Chapter 24
Ronan
“Ronan!” The insistent rasp of Cameron’s voice slices through my sleep, and I bolt upright with my sword in hand, whirling to confront the darkness. The cold steel is comforting in my grip as I scope the room, ready to attack.
“Where do you keep that thing?!” The lack of panic in his tone loosens my grasp until the weapon hangs at my side.
“Why is it that every time you have something to say, it’s when we’re sleeping? Fucking hells, I thought someone was here .” Metal scratches against leather as my sword slides into its sheath, and I place it under the bed, a perfect distance for when I need it. I flop onto my stomach, covering my head with a pillow. “This is my life now,” I lament into the mattress, voice muffled.
“I will shove your giant ass right off this bed if you don’t get out here and talk to me,” Cameron threatens, and I snort as I close my eyes. When his feet land against my side, my head whips out and I glare at him through the blackness .
“I swear on everything sacred, if you push me out of bed, you’ll find yourself tied up before bedtime from now on. Every single fucking night.”
“First you threaten to gag me, now you’re saying you’ll tie me up, too? Kinky.” My head thunks onto the pillow when he grabs my shoulder. “Will… you… wake… up?” He shakes me with each word and my temper explodes. I grab his hands and shove him back on the mattress, rolling us until I’m straddling his waist, pinning him.
“What is so godsdamned important it couldn’t wait until morning?”
“It’s awfully dark tonight, isn’t it?” My eyes lock on his face, reminding myself that I love him and will not murder him.
Despite the current urge.
“You woke me in the middle of the night to tell me it’s dark?” I ask, my voice completely flat. “It’s night , Cameron. Of course it’s fucking dark.”
He scoffs, forgetting I can see his eye roll in the darkness. “All your DNA really went straight to making you pretty, didn’t it? It bypassed whatever part of your brain is responsible for being observant.”
“Cameron,” I growl in warning, and he releases a long-suffering sigh.
“Here, I’ll just have this conversation for you since you aren’t capable of anything besides grunting right now.” His voice turns grumpy and deep, which I assume is meant to imitate me. “‘Why, yes, it is awfully dark tonight. You are so observant and amazing and I’m pretty sure you’re the last genius on the planet, so let me ask you… why do you think it’s so dark?’ ”
Tone normal, he answers himself. “Why, golly, I am a genius, thank you for noticing. If you ask me, it’s dark because our marks are no longer glowing .”
Surprise knocks me backward as I yank my hands from his wrists and stare at my palm. He’s right—the golden glow that radiated since the night we first met is gone, and now there’s nothing.
“What the fuck?” I whisper. “What happened?”
“I don’t know… I woke up and saw how dark it was, and I realized the light from your mark was missing.”
“And yours?” My throat tightens as I wait, even though I already know the answer.
His tone is infinitely gentle as he whispers, “Gone.”
“But we’re not… we’re still…” Flustered, I shove my hand through my hair. “You’re mine,” I stress, unable to form any other thoughts. “Always mine… you promised…”
“I’m yours,” he agrees in a whisper, grabbing my neck and tugging me down until I cover him like a blanket. “Nothing’s different, okay?”
Panic swarms in my stomach as I shake my head. “Why would our marks go away, though? What if the fates are trying to send us a message? What if something has changed and we don’t know it yet? What if—”
“Ronan, slow down.” His palms slide onto my cheeks as he pulls me in for a kiss. “What did you tell me once? The marks could disappear, the fates could change their mind, and you’d still want me? Has that changed?”
“Of course not,” I argue, and he silences me with another kiss.
“Okay, so let’s figure this out without the drama queen tendencies, huh?” My face tucks into his neck as I curl into him, hiding the grin that tugs at my lips despite my worry.
His throat clicks in a swallow before his tone becomes more serious, his words tripping on themselves as they come out. “You don’t… feel any different, do you? About me?”
