Rivals and Roses (The Vaughns #1)

Chapter 33

B efore Arthur could think what to say (not that his mind or tongue supplied anything useful), Mr. Gadd laughed, jostling Miss Templeton with an expression that begged her to join in the fun. The lady obliged, which made Mr. Gadd’s grin broaden, but Arthur’s brow furrowed at the clear sign of her discomfort. Miss Templeton held herself stiffly, though she made a valiant effort to seem unaffected.

“How odd would that be? Like courting my sister.” Another boisterous laugh before Mr. Gadd took a drink from his cider, though he struggled not to choke on it. And Arthur rather hoped he would.

“You are a fantastic lady and all, but I could never imagine courting a lady taller than myself,” said Mr. Gadd, glancing up to the top of her head before nudging her with his shoulder. “And if I am not mistaken, you are older as well.”

“By only a few months,” she murmured with a smile as brittle as glass.

“Still,” said Mr. Gadd with a mock shudder. “Neither of us would ever dream of such a horrid pairing. Could you imagine yourself with a gentleman shorter than yourself? What lady would fancy such a thing? Ridiculous. What a laugh! ”

The gentleman’s words were wretched on their own, but the more he spoke, the more his tone held a note of disgust, as though no one with an ounce of sense or decency would disagree with him and any who dared ought to be bound for prison or an asylum.

Heat flickered in Arthur’s chest, but before he opened his mouth, Miss Templeton spoke first.

“Yes, Mr. Gadd, I can imagine myself marrying a man shorter than myself,” she said, raising her chin in a slight challenge. “I cannot fathom—nor do I wish to—why anyone would judge another person’s suitability on an arbitrary standard of beauty. What does it matter in the slightest? A good heart is worth far more than aesthetics.”

Arthur’s breath caught. Though it had been clear to him from the beginning that Miss Templeton put little stock in outward appearances and did not judge him for his deficiencies, hearing her vehemently cast aside such a commonplace belief set his heart burning even more. But for more pleasant reasons.

Mr. Gadd frowned, his brows pulling low. “Come, now. Surely, you wish to be attracted to your spouse. Or would you prefer a loveless marriage?”

Miss Templeton’s brow arched, her gaze narrowing on the fellow. “Firstly, attraction is not love nor is love attraction. Though most people do not seem to see the difference, I have seen enough supposed ‘love matches’ fail to know that you can feel desire without any genuine affection—”

“One cannot love without attraction,” said Mr. Gadd.

“Are you attracted to your sister?” she retorted. The gentleman’s expression of horror gave his answer readily enough, and Arthur almost felt like laughing at it.

But with a shake of his head, he scoffed. “That is not the same, and you know it.”

“What I know is that people use the word ‘love’ without understanding it. They attribute it to the foolish ideals set about in plays, novels, and poetry, as though love is something one stumbles in and out of without warning, but that is nothing more than superficial desire. Love—real love—is based on more than appearances. It involves friendship and respect, choice and sacrifice. Even a mother’s love can grow cold if neglected.”

Miss Templeton spoke with a tone that brooked no refusal, her expression daring him to argue with her, and fool that he was, Mr. Gadd seemed not to realize it wasn’t a battle he would win. Arthur silently cheered her on as she eviscerated her foe.

“You are saying you would happily marry a man you only consider a chum?” he asked with a tone of utter disbelief.

“I am saying that desire is the ficklest part of a romantic relationship. It comes and goes on a whim, and I’ve rarely seen ‘love at first sight’ last after the marriage vows are spoken. The happiest and most loving marriages I’ve witnessed are ones where attraction came because of the affection they developed for one another, rather than existing on its own.”

Mr. Gadd moved as though to argue, but Miss Templeton held up a warning finger and continued.

“Do you think only the empirically beautiful have loving marriages filled with that passion you prize so highly? Or that every homely husband or wife is bound to a partner who feels no stirrings for them? Or that every love is bound to grow cold and die when age robs their bodies of their allure and vitality?” she asked.

Not waiting for his response, she continued, “I will not ever believe such a wretched thing. I have seen it with my own eyes. Most couples do not feel that spark of awareness the moment they meet; they come to know and respect one another, and from that grows affection. If nurtured, it can blossom into a love far stronger and longer-lasting than anything ‘love at first sight’ can produce.”

