Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
T ressy
I thought the drive back to Rowdy’s parents’ house would be awkward, full of weird silence and a need to fill the silence that just made everything worse.
It wasn’t. Rowdy put his hand on my thigh as he drove, a warm weight that just made all the loud voices in my head shut down and purr. I felt like a damn cat who wanted to rub up against him and have him pet me.
Maybe I’d think about the implications of that later. Or maybe not. What I knew was that I didn’t want to leave here anytime soon. And I didn’t know how I was going to make that happen. I had a life, a career, people who needed me.
I also had two partners who could handle things for me for a week or so while I figured out my shit. Or got him out of my system. Because Rowdy had seriously gotten under my skin.
And there was also the problem of my mom and sister.
“You’re gonna come to the game tomorrow, right? ”
It was the first he’d spoken since we left his house, and I could see the lights from his parents’ house through the trees just ahead.
I didn’t even stop to think about my answer. “Of course.”
I turned in time to see his smile. That smile that did amazing things to my breathing and heart rate and made practically every part of my body tingle, including the parts that still ached and begged for more.
“Good. Maybe we’ll even win one for you.”
He smiled, but I heard something in his voice that didn’t vibe with the smile. But it was late, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his arms and go to sleep. But I couldn’t because I had to be there when Krista woke up.
“I’d like to see that.”
“Yeah, so would we.”
And there was that tone in his voice again, the one that held a secret I couldn’t crack.
“Rowdy…”
He pulled to a stop at the side of his parents’ house, at the path that led to the side door that opened directly into the rooms Krista and I were sharing. No one would know what time I came home, because that door had a keypad for entry. No sneaking through the house like a guilty teenager after curfew. Something I’d never done, by the way.
“Yeah?”
I looked at him and couldn’t help but smile. He hadn’t bothered to comb his hair, just raked his hands through it, and it looked messy, all those soft waves. I loved it. And even though his eyes were shadowed in the dark, I knew I’d remember the exact shade of them forever.
“I had fun tonight.”
His smile turned into a wide grin. “Me, too, Princess.”
That nickname was growing on me. If anyone else had tried to call me that, I would’ve ripped them a new one. But Rowdy… The rules were different for Rowdy.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then I leaned across the console, and he met me halfway, our lips coming together harder than either of us intended. But the second we touched, that fire in my blood burned hotter than ever. My hands rose to cup his face so he couldn’t pull away, not that I thought he would. No, he kissed me deeper, his mouth more demanding, until I couldn’t breathe, and my heart pounded against my ribs. Until I was ready to crawl over the divider and onto his lap.
Just when I thought I might actually do it, he pulled away, that grin gone but the heated intensity in his eyes letting me know he wanted more.
“Not that I don’t want to continue this, but before I strip you naked, and we end up pretzel fucking in my truck, you should go inside.”
I laughed at the wry humor in his voice, but I could also hear the promise, too. And no, I really didn’t want either of his parents to accidently look out a window and catch sight of me and their son fucking in his truck. I would never be able to look either of them in the eyes again.
Hell, I wasn’t sure how I was going to face Raffi in the morning as it was.
With that thought in mind, I watched him get out of the truck and walk around to my door. He gave me his hand to help me out, and I had a momentary panic when I realized I didn’t want to let him go.
When I tried to release him, he curved his fingers around mine and walked me to the door, hand in hand.
“You and Krista want to go to brunch with the team and the Angels tomorrow? It’s another tradition, but mostly it’s just to gossip about what happened the night before.”
He must have seen the look of panic on my face because he immediately added, “Trust me, no one’ll give you a hassle. You’re new. You get a pass. At least for a few weeks, anyway. The girls will make sure of it.”
I wanted to go. I wanted to spend more time with him. Wanted to be part of this world, if only for a few short days.
“Sure. What time?”
“Be back around eleven.” Then he leaned over and pressed his lips against mine for all of two seconds before he pulled away. “See you tomorrow, Princess. Sleep well.”
He walked back to the truck but didn’t get in until I’d opened the door and shut it behind me.
“Mommy? Are you okay? I’m hungry. And it’s, like, almost lunch.”
Krista’s voice made my eyes fly open as I shot from sleep to instantly awake.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Krista laughed as she bounced on my bed before snuggling in beside me. “I’m hungry. You’ve been sleeping for so long. I thought you’d never wake up. I wanna eat.”
