Chapter 30
E ven with the doors and windows closed, Arthur heard her gasping sobs, though she held her hands over her mouth to stifle them, and whatever aloofness and confusion he felt standing there disappeared at the sight of that indomitable lady crumbling. Arthur knocked on the door, and Miss Templeton jerked and drew in a sharp breath.
Wiping her apron across her face, she erased all evidence of that weak moment and straightened, her spine stiffening as though nothing untoward had happened. And when she opened the door, Arthur would never have known that anything was amiss, as the darkness muted even the redness in her eyes.
“Dr. Vaughn?” The mild curiosity fell from her expression, her brows rising as she gripped the side of the door. “What are you doing here at this hour?”
But before he could think how to answer that, Miss Templeton’s surprise vanished and her eyes widened as she hurried to say, “You have no reason to believe me, sir, but I promise I did nothing to adulterate your medicines. I know you said you did not require them any longer, but after everything that has happened…I thought…and I needed to return your bag as well… And… ”
The lady stumbled over her words, her brows twisting together once more as her gaze pleaded with him to believe her.
“I promise, Dr. Vaughn—”
Arthur held up a staying hand, and her mouth snapped shut as she drew in a sharp breath, watching him as though awaiting a verdict.
“Had you wished to cause me such troubles, you wouldn’t have warned me about your brother’s mischief. As much as it pained me to break our business agreement, I cannot use your services because I cannot trust that he hasn’t meddled with them—”
“I give you my word—assuming you can believe it—that he was never in the same room with the medicines I delivered today. I guarded them zealously,” she said with a hint of desperation in her tone.
“I believe you.” And for all that it might sound like placation, Arthur realized it was true. Though Miss Templeton had employed some underhanded tactics, he couldn’t help but trust her in everything but her affection. “I was passing by and saw you working. It is late, and I thought you might require some assistance.”
Miss Templeton drew in a sharp breath, her muscles tightening as she stared at him, and Arthur wasn’t certain, but it looked as though her chin trembled once more.
“Of course you did,” she whispered in a quivering tone.
“What are you doing?”
“I am experimenting with palatable medicines for children. I’ve tried so many different ways, and nothing has worked,” she said with a shaky sigh. “I thought that perhaps I might be able to turn pills into comfits. They cannot hold as much medicine as powders, but if they were sugar-coated candies—”
“Then you could get children to swallow as many as necessary,” concluded Arthur with a nod. “That is an intriguing idea.”
Miss Templeton’s lips began to quiver as well whilst her posture stiffened. “I knew it would be difficult, as making comfits takes days and requires working with melted sugar—which is contrarian at the best of times—but the Campbells are the only genteel family that still use our services, and if I cannot come up with a way to help Toliver take his medicines, I know we will lose them as well. But it isn’t working, no matter what I do. I finally had a batch that survived the first two days of sugar coating, only to have it burn tonight because I had to do the wretched things over the fire here rather than the kitchen so I wouldn’t disturb Peggy as she has enough to do without me keeping her up all night long. And I have ruined so many batches already. The cost of the staghorn alone is exorbitant, but I do not know what else to do…”
Words flooded forth, tripping over themselves as the torrent spilled out in a manner that reminded Arthur very much of her overwrought confession the other day. Everything Miss Templeton had buried came to life, pulling with it the tears she fought so hard to keep under control. Soon, her lungs were shuddering as she fought her own gasping breaths, the tears pouring down her cheeks as she wiped at them with frustrated swipes.
What could he say to such a swell of emotion? Having had a hand in some of those troubles, what could he do for her? Arthur’s chest ached as Miss Templeton fought so hard to gain control, and all the while it slipped further and further from her grasp. But then, he suspected that she needed the release as much as she’d needed to tell him all her wrongdoings during her confession.
This lady held so much in her heart, and Arthur couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else bothered to help bear the burden. He didn’t need to ask after her brother or the apprentice—one of whom ought to be at her side—for he knew they would be useless.
The Vaughns may prize worldly success and believe his retiring to the country a waste, but regardless, if Arthur were to reach out to them for assistance, his family would arrive on his doorstep in a trice, willing to aid and assist in any way necessary. Having family meant one needn’t face the troubles of the world alone, yet who propped up Miss Templeton in her hour of need?
