Chapter 49
Idon’t rush outside, but I don’t dawdle either. It’s obvious Edith needs a few minutes to herself, and I want to give them to her.
With my hands in my pocket, I pick my way to the back part of the yard where both Jaxon and Mason are sitting in chairs, staring at the fire on opposite sides, staring silently at the flames as I approach.
They turn their heads simultaneously as I approach, Mason the first one to question me. “Is she coming?”
“Yeah, she’s coming out. Needed a few minutes,” I tell him, going to the other side of the fire and settling into the chair.
Mason hands me a beer as Jaxon asks, “What’d she think of the house?”
Smiling to myself, I crack the bottle open and take a sip. “She’s overwhelmed, but stunned by all we managed to do.”
“Was she bothered by—”
Interrupting Mason, I shake my head quickly. “The paint smell didn’t bother her. Couldn’t smell the smoke either. Rest assured boys, she didn’t puke. I could tell she was surprised by how clean it was. I’m not even sure she noticed the new furniture in the living room, to be honest. All she could look at were the walls. Seemed damn near close to tears.”
Jaxon hangs his head, and Mason presses his lips together. I know exactly how they feel. Walls shouldn’t be the thing to move her to tears, but here we are. Her father let her down so significantly that the sight of freshly painted walls is enough to take her over the edge.
We all sit in silence, sipping slowly at our beers. The three of us decided we won’t ever get to the point of being drunk in front of her. Not just because she can’t drink due to the pregnancy, but she’s had enough of that in her life.
Finally, the faint sound of a twig snap lifts our heads toward the house and we see her silhouette moving through the yard until the fire illuminates her face.
She pauses as she notices our drinks, then asks, “Should I go back and grab—”
“God no, Edith. Please, sit down. We’re perfectly fine with what we’ve got,” Jaxon rasps out, moving out of his chair to help her sit. She eyes the beer warily, but sits nonetheless.
I catch Mason’s eye and we both silently agree to set our bottles on the ground, out of sight. Jaxon sees what we’ve done and tosses his into the flames.
Pausing next to her, he leans down and I just make out his murmured question. “You doing okay, sweetheart? Sorry about the beer. None of us are intoxicated, we were just sharing one, but we won’t do it again if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“You all can do what you want. I’m not and won’t be your keeper.”
“You can be my keeper, darlin’. Every fuckin’ day for the rest of my life if you want,” I tell her, then glare at the guys when they try to shush me as if I’m being ridiculous.
Fuck them both because I get a smile from my girl. It’s brief, but I fucking saw it. Lowering her eyes to the fire, she rubs her hands over her legs, getting ready to face all of us. I sympathize with her. There are three of us, all who are hoping we’re the father of her baby and all ready to step up even if we aren’t. That’s got to be a lot for one person. I don’t think she understands we’re all in it for the long haul, not yet at least. But that’s why this talk is so important. Edith Hughes is about to get her world turned upside down by three men who all fucked up and want to worship at her feet.
As soon as Jaxon sits, I start in immediately.
“I know you wanted to talk to us darlin’, but would you be okay with us sayin’ a few things first?”
My hope that she’ll be receptive is shot down almost immediately. Shaking her head, she stares at the fire, not meeting any of our eyes.
“I’d really like to say what I need to, then go to bed. You guys are more than welcome to stay out here for as long as you’d like. I don’t care. I never thought of this place as mine. I am tired, though.”
Mason clears his throat. “Say whatever you need to. We’ll listen.” I raise my brow at how placating his words are, but his scowl shuts me up.
Thankfully, Edith misses our little silent conversation, pushing forward to get out everything she needs.
“I know I messed up, not being smart with protected sex.” We all begin to argue, but a quick flick of her eyes silences us like the whipped men we are. “But what’s done is done and one of you is the father of my little girl. I’m not feeling good about how any of our last interactions went when I told you I was pregnant. But I’m sure you all aren’t feeling great either. None of us expected this. It’s almost ridiculous that it happened, but here we are.”
She chuckles, but there’s no humor behind it. It’s simply sad.
“I want you all to know that she and I are healthy. If you want to accompany me to any of my appointments, you’re welcome to. Once she’s born and we know paternity, I’m sure two of you will disappear, which is understandable. Whomever is her father, I just want you to know that I won’t keep her from you. I only hope you’ll understand that at the beginning, I’ll want to keep her with me while I’m feeding her. If you need to come to me to see her, you’re more than welcome. Whatever you want to do is fine.”
She thinks we’re all ready to write off her and the baby and I fucking hate that. Her twisted way of thinking keeps pouring out and I’m only getting more and more upset as we let her continue.
“I know no one wanted this. I won’t force any of you to be a father. I’ll love her enough myself, but I won’t have any of you coming around sporadically, then disappearing for weeks or months at a time, confusing her.”
We’re stunned. I know we all fucked up, but to hear she’s not expecting any of us to step up, and actually asking us to not be failures as fathers hurts like a bitch.
“I’m gonna stop you right there, girl,” Mason hisses. “I don’t give a shit if that girl is mine or not. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
His statement is abrupt and pulls her up short.
Both Jaxon and I are quickly nodding. “Agreed,” I say. Jaxon following with, “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Edit lifts her head slowly, looking all of us over. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
I stare hard and wait until she meets my eyes so she knows how fucking serious I am. As soon as we connect, I nod once. “I mean every damn fuckin’ word of it. I hope to God that’s my baby, but if she’s not, it won’t change the fact I’m gonna chase you until you say you’ll have me.”