Turning to look at the clock on the bedside table, I groaned when I saw the time. “Baby, it’s only seven-thirty. And it’s Saturday. We can sleep later on Saturdays and Sundays, remember?”
“But I’m awake, and I’m bored. Can I watch TV until you get up?”
A yawn caught me off-guard, making Krista giggle again. “Mama, you must have gone to bed late.”
Heat flooded my cheeks as I remembered exactly what I’d been doing last night that had kept me awake late.
“You know what, hon? You can watch TV. If you do it in the other room.”
Krista smacked a kiss on my burning cheek then scrambled off the bed to run to the sitting room where the TV was located. I figured she’d call for me in a few seconds because she wouldn’t be able to find the remote or wouldn’t be able to work the TV. But I was proven wrong when I heard the distinctive sound of cartoon voices filter into my bedroom.
With a tired sigh, I flopped back down on the bed and closed my eyes again, though I knew I couldn’t fall back to sleep. Yes, I was tired, but Krista needed me. A little alone time with my thoughts was not too much to ask, though, right?
Was I having regrets about last night? Should I have regrets about last night?
No. Because I wasn’t a child, and sex wasn’t dirty. And, oh my god, it had been the best sex I’d ever had. Ever. I wanted to have sex with Rowdy again tonight and the next night and?—
Krista and I couldn’t stay forever. Not even for a month. I had made a commitment to my business partners. Our agency was only four years old. I had clients who depended on me, who trusted me with their children. And even though my business partners would cover for me for as long as I needed, I had to go back to the city because that’s where my clients needed me to be.
But did they really?
Most of my work was done over the phone or by video call now. Sure, I took in-person meetings when I had to, but I spent at least two days a week working from home because I didn’t want to make the trek across town to our office. My partners and I had even considered shutting down our office or getting one in a shared workspace. Jen and Leon had pushed for it, while I’d been the hold out. We’d agreed to talk about it again at the end of this year after we had some hard data to justify getting rid of the space.
So, why couldn’t we stay a little longer?
So now you’re letting one night of sex get the better of you?
Rational Girl was back. Bad Girl must still be sleeping.
Shit. I needed a shower.
“Krista, honey, I’m getting in the shower. ”
I made sure I heard her say, “Okay, Mommy,” before I forced myself out of bed and into the bathroom. Krista and I had a date with Rowdy this morning and I wanted to be presentable. But when I saw the tub, I knew I couldn’t pass it up. It was huge, could probably fit at least two people, and had one of those over-the-tub trays where I could put my phone so I could read through my email and socials while I soaked.
I’d skimmed my emails a few times last night at the game, just to be sure I didn’t miss anything important, but my inbox was about to become unmanageable. I filled the tub and dumped in bubble bath I found on the counter. I climbed in before it was full and let out a sigh as the hot water immediately started working on my tight muscles.
I lay there for several long minutes, eyes closed, body starting to loosen, before I even touched my phone. Then I took a deep breath and opened my messages. And nearly shut the app, because, holy shit, I didn’t want to deal with this now.
But I was an adult, damn it, and I had to act like one.
I started with the messages from my partners.
Jen:
OMG what happened Thursday night
You disappeared
U ok
What’d your mom do this time
Leon:
Are you ok? Heard you never made it to your sister’s show.
Hey, you ok? Call please. We need proof of life .
I had several messages from client’s parents, questions I definitely needed to answer before end of day. Two messages from casting directors looking for talent. Those could wait until Monday. A message from a director asking specifically to see one of my client’s reels. I needed to get that out this afternoon. Luckily, that text had come in late last night.
Mrs. Santiago, our neighbor, was the only person I’d contacted last night because I knew she’d be looking for Krista for their weekly Saturday brunch
That just left my sister and mom.
Just rip off the bandage.
I clicked on my sister’s messages first and was surprised when I didn’t have to scroll back that far to get to Thursday night’s messages. They started out how I’d expected, with a lot of all caps and some serious “woe is me, you ruined my big night” energy. But the last couple were unexpected.
Tiff:
Hey, are you okay
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go off on you. you know how mom gets when things don’t go to plan.
Please get in touch. mom’s freaking out and I’m worried about you.
Well, that was different. My sister had never been worried about me. She was younger by five years and had always been self-involved. Mom had kept her busy with auditions and classes and every part she could book. She’d been a teenager when Krista had been born, and I’d been so wrapped up with having a baby at twenty-one that my relationship with my sister had become secondary. So maybe I was mostly to blame there.