“No, my feelings for you have only grown stronger. Don’t ever think that, Cam.” His arms wrap around me, squeezing as he breathes a quiet, relieved sigh he thinks I don’t hear. “May I offer a suggestion?”
“Got a bright idea?”
“Well, actually, yes. Literally.” Untangling myself from him, I drag him into the bathroom, then shut the door and flip on the light.
“Fuck, my eyes!” They slam closed behind his glasses, but mine lock on his arm. “A warning would be nice next time.”
“Cam, look.”
“Give me a moment to walk away from the light,” he grumbles, squinting his eyes open by the tiniest sliver.
“ Look , damn it!” After taking a full second to scowl at me, he follows my gaze to his upper arm. If it wasn’t so late and we both weren’t so stressed, the way his eyes bulge would almost be comical.
Where it previously glowed a faint yellow, the mark on his arm is now a familiar dusty mauve—the same shade as my skin. Roughly the shape of a handprint, there’s no longer any light behind it. In sync, both our gazes move to my hand as I open it, finding that most of my palm has turned the golden tan of his complexion .
“That’s trippy,” he mutters, grabbing my wrist and tugging it to his face as his fingers trace the pattern. “What do you think changed?”
“I have no idea,” I admit, more than a little uncomfortable at being Fate’s guinea pigs. “Could it be due to… physical reasons?”
Right on cue, Cameron’s cheeks redden up like a tomato as his eyes dart away. “I… wouldn’t think so. It’s… well… it’s not the first time you’ve…” He trails off, and I fight a smile as his flush spreads to his ears. “… been inside me.” Those last few words are mumbled so softly that I need a moment to understand them.
“Yeah, I guess that’s technically true.” His gaze flips up before dropping back to the ground. He’s so adorably shy that I can’t stop my laugh as I wrap my arms around him. “Want me to fuck you again and see if they’re any different in the morning?”
“What?” he breathes, whipping his eyes up to mine.
A wide grin tears across my face, enjoying the teasing far too much as I adjust his glasses. “Or if you’re too sore, you can always fuck me.” This time he inhales so quickly he chokes, ducking away and thumping his hand on his chest as he coughs. I rub my palm over his back and swear he’s blushing there, too.
“Real confidence booster,” I tease, his snark returning as he glares at me. “Way to make a guy feel good about himself.”
“You… really want to do that?” he asks when he’s gotten his attitude in check.
I wait until he looks at me to make sure he sees my slow nod. “You’re experiencing a lot of things for the first time, Cam. There’s no right or wrong way to have sex, and just because I have more experience than you—” He cuts me off with a low growl, and my smile is ecstatic at the show of possessiveness.
“I am not interested in hearing about your exes… or hookups…” His lip lifts in a snarl as he says it. “Or anyone from your past. It doesn’t matter who they were, and I sure as fuck don’t want to hear what they did to you, because you’re mine now.”
“Yours,” I promise, meaning it to the very depth of my soul as I lean in and claim his lips in a drawn-out kiss. “Always yours.” The animal inside him seems appeased as he nods, resting his cheek against my chest as I run my fingers through his hair. “Let’s go back to bed.”
Pitch black surrounds us as I flick the switch off, and the heat still lingers between the covers as we climb back into their warmth. Cameron curls into me, slinging a leg over my hip and tucking his face against my neck.
I hum a contented sigh as his lips graze my skin. “Now, can I finish my statement without you going all growly again?”
“No promises,” he mutters, and I chuckle.
“What I was saying is this—my experience doesn’t mean I make the rules. What you want, or think you want, is just as important as my preferences. Anything you’re interested in trying, tell me. Will you promise me that?”
“Yeah,” he says, voice quiet. “I can handle that.”
“Even if it embarrasses you and you have to mime it.”
“That seems way worse than just saying it.” The mental image of him miming a blowjob with that adorable blush on his cheeks makes me grin .
“Swear to me.” He nods, and I can’t help but tease him. “Now, if you come in one day and ask to suck on my toes while I’m suspended from the ceiling, I’ll have questions… a lot of questions, but hell, I’ll try anything once.”
