Chapter 16 Sierra
SIERRA
I feel as though I got hit by a truck.
A massive, beautiful truck.
One that’s still at the crime scene, judging by the soft breathing inches from my ear.
Little dust specks drift through the sunlight in the window. The scents of wood and Ryan fill my senses.
The pillow is soft under my cheek as I roll toward him.
I’m not a big sleepover girl, especially with guys. This one fills the entire bed in a way that should be annoying.
Every shift of my body ignites a vivid memory, as though despite the low lighting and muffled sounds of the cabin, I’m ready to soak in each moment.
Ryan kissing me, touching me, moving with me.
Last year’s hookup was good.
This was a damned revelation.
He’s really good in bed. It’s such an understatement I nearly laugh.
But more than that, the things he said, the way he acted, made me feel as though he was genuinely in this for more than one night.
Am I?
I can’t be.
Except… he makes me want to.
I wonder what it would be like to wake up in my bed with him next to me. To meet up with him when we’re both done work, to take a hot bath and talk about each other’s days and have the kind of slow sex that leaves marks. To hang out in public in that easy way Clay and Nova or Miles and Brooke do.
That was never something I aspired to, but now I’m questioning whether I was too quick to dismiss it.
I glance over my shoulder. There’s a trail of clothes along the floorboards of the loft. I creep toward the window, carefully picking up one piece after another.
He doesn’t even snore.
I have to get out of here. The sentence rises up, and as much as I want to stay, I know it’s true.
Getting down the ladder is trickier than getting up, but I make it. Once I get to the second floor, the scent of coffee drifts up from downstairs. I get a robe from my room—Chloe’s up already, shit—and head down to the kitchen.
Brooke’s there, moving around the kitchen and pulling down mugs. Nova lifts the coffee pot in one hand.
No Chloe.
Did she notice I left last night? I sure as hell hope not.
“There she is,” Brooke calls.
“Please tell me there’s enough for me,” I say.
“There’s enough for everyone.” Nova pours into mugs, and I shift onto a stool on the opposite side of the island.
“Everyone?” I ask.
“Guys are still asleep. They can make another pot.”
I blink, sleepiness catching up to me.
“Yesterday was fun,” Nova says.
“Getting snowed in isn’t so bad after all,” I say.
“It’s definitely not,” Brooke decides.
Nova nods. “Chloe’s trying to figure out what’s happening with the game.”
Hopefully, she’s distracted enough by that she’s not thinking about me.
“The league is freaking out. We can’t reschedule the game. TV commitments are locked in and tickets are sold and…” Chloe’s voice comes from behind me, and we all turn to face her. “Whose bed did you sleep in last night?”
“There’s a loft.” I try to sound cool. “I found it last night while looking for sheets for the couch.”
“So, you slept in this loft?”
“Alone?” Brooke asks.
Nova smacks her in the arm. “Brooke!”
“What?! It’s a legit question. The only one that has permeated my pre-caffeine haze.” Her mug goes to her lips, and she watches me over it.
“Anyone want mimosas?” I ask.
Sure enough, there’s happy assent.
Saved by champagne and OJ.
I grab a bottle out of the fridge and the pitcher of juice. “Nova, can you find champagne flutes?”
“Yes! I spotted some in the cabinet yesterday.”
I pop the cork and start to pour.
“No champagne for me. Just OJ,” Nova murmurs.
“Still not sleeping?” Brooke asks, sympathetic.
“Hmm? I slept great,” Nova blinks, caught out. “I mean…”
We gasp. “Are you…?”
She beams. “I just took a test. It’s early yet, and we’ve been trying for a while, so I don’t want to get our hopes up. I haven’t told Clay, but I was going to tomorrow.”
“Whatever happens, we love you and so does Clay,” Brooke says.
“And today is worth celebrating,” Chloe adds.
We all clink glasses. This is friendship. This is what it’s about.
Except… they all have a reason to be in the group. I know we’ve clicked the last while, but if I left, I wouldn’t have them. Wouldn’t have this.
There’s a knot starting between my shoulder blades.
“Can we see it?” Brooke asks after we’ve each taken a sip.
“See what?”
“This loft.” Brooke’s eyes gleam, and she starts for the stairs.
I didn’t want to do this. Hooking up with the Kodiaks’ star rookie could cause all kinds of problems for the bar, for our friend group, for me.
Ryan appears at the top of the steps.
The knot evaporates… or it’s eclipsed by the way my heart thuds against my ribs.
It’s a response to the man who gave me multiple orgasms—not because of how thoughtful he is, how I’m wondering if he’d actually cook for me on Valentine’s Day and how much I’d like it if he did.
Isn’t it?
“Sierra said she found a loft last night,” Brooke says.
He looks between us. “Oh yeah?”
I take another sip of my mimosa, the bubbles dancing on my tongue making me feel almost as alive as how it feels to be under his gaze.
Ryan’s wearing gray sweatpants, and his shirt’s in his hand. He pulls it on.
I can’t look away.
“You have a little…” Brooke points at the corner of my mouth.
I swat at her hand.
A burst of activity at the top of the stairs ends that line of conversation.
Jay is there behind Ryan, along with Atlas and Clay. Miles pulls up the back.
“Chlo! Do we have a game today or what?” Miles calls.
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ve been sorting your shit out all morning,” Chloe says.
“She’s always grumpy before breakfast. You want pancakes or French toast?” Jay asks.
“Pancakes,” a chorus of voices supplies.
Jay takes the lead. Ryan helps with seriously impressive bacon, and Clay does the toast.
The girls sit around the table, sipping mimosas and coffee while the guys cook. Chloe occasionally rises to try to place a phone call or respond to an email. The guys bring breakfast to the table, setting it around proudly.