Stepping through the door, Arthur led her to the chair tucked behind the desk and sat her down as she struggled to get her breathing under control. Though he doubted anyone else was around to witness the scene, he moved to the shutters she’d overlooked and closed them. Grabbing the stool from beside the fire, he dragged it to her side, and his knees bumped hers as he sat, though Miss Templeton seemed not to notice as she fought to fill her lungs.
“Breathe, Miss Templeton.”
Arthur leaned forward, taking her hands in his. Holding her gaze, he drew a lungful in through his nose and let it out in one fluid movement. He murmured other calming words, his thumbs rubbing against her skin, and she tried to follow his prompts, though the lady struggled against each hitch in her lungs. As Miss Templeton’s ragged breaths slowed, her muscles slackened and her gaze fell to the ground, her brows knitting together.
The tremble in her chin hadn’t left her, but she managed to ask, “Why are you so kind to me? After everything I’ve done, I do not deserve it.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, Arthur tried to explain the feelings he didn’t understand himself. “I will admit I am angry and very hurt, and I will not excuse what you did, but I understand your reasoning. You’ve worked hard to make up for your brother’s deficiencies, oversee the health of your village, and provide for your family. Whether or not your brother is undeserving of your efforts, three ladies in this household will be made to suffer if his income dwindles. Your future has been in jeopardy from the moment I stepped foot in Oakham—”
“No,” she said, shaking her head as her gaze snapped to him, her eyes pleading as that panicked emotion settled into her voice again. “I didn’t do this for myself. Please do not think that. For years, I’ve known I would need to make my way in the world one day. I even began searching for a position as a governess before Papa passed away, and then I knew I couldn’t leave because they needed me. If Isaac loses all, I will simply move ahead with that plan. But Mama and Lilibet are not so fortunate, and my salary wouldn’t provide for them.”
Arthur’s ribs tightened, squeezing his heart at the dismissive manner in which Miss Templeton discussed the prospect. Life was not easy for a governess. With a good family, she would be treated fairly enough, but never well, and far too many were trapped in situations where they had no protection or security. It was a precarious position, and the thought of Miss Templeton blithely stepping into it did unpleasant things to his equilibrium.
Clarity surged forward, striking Arthur as he considered all that he knew of the lady, and he found it more and more difficult to hold onto his resentment.
“So, am I to despise you forever because you wished to protect your mother and sister-in-law?” he asked.
“I hate myself,” she murmured as the bleakness returned to her gaze.
“And that makes it even more difficult for me to do the same,” he murmured. “For all that you behaved poorly, you are an honest person. To a fault, one might argue.”
Miss Templeton straightened, though she didn’t pull her hands from his. Her brows arched up, asking far better than words for him to explain.
“Your warning me about the medicines could be dismissed as simple human decency. You know full well that he might’ve caused great harm, and you are not selfish or stupid enough to attempt it—”
“I considered it,” Miss Templeton whispered, as though the admission might very well destroy the last of his goodwill, but Arthur couldn’t help but smile at yet another example of her honesty.
“Many people consider terrible ideas when afraid and desperate, but there is a vast difference between considering a thing and acting upon it. And I would hazard to say that you dismissed the idea almost as soon as you thought it.”
The lady didn’t respond, but her hands tightened around his, and Arthur’s heart warmed at the confirmation.
“But you will not convince me that your soul is black, Miss Templeton, for you didn’t need to confess to more than your brother’s misdeeds,” he said with a slight smile. “Had you remained silent, I likely would never have discovered your part in my predicament, even when I was drawn and quartered by the ladies of Oakham.”
Miss Templeton’s gaze lifted from her lap, her eyes pleading anew as though hardly daring to believe his words whilst also begging for them to be true.
“And when I consider it, Miss Templeton,” he said with a considering frown, “I cannot say that you did any great harm. Most of your efforts to undermine me were halfhearted at best. I can think of several physicians in London who did far worse to steal patients from me, and had you even an ounce of their ambition, you could’ve easily eviscerated my reputation.”
