Romance with Mr. Grumpy Pants: A Witty, Opposites Attract, Enemies to Lovers, Next Door Neighbor, Sw

21. Jessica

“A trombone? You’ve gotta be kidding me!” I slap the dashboard in disbelief as Brian nods his head enthusiastically. He merely glances at me before returning his eyes to the road quickly.

“And he was so serious too, talking about how his instrument would add some spice and why our band would be incomplete without him, and we’d end up flopping.”

I shake my head. “And this was after your debut?”

“A most excellent debut, if I must say. The last thing we needed was to spring up a new member all of a sudden, no less one with a freaking trombone.”

The laughter that bubbles in my throat is impossible to hold back, and it ends up swirling through the car.

“And have you seen him since then?” My eyes are on his biceps, which peek under his sleeves as he clutches the steering wheel.

He shrugs. “I stopped paying attention to him.”

“I wonder where he is now,” I say, though not really. What I’m truly wondering is how those strong arms of his would feel wrapped around me in an affectionate embrace.

“He’s most likely dropped his musical dreams and is making some weird off-brand merch at Walmart.”

“Or, he could be ridiculously rich, thanks to that trombone of his,” I giggle.

“Or that. I really don’t care.”

“Well, at least you didn’t flop like he said. That would’ve been bad.”

He chuckles. “Trust me, even if we did, it wouldn’t be because of that thing.”

“Yeah, I bet it wouldn’t. I can’t imagine how a trombone would really fit into your music anyway.”

He shakes his head as I laugh again, the image fleeting through my mind.

The ride becomes quiet, and it’s the kind that I usually wouldn’t mind, but with the thoughts currently running through my mind, silence could make me dangerous.

“Speaking of your music…” I pull out a tape from my purse. I requested an album earlier, and Georgie gave me every version: an old-fashioned cassette, a CD, and a Spotify barcode. I feel his eyes on me as I slip the tape into the music player before leaning back, waiting.

The first track begins to play, the music bringing the car ride back to life. It’s a catchy song—I wish I knew the lyrics to sing along. This way, maybe I’d stop daydreaming about Brian.

“Would you like to come to my place first?” He asks.

His voice is laced with uncertainty. No, that’s not what it is. It’s desire. Subdued but stubborn. The same type that pushed through my veins.

There’s no good that can come out of following him home. I’ve already thought about a few naughty things during this drive. I wouldn’t be able to control myself, and I can’t be so sure that he wants me as badly as I want him. For all I know, I could be hearing things differently because of how heightened my sensuality is right now.

“What would we do there?”

Ugh.It’s a stupid question, but I only realize this after the words already tumbled out of my mouth. I’m just desperate for clarity at this point.

He shrugs, and I’m glad he didn’t make it awkward. “I was thinking of opening a bottle of wine. There’s this one I’ve been saving for a special day.”

“And that’s today?”

“You’re about to release a new bestseller. I’m about to release a new hit. I can’t think of a better time.”

I pout my lips as I nod in consideration. “Well, that does sound really nice.”

Tch. Like I would’ve ever said no.

“So, it’s a date then?”

My eyes dart in his direction. “Oh, so now it is?”

He shoots me a grin before turning his eyes back to the road, making a left turn back toward our homes.

***

The dull clatter of kitchen utensils reverberates from the kitchen as I lounge in front of Brian’s television, a glass of red wine in hand. It’s impossible to ignore the growling in my stomach, especially since there’s no scent so I’m clueless about what he’s preparing.

But my hunger is nothing compared to my hunger.

The wine doesn’t even help, especially because I’ve been drinking all evening. I bite my lip, my legs tense, feet tapping in restless anticipation.

“Here you go.”

My head snaps to the side quickly to find Brian approaching me with a charcuterie spread. He hands the plates to me as he sets the small platter down.

“This looks amazing. Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he says, taking a seat next to me.

Why must he always sit so close? Does he not realize how handsome he is?

We eat silently, the program playing on the television slowly fading into background noise as I struggle with my thoughts. I catch a glimpse of him from the corner of my eyes. He seems relaxed, his attention glued to the screen.