Drawing in a sharp breath, Miss Templeton straightened. “So, no. I do not care in the slightest what my beau looks like because I know that what is attractive to my eyes may not be what others deem lovely. And what I once considered unappealing can become something achingly beautiful if I do not cling to the arbitrary and ever-changing standards the world sets. ”

If Arthur had been uncertain in his feelings for the lady, there were no such doubts now. Miss Templeton spoke with such passion, not holding back her feelings in the slightest as she defended her idea of love without flinching. She believed every word of it, and Arthur couldn’t help but wonder if she might come to think his unremarkable features and bald head were not merely deficiencies to overlook but breathtaking.

Was it too much to hope?

Mr. Gadd shook his head with a sigh and a slight smile, his gaze turning to the crowds around them. “You are an odd one, Vi.”

Miss Templeton stood there for a long moment, watching him with steely eyes before casting off his arm. Shoving her mug at him, she said, “I must take my leave. I hadn’t intended to stay this long, and I should be on my way.”

The anger in her expression was clear for everyone to see, but as the lady turned away (ignoring Mr. Gadd’s weak apologies and pleadings for her to stay), Arthur saw another emotion hovering beneath the strong exterior. Her eyes shone with the pain of Mr. Gadd’s thoughtless words as they sank into her heart, carving a path of destruction that Arthur knew would linger for some time.

Not even the strongest could bear to hear another laugh so openly about courting them without feeling the sting.

“She is so defensive at times. Such a hot temper,” said Mr. Gadd with a sigh as she strode away with her head held high as though the conversation hadn’t bothered her in the slightest.

Arthur stared after the fellow. Had he not seen it? Though he didn’t doubt the flare of temper was genuine, it was a clear byproduct of her aching heart. But it was little wonder when the gentleman had so blatantly and rudely labeled her unmarriageable to the vast majority of men, for few in the company were taller than Miss Templeton.

Glancing between the lady and Mr. Gadd, who took the opportunity to stroll off the opposite way, Arthur found himself torn between wanting to chase after the former and to plant a facer in the latter. Mr. Gadd deserved a good setting down, and though Miss Templeton had delivered a firmly worded one, the gentleman required a more thorough lesson about how to treat a lady—even “a sister” deserved more respect.

“Miss Templeton,” he called, following after—though she didn’t slow.

*

Of any person she knew, Dr. Vaughn was the only one Violet would tolerate seeing at present, but even his sweetness of temper wasn’t what she required. With Osborn’s words bouncing about her mind, Violet wanted nothing more than to disappear into her home and nurse the wounds infecting her heart.

It was one thing to cast off the catty remarks of angry ladies, none of whom she knew beyond a nodding acquaintance. It was another thing altogether to hear a friend laugh at the very thought of courting her. Violet had known since the beginning that Osborn had not the slightest inkling of interest in her and hadn’t nursed any secret tendre for him, but even the thick walls she’d placed around her heart couldn’t withstand his tone, his words, and his expression.

Men wanted dainty ladies. Someone who could gaze adoringly up at them. Who was light enough to scoop up into their arms and carry them about like a doll. No man in his right mind would ever choose a woman who, at best, could be described as “sturdy.”

Just the thought of courting her was so hilarious that Osborn could hardly speak. A jest too good not to share. And Violet Templeton was a sensible creature who knew she possessed no attractions to catch a gentleman’s eye. She wouldn’t find it offensive or disheartening to hear her deficiencies bandied about so openly. No, she would find it amusing.

Violet rubbed at her forehead as her feet carried her out of the churchyard, but even above the noise of conversation, laughter, and music, she heard Dr. Vaughn calling after her as his footsteps followed. His hand brushed her arm, and though she longed to ignore it, Violet couldn’t ignore him.

“Gadd is a fool,” said Dr. Vaughn as he came to a stop before her.

“Yes, but even a fool can be right at times,” she replied in a tone that was far more bitter than she’d meant. Drawing in a deep breath, Violet pasted on a smile and added, “In truth, I knew he felt that way about me. His delivery left much to be desired, but nothing he said was a surprise or untrue.”