“Jesus,” he mutters, burying his face deeper in my neck.
“Golden showers are not my thing, but I said I’d do anything for you and I’m a man of my word.”
“Ronan!” he wails, and I can’t help it as I burst out laughing. Once I’ve calmed down, he nervously picks at the skin on my forearm, and I know there’s something on his mind. “You were serious?” he finally asks.
“About the toes?”
“Not about the toes.” He smacks my arm but then sobers and swallows so loudly it’s audible in the quiet room. “About if I wanted to… top?”
“That’s an easy one, Cam—a hundred times, yes. The minute you tell me you want to be inside me, I’ll be begging at your feet for it. You just say the word.” He nods, his hair silky against my chin as he wraps an arm around my torso, tugging me closer until there’s barely a molecule between us. “And if you don’t want to, that’s okay, too.”
I love you, so fucking much , I think, but the words stay locked inside my lips as I run my hands across his body. This man could ask me to do anything imaginable, and I’d gladly obey.
Surely he knows that.
“Ro?” he whispers so low, it’s almost as though he’s hiding from the words. “This is scary.”
He doesn’t have to elaborate.
Doesn’t need to tell me what he means .
Because after more than a hundred years in this life, facing the ugliest that the world offers, falling in love with Cameron is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.
“I know it is,” I whisper back, pushing my nose into his hair and soaking in his scent.
“Do you?” He cuddles closer, and my arms band around him in a tight hug.
“Yeah, mo’sziv, I do.”
It’s quiet for so long, and his breathing is so steady, that I’m convinced he’s fallen asleep as I stare at the ceiling. “Ro?” he whispers again. “Are you asleep?”
“No.” I press a kiss against the top of his hair. “Can you not find rest either?”
“My brain won’t shut off.” That’s a sentiment I understand all too well, having barely gotten any sleep since Reyes’s bombshell of information. “Tell me a story.”
“What would you like to hear about?”
“The other side,” he says, his voice raspy and low, and my heart pinches in my chest as the flood of memories rushes into my mind. Bittersweet images and sensations take me back an entire lifetime. “What was it like where you grew up?”
“Beautiful,” I whisper, swallowing past the emotions and collecting myself before I speak again. “You would love it there. It’s as if you’re looking at the world through a filter. Every color is vivid. The skies are not blue like they are here, but a pale orange hue, almost smoky as the sun shines through the atmosphere. At sunset, the most amazing shade of blood orange covers everything as the moons rise.”
“Moons?” His finger swirls over my chest as a smile tears across my face .
“Caught that, did you? There are three… Majesec, Kuu, and Tungl. Majesac and Tungl are called The Twins because they are both giants, nearly identical shades of red against the stars. As soon as the sun disappears, they rise first, climbing side by side to the same height in the sky.”
My hand waves through the darkness, a small smile on my face as I picture the warm glow reflecting off the grass. “Kuu is different. She is called the Rebel Moon, and does not climb as high. Compared to the others, she is much smaller, but her size doesn’t take away from her beauty. She has the most beautiful pink glow, like a rose petal lying on a field of black velvet. Her light is what guides us in the night, and she outshines everything else in the sky for the few hours she hangs there.”
“What about your village?” he asks through a yawn. “How many people lived there?”
“We were an odd grouping,” I say with a nostalgic chuckle. “On the other side, most villages were formed by members of the same species, but not ours. Almost everyone was different, and I had opportunities to learn their cultures and their ways.”
“Were there other Anunians there besides you and your father?”
“A few, although the others were often wary of us because of our history as warriors. My father’s closest friend was the ancient Bemesse lady next door, Shon’ya. They’re a race of scholars, and she was old even by their standards.” My smile widens as I remember her kind yellow eyes. “Gods, what a pair they made. She didn’t even come to his shoulder, and her deep brown skin was covered in wrinkles, but her mind was razor sharp. I don’t know that I ever asked her a question she couldn’t answer. ”
“I bet you asked a lot of questions as a child,” he says, and I huff a laugh.
