still down for the count. He around?”

Fisting my phone tightly, I bounce my hands against my thighs nervously. “I think he’s inside. Might be in his chair.” Lifting my chin, I wait for him to leave, but he doesn’t.

Stepping closer, his gentle smile falls away. I flinch slightly when he reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, but he only pauses a briefly before finishing his task. With a sigh, his hands fall away, and he shoves them in his pocket.

“I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

I stare at him and hate the way my throat tightens with emotion. Blinking quickly, I force myself not to cry, shocked I was fine a moment ago and now this wave of longing has nearly brought me to tears.

“N-No,” I croak out. “It’s like you said, right? We just gotta pretend like it never happened, and no one will be the wiser. No regrets.”

He freezes and narrows his eyes. “Yes.” Dragging the word out, he cocks his head to study me. “Because that’s what you wanted.”

Jerking my head back, I’m floored. “I didn’t say that.”

“You basically did. You were shoving me away from you. Couldn’t get away fast enough.”

Uneasiness fills me, and I take a step back at his tone. Hesitantly, I say, “Because my father was about to walk into the house.”

“Because you didn’t want him to know what we’d done.” It almost seems as if he’s asking me a question, but he says it like it’s fact. It’s true, I didn’t want my father to know what we’ve done, but something is telling me he thinks it’s for a different reason.

“Griffin. My father…” I trail off and glance toward the house. “It wouldn’t have been good if he’d caught us. He’d have been furious with not just me, but you as well.”

His voice is a bit more aggressive when he says, “Which is why you didn’t want it to happen again!”

“I didn’t say that,” I snap back. “You did. Then you left.” Instantly regretting my tone, I let my head fall. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

“Darlin’,” he calls to me, but I shake my head, not wanting to see the censure in his eyes. “Edith, would you look at me?”

“I need to get to my chores before my father—”

“Why you so worried about your dad thinks? You’re a fuckin’ adult. Who cares what he has to say?”

This time, I do meet his eyes, anger flaming within their depths. Pressing my lips together, I stay silent, which only serves to further his frustration.

“You’re a grown ass woman. You’re allowed to see and fuck and hang out with whoever the hell you want. You know this, right? What’s he gonna do? Ground you?”

Griffin is staring me down with hands planted on his hips and I can feel my own irritation growing. More tears threaten to fall, and I want to laugh and scream all at once. What the hell is wrong with my head right now?

“It’s not like that. But this is his home and while I’m living here, it’s my job to be respectful of his space. It’s not—”

“What’s goin’ on out here?”

My father’s voice slices through me like a whip, and dread pools in my stomach. How much did he hear?

“Just askin’ Edith where the shit is that I’m haulin’ for you,” Griffin answers without taking his eyes off me and I close mine against his perusal, mentally begging him to stop before my father starts to believe something’s between us.

Grunting, I open them in time to see my father jab a fat finger toward the other side of the horse barn. “Shit’s over there. I’ll show ya.”

His heavy feet land on the rickety steps until he’s stumbling toward the barn. He must have been drinking while I was outside because he’s swaying slightly as he makes his way through the cluttered yard.

“I’m gonna want to talk more about this. I thought you didn’t want me. That’s why I said what I said. But if you do…” He lets the rest of his meaning float between us, his eyes studying my face closely.

Swallowing down my nerves, I open my mouth to tell him I think I’ve started seeing someone, but my father’s shout ends our conversation.

“Over here, Fin!”

Sighing, Griffin takes his hat off to shove a hand through his hair, then slams it on hard. With one last look, he points a finger at me. “Not done talkin’.”

Yes. Yes, we are. Like a terrified rabbit, the moment he turns, I scurry away and run into the house to hide away in my room. I don’t move until I eventually hear his truck start up and drive away, then let out a long, slow breath.

My phone buzzes under my hand and I open it, thinking it’s another text from Mason. A clash of disappointment it’s not and excitement that it’s actually Jaxon, wars within me.

I need to talk to Jaxon, too.

What are the rules here? Am I loyal to the last person I was intimate with? Do I owe Griffin a conversation, a chance to see if maybe I was right and there was more between us? What about Mason? Is it fair of me to just stop what we’ve been doing when there’s no warning beforehand? I don’t know what the normal rules are in these types of situations.

I do know I want more of Jaxon. But I also worry I’ll find myself regretful if I don’t have some sort of closure with the other two.

My father’s words calling me a whore rattle through my head and eat away at my conscience.

I’ve had sex with three different men in the span of like, ten days… Oh God. Am I a whore?

Another buzz forces me to read my messages, the newest from Jaxon. I’ve never had this much communication with the outside world and it’s jarring to have people wanting to actually talk to me.

So, I was thinking… Maybe we could cut out a little early tomorrow and get another riding lesson in? If I’m not mistaken, Noir’s been in a bit of a mood ever since he saw you last.

Unless you think you need another day or so to… Well, to be blunt, recover. I just want to spend some time with you without little ol’ Ruth staring us down, thinking she knows secrets. lol

Before answering him, I read the unread message from Mason.

Maybe I should put you over my knee for not answering, but I’ll let it go this time. Let me know if you need anything while I’m gone.

Answering both of them, I sigh and turn my screen off, then lay back on my bed. My eyes fall to my side table where The Count of Monte Cristo rests, unread since the last night Griffin was here.

Reaching for it, I open to the page we left off and read a few paragraphs, but I can’t bring myself to turn to the next. It doesn’t feel right to continue without him.

Another wave of guilt hits me when I open my phone and send a text to Griffin.

Three men in one day. I am a whore, aren’t I?

If anything, I want to finish our story.

I’d like to finish our story as well, and I’m not just talking about our book.

I find myself rubbing at my chest once more, my heart feeling like it’s going to stop mid beat. Running my free hand over the open page of our book, I wonder what Jaxon or Mason would think about Griffin and I curling up in my bed while I read to him. Would they like that too?

Snorting a laugh, I shake my head at myself. Mason probably wouldn’t. He’d curl his lip and ask, “The fuck is this shit?” but Jaxon I could see stretching along my other side and murmuring, “Next chapter, sweetheart.”

I freeze, a new vision of myself lying between Griffin and Jaxon as I read, Mason sitting at the end of the bed grumbling, but listening anyway. Maybe with little Bonnie purring and stretched out in his arms.

A fresh wave of tears makes their appearance, and this time I let them fall.

There’s no way they’d ever be okay with it… and my father would never allow it.