When Ryan puts a plate in front of me, leaning close, he says, “Morning.”
“Morning.”
He’s had a shower. His hair is damp, and he smells distractingly delicious.
Did I turn my face toward him to better assess this?
I’m fucked.
“Thanks,” I say, my gaze locking with his.
It sounds like I mean for the plate, but really I mean for not saying anything in front of the others.
He tugs a chair in next to me.
As though he’s saying he’ll keep our secret—for now—but he’s not staying away from me.
His hand finds my thigh under the table, his thumb stroking my skin under my shorts.
No one can see it.
I reach for my coffee again.
“I got cars to come pick us up,” Chloe announces. “They think they can get through by tonight.”
Groans go up.
“What’re we going to do about the game?” Atlas grouches.
“LA will dance on our graves,” Jay moans.
“Not possible,” Ryan weighs in. “They can’t record a loss. Tell them to move it.”
“Yes, I’ll have the league move an entire game date with broadcast deals and ticket sales so we can have our dick-measuring match,” Chloe says evenly.
“It’s not so bad, you know,” Nova says when we’re side by side in front of the dishwasher.
“What’s not?”
“Dating a Kodiak.”
* * *
Last night, I figured there was some special magic up here. The Christmas spirit edged its way into my grinchy soul.
But the idea that Ryan and I could actually date won’t leave my head.
I keep thinking about it all morning: while we clean up breakfast, while I sneak a shower, while we enjoy the last of the cabin.
It’s crazy. I’m not looking for a relationship. My life revolves around the bar. Cozy date nights and spilling each other’s deepest fears are not on my bingo card.
Not to mention Ryan’s experiencing the biggest swoop upward in his young career while I’m wrestling with my own.
Case in point: My dad texted to remind me he had to stock up on beer and to say we can’t afford the new lighting fixtures I want to buy.
Which we could if he’d lean on Clay for a moment or let me pay for them.
There’s a knock on my door while I’m packing.
Ryan.
He leans a shoulder against the half-open doorway, his eyes full of so much I want him to say and never say all at once. “Chloe not here?”
I turn back to my duffel, setting my makeup bag on top and reaching for the zipper. “I think she’s outside on her phone.” I slide the zipper closed. “Hopefully you guys will get back in time for the game.”
“Don’t tell anyone, but I wouldn’t be mad if we didn’t,” he says.
Footsteps at my back have my awareness dialing up. God, I have it bad for this guy.
“I’m sure you could use another day off. You and me both.”
Ryan chuckles. “That’s not it.”
He’s close enough to touch me.
Finally, he does.
It’s a hand on my arm, but I glance back because I can’t resist.
“I’m having too much fun with you.”
“With me?” I echo.
“And everyone,” he adds as though he thinks I’ll slip under his arm and out the door if he comes on too strong.
Maybe I will.
“Come to my game tonight. If we get back.”
“I work on Christmas.”
“I know. But it would mean a lot to me if you came. You could sit in the team box. Nova and Brooke will be there for sure. Lots of family.”
“Yours?”
He shakes his head. “Not this year. One of my sisters has a new baby, so she’s not traveling. It would mean even more to have someone there for me.”
Damn.
He’s thought about this.
“What if we don’t get back?” I ask.
“Then spend it with me anyway.” His lips tip up. “You might not have much choice, but promise me.”
“Okay, I’ll go to your game.”
“And spend Christmas with me no matter what.”
“Fine! I’ll spend Christmas with you.”
His hand finds my waist, and he tugs me against him. He’s so tall I have to press up onto my toes when he kisses me. My hands creep up his chest, reach for the back of his neck, and settle for his shoulders.
“You’re too tall,” I murmur without lifting my mouth from his.
“You liked it fine last night,” he replies the same way.
By the time we break apart, it’s been minutes. Perfect, blissful minutes.
He pulls away first. “I better go pack. If I don’t leave now, I’m not going to.”
I relent and watch him leave, tossing a grin over his shoulder before he reaches the hallway. My heart flips. My stomach too.
I know what I have to do.
I call and get my dad’s voicemail. “Dad, it’s me. I think I’m going to close the bar tonight.”
* * *
“I’ve done it!” Chloe proclaims as she bursts in the front door half an hour later, filling the entire cabin with her voice. “I am a queen. A goddess. All should bow down.”
I’m padding back downstairs and wondering if anyone would notice if Ryan and I disappeared to the loft for a while.
“What happened?” Brooke asks, looking up from where she’s reading a magazine in an overstuffed chair.
“The road is open. SUVs with chains are arriving anytime. We’re getting back in time for the game.”
Cheers go up, Atlas pumping his fists in the air and Miles and Jay high-fiving.
The guys are competitive, and they don’t want to miss their chance to beat LA. Plus, missing the game would disappoint the fans.
“The team will go first, and we’ll follow,” Chloe’s saying.
We pile bags and bins by the door. Taking down the Christmas decorations feels bittersweet.
“I’m kind of bummed we have to take this down,” I confide in Nova.
“I know. But the game will be great. I never used to get playing a sport on Christmas, but it’s pretty fun. You’re coming, right?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
Her face brightens with delight before she loops an arm through mine. “We’re going to have the best time. I love the ugly holiday sweaters they give out. You probably have a bunch of them.”
“Actually, I don’t have any.”
“You don’t have one?” Ryan overhears and swoops in. He shakes his head. “We’re going to fix that today.”
A banging outside has us looking over.
“That must be the car!” Jay’s already heading for the door, Ryan on his heels.
Jay jams his feet into his boots and is outside the next second. We rush to follow, all of us in a pile that spills out onto the porch.
Jay stops at once, lifting his arms. “Oh shit.”
There’s a new addition to the clearing in front of the house, paused and watchful.
It’s not an SUV.
It’s a bear.