You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m not going to lie. A part of me hoped that when Brian said we’d ‘open a bottle of wine,’ he meant something else.

It’s beginning to dawn on me how one-sided the tension brewing in the air is, and I know that if I remain this way, I might end up doing something immensely bold. I shut my eyes in frustration, trying to remain composed.

“Are you okay?”

My eyes pop open, and I turn to find a pair of brown irises staring back at me. He’s close, too close, and my mind is a mess.

What’s the worst that could happen, Jessica?

I lean in, fear and excitement pulsing through my veins in a way that makes me want him even more. His soft and gentle breathing falls on my lips, and just as I close my eyes, the worst happens.

There are a thousand ways to react to a man leaning out of a kiss before it even happens, and it takes a good number of seconds for me to decide which way to choose.

I choose to sit back in embarrassed silence.

“Jessica, I—” he lets out a labored breath. “The two of us just can’t work.”

Unmoving, non-verbal, numb, and with heavy beads of sweat resting on my forehead, it takes a moment for me to speak, and when I do, my tone is stiff as I fight back tears and a dry throat.

“Because I’m a single mom?”

“What?”

I turn on my spot, my eyes red as I stare at him.

“You haven’t looked at me once since I’ve been here, and I see the pity in your eyes whenever I’m with Lily. You think I’ll be too much to handle because I’m a single mom, right?”

The words aren’t mine, and even as they spill out of my lips, I don’t hear them in my voice, but rather the voice of the last blind date I had two years after my Liam’s passing. It’s been so long since then, but the man’s harsh words are still fresh in my memory.

He turns to me, his eyes wide with shock and remorse as he takes my hands in his. It’s little comfort, but it’s something.

“Jessica, I haven’t stopped looking at you since the very first day I saw you, and the last thing I feel for you when I see that beautiful mini-version of you is pity.”

“Then why?” I snatch my hands from him. It’s a dramatic move that I immediately regret because I want to feel his touch again, but I’m tired of him confusing me.

“Because I’m a terrible and selfish person, and a woman as amazing as you belongs as far away from me as possible.”

His words are strained, and I need no context to feel his pain, but I ask anyway.

“What makes you say that?”

He exhales deeply. “I’ve always paid too much attention to my music, neglecting the people around me who loved and needed me. Instead, I spent my time chasing after many strangers who never knew me past my stage name. I’ve learned how stupid I was, but at a cost...”

His voice trails off at the last word, and I want nothing more than to pull him close to me and never let him go.

“Is this about your sister?” A lump forms in my throat. I’ve been so insensitive, heavily consumed in my own assumptions that I overlooked how much of a human being with problems he also is.

My arms move on instinct, wrapping around him, and he leans into my hug. “I’m so sorry, Brian. But you can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. Cancer is a terrible disease…giving no warning…randomly choosing its victims.”

He nods. “Yeah, maybe. But I wasn’t there for her.”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, though. If anything, it would’ve been hard for her to watch how bad her health made you feel. And she would want you to be happy.”

He leans away from the hug and forces a smile.

He continues with a bitter undertone. “I wish I could feel consolation from your words, but the guilt is too strong. Then, there’s my ex who almost killed herself while I was miles away, and when she calls me to tell me how much she needs me, I tell her to handle her own problems because I was too busy. She was losing her mind, and I thought she was just clingy.”

I sigh. His words, as dark as they are, are a soothing balm to my fears. Selfishly, I’m relieved to hear that he’s not repulsed by me.

“I think you’ve punished yourself enough, Brian. You realized your mistakes and have grown a lot since then. It’s okay to stop letting the past hold you back from love.”

He tilts his head up, his reddened eyes shimmering with emotion. “Love?”

I smile, shocked by my confession but too exhausted to deny it now. “Love.”

His sad brown eyes lock onto mine as he inches closer, his lips pressing against mine with a tender warmth that lingers from the wine. There’s a hint of savory richness, infusing the kiss with an almost intoxicating flavor. As he envelops me in his embrace, gently caressing my back, my body surrenders to his touch. In that moment, nothing else matters. We passionately lose ourselves in each other as we endure the feelings we’ve been grappling with for what feels like an eternity.