Her eyes widen slightly before she shifts to peer at Mason, then Jaxon. I don’t need to see them to know they feel the same. We haven’t had the conversation yet, but I know neither of them are planning on backing down, even if the baby isn’t theirs. This is going to turn into a situation where she has to decide what she wants. One of us, or all of us.
“You can have me, girl,” Mason says softly. “With or without them, you can have me.”
“Same here,” Jaxon adds.
I’ve already told her where I stand, and a bit of me feels bad putting her on the spot, but the bigger part wants her to know she’s got all of us behind her.
Edith sucks in a broken breath, and does it again, then once more.
Softly, her question comes out as a plea. “Why are you playing with me? None of you… none of you were on board before I left.” Meeting my eyes, she drills into my soul with her next words. “Griffin, you called this baby a stupid mistake.” Twisting toward Mason, she says, “You didn’t say a word when I told you, not even when my father lit me up for being a-a whore.” Then to Jaxon. “And you. You told me you wanted nothing to do with this baby, and if you were her father, the most I could count on was some money. Which I don’t want, by the way.”
Jaxon is falling toward her immediately, dropping to his knees at her feet. “Edith, please listen to me when I tell you I didn’t mean a fucking word when I said that. I was angry about who your father was. It caught me off guard and I was reeling after learning Clayborn was in any way related to you. I was so messed up with that in my head when I lashed out at you, and I hate I ever uttered a single word of the shit I spewed. I’m so unbelievably sorry for what I said.”
“That baby is not a stupid mistake,” I bite out. Jaxon is cupping her face, but I can’t bite my tongue any longer. “I said what I said to deescalate the situation when he was goin’ after you. But she’s not a mistake, goddamnit. She’s perfect. You’re perfect. I got shit to apologize for, but that’s not one of them.” I’m so frustrated she’s thought I felt that way this entire time. I want to tell her I shouldn’t have left the morning after we were together, but knowing this is what has been eating at her guts me.
“It’s gonna take you a bit to believe any of us, but you need to know I wasn’t upset when you told me about the baby. I was shocked. I wasn’t expectin’ the news. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that my head blanked out like that. If I had known…” Mason trails off, sounding defeated that he was there when Clayborn dragged her away. “I’d have killed him on the spot, and I won’t apologize for that. I was shocked…”
Pressing a kiss to her forehead, then lips, Jaxon rests his head against hers for a moment before letting go. “I’m so sorry, Edith.” Then he lowers his hand to her stomach and my hand clenches, wanting to touch her as well. “I didn’t mean a word of it,” he whispers before getting up and finding his seat again.
Edith is staring at her hands, wringing them together after listening to what we’ve had to say. Then, slowly, she starts to speak.
“I don’t know if Mrs. Danielson told you, but I’ve been working with a therapist ever since I left. She’s, uhhh… she’s helped me to work through a lot of my feelings about what happened with my father, and with all of you.”
Mason leans forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs as he gives her his full attention, and I know she’s got Jaxon just as invested. I’m here too, still wishing like hell she didn’t go five months thinking I considered the baby a mistake.
“She said in every situation I’ve had to deal with, like my father for example, there’s a villain, a hero, and a victim. My father was the villain, obviously. At least in my story.” Glancing over to Jaxon, she adds, “In yours, as well. I know that.” She tilts her head to me. “At times, all of you were my hero. Griffin, you saved my life that day. I’ll never discredit or minimize what you did that day. I’m so thankful you were there to stop him. And Mason,” she says, turning to him. “Even though I was just a pawn in your game to mess with him, you gave me purpose and my animals a place of refuge.”
We’re all silent, not knowing where she’s going with this and honestly, I’m worried it’s not going to end well.
“Jaxon, you were my hero in so many ways. You gave me the freedom to share my passions and secrets. You were my friend.”
“Were?” he croaks out, his voice laced with pain.
She nods solemnly. “Were. And I trusted you. All of you, in a sense. But what am I supposed to do now? I have a baby who has no father and I don’t know how I’m—”
“That little girl has three fathers. That ain’t gonna to change,” Mason bites out, cutting her off.
Surprised by his statement, she whispers, “I don’t know if that’s really true, Mason. I’m not trying to hurt any of you, but you have to know that in my story, you’ve all been my hero and my villain.”
I don’t even know what to say, but I want to deny it with everything inside of me.
Standing, she looks us over. “I won’t prevent you from being a part of this, if you want. I’ll let you know when my appointments are. But I have to think of me and my baby. She’s going to love me like I love her already. I love her more than anything in this world,” she hiccups. “I hope you can love her, too.”
I’ve never felt lower than this moment, learning I’ve been a villain in her story.
Edith runs a hand over her stomach, watching as she does it with a sad smile. “I’m going to head back to the house. Thank you so, so much for all the work you’ve done. I’m so thankful for it. I have an appointment on Friday. If any of you’d like to go, you’re welcome. Thank you for understanding where I’m coming from.”
With that, she turns and leaves us to ruminate. All of us stare as she walks away, feeling awful and defeated.
It’s not until Mason whispers, “We’re gonna prove to her she’s wrong. I’m not her fuckin’ villain, and none of you either.”
Neither Jaxon nor I agree, but we both nod that we heard him. Apparently, our new mission is to be her heroes once again.