“So many questions. She was the unofficial village matriarch, and the reason my father and I were permitted to stay when we arrived. The others were not so quick to accept us, although we eventually built a home there. One away from the fighting, just like my father had been dreaming of.”
“Tell me about the trees.” Cameron’s voice is slowing, getting heavier and quieter as he snuggles his face into my chest.
“You always have loved the forest,” I muse, and he gives a sleepy nod against me. “Trees are taller there, some of them reaching so high, their tips touch the clouds. Every color you could dream of—purple and blue, bright yellow, and even some with green leaves that resemble the trees here.”
“My favorites were the Dirdira that grew along the banks of the rivers. Their branches were tiny things, skinnier than my fingers, and they formed a curtain that fell all the way to the grass.” I glance at my palm in the darkness. “Pale yellow… almost the same color as our marks.”
“Back when they glowed,” he adds, and I chuckle with a nod.
“Yes, back when they glowed. The light pushed through like a prism when you were underneath, painting rainbows across the grass. If you touched the branches, they lit up like fireflies. It had something to do with the microorganisms that lived within the leaves, although I’ll admit I was daydreaming when it was explained to me.”
Cameron’s laugh blows across my neck as he presses a barely-there kiss against my skin, listening intently. “ As a child, I would hide underneath them, running in circles and dragging my fingers along the branches. I’d run until I was dizzy, then fall to the ground and lie on my back, staring at the masterpiece of luminescence around me.”
“It sounds so beautiful,” Cameron whispers, and his limbs twitch as sleep tries to pull him under.
“It was,” I whisper back, pressing my lips against his head and closing my eyes, desperate to hold on to that memory as long as I can, and terrified of the day I wake up to find it gone. “The most beautiful thing I’d ever seen until the day I met you.”
Reyes perches on a small, empty section of the countertop. “You’re sure you don’t mind us taking all these things?” Cameron asks.
“Explain to me why he gets an opinion on the matter,” I grumble, gesturing around at the towering stacks of supplies filling the garage. “And why he's even out here? I thought he was hiding?”
“Saw you getting ready to leave and wanted to see you off,” Reyes says with a snarky grin, but I ignore him, gesturing at the piles of stuff.
“What’s here could supply him for the next decade, and he’d still have a surplus. Not to mention, he already told us his little goblin caves are filled with way more than what we’ve collected up here. ”
“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s his stuff,” Cameron argues, as Reyes glances warily between us.
“Possession is nine-tenths of the law,” I mutter.
“Thought possession is the law for monsters? You just swept me from that jail cell and claimed I was yours.”
“Funny, that’s not exactly how I remember that happening.”
He nods, a serious expression on his face as he turns to Reyes. “Oh, of course he’d remember it differently, am I right? Picture this—me, trapped in a dark, dirty cell. Ronan, clad in his officer leather. What’s this? Interrogation room, but why?”
“What sort of fucked up improv are you doing?” I ask, horrified, but he ignores me.
Cameron’s grin is manic as he continues. “Rebel scum, they call me, but it’s all lies. A smack of the hand, my bread thuds to the ground.”
“Stop,” I beg, covering his mouth with my palm, but the little shit licks me and wiggles away.
“You are mine now, he claims, then—slam! Stuffed in a trunk… why is it so dark?”
“Oh, my gods, smite me down now,” I groan, burying my face in my hands. Cameron loses it, giggling hysterically as he comes over and hugs me, his body shaking against my chest.
“Y’all are fucking weird,” Reyes says, and I just shrug, because after that performance?
Yeah.
“You’re the one living in a rat hole.”
“It’s not a rat hole. It’s a very nice secret apartment with my favorite stuff in it.” Ignoring me again, he focuses on Cameron. “Don’t feel guilty about the supplies. Consider it payment for getting that solar panel up and running. They all died when raiders took the parts a couple of years ago. I managed, but having hot water and lights is a luxury after so long without them.”
