Chapter 36
After knocking, I glance over my shoulder toward Jennice who gives me a happy smile with a little wave. I wish I could return it, but I’m so incredibly nervous that I can only stare longingly at the office door, wishing for an escape.
“Come in!”
My eyes dart around and I swallow against my dry throat before pushing my way in. Jaxon is sitting behind his desk and when he glances up, his face erupts into a huge smile before standing and coming toward me.
“What the hell, sweetheart? I didn’t know you were coming by. You should have texted. I could have picked you up.” Leaning down, he presses a hard kiss to my lips, then cups my cheek to study me. The smile he had before falls away. “What’s wrong, baby? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Can I talk to you?” My voice is so soft that his look of concern only grows, and he nods sharply. Locking the door behind me, he tugs me forward and sets me on his desk. Standing between my legs, he rests his hands by my sides and kisses my forehead.
“Tell me what’s going on?”
My whole body feels like I’m going to shake right out of my skin, but this is Jaxon. I feel my eyes already watering as I peer up at him, pleading silently for understanding. “I have to tell you something and I’m really scared to, but you’ve always been open to hearing me and I’m hoping you’ll be okay with this.”
“Jesus, sweetheart. You look as if you’re about to pass out. Whatever’s going on, we’ll work it out. Is it your situation? Did something happen?”
His worry only makes me feel awful, but this is so hard to get it out. Sucking in a deep breath, I fortify myself. “I’m pregnant. I just found out yesterday and my mind is kind of going crazy. I only had the one appointment, but I’m supposed to go again next week, so I don’t know anything yet, just that it’s happening. But, umm, yeah. I’m pregnant.”
The longer I talk, the wider his eyes get, but he never pulls away. I want to throw myself against him, so holding myself back is taking everything I’ve got. I just need him to tell me it’ll be okay.
Clearing his throat, he collects himself and smiles, albeit a little forced. I don’t know what that means, so I hold my breath until he starts talking.
“Okay, wow… Pregnant. Damn, Edith, you really caught me off guard here, so forgive me while I wrap my head around all of this.” Wiping his hand over his face, he studies me for a moment. “This is going to sound so tactless, so I’m really sorry, but I want to get this all out. I’m assuming we don’t know if I’m the father, correct? I know you’ve been with the other guys recently. We used a condom, but we did have that mishap at the end. Were you unprotected with them?”
I hang my head, fighting off the mortification that he went straight to the main issue, but this is what being an adult is all about, right? With a trembling lip, I frown at him. “I don’t know w-who. I was s-so stupid.” My last word breaks, and with a sigh, he wraps his arms around me and tugs me against him.
With his chin resting on my head, he murmurs, “It’ll be alright. They need to be told as well. Have you told either of them yet?”
Shaking my head against his chest, my “No,” is muffled, and I fight him when he gently pushes my shoulders back to look at me.
With a furrowed brow, he presses his lips together in concern. “Is there something else? Are you afraid to tell them? I can come with you, if you’d like. We can’t get all the answers now, not until you have your appointment.”
“My father’s going to kill me.” I hear the fear in my voice, but I don’t hold back. I should have told him about the situation with my dad before. This whole thing would have been easier to explain, but I can try now. Gripping his shirt, I tug on it to get him to understand how serious I am. “Jaxon, he’s going to absolutely lose it on me. This is literally the worst thing I can lay at his feet.”
Attempting to placate me, his smile is indulgent. “Sweetheart, it’ll be okay. You’re a grown woman. Sure, he might be disappointed, considering the circumstances, but once you get it all out, I’m sure you’ll see that it wasn’t so bad.”
My head is already furiously shaking in denial before he finishes. “No, you don’t understand. That situation I’ve been trying to get out of? It’s him. My father. He—”
Interrupting me before I can tell him what’s been going on inside the Hughes home, his smile falls away and a look of anger replaces it. “Who the fuck is your dad? Edith, why didn’t you tell me? We could have gotten you out of there if you’re not safe.”