“You made it impossible to demonize you,” she murmured with the barest hint of humor. “It was hard to do anything without feeling wretched. You are such a good man and didn’t deserve to be tormented.”
Arthur drew in a deep breath as he considered her tone. It held a depth of emotion, but it sounded eerily similar to when Miss Templeton had called him her “friend.” And it hurt just as deeply.
“In truth, Miss Templeton, what pained me the most was the pretense. That you claimed my friendship and still set about to ruin my reputation.”
The calm she’d gathered fled at that, and Miss Templeton’s eyes grew misty once more. “I do not know what I might say or do to right that wrong, Dr. Vaughn. I do not think I have the right to ask your forgiveness, nor do I expect even your good heart to extend that far, but I am sorry. I… ”
Miss Templeton shook her head, lowering her gaze once more as the strength seeped from her. Their hands remained clasped, and she clung to them as though afraid to let go.
“You may not ask for it, but I do forgive you,” he whispered, and her eyes darted to his as they widened, the disbelief stamped on every inch of her expression and bated breath.
“You do?”
The question was so soft that Arthur wasn’t certain she’d spoken, but she stared at him with such anticipation that he couldn’t help but nod his head. Miss Templeton let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a cough, and her chin trembled anew. With a heaving breath, she threw her arms around him as she spouted more incoherent words that rang with gratitude (though Arthur couldn’t say for certain what they were).
Granted, Arthur couldn’t focus on much more than the feel of Miss Templeton in his arms. The sentiments he’d buried beneath layers of betrayal and frustration surged to life with renewed vigor, testifying with absolute certainty that his heart was not done with the lady. Not yet.
“I have missed you,” she whispered, and Arthur couldn’t reply; his throat was conspicuously tight as her scent filled his nose and his hands rubbed along her back of their own volition. He was well and truly caught in her spell.
*
Curse her wretched hide! Violet’s cheeks heated as more tears spilled out, pulling free of her control with unrelenting force. Her heart was too full to be subdued by her fatigued mind. Especially when wrapped in such a tender embrace.
The world defined strength and peace as polar opposites, yet in Dr. Vaughn, Violet found equal measures of both working in perfect harmony. The gentleman was no warrior of old with fists ready to prove his power through physical might; his strength was not woven in his limbs and muscles but in his heart. Those arms now wrapped around her were mighty enough to hold her together, and the world slid from Violet’s thoughts, allowing her to revel in the serenity enveloping Dr. Vaughn like the cinnamon in his cologne.
She wasn’t alone. For now. And held so tightly, Violet could almost believe that everything would turn out well in the end.
Leaning back, she wiped her cheeks again with a shake of her head at herself. Plenty of situations did not end with happy endings all wrapped up neatly in a bow, and it did little good to sit about believing this one would.
Reaching into his pocket, Dr. Vaughn retrieved a handkerchief and handed it to her.
“I could spend the rest of my life expounding on my gratitude, and I fear I would never be able to fully compensate you for your kindnesses,” she said with a weak smile as she wiped at her cheeks. With a sigh, Violet shook her head. “I—”
“None of that, Miss Templeton,” he replied whilst taking her free hand once more. She sighed at the touch, for it was nearly as good as nestling into his arms. “I think it would be best if we move beyond stumbling apologies and exuberant declarations of gratitude. Perhaps we could simply rebuild our…friendship.”
Dropping her hand with the handkerchief from her face, Violet straightened.
“Do you still wish to be friends? After everything…” But her voice drifted off as Dr. Vaughn gave her a warning look.
He drew in a deep breath, a faint smile played at the corner of his lips. “Believe it or not, Miss Templeton, but I missed your company as well.”
Violet cursed her wretched face, for at that very moment, it threatened to turn into a watering pot once more as the telltale quiver began taking hold of her chin and lips, but Dr. Vaughn’s eyes narrowed, and he squeezed her hand.
“None of that now, Miss Templeton. There is work to be done. What do you need me to do? ”
A smile graced her lips, and the exhaustion weighing down her limbs eased, allowing her to straighten. Violet felt like embracing the gentleman once more, but the hours were slipping away, and there was no time for dallying. With a few instructions, the pair set themselves to the task at hand.