“We’re taking that with us, too.” I gesture at the solar panel that is larger than the van, and Reyes sighs, continuing to pretend I’m not here.
“You know you could do better, right?” he says to Cameron, and my mouth drops as my mate laughs. He laughs, but doesn’t answer, and something ugly and brambled burrows into my chest. Tendrils of anger slither under my skin as my breathing grows shallow.
“You aren’t mad I’m taking all these books, are you?” Cam asks as he gestures towards the overflowing box full of colorful covers, oblivious to my agitation behind him.
“Nah.” A hint of a grin tugs at Reyes’s lips as he glances beyond Cameron to me, and I barely contain the urge to smack the smirk off his stupid face. “There are so many in there that I’ll never get through them all. It makes me happy they’re going with someone who will appreciate them and not just use them for a fire.”
“Aw, thanks, man,” Cameron says, and Reyes reaches to pull him into a hug.
The final thread of my restraint snaps as I charge forward with a furious growl. Cameron grunts a quiet, “ Oof ,” as I yank him against me, glaring at Reyes. “You tell him he can do better and then put your hands on him? I will remove them from your useless body if you even think about touching him.”
“Ronan,” Cameron scolds, and I turn my anger towards him .
“You are not off the hook, either. If you allow another man to insult me, you do not get to be upset when I do something about it. Maybe you need the reminder of exactly what I’ll do to someone who tries to take what is mine.”
“Ronan,” he repeats, gentle this time. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Another growl rumbles low in the back of my throat as I bare my teeth at him. “You did not hurt my feelings .”
“Mo’sziv,” he whispers, and I divert my gaze, trying to hide the way my heart squeezes when he uses those words with me. “You told me something once that stuck with me, and I’m going to say it now, because you need to hear it.”
His eyes are bright as the afternoon sky as I glance at him, wondering if he possibly knows how important he has become to me. “What is it?” I ask softly.
He presses a kiss to my lips before pushing our foreheads together, his eyes never leaving mine. “You are a stupid monster.” Surprise has me blinking at him as he throws my own words back at me. “Such a stupid monster to think I’d ever want anyone else. Have I not shown you by now exactly what you mean to me?”
My teeth clench, the muscles in my jaw tight as I stare into those blue eyes. “There are certain parts of my instincts I am able to fight when it comes to you, Cameron, but seeing your hands on someone else is not one of them.” My hand creeps up until it gently wraps around his neck, tugging him so close our lips brush. “No one else touches what is mine.”
His breath shudders out in a quiet whimper as I drag him forward, pressing a kiss to his lips as my thumb strokes over his Adam’s apple. “Make no mistake, Cameron. I will not share you.” If Reyes wasn’t standing right there, I’d bend him over the counter and give him a reminder that would last for days, and the needy gleam in his eyes tells me he’d love every second of it.
“Now,” I whisper, voice so quiet it doesn’t carry beyond the two of us, “tell your friend goodbye before my need to claim you wins out over logic, and do it in a way that doesn’t trigger my monster.”
His tongue darts out between his lips and he gives a shaky nod. “Yeah, okay.” My grip loosens, some of my tension dissolving as he presses a lingering kiss on my lips. “Thank you,” he whispers.
I tilt my head curiously as I pull back. “What are you thanking me for?”
“Wanting me… choosing me,” he whispers, and just like that, my anger is gone, replaced with blinding affection for the man in front of me.
“You are the only choice I’ve ever made with my whole heart, Cameron, and a choice I will continue to make every single day I wake up in this life.” His lip wobbles as I drag my thumb across it, but then forms a sunny smile. He kisses me one final time before composing himself, turning around to finish his goodbyes with Reyes.
My eyes never leave the other man, and his hands stay far, far away where they belong. Boomerang leaps into her spot in the van as we climb inside.
And then, we leave.