I wish we’d all been closer, but life hadn’t turned out that way. It was nice that she actually sounded worried about me now. But before I answered her back, I had to read through my mom’s texts.
They started out pretty much as I expected. Wanting to know where I was going. How could you do this to your sister? Why are you acting like a child? Then came the guilt. How I’d ruined Tiff’s big night. How I couldn’t let Tiff shine on her own.
Which was bullshit. I didn’t want the spotlight now. There were secrets I needed to protect, and they weren’t mine.
Finally, she hit me with the concern and the apology. Was I okay? She was sorry. She’d been under a lot of stress. Where was I? When was I coming home? Was Krista okay? Did I need help?
It was the last question that made me close my eyes and sink a little farther beneath the water until my chin was covered and my lips could blow tiny waves across the water. I wasn’t being overly sensitive, and I wasn’t overreacting when I say that last question negated every other concern she might legitimately have.
My mom had never been able to accept that I’d willingly leave acting to do anything else. She’d never understood that that world had become toxic to me. That I’d left to save my sanity and, when Krista had come along, to save her from that world. I didn’t want her growing up like I had. I wanted her to have a normal childhood, whatever that meant these days. At our home in New York, it meant pre-school and a highly organized structure of playdates at carefully chosen events and hours-worth of classes from dance to sports to arts.
I tried to make my schedule predictable, but it didn’t cooperate all the time. And maybe I overcompensated because I wanted Krista to have all the things, and there were things I could never give her. Like a father. And at least one grandparent who wasn’t more concerned with her children’s success than she was with being a loving parent.
With a groan, I let myself sink completely under the water, holding my breath for several long seconds before I came back up for air.
Only to let out a startled yelp, when someone knocked at the door.
“Tressy, are you okay?”
Raffi. “Yes. Sorry. I didn’t hear you. Did you need something? Is Krista being too loud?”
Raffi’s laughter carried through the door. “Oh, hon, that single child could never be as loud as three boys and a girl fighting over what cartoons to watch on a Saturday morning. I just stopped by to see if you and Krista wanted to have breakfast with Reston and me?”
“Mommy, I’m hungry.”
I huffed. Of course she was. She was always hungry.
“Or I could just feed Krista a little something? Rowdy texted that he was taking you both to the team brunch, but I figured Krista would be hungry until then and you can have some extra time to get ready.”
Was this woman a literal saint? Seriously, there had to be something wrong with her.
“Mommy? Are you okay? Do you need help?”
I’d taught Krista not to open the bathroom door when it was shut, and to always ask if she could come in first. For some reason, Krista thought that meant I was in trouble.
“No, sweetie, I’m fine.”
“Then can I go with Miss Raffi? She said she’s gonna make muffins. I like muffins.”
“Sure, you can go. Make sure you thank Miss Raffi.”
From the other side of the door, I heard, “Thank you, Miss Raffi. Can we go now?”
“We’ll be in the kitchen, Tressy. Take your time. ”
Faintly, I heard the entry door open and close and then all was silent. And, oh my god, I don’t think I ever enjoyed a soak in a tub more. Krista was safe and taken care of. Not even our neighbor at home made me as comfortable as Raffi did. And that felt disloyal.
But walking out on your sister’s big night didn’t?
Not fair, I told Rational Girl. Totally, not fair.
Shoving all of that shit out of my head with an effort, I allowed myself the sheer pleasure of a half hour thinking of nothing. Just absolutely nothing. Not last night. Not Rowdy. Not Krista or my mom or my sister. Just blissful peace.
Until the tapping started. A quiet rap on wood. But not coming from the inside door. Definitely coming from outside.
My heart started to pound harder, but not from fright. Excitement made my breathing shallow out, and I got out of the tub and was reaching for a towel when my phone dinged.
Rowdy:
Hey, beautiful. You awake?
Those few words made me feel giggly and bubbly, like a teenager talking to her first crush. It was stupid and juvenile. And amazing.
Instead of answering, I ran out of the bathroom in just a towel and went straight to the outside door. My wet hair probably made me look like a drowned poodle, but I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t want him to get away.
He was turning away as I opened the door, but his head whipped around when he heard the knob turn. His smile was all I needed to see to know last night had not been a mistake. And maybe it was my over-acting libido or maybe it was sheer stupidity, but I had the crazy thought that maybe Krista and I should stay just a little while longer.
Like maybe forever.