“Don’t be ridiculous—” The gentleman’s words halted, and when she glanced at him, she found Dr. Vaughn’s brow scrunched as he fought to find the proper words. “He…doesn’t speak… Not every man… He’s a fool…”

Despite all the frustration bubbling through her, tenderness caressed her heart with gentle touches as Violet watched him struggle for words. It had been so long since Dr. Vaughn had fought his timidity in her presence, but clearly, the sentiment returned in full force as he strained to find the proper consolations to offer.

“That is kind of you, but you needn’t puff up my vanity,” she said with a wan smile. Of their own volition, her eyes lowered to the ground, and Violet forced her head up again. “I am not a fragile flower to wilt from a few careless words. I know who I am, and I learned long ago not to look to others to validate my worth.”

Just saying the words aloud helped to rejuvenate her. With each, the strength of her convictions flowed through her, bringing with it the memories of a dozen hard-won lessons; each built one atop the other, helping to build the foundation upon which she stood. Violet Templeton was not lacking simply because she was not a gentleman’s ideal.

Dr. Vaughn watched her with a gaze that pierced through her walls, delving far deeper into her than she cared to have him see. More and more, he seemed to look beyond the surface she presented, and Violet didn’t know whether to be flattered or fearful of such a pointed look .

“I do not require marriage or romance to be content,” she said, clinging tightly to that truth. One could be quite happy even when one did not get everything one desired, after all. “Things have been trying of late, but I have done my best to create an enjoyable life rather than waiting for something or someone to appear and be the source of my contentment—and I will continue to do so regardless of what anyone thinks of me or what comes next.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Violet allowed that certainty to wrap around her, settling into her heart to help wipe away the last of the sting Osborn’s dismissal had left.

“I can manage wonderfully on my own,” she continued, “and I do not need the approval of the likes of Osborn Gadd. For all that people think my spinster state pitiable, I am happy, and their opinions will not alter that one jot.”

The pain in her heart eased away. Violet Templeton would not allow this to break her, and she refused to be like so many other ladies she knew who judged their success in life by things outside their control. One could not make another love them. One could not guarantee marriage. One could not ensure that children followed, and even if they did arrive, they had minds and wills of their own and would make of their lives what they would.

Violet wasn’t content to allow outside factors to dictate her joy in this life. For years, she’d mourned what was not to be, and though those disappointments still lay buried in her heart, they needn’t snuff out the light to be found even in a spinster’s life.

As she considered that, her muscles relaxed, the smile on her face growing more genuine as she looked at Dr. Vaughn.

“You do not wish to marry?” he asked with a faint frown.

Oh, wasn’t that a weighty question? What did wishes have to do with it? Marriage had rejected her long ago, and nothing she could do would alter that fact.

Lifting her head, Violet embraced the only truth she had to offer. “Thank you for your concern, but I assure you, I am and will continue to be happy on my own. ”

Reaching forward, she squeezed his forearm, hoping it would punctuate the calm that swept through her. With head held high, she turned her feet toward home. She may not be a man’s ideal, and the ladies may snub her, but she was Violet Templeton—and she was a woman of worth.

*

Arthur stood where Miss Templeton left him and watched as she strode away. Though he longed to follow and bask in the strength and courage resonating from her very core, his feet refused to move as the meaning in her words settled in his heart like a chunk of ice.

Miss Templeton hadn’t minced words. There was no mistaking the meaning, for she spoke clearly and succinctly. Arthur longed to dismiss it as her pride lashing out after receiving such a blow, but he’d seen the truth in her eyes. It glowed there with a certainty that brooked no refusal.

She was quite content to soldier on in her life alone. No need for a beau or a husband.

In all honesty, Arthur didn’t know anyone more capable of doing so. Even now, the thought of a life without her pressed down like on him a dresser securing a patient as the surgeon cut away the broken bits. The best chance for survival came from such efforts, yet so many operations only prolonged the death, leaving the patient no better than before.

Despite all the hopes he’d harbored for her, Arthur’s heart trembled as he realized the time had come to let them go.