“Clayborn Hughes, and I couldn’t just leave. I literally have nothing. He hasn’t allowed me to work. I had to sneak out to do it and it’s only been recently, I…”
I trail off when Jaxon’s entire face closes down and, without ceremony, he plucks my hand away from his shirt only to let it fall to my lap. My eyes dart all over his face, but he’s looking through me, as if I don’t even exist to him.
“Jaxon?” I push out through my tight lips, worried over his reaction and unsure why he’s shut down on me. Calling his name was apparently the wrong thing to do because when he focuses, there’s nothing but fury and hatred burning within him.
Gulping audibly, I straighten my spine and am harshly struck with shock when his lip curls into a sneer. “Pretty fucked up to make a joke like that, don’t you think, Edith Hughes?”
“I—I… I don’t know what you think I’m j-joking about.”
His laugh is caustic as he steps further away, crossing his arms and barring himself from me. Jaxon like this is one hundred percent unapproachable and I don’t have a clue what I’ve said aside from my father’s name.
My father.
“Do you know him?”
“YOU KNOW I KNOW YOUR FATHER!” His shout is so loud I swear the picture frames on his desk shake from the force.
This right here is something I’ve been trained for. In the face of an enraged male, I know it’s time for me to freeze, lower my eyes, and be prepared for the swing.
Fear is a fickle, crippling thing, but honestly, I’m numb to it. Numb from his reaction, numb from his raised voice, and when he strikes, I’ll flee and tend my wounds alone.
Tearing at his hair, I watch as he bellows to the ceiling in a pained roar from beneath my lids. Carefully, I slip from his desk and ease myself toward the door.
“What was all this? A fucking game to you people? Are you even really pregnant?” He’s shouting and moving between me and the door, blocking my escape, so I stand rigid in front of him.
With a low, calm voice when faced with a predator, I say, “I would never play games with you, Jaxon. I’m not even sure why you’re so furious right now, aside from obviously disliking my father. Which, I assure you, I’m in the same boat.”
Barking out a laugh, he whips his arms out to the side, my flinch going unnoticed by him as he yells again. “You’re fucking father is the one who killed my sister! Remember? I very specifically remember telling you!”
“You didn’t tell me his name.” It’s barely a whisper, but he hears me, nonetheless.
“Bullshit!” he spits out. Then, jabbing a finger toward my stomach, he seethes, “I don’t want any fucking part of that kid, especially if it’s got Hughes’ blood in its veins. When you manage to push it out, I’ll submit to a test and if it turns out to be mine, all you’ll get is money. Nothing more.”
Every word is a crushing blow, more painful than a fist or kick, but I stay controlled. My eyes fly to the door when I hear a soft knock, then Jennice’s voice ring out. “Jaxon? Everythin’ okay in there?”
“NOTHING IS FUCKING OKAY!” he shouts, jerking the door open, revealing a wide-eyed and fearful sixteen-year-old. Without looking at me as if he can’t bear the idea of it, he hisses his order I know not to disregard. “Get the fuck out.”
Without waiting, I sprint for the door and only glance back when I hear the destruction of items being shattered against walls and Jennice staring after me with her mouth hanging open.
I push my way outside in a flurry of limbs and run as if my life depends on it. I let the tears fall faster and faster the further I get from the man I thought I was going to be with. The man I trusted to always be there, and me for him.
My father is the one responsible for his sister’s death?
I don’t want to believe it, but I find myself unsurprised. How did this even happen?
Confusion is warring within me. Memories spent with Jaxon flicker through as I sprint, chest heaving from the exertion, but nothing comes to mind where I mentioned who I was. Was this all my fault?
By the time I make it down the drive of the home I grew up in, sweat is pouring from my face and my clothing is saturated. Eyeing the house, then the rusted-out van parked near the door, I find myself unable to take another step toward it.
I can’t go in there like this. He’ll know…
My eyes fly to the tree line, and without another thought, I take off toward the barn where my babies are waiting. Mason isn’t due back until tomorrow, so I can hide away in there without anyone knowing.
Thankfully, there’s no one outside as soon as I break through as I stumble into their yard. The moment I’m shut inside the barn, I fall to my knees and let the adrenaline and fear overtake me.
Three tiny bodies climb over my numb but shaking limbs, their purrs loud, but not loud enough to